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News Flash The famous Harry Potter has been arrested for the murder of Professor Brian Purewood and his son, Philip Purewood! Professor Purewood, who was very popular as the Charms Professor and also an extremely talented Keeper worked closely with the Potter boy during his short time at Hogwarts, training him in the sport of Quidditch and teaching him many Self-Defence Charms. Philip, who was a very talented Chaser on the Hufflepuff Quidditch team and had caught the eye of many of the young girls, was sadly caught in the middle of the deadly duel. We managed to track down the Minister of Magic, Mr Cornelius Fudge for a quick interview. W.W. Has Harry Potter really been charged in the murder of Brian and Philip Purewood? C.F. Yes, we have some very hard evidence against him too. W.W. Can you tell us what happened to bring this incident about? C.F. We have witnesses who say they saw Harry perform the Killing curses on the two Purewoods. And after we checked his wand to find out what the last spell was, we found out he did perform it. W.W. Will the Ministry of Magic put him on trial? C.F. Yes we will. We are awaiting a preliminary trial date. W.W. Where are you currently holding him? C.F. We are currently holding him in a security part of Azkaban. W.W. If convicted, is Azkaban really the place for an underage Wizard? C.F. Any one who would perform such a dastardly crime deserves Azkaban for life, if not the Dementor's kiss. W.W. Do YOU really believe that Potter is capable of this terrible crime? C.F. It has been suspected before that Potter has some mental disabilities. Fudge has suggested that any one who has any more evidence for or against Mt Potter should post it in the Great Hall. Winton Winchfield Editor

Breaking News!!! There has been a sighting of You-Know-Who. It is last rumored he was hiding out in Paris. Two reports were filed about the sightings and gave me a chance to get out of the office. I traveled to Paris just to talk to the two people who say they saw him.: ~Zeke~: Hello Pierre. Can you tell about when you saw You-Know-Who? Pierre: Well I was playing with a friend at the time and we decided to go play hide-and-seek in the woods. We play it all the time there. And I was hiding and I heard someone moving around then a hiss-like voice. I got really scared cause I knew it wasn’t my friend Xavier. So I got up and when I did… I… seen You-Know-Who. ~Zeke~: What did you do after you saw You-Know-Who? Pierre: Well I ran as fast as I could to find Xavier. I finally found him. Luckily for us, Xavier was at the edge of the woods. After that, I told him. ~Zeke~: Then what did you do? Pierre: We ran back to my house and called up the Ministry of Magic. ~Zeke~: That was good thinking. What did they Ministry do when they got there? Pierre: They came right out and looked around in the woods. Nothing. ~Zeke~: Thank you Pierre. And now onto the second witness. Her name is Helga. Helga, where did you see He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named? Helga: Well I was out trimming my flowers when I heard the noise next door. No one lives next door and its an abandoned old shack anyway. Well I heard the noise then I seen some strange light upstairs. So I knew better than to go into the house because the thing could fall down any minute. I just levitated myself to the window and I seen him. At least I think it was a person. ~Zeke~: Then what did you do? Helga: Well I ran back inside and used some Floo Powder and went to the Ministry of Magic. I told them that I had seen You-Know-Who. And the Minister had told me that I wasn’t the first. That a little boy had seen him too! So they investigated the house. And nothing. ~Zeke~: Creepy! I don’t think I’d want to live there again. Knowing You-Know-Who was right next door. Gives me the heeby-jeebies just thinking about it. If you have anymore information on anything, e-owl me at: synthetic_reality@antisocial.com I’ll send you an e-mail back A.S.A.P. ~Zeke Greco * Reporter

Gossip Column Listen up, gals, I've got the latest gossip here. From the good to the bad, the happy and sad. From the very corners of the universe, here is your weekly gossip column. ~VOLDEMORT SIGHTINGS!!! There have been various reports of Voldemort sightings in the most remote areas of Romania... so I've been told. *giggle* ~In other news, my sources have informed me that the star of the Syko Pumpkin Eaters, Zeke Greco, has come to our own Hogwarts! Oooh, he's so dreamy. ~It is also my official duty to keep the people humble... and horribly embarrased as I inform you all that Professor Snape sleeps with a Teddy Bear named Norman. ~I've also been informed, by an anonymous letter, that your mother's so ugly, they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower. HA! I love that one. Well, that all for now. Over and out from Kaya Dominique, your friendly gossip queen

Quidditch News No Sept. Quidditch News Yet. Try Again Next Week!

One Of Your Own Ron Weasley Ladies and gentlemen of Hogwarts, I've gone on a writing binge. For the next several months, I'm going to be interviewing your own classmates. This week, I'm going one-on-one with your Head Boy, Mr. Ronald Weasley. Here we go. ~Des~: :shakes hands: Welcome, Ron. Hope you're feeling well. Let's get straight to the interrogation, shall we? How does it feel to be made Head Boy? Ron: It feels great! I mean me. Ron Weasley. Head Boy. Hard to believe really isn't it! ~Des~: :smiles: Not at all. Do you like to be in Gryffindor? Ron: I really like it!! My whole family was in Gryffindor, and besides my best friends Harry and Hermione are in Gryffindor too!! ~Des~: It's always great to have your friends nearby. Now, for all of those single ladies out there, do you have a girlfriend? Ron: :goes red and stammers: uh, well ... you see ... I uh ... that is ... yes. ~Des~: :grins: Didn't mean to put you on the spot there. Getting on, What is your life-long goal? What is it that you most want to do with your life? Ron: Well, I either want to play Quidditch professionally or be an Auror. ~Des~: Very honorable choices. Your mother must be very proud of you. Sad though it is, I'm afraid that our conversation will have to end with this final question. What do you think would be a big improvement to Hogwarts? Ron: A Tri-Wizard Tournament! ~Des~: I wholeheartedly agree, Mr. Weasley. I thank you again for you time with me. I'm sure you already had enough on your hands with school to worry about. Thank you. Thanks again, Ron. I will be interviewing Mr. Harry Potter next week and plan to interview the new Head girl after that, but if you would line up an interview with me for a later date, please e-mail me at jadeorenda_79@yahoo.com if you are interested. Destiny Tisegope Star Reporter

Gossip Column No Sept. Gossip Yet Try Again Next Week!

A Few Start of Term Notices Thank you students and professors. I would like to remind you of a few things as the second term begins. Students should also know that all assignments are due by Friday of each week, unless instructed otherwise by your Professors. New classes should be ready to present to students each Monday. Nominations are completed for Head Boy and Head Girl. You can see who the successful students were by visiting the Great Hall. Also completed is the voting for Quidditch Captains. You can see who your Captain is in your Common Room and also the Quidditch Class. I would also like to remind you of the great new school that has opened up, "Attend Hogwarts" . This school has many exciting things to offer, including personal vaults and jobs within the Ministry of Magic. Also opened is another "Hogwarts School" . The owner of this site is looking for new Professors and Students. Show your support and sign up! A great new paper has started printing. This site is based on the Daily Prophet and it is alot of fun. Check it out! Welcome back! Your Hogwarts Host

Headlines The Syko Pumpkin Eaters! The new rock senstaion, The Psyko Pumpkin Eaters, has just realeased it's new CD, Shock Therapy. I, myself, have had the privelage of speaking to the members. Here are the results of my survey. Q: Do any of you have any tattoos? Zeke Greco: On my right calf, I have a rusted sword with bleeding roses wrapped around it, on my right shoulder, I have the SPE (Syko Pumpking Eaters) symbol, and on my lower back, I have a dragon. Brad Cosman: On my right shoulder, I have the SPE. We all do. Also, my entire left arm is covered in various tattoos. Jason Rawlie: Nothing but the SPE. Michael Boswith: The SPE on my right shoulder. On my left shoulder, I have barbed wire wrapped around my arm with trickling blood and on my left shoulder blade I have some kind of wierd demon. Q: Any piercings? Zeke: I have several; my tongue, two in my right ear, and both of my eyebrows. Brad: One in each ear and my nose. Jason: I have a bull ring in my nose and both of my ears have those rings that stretch the lobes. Michael: Both of my eyebrows, my nose, and my tongue. Q: We're almost done. Now, the one every single girl's been dying to know, any girlfriends? Zeke: No, but I'm not looking, either. Brad: I am happily commited to a wonderful girl in New Jersey. Jason: I'm with Zeke on this one. I'm a bachelor and proud of it. Michael: I'm trying to hold up a long-distance relationship with a really nice girl in Louisiana. Q: And last question. What is does your favorite shirt say? Zeke: One by one the penguins steal my sanity. Brad: I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out. Jason: Da ja vu (day-zha-voo): been there, done that. Michael: I used to be schitzophrenic but we're okay, now. I have personally thanked the boys for sharing their thoughts with us. Even with their busy schedule, it is nice to know that they still have time for their fans. So, thank you, once again, Zeke, Brad, Jason, and Michael, from the bottom of every teenage girl's heart. Destiny Tisegope Star Reporter

Gossip Column No Sept. Gossip Yet Try Again Next Week!