The Way Home ~ Part One *** TEARS UNSHED ***

Tsukushi trudged pass the countless headstones, reaching a one plated in gold

“Toudou Shizuka, A loving friend to all who knew her.” was carved onto the top of the stone; below it was a picture of Shizuka. Tsukushi sighed. Even when Shizuka was dead, she still looked the way she looked once. Pretty and graceful. She sighed again. How unlucky was she? Her father had died, leaving her mother and brother and her alone. One of her best friends had passed away because of an accident. Tsukushi escaped with minor injuries and had spent half a year recuperating. Then, there was Shizuka. Once Tsukushi’s rival for the love of Hanazawa Rui. She died due to a terminal cancer. Before Shizuka died, she called Tsukushi. She told her to give Rui a chance. One chance. Tsukushi stared out to the sea of headstones. It was another period of conflict and hurt to come. Another decision to be made. The right one.
*
Rui paced up and down the hallway of Eitoku Gakuen. He soon spotted Tsukushi hurrying out from her Home Economics classroom.

“Sorry! I burnt my skillet and had to clean up the mess,” Tsukushi said, embarrassed.

Rui grinned. “I just composed a piece for you. It’s very simple. Just right for you to practise.”

”Okay! Let’s go,” Tsukushi cried excitedly.

It had been three months since Tsukushi took up the skill of violin from Rui. Though she had a shaky start, she was beginning to be more confident.
*
“Yea, you’re getting it,” Rui said, a smile on his face.

“Really?” Tsukushi’s face lit up in anticipation.

Rui nodded.

”It’s getting late. I’d have to fetch you home now if not Minu will blow a fuse,”

”You haven’t forgotten, have you? My mother is with Reiko. He’s graduating in Osaka. She has to be there to sign his certificates,” Tsukushi interrupted.

“Oh?” Rui raised his eyebrow. “I can’t let you be at home all by yourself. It’s dangerous.”

”Rui, I’m trained in Martial Arts.” Tsukushi said exasperated. Rui like Tsukasa was protective of Tsukushi. She felt secretly glad that Rui was so insistent on taking care of her but she was independent. Sole. Just one.

“No buts. Just tonight. You will be delivered safe and sound back to home once Minu comes back.”

Tsukushi sighed. She recognized that look of Rui. It meant that nothing anyone could do could change his mind.
*
“Rui! I can do menial work you know, no need to call the servants to do it!” Tsukushi cried.

“Oh, I just thought you might not know how to make a bed,” Rui teased.

“Oh yea?” Tsukushi challenged. “I don’t rely on my maids to pack my room, not like some people.”

Rui raised his hands in defeat and sauntered out of the room.

”Good night!” he called over his shoulders.
*
Tsukushi lay on the divan tossing and turning. She couldn’t sleep. Too much stuff was in her mind. Bombarding her with questions. Then, suddenly, I picture of Rui and Tsukasa cropped up into her head.

Argh, she screamed silently. Every time she started thinking, the subject of Rui and Tsukasa would come up, as though forcing her to make a choice.

Once again, she forced the picture out of her mind. Now wasn’t the time to choose. No, it wasn’t the right time. When the time came, she would then think about it. Think and make a decision. The right one.
*
Shigeru sat at the table of Vaguhn, sipping her latte.

“Sorry! I’m late!” Tsubaki said as she slipped into the mesh chair.

“Don’t worry, I’m used to it!” Shigeru teased.

Tsubaki gave a snort.

“So, have you ordered?” She asked.

“Yea…”

”Then, I’ll order.” She signaled the waiter.

After placing her order, Tsubaki turned back to Shigeru.

“So… What’s up? What’s so urgent?” she asked.

“Tsukushi’s birthday! I can’t believe you forgot!” Shigeru said, hyped.

“Oh… Yea… so have you thought of anything?”

”Well,” Shigeru said slowly. “I want this year to be very memorable for her. She’s been through a lot.”

”Big parties and celebrations are out, she doesn’t like those.”

”Hmmm? Well, maybe we could…”

Soon, the two were absorbed in the subject of deciding on what party to throw, oblivious to their surroundings.
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Tsukasa walked down the River Quay, thinking hard. He didn’t know what to get for Tsukushi on her birthday. She was not one for extravagance therefore anything that involved splurging was out. Still, he couldn’t think of a gift that would make it memorable.
*
At that very moment, Rui was strolling along the streets of Japan’s oldest shop houses. He stood by a miniature fountain, thinking to himself when suddenly, he snapped his fingers, causing passers-by to stare. He ignored their curious looks and hurried into a silversmith’s shop. After a moment, he stepped out of the shop. He made his way to VS.
*
”Yo, Rui!” Yelled Soujiro. In his arms was Yuuki.

“Yo!” yelled Akira. He was surrounded by many pretty faces whom Rui made out to be bimbotic. He ignored a wave of girls swooning around him and headed over to F4’s private, enclosed area.

“What’s up,” Tsukasa said as he slapped Rui on the back.

”Nothing much,” He said as he looked around the table.

He spotted Tsukushi and smiled at her. She returned it with a beam.

“I used to think you all came here just to stare at Akira and Soujiro toy around with girls… But now, Soujiro has Yuuki… so, the staring’s reserved for Akira,” Tsukushi said, causing a ripple of laughter around the table.

“Wanna dance?” Rui asked softly.

“Sure,” Tsukushi said, taken aback.

Soon, the duo made their way onto the dance floor. Despite the fast song, Rui and Tsukushi were in a world of their own.

”Lookin’ good!” Akira yelled as he neared them.”

Shifting their feet ever so slightly, it was as though time had stopped just for them. Tsukushi pulled Rui tighter into her embrace and breathed in the scent of him. So fresh. Like the warm summer. Autumn, as it was now, was just a faded memory. They stayed that way after the song had finished. After two songs, then, three.
*
Corrs – Irresistible
*
Stepping out of the silversmith’s shop, Rui carried a package tightly wrapped in brown paper. He took it back home and started to wrap it. He took out a wrapping paper with gold trimmings and wrapped it – Rui style. After five minutes, a stunning-looking squared present stood on Rui’s bed. Just perfect, he thought. Then, he proceeded to make a card, again, Rui style.
*
Tsubaki put down the phone. She smiled to herself. Plans for Tsukushi’s surprise party were all set. Tsukushi would never suspect anything if everyone kept their guard up. It was all just perfect. Planning something for a loved one was easy, Tsubaki thought to herself. Especially one who had been put through so many trials.
*
Tsukasa stepped out of his car and entered his house. He stared at the paperbag in his hands. Tsukushi was going to like this. She had too. Then, he thought, if Rui hasn’t gotten a better one.
*
Shigeru browsed through the boutique, Ricci, looking for a suitable gown for Tsukushi. Then, she caught sight of a white halter topped dress. The hems of the dress were dressed in silver trimmings. Just perfect. Then, she saw a silk, white shawl to go with the dress.

”I’ll take it!” she murmured softly.
********************************************************************************************

Tsubaki walked along the River Quay and stepped into the Yuri Catering. A chorus of greetings greeted her as she entered the spacious shop.

“Tsubaki-Chan, how may we serve you?” a salesgirl asked.

“I’d like to see Lin please,” Tsubaki answered politely. The girl muttered an answer and rushed off to a big room.

“Tsubaki!” a tall and graying woman cried.

“Lin!” The two hugged.

“So… what’s it you want from me now?” Lin asked.

“Well, I have this very dear friend of mine… her birthday’s coming up… I was wondering if Yuri could cater for her party.” Tsubaki asked hopefully.

“Surprise party?” Lin raised her brows.

“Yea, she used to be Tsukasa’s girlfriend,” Tsubaki lowered her voice.

Lin looked surprised but asked no questions.

“Come on, dear, we’ll see to all the preparations,” She put an arm around Tsubaki and walked her to an office.
*
Entering the spacious and decorative office, Tsubaki said, “Lin, you’ve come a long way,”

Lin just smiled.

“Now, do you have preferences… like western, local or Chinese food?”

”I don’t really know what food Tsukushi likes… but, local would be an unanimous choice…”

Soon after, the two ladies were absorbed in the conversation.
*
Akira was heading downtown when his phone rang.

“Hello?” he asked sweetly. There was no telling when his right girl would be on the line.

“It’s me,” Akira groaned. No way was she his girl.

“Wassup, Shigeru?” he said, trying to sound as upbeat as possible.

“Tsubaki and the others are now at Lei Gardens… you have to come. We’re planning Tsukushi’s party.”

Akira slapped his head. How could he have forgotten about Tsukushi’s birthday?

”Ok, be there in twenty minutes,” he hung up.
*

“Yo, I was beginning to think you were with a girl…” Soujiro joked softly as Akira slipped into a seat beside him.

“Funny you should mention that,” he snapped back.

“So, wassup, Shigeru said we’re here for Tsukushi’s party planning?”

”Yea… Shigeru has gotten her a dress and I have settled the catering with Yuri. It’s up to you four on how you’re gonna get her to arrive. Any suggestions, Rui?” Tsubaki asked Rui who had been silent all this while.

“Well, I could tell Tsukushi that I’d be taking her to dinner and we’ll just head to wherever you’re planning this?”

“You sound like you’ve planned everything,” Shigeru said in awe.

“Well, since that’s been settled, we have to decide on the guest list.” Tsukasa mused.

“Yea, I’ve got one prepared,”

”Us, Kazuya, Yuuki, her mom, Reiko and a few of her other friends…” Shigeru quipped.

“That’s too little! How can you have a party with only eleven or twelve people?” Tsukasa asked in exasperation.

“She doesn’t know that many people, Tsukasa,” Rui said calmly.

Tsukasa’s eyes flashed.

“Rui’s right but I kinda think eleven is a tad too little. Maybe we could invite our cousins? Some?” Akira suggested.

“But Tsukushi doesn’t know them… you have to remember we want her to feel as comfortable as possible.” Tsubaki said.

“But where is it in the first place?” Rui asked.

“Our mansion by SeaCrest,” Tsukasa said flatly. “No other better place.”

Shigeru rolled her eyes. “I think eleven is fine. Don’t you, Tsubaki?”

The older girl nodded her head and said, “So, that’s settled. Rui’ll bring Tsukushi. You’ll do the rest.”

F4 nodded.
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“Rui, where are we going?” Tsukushi ask softly.

“You’ll know soon.” Rui pulled the car out of the driveway. No way Tsukushi would suspect anything. Everything was so carefully maneuvered and Tsukushi had never seen the mansion by SeaCrest.

After a moment of silence, Rui glanced at Tsukushi. Her eyes were closed. She was dozing off because of the one hour drive. Her white halter dressed showed of perfect sloping shoulders and graceful neck. Her dark brown hair was pulled back in a simple design with a few strands left flowing. Her mascara was faint but just enough so you’d notice. On her left wrist, there was a thin silver bracelet with an intricate design. Simple, yet complicated at the same time. Hung loosely around her neck was a chain of silver complimented with a silver pendant of a cross. He turned his head back to the road. Ahead, a shadow of a beach house loomed up. The SeaCrest Mansion, one of the most expensive beach houses in the world.

He got out of the car and opened Tsukushi’s door.

“We’re here,” he murmured huskily.

Tsukushi stirred.

“’bout time…” she joked lightly.

Rui helped her to her feet and walked her up to the beach house which in the moonlight, was basked in splendor.

”It’s beautiful,” Tsukushi whispered to herself.

“Surprise!” a group of ten people jumped out.

“Tsukushi-Chan, happy birthday,” Tsubaki walked next to her and hugged her.

Tsukushi was too shocked to react. She looked at Rui.

“Happy birthday,” he whispered tenderly in her ear, his breath tickling her.

She felt a feeling of bliss envelop her. All her friends she so loved had planned this. All for her… her eyes brimmed. Then, she caught sight of Minu and Reiko.

“Mum! Reiko! What are you doing here? I thought you were attending a business conference in Malibu?” Tsukushi asked, pleasantly surprised.

“Tsubaki-Chan called me of all the plans.” Minu said lovingly. “Happy birthday.”

”Yea, oneesan!” Reiko quipped.

“you guys,” Tsukushi said choked with emotion.

“Come on, let’s get into the house,” Tsubaki led the group into the majestic mansion over-looking the ocean.

Rui took Tsukushi by the arm and led her into the house. She smiled gratefully.

Then, he whispered softly, “Sorry, some of your family’s business clients have come. We had to invite them,”

”You all have already done enough,” Tsukushi said, giving Rui a peck on his cheek. Then, she blushed. Rui just grinned.
*
Rui tightened his grip around Tsukushi. Her head was leaning against his shoulder. They were swaying slightly to the music. Sounds of people talking were tuned out. The two were in their own world. No communication, they were able to understand how each other felt. He looked down at Tsukushi whose eyes were closed. He sighed inaudibly. How had things become so complicated? Now, he and Tsukasa were vying for her love. He didn’t know who was leading. He knew that even if Tsukushi chose Tsukasa, he would be happy for her. As long as she got her happiness.

“Rui,” Tsukushi murmured, eyes still closed. “I love you. Thank you.”

Rui’s face lit up with a small smile. “I do too,”
*
Tsukushi was sitting down on a chair in one of the mansion’s rooms. In front of her was a pile of presents. Each wrapped in elegantly folded gold wrappings. She picked up the one at the top and began unwrapping it. She pulled out a box containing a set of keys. A note accompanying said,

”Dearest Tsukushi,

Thank you for all the times you’ve been there. Thanks for being the wonderful friend you are. This set of keys is for a new car. Please accept it. I will not take it back.

Love,
Tsubaki.
Your friend forever.”

Tsukushi smiled softly. Her friends were always splurging on her despite her unheard pleas not to. She pulled out her next present containing another box. Inside, there was a silver necklace with a sapphire pendant.

“Dearest Kushi,

Love from the two guys, Akira and Soujiro. You rock.” Was what it was said on the card. Tsukushi smiled again.
*
After an hour, all but two of her presents were opened. They were from Rui and Tsukasa respectively. She opened the one from Tsukasa. It was a small package containing a necklace with a simple design. On the back was carved, “The one, the only” Tsukushi widened her eyes. Tsukasa was not those who gave such meaningful things. She proceeded to open Rui’s. She gasped in delight.
Everyone else’s presents was nothing compared to Rui’s. A sleek, rosewood violin was standing in a violin case, a silver chain hung around it. There was a carved silver star for the pendant. She turned the violin around. On it was carved in cursive, “Tsukushi, my Starr.”
********************************************************************************************

Tsukushi lay on her bed, thinking of the past few days events. Time to get out her trusty diary. She unlocked the chest of drawers by her side and pulled out the silver book. She started looking around the room for a pen but to no avail. This room is so impractical, she thought to herself.

Just then, a knock sounded on her door.

“Tsukushi,” a muffled voice said. “Tsubaki asked me to get you. We’re going to the beach.”

”Yuuki? Gimme a second. I’ll be right down.” She heard Yuuki murmur her reply before thumping down the stairs.

She walked to the closet and pulled out a pair of board shorts and a tank top. Time to hit the beach.

“I’ll get back to you later.” She said to her diary on the bed and she walked out of the dreary room.
*
“Yo, Tsukushi! Join us down here!” Akira yelled as Tsukushi settled on the beach chair.

“Volleyball? No prob!” Tsukushi pulled her hair back into a ponytail as she stood up. She took stand against Akira and Soujiro when she joined Rui and Tsukasa.

“You’re gonna go down!” Tsukushi yelled as she tossed the ball into the air and smacked it. It flew high up before hitting Akira on the head and landing on the floor. She smirked at the stunned faces of F4. She heard Shigeru whoop appreciatively.

“See what I mean by down?” she teased the dumbfounded Akira and Soujiro.

“Makino! That was so cool!” Soujiro laughed.

“Good one Tsukushi,” she heard Tsukasa say.

She flashed a grin to him. “Thanks.” Then, she caught sight of Rui, a satisfied look upon his face. This was getting to be a good start.
*
After an hour of standing in the hot sun and sweltering, the ball game finally ended with 20 – 8 in favor of Tsukushi.

“Wow, you’re good.” Akira said as he plopped down onto the beach chair.

“So, how does it feel to get trashed by a good ol’ girl huh?” Tsukushi teased as she sat at the edge of Rui’s chair.

“Terrible,” Soujiro said as he put on a mock stern face.

“Good one there,” Tsubaki patted Tsukushi on the back. She grinned.

“So, what are we gonna do now?” Tsukasa asked.

“Any suggestions?”

“I wanna take you all somewhere.” Tsubaki trailed off. She kept a grin to herself. They were gonna be seriously surprised.
********************************************************************************************

Sitting down on the hard chairs in one of Eitoku Gakuen’s classrooms, Tsukushi looked out at the scenic view. She could faintly make out the view of Tokyo Tower from there. She took in a deep breath, taking in along the familiar scent of the cinnamons which wafted from the school kitchens. She tried to concentrate on the teacher who was droning on about equations but always found herself drifting to the night on her birthday when she receive the violin. She could see many people staring at her from the corner of her eye. She sighed softly. It had been like that once and it was like that now. But now, it was even worse because she was in the company of F4.

“Makino-Sempai, is anything wrong?” the teacher asked timidly. She had apparently heard Tsukushi’s sighs. F4 and Yuuki turned to look at her.

“Oh, don’t worry. Carry on. Could I just take a break for awhile?” she asked.

She saw the teacher nod as she stepped out of the air-conditioned classroom. Then, she started to shiver as she noticed tiny snowflakes drift down from the sky. She wrapped her hands around herself and leaned across the railing and took in another scenic view. Though this time, it was blessed with the splendor of a majestic snowcapped mountain. She wondered. Was it a good choice to have come back to Eitoku with everyone staring at her? She knew Rui and the others enrolled back into Eitoku because of her but she could see that they liked it back here. Well, Akira, Soujiro and Yuuki though. Akira because there were still many girls waiting for him. Soujiro because Yuuki was with him and vice versa. She sighed again. Rui was happy because Eitoku had built a sound-system room just for him where he could play his violin to his heart’s content. Although Tsukasa no longer red-tagged people, his mere appearance continued to terrorize the students in Eitoku who no doubt heard about F4’s power from their friends or siblings. After Tsubaki had brought them to a cruise where people dressed up as animals, Tsukushi could feel a heavy load lifted up from her heart. She wasn’t free yet. Yet. But she yearned to be.

Staring out at the view, no bad thoughts entered her mind. It was as though it was only her. Her and no one else.
********************************************************************************************

“Makino-Sempai, take a seat.” The principal said as he greeted the tall, pretty girl in front of him. “I’ve noticed that your SATS are amongst the highest it the district, therefore, I suggest that you, and a few other privileged ones, go on a year course in New York to train on Literature and other few advanced courses. How about it?”

Tsukushi was conflicted. “Sir, I am glad to have been chosen, but, honestly, I need some time to think.”

”I understand you are a confidante of F4?”

Tsukushi nodded her head.

“There is one…” The principal let his voice trail off.

”One?” Tsukushi cut in.

“One other boy in F4. His results are astonishing. Hanazawa Rui. He used to be slacking in Eitoku two years ago. But now… I simply can’t believe it. His marks, although lower than yours, is one of the highest in Grade 4.” The principal shook his head.

“There are a lot of things which have been changed since I met Rui,” Tsukushi shook her head ruefully, talking to herself more than to the principal.

“What’s that?” The principal questioned.

“Oh,” Tsukushi smiled. “Nothing. I best be getting back. I will see you again once I’ve made a confirmation. Thanks.”

”I sincerely hope that you will go. It will bring much glory to Eitoku and to your family if you win the all-state championship.” The principal said, turning back to his computer.

Tsukushi slipped out silently.
********************************************************************************************
 

“You seem to only come here when you are sad, angry, jaded or confused,” a voice cut through Tsukushi’s thoughts.

“Rui!” she said, startled.

“So… which is it?” he pressed.

“I don’t know…” she admitted.

“Confused, I guess,” she sighed.

“Care to talk about it?” he asked.

In a few minutes, every word that had been uttered in the principal’s office that time had been said. Rui looked at Tsukushi’s empty ones.

“Do you want to go?” Rui asked her quietly.

“I don’t know,” Tsukushi answered uneasily.

“Truth,” Rui warned.

“Fine, I do feel that a certain part of me wants to go. But how can I leave all of you?” Tsukushi said, burying her head in her hands.

“You better sort out your priorities, I’m going,” Rui patted her on the back and walked away.

“Some kind of friend you are,” Tsukushi muttered under her breath.

Rui hid a grin as he walked out. But he soon regained his somber demeanor.
That’s one thing I can’t help you decide, he thought. I am too inclined.
*
“Yo, what’s up?” Akira yelled. It was always like that. Whenever someone reached the corner of VS, Akira would yell loudly, shattering the peaceful atmosphere of the pub.

“Rui,” Tsukasa greeted.

“Soujiro… where’s he?” Rui asked. It was very seldom Soujiro would fail to turn up whenever F4 had gatherings.

“Yuuki. Who else?” Akira mock grumbled.

“He’s been spending practically all his time with her,” Tsukasa cursed. So have you with Tsukushi, he thought silently.

Rui glanced at Tsukasa. It was a casual gesture but he could see the veins in Tsukasa’s throat throbbing. Rui looked around. Akira was playing with a cute girl. No way he would overhear their conversation.

“I never meant for it to be like that,” Rui sighed softly. After a moment a stillness, Rui began, “It is not fair to just have left her there, no one to accompany her.”

“Why couldn’t it have been me? Why?” Tsukasa asked, burying his head in his hands. “Why must it always be you? It was like that once and now it’s like that again.” His voice came out, ragged with emotion.

For once, Rui was unnerved. Unnerved that Tsukushi could have such a major effect on Tsukasa. Affecting him, putting him in shallow spirits. Then, Rui wondered. Were Tsukasa and Tsukushi the perfect match? Was he the one who tore them apart? Then, he was brought back to that night. The night of the fateful accident.
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“Rui! Leave me! I have to save him!” Tsukushi screamed hysterically.

“Keep your voice down! We have no idea how trained the assailants are. If they come after you,” Rui trailed off.

“He can die! He can die.” Tsukushi cried, quiet sobs filling the empty hut.

Rui hugged her as he stared out onto the road. Tsukasa was lying motionless. No sign of the assassins. Those who had been hired to kill him.

Rui lifted Tsukushi up and ran towards the path. He hit the gravel as he bent down.

“God! What have they done to you?” he cried. He turned and saw Tsukushi’s heart-wrenching expression. He checked her pulse. It was faint. Faint but still there.
********************************************************************************************

If only he had called for help earlier. He was just too shocked at what he had seen and dealing with Tsukushi. If he had not prevented himself from rushing out to fight the assailants, maybe the situation right now would have been better. But what could I have done? Rui asked himself.

“Rui?” Tsukasa’s voice snapped Rui out of his deep reverie. “

”What?”

”You were staring off into space…”

“I’m sorry.” Rui said, walking out of VS, leaving a confused Tsukasa and a startled Akira.
********************************************************************************************

Taking in a deep breath, Tsukasa stepped into the hot Jacuzzi in the West wing of his house. He settled down into the steaming water. He exhaled. His head was spinning with lots of things. The hot smoke was enough to make him swoon but he kept his mind clear. For the fifth time that day, the image of Tsukushi slipped into his mind. For once, he did not push the picture away. He just sat in the Jacuzzi, reminiscing on the fond memories they shared. A bead of tear rolled down his cheeks. He lifted a finger to wipe it away. Boys didn’t cry. Right?
*
Sipping at her latte, Tsukushi sat patiently in the café, waiting for Rui to arrive. She glanced at her wrist-watch. 2.30. Rui had asked to meet her at 2.00. It was already past half and hour. She sighed.

“You know, you could’ve just left,” Rui said, amused.

“What the heck were you doing? I waited for you for half an hour!” Tsukushi cried in mock anger.

“I have a way to let you stay in Japan but still take part in the training,” Rui said slowly.

“Really?!” Tsukushi stood up.

“Yep, all you have to do is sign this form.” Rui produced a yellow form.

“Any strings attached?” Tsukushi arched her brow.

“Well, there is one. But I’m sure you’ll be able to fulfill it.” Rui said pushing a pen to her.

“You are pushy aren’t you,” Tsukushi laughed. Secretly, she was glad Rui wanted her to stay in Japan.

Official Entry Form

Name: ________________________
DOB: _________________________
Nationality: _____________________
School: Eitoku Gakuen
Country: Japan, Tokyo

Grade: 4
Course: Advanced

Terms and Conditions
1. You have to complete the course throughout. No sudden cancellation is allowed.
2. You have to pay a fee of ¥1000 for attending the course in Tokyo because teachers have to be flown in.
3. You have to submit a minimum of 10 pieces of writing each of 5,000 words during this one year or you can submit haikus of at least 100 words. Failing to do so will result in withdrawal of permit.
4. You have to bring a partner along

______________________
Signature of Applicant

______________________
Signature of Chairman

Tsukushi stared at Rui.

“This is…weird,” She said finally.

“So are you up for it?” Rui prodded.

“Will you go with me?” Tsukushi pleaded.

Rui put a finger to his head.

“I’d have to see if I have time for you,” he said jokingly.

“I’m not that important, I see,” Tsukushi said miffed.

Rui grinned.

“You always have to get your own way….” He said, chuckling to himself.
*
Seeing him brought back a rush of memories, though not very pleasant.

“Tsukasa!” Shigeru cried as she reached the boy. He seemed to be in a deep reverie. She tugged at his arm.

“Tsukasa?” she asked.

“Shigeru! What are you doing here?” Tsukasa asked.

“I was strolling around and I saw you. So…. What’s up?” she placed her hands inside her pocket.

“Nothing much,” Tsukasa sighed. “Just going on outings with my friends, sitting around… We haven’t done a lot.”

“Yea…”

“Fancy a cup of coffee?” Tsukasa asked suddenly.
*
Sitting in a corner of the posh coffeehouse, Vio, Shigeru and Tsukasa were happily chatting away. Shigeru could see his apparent yearning to be back with Tsukushi. She smiled sadly to herself. You never were mine. You still aren’t. I don’t think you’ll ever be. She thought to herself.
********************************************************************************************

Tsukushi sat on the swing, her feet grazing the soft grass.

“Here ya go,” Akira reached out and handed her a can of drink.

Tsukushi smiled gratefully. She crossed her legs.

“Push me?” she asked Akira.

Akira smiled softly. He walked over and pushed her. She swung up. Not high but not low either.

“Higher,” she breathed.

The feeling was exhilarating. In the blue azure sky, she felt free. No boundaries.

“It brings back memories, doesn’t it?” Akira smiled as he saw Tsukushi’s face flash with anticipation.

“It does.” Then, Tsukushi closed her eyes. Freedom. She longed for that. Then, for one split second, she felt full of life. For that split second, she saw a brilliant burst of fire in her heart. Then, it was gone. That was what she had been seeking. And still was.
*
Nishikado Soujiro lay on his bed, his mind reeling. For the past few days, he had spent with Yuuki, he had been filled with intense joy. Happiness he had never known. Then, a sudden ringing on the phone interrupted his thoughts. He picked up the phone. An unknown number.

“Soujiro,” a familiar voice greeted him.

“Sara!” he breathed.
*
Yuuki sat at the entrance of Burger King as she waited for a taxi to arrive when she caught sight of a tall girl. Her hair was a gorgeous brown-black. It hung down to her waist. Her clothes were those of model. She recognized her. She had seen her in a picture with Soujiro on his desk. Sara. Soujiro’s first love. She was back. Did Soujiro know? She was about to board a taxi when she saw Soujiro walking over to Sara. She felt her heart slowly breaking as she saw Sara hug Soujiro. Soujiro hugged her back. She left.
*
Sara was back. I met her at BK’s. She’s now in my car. Sleeping I guess. When, I saw her, I felt a feeling in my heart being roused as I held her in my arms. Exactly what, I didn’t know. She leaned against me, telling me she was sorry for leaving. She told me she spent many sleepless nights thinking about me. I knew she expected me to feel the same. All of a sudden, I felt guilty. Yuuki loved me dearly. She loved me with her life. Sara loved me earlier than Yuuki. Yet, she left. She left because of my fear of commitment. But when she came back…. My priorities just flowed into each other. Who should I choose? Who would hurt more? Who did I love?
********************************************************************************************
 

I sat on the carpeted floor, a feeling of calm building in me. Walking towards me was F4. The most outstanding was Tsukasa with his curled hair. He was wearing a loose khaki shirt with a pair of black leggings. Akira and Soujiro both had on polo shirts –Akira left his opened at the chest – and a pair of khaki pants. Rui was wearing a white cotton top with a pair of corduroy pants. He smiled softly as he saw me.

“Makino Tsukushi, it’s early,” Akira yelled as he reached me.

“School starts early,” I said.

Rui walked towards me and sat down.

“School starts at 10. It’s now 9. You must have come here earlier.”

I wanted to kill Rui.

“Actually,” I hesitated. “I was here to decide on whether or not to sign up for the course.”

“What course?” Tsukasa asked, frowning.

“It’s an advanced course.” Rui spoke.

“You know about it?” Akira asked, curious.

“I was invited to join.”

“You all are smart. But Rui’s smarter.” I smirked. Rui reached over and ruffled my hair. Tsukasa narrowed his eyes.

“I wanna join…” Tsukasa said his voice trailing off.

You? I thought silently. Tsukasa was no retard in his studies but he was no genius either…

“You gotta be kidding!” Akira hollered with laughter. Soujiro joined in.

I could feel heat radiating off Tsukasa.

“You guys,” I lowered my voice.

“We could join with you,”
“With your grades?” Oops. I didn’t mean for those words to come out.

“Hey. We’re hurt, you think we’re dumb.” Soujiro put on a wounded face.

Rui raised his eyebrow. “How the heck are you all gonna enroll? It’s not that your grades rock.”

“You- Why you don’t think we can get in?” Tsukasa made a finger-rubbing motion.

They were going to use their money to buy their way into the system.

“No way they’re gonna let you in like that! It’s for people with brains!” I laughed.

Tsukasa raised his brow. “Oh yea? Just watch me.”

He sauntered towards the administrative office. A few minutes later, he came back with a grin. I couldn’t believe it!

“I got it!” he smirked.

He flashed out three forms similar to that of mine.

Akira and Soujiro thumped him on the back. Rui laughed lightly. Me? I was stunned and horrified at the same time. There are a lot of things money could do. I never knew Eitoku was that biased. But after all, it was owned by F4…
*
I walked slowly towards the reception, F4 trailing behind me. In my hands were the five filled up forms. I entered the room. I submitted the fives forms to a receptionist. She frowned lightly. She was about to say something when F4 showed up. Akira flashed her a charming smile. She tried not to wince in F4’s presence. It would surely be a bad impression. She sighed very softly and put the forms into and envelope and sealed it. Then, she stamped Eitoku’s address on it and smiled. Ah, a signal –a polite one- for us to go. As we stepped out of the office, Soujiro and Akira gave a high five. Tsukasa smirked at them. Life wasn’t fair. We got into the program with our brains; they bought themselves into the program….
********************************************************************************************

I clutched the portfolio tightly in my hand. I threw a careless glance behind. F4 was well, just F4. They were fooling around. Joking casually. Rui walked up to me.

”Nervous?” He asked.

Rui knew me so well.

“Yes,” I needn’t elaborate. He knew how I felt.

I entered the elevator and pressed the button “11”. It sure was high up. Looking out of the glass windows, I could see swarms of people bustling about. The door opened. A blast of cool, dry air hit me. In the center of the floor, there was a fountain flowing with dry ice. I spun on my heels and observed the place. There was hardly anyone. Just two students sitting far off in the corner. As soon as they learned of our arrival, they quickly packed their bags and headed down. One part of the wall was glass. The view was spectacular. Instead of buildings, one could actually see snow laced fields and terrains. On the left hand corner, there was a library so vast, it was as big as my three storey. I glanced nervously at Rui.

“What are we supposed to do?” I said through slightly gritted teeth.

“Chill,” Akira said smoothly. He and Soujiro headed to a coffee bar on the veranda. “We have the entire place to ourselves.” Tsukasa and Rui followed suit. Eventually, I did too. Akira went behind the bar and started whipping up a cocktail.

“This place is huge!” I said aloud.

“Actually, it is bigger than an average ground.” Rui mused.

I wrapped my arms around myself. I had worn a sleeveless top not knowing it would be so cold. Rui took off his sweater and handed it to me. I smiled gratefully. Just as Akira was about to pour the cocktail, the elevator bell rang. Out stepped Tsubaki and a foreign lady. Akira quickly gulped down the cocktail. Luckily, Tsubaki didn’t notice.

“Ah! There you are.” Then, she stopped.

“What are you doing here?” She asked F3.

“You didn’t know?” I asked incredulously. Much to my surprise, Tsubaki didn’t blow up. She just smiled and said, “This will be your teacher,” she gestured towards the lady. She was clad in grey. Her hair was a pretty auburn color. She stood up tall. Akira gave her and impressed one-over.

“Akira, flirting with her is a no-no,” Tsubaki warned.

The gajin laughed. “I doubt so!” It was a tinkling melodious laugh. I could feel an inviting and friendly aura around her.

“I guess I’ll leave you all now. I’ll be at the library if you need me!” Tsubaki waved as she slid a card into a reader.
*
I was lying down on the floor writing a haiku. F4 was doing the same. Every now and then, I saw Tsukasa scratch his hand in confusion. There. The work was done. I passed it up to the teacher. Leia, she was called.
I read it out to her.

“The winter is a passing phase,
the summer a longer one.

When I breathe,
I just sense.

An aura of sadness,
Impending doom.

What’s it you call?
Is it love?

Time flew by.
We never noticed.

Time to time,
We caught glimpses of love, care

Time to time.

How was it?” I asked Leia. We were on a first name basis.

“It was splendid!” She said in a low voice. A small smile wreathed her face.

“Yea, it was cool.” Rui said slowly as I walked back to my spot.

I smiled back. Being praised was one of the things I liked. Pity it seldom came. I pushed all thoughts out of my mind and started on another haiku. This time, I was asked to focus on a main topic, Love.
********************************************************************************************

After submitting three haikus to Leia, F4 and Tsukushi left school. Tsukasa, Rui, Akira and Tsukushi went to VS while Soujiro went home. He plopped down on the bed and looked at handphone. Five messages. All from Sara. He found it unusual for Yuuki not to text him. He sighed and began reading the messages.

“Soujiro, Sara here. Wanna join me for lunch? ASAP reply,”

“Soujiro… did you receive my earlier message?”

“JIRO? Are you there?”

”Ok. Maybe you’re out somewhere. I’ll go for lunch myself.”

“Forgot. In case you wanna come, I will be at VS from 12 – 1! Hopefully see you.”

Soujiro sighed again. Life was so hectic. Then, he bolted upright. F3 and Tsukushi were there! They couldn’t meet Sara! He thumped down the stairs and climbed inside his BMW and practically flew to VS.
*
Rui, Tsukushi, Tsukasa and Akira were sipping their drinks down when Akira caught sight of a girl clad in brown. Her silky tresses hung down to her waist.

“Sara!” he cried softly. Much to Tsukushi’s and F2’s surprise he got up and pulled the girl’s arm just as Soujiro pulled the other.

“Soujiro!” the girl cried as she shook herself free from Akira’s grip and hugged Soujiro.

“Soujiro, you better explain this,” Tsukushi said in a low dangerous voice, walking up to the duo.

“Who’s this?” Sara said, frowning.

”Who are you?” Tsukushi asked, folding her arms.

“I’m Jiro’s girlfriend of course!” Sara said beaming.

Soujiro looked at her in shock.

“You aren’t!” he said.

Tsukushi glared at him murderously.

“Who are you and why are you harassing Jiro?” Sara said, voice chilly.

“I am his girlfriend’s best friend. Soujiro only has one girlfriend. That is Ohara Yuuki.” Tsukushi said coolly.

“Soujiro, what the heck are you doing with Sara?” Akira said quietly. Tsukushi was mad. Way mad.

Soujiro shot him a look which plainly said “Shut up.” Akira give a snort of exasperation and walked off, leaving Soujiro with two very angry girls.

“Soujiro, you better-“ Tsukushi was cut off.

“Sara, you go home first. I have something to talk to Tsukushi,” Soujiro said sweetly, steering Tsukushi away before the other girl could protest.
*
“You see,” Soujiro said after explaining Sara and his past story.

Tsukushi kept quiet. She never knew how deep relationships Soujiro had but this was one of the deepest.

“Sara, the girl, she wasn’t very nice…” Tsukushi said after a long moment of silence.

“I noticed.” Soujiro said dryly.

“Do you still love Yuuki?”

“Yes!” He cried indignantly.

“How about Sara?”

“That, I don’t know…” He said, voice trailing off.

“You’d better decide. If Yuuki gets hurt, no way you are gonna live."


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