Gross Songs - Part 2

Table of Contents

• He Jumped from 40,000 Feet
• Ain't Gonna Rain no More
• My Leader
• Do Your Ears Hang Low
• Jaws
• Gopher Guts
• Turkey Day
• Worms
• Commercial Mixup
• On Top of Spaghetti
• Sam, Sam, the Lavatory Man

He jumped from 40,000 feet and forgot to pull the cord,
He jumped from 40,000 feet and forgot to pull the cord,
He jumped from 40,000 feet and forgot to pull the cord,
And he ain't gonna fly no more.

Chorus:
Glory, glory, what a heck of a way to die
Glory, glory, what a heck of a way to die
Glory, glory, what a heck of a way to die
And he ain't gonna fly no more.

He was last to leave the cockpit and the first to hit the ground..
He was last to leave the cockpit and the first to hit the ground..
He was last to leave the cockpit and the first to hit the ground..
And he ain't gonna fly no more.

Chorus

He landed on the runway like a blob of strawberry jam.
He landed on the runway like a blob of strawberry jam.
He landed on the runway like a blob of strawberry jam.
And he ain't gonna fly no more.

Chorus

They scraped him off the runway with a silver spoon.
They scraped him off the runway with a silver spoon.
They scraped him off the runway with a silver spoon.
And he ain't gonna fly no more.

Chorus

They sent him home to mother in a little wooden box.
They sent him home to mother in a little wooden box.
They sent him home to mother in a little wooden box.
And he ain't gonna fly no more.

Chorus

His mother didn't want him so she sent him back to us.
His mother didn't want him so she sent him back to us.
His mother didn't want him so she sent him back to us.
And he ain't gonna fly no more.

Chorus

Suggested hand motions:

1. last to leave (flap arms like bird) the cockpit..
2. first to (slap hands) hit the..
3. He (slap hands) landed on..
4. They (make scooping motion) scraped him..
5. in a little (make small box with hands) box.
6. so she sent (make overhand throwing motion) him back to us.

And here is another version:

He jumped from 40,000 feet and never pulled the cord,
He jumped from 40,000 feet and never pulled the cord,
He jumped from 40,000 feet and never pulled the cord,
And he ain't gonna jump no more.

Chorus:
Gory, gory, what a heck of a mess he made
Gory, gory, what a heck of a mess he made
Gory, gory, what a heck of a mess he made
And he ain't gonna jump no more.

He landed on the highway like a hunk of strawberry jam.
He landed on the highway like a hunk of strawberry jam.
He landed on the highway like a hunk of strawberry jam.
And he ain't gonna jump no more.

Chorus

They sent him home to mother on a slice of moldy bread.
They sent him home to mother on a slice of moldy bread.
They sent him home to mother on a slice of moldy bread.
And he ain't gonna jump no more.

Chorus

Chorus:
Oh, it ain't gonna rain no more, no more
It ain't gonna rain no more
How in heck can I wash my neck
if it ain't gonna rain no more

Verses:

A bum sat by the sewer
And by the sewer he died
And at the coroners inquist
They call it sewer side

[Chorus]

A peanut sat on the railroad track
It's heart was all a-flutter
Along came the 4:15
Toot toot, peanut butter

[Chorus]

My father is a butcher
My mother is a cook
And I'm the little hot-dog
That runs around the brook

[Chorus]

My father built a chimney
He built it up so high
He had to take it down each night
To let the moon go by

[Chorus]

My daddy is a doctor,
My mommy is a nurse,
And I'm the little needle
That gets you where it hurts...

[Chorus]

Mary had a little lamb,
Her father shot it dead
And now she takes it to school
Between two slices of bread...

Tune: My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean

My leader fell into a pothole
In a glacier while climbing an Alp.
He's still there after 50 long winters,
And all you can see is his scalp.

Chorus:
Bring back, bring back,
O bring back my leader to me, to me.
Bring back, bring back,
O bring back my leader to me, to me.

My leader was proud of his whiskers,
To shave them would give him the blues.
They hung all the way to his ankles,
And he used them for shining his shoes.

Chorus

My leader had faith in a sailboat
He had built from an old hollow tree.
My leader set sail for Australia,
Now my leader lies under the sea.

Chorus

My leader made friends with hyenas,
He gave them a ride on his raft.
When a crocodile reached up and grabbed him,
The hyenas just sat there and laughed.

Chorus

My leader annoyed his dear parents
They tossed him right out of the bus.
And if we don't mend our behavior,
Why that's what will happen to us.

Chorus

Do your ears hang low?
Do they wobble to and fro?
Can you tie them in a knot?
Can you tie them in a bow?
Can you throw them over your shoulder
Like a continental soldier?
Do your ears hang low?

Do your ears flip-flop?
Can you use them for a mop?
Are they stringy at the bottom?
Are they curly at the top?
Can you use them for a swatter?
Can you use them for a blotter?
Do your ears flip-flop?

Do your ears hang high?
Do they reach up to the sky?
Do they droop when they're wet?
Do they stiffen when they're dry?
Can you semaphore your neighbor
With a minimum of labor?
Do your ears hang high?

Do your ears hang wide?
Do they flap from side to side?
Do they wave in the breeze
From the slightest little sneeze?
Can you soar above the nation
With a feeling of elation?
Do your ears hang wide?

Do your ears fall off
When you give a great big cough?
Do they lie there on the ground
Or bounce at every sound
Can you stick them in your pocket,
Just like little Davey Crocket?
Do your ears fall off

Tune: Do Re Mi

JAWS A mouth , a great big mouth
TEETH The things that kinda crunch
BITE The friendly sharks "hello"
US His favorite juicy lunch
BLOOD That turns the ocean red
CHOMP That means the sharks been fed
GULP That will bring us back to
JAWS! JAWS! JAWS! JAWS!

Great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts,
Mutilated monkey meat,
Little birdies dirty feet,
Great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts,
And I forgot my spoon!

Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts,
Multilated monkey meat,
Itsy bitsy birdie feet,
French fried eye-balls,
Rolling down a muddy street,
And I forgot my spoon.

(pause)

But I got my straw!

Great green gobs of greasy grimey gopher guts,
Mutilated monkey meat,
Saturated birdy feet,
All wrapped up in
All purpose porpoise pus.
And me without a spoon!

Gee whiz! (but I've got a straw)

Tune: Bring Back my Bonnie to Me

My turkey went walking one morning
The November weather to see.
A man with a hatchet approached her.
Oh, bring back my turkey to me.

Chorus:
Bring back, bring back
Oh, bring back my turkey to me, to me.
Bring back, bring back
Oh, bring back my turkey to me.

I went down the sidewalk a shoppin'
The sights in shop windows to see.
And everywhere hung great fat gobblers.
Oh, bring back my turkey to me.

Chorus

I went out to dinner and ordered
The best things they had I could see.
They brought it all roasted and sizzling;
They brought back my turkey to me.

Brought back, brought back,
They brought back my turkey to me, to me.
Brought back, brought back,
They brought back my turkey to me.

Nobody likes me,
Everybody hates me!
I'm gonna eat some worms.

Chorus (Repeat after each verse)
Long, slim slimey ones,
Short, fat juicy ones,
Itsy, bitsy, fuzzy, wuzzy worms.

First you get a bucket,
Then you get a shovel,
Oh how they wiggle and squirm.

First you pull the heads off,
Then you suck the guts out.
Oh how they wiggle and squirm.

Down goes the first one,
Down goes the second one,
Oh how they wiggle and squirm.

Up comes the first one,
Up comes the second one,
Oh how they wiggle and squirm.

Everybody likes me,
Nobody hates me!
Why did I eat those worms?

Chop up their heads and
Squeeze out their juice,
And throw their tails away.

Nobody knows how I survive
On worms three times a day!

Tune: Farmer in the Dell

Last night I watched TV.
I saw my favorite show
I heard this strange commercial
I can't believe it's so.

Feed your dog Chiffon,
Comet cures a cold
Use SOS pads on your face
To keep from looking old.
Mop your floor with Crest.
Use Crisco on your tile.
Clean your teeth with Borateem,
It leaves a shining smile.
For headaches take some Certs,
Use Tide to clean your face.
And do shampoo with Elmer's Glue
It holds your hair in place.

Perhaps I am confused.
I might not have it right.
But one things that I'm certain of. . .
I'll watch T.V. tonight!

Actions: make appropriate finger and body actions for the words, and don't leave out a real, live sneeze.

On top of spaghetti,
All covered with cheese.
I lost my poor meatball,
When somebody sneezed.
It rolled off the table,
And onto the floor.
And then my poor meatball,
Rolled out of the door.

It rolled in the garden,
And under a bush.
And then my poor meatball,
Was nothing but mush.

The mush was as tasty
As tasty could be,
And early next summer
It grew into a tree.

The tree was all covered
With beautiful moss,
It grew lovely meatballs
And tomato sauce.

So if you eat spaghetti,
All covered with cheese,
Hold on to your meatballs
And don't ever sneeze.

The motions are a must when singing this song.

Sam, Sam, the lavatory man,
Chief inspector of the out house clan (stand straight like soldier & salute)
He issues the tissues, the paper, and the towels (pass out 'items')
He listens to the sounds of the rumbling bowels (hold hand to ear)
Down, down, down below the ground (point down on down)
Where all the little poopies are swimming around (swimming motion)
There sits Sam, the lavatory man,
Scooping up the poopies,
Scooping up the poopies,
Scooping up the poopies in his little tin can! (scoop 3x times and proudly hold up 'tin can')