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Double L: Hello I'm Double L, your host for this episode of Family Feud. In the true tradition of Family Feud hosts, I can't make a funny joke for my life! So rather than try, I'm just going to send you off to meet our contestants!
Announcer: Knight, Master, Ninja, Red Wizard, Black Wizard! Here they are, the Light Warriors!
Announcer: Chaos, Tiamat, Kraken, Kary, and Lich! The Final Fantasy bosses, ready for action!
Double L: (Walking toward Light Warriors) Now I understand that you guys have a friend who can't be here.
Knight: Um…yeah. You shouldn't call him a friend though. We decided not to bring the White Wizard along because…well…he sucks.
Master: Yeah. He's the worst character in the game. All he can do is heal people, and once you get the Heal Staff there's no need for him to heal people.
Double L: (Crossing over to Final Fantasy bosses) But you guys brought all your members.
Chaos: Yes. We have five.
Double L: Well why don't we get right to it! It's time to play the Family Feud!
(Chaos and Knight walk up to buzzers at front)
Double L: One-hundred people surveyed top three answers on the board, try to name the number one answer - Name a green fruit.
Chaos: (Ringing in) Pear!
Double L: Pear is number two with 16 responses. Knight, can you name the number one answer?
Knight: Well, the White Wizard sure is a fruit…but he's not green. I'll go with grape.
Double L: Number three with 12. Chaos, pass or play?
Chaos: We shall play.
Double L: Leonardo, we're looking for the number one answer for a green fruit.
Tiamat: Well, I'd bet a good share of pizza it's apple.
Double L: Apple!…number one answer, 39 people!
(Final Fantasy bosses party enthusiastically)
Double L: Impressive. Well, the Final Fantasy bosses hold a lead of 67 to 0. And they got all the answers without a single strike! That doesn't happen often.
Knight: Hey, I got one of them.
Chaos: I see. You didn't get any of the points though. Mwahaha!
Double L: Now now. We're only in the first round. Let's save the real fireworks for later. Tiamat and Master, come up here to play Round 2!
(Tiamat and Master walk to buzzers at front)
Double L: One-hundred people surveyed looking for the number one answer - Name something you register for.
Tiamat: (Ringing in) Cash register!
Double L: (Shaking head) Should have worked on that intellingence rating. Master?
Master: A contest, like a raffle.
Double L: Contest the number two answer, 22 people! Pass or play?
Master: We'll play this one.
Double L: (Walking to Light Warriors team) Ninja, name something you register for.
Ninja: You register to vote.
Double L: Vote!…number one answer! 39 people. Red Wizard, name something you register for.
Red Wizard: …
Double L: Time's up. First strike. Black Wizard, something you register for.
Black Wizard: You register to learn magic.
Double L: Maybe you do, but it's not on the board. Knight, it's all up to you.
Knight: You register…register…for school?
Double L: School!…yeah, it's up there! 15 responses! The Light Warriors take the second round, and they have taken the lead 76 to 67! This is one close game! Let's go on to round 3! Ninja and Kraken, take your places at the podium!
(Ninja and Kraken walk to buzzers at front)
Double L: One-hundred people were surveyed top three responses on the board - Name something you eat that comes in a shell.
Kraken: (Ringing in) Egg!
Double L: Egg the number one answer, 40 responses! Pass or play?
Kraken: We'll play.
Double L: (Walking toward Final Fantasy bosses) Kary, name something that comes in a shell.
Kary: …Crab?
Double L: Crab!…number three, 13 answers! Lich, can you finish this one off?
Lich: I'll go with Lobster.
Double L: Lobster is it! Number two, 19 responses! And the Final Fantasy bosses have taken a lead, 139 to 76! But that could all vanish in an instant because it's time for the triple bonus round! Point values are tripled! Red Wizard and Kary, come up here for the most important round of the game!
(Red Wizard and Kary walk up to buzzers at front)
Double L: Everybody ready? One-hundred people surveyed top four answers on the board…name a person, real or fictional, with "Madame" in her name.
Kary: Curie!
Double L: Yes, Madame Curie second with twenty-one answers! Pass or play?
Kary: Actually, I think we'll pass this one.
Double L: (Walking toward Light Warriors) Black Wizard, a real or fictional person with "Madame" in her name.
Black Wizard: …
Double L: First strike! Knight!
Knight: …
Double L: Second strike! Master, it's up to you!
Master: …
Double L: That's your third strike. Final Fantasy bosses with a chance to steal.
Chaos: Madame…madame…
Double L: Five seconds.
Chaos: …
Double L: Time's up! The Light Warriors win the round and…and…they tie, yes tie, the score at 139! Looks like nobody's going to play Fast Money! Well, we have to settle this some way…yes! I have it! Your teams will battle to the death! Haha!
Chaos: But I don't want to die again! Wah! My timeloop!
Light Warriors: DIE!!!
(Each of the five Light Warriors picks a target and beats it to death)
Light Warriors: (Dancing around) Hooray! We leveled up!
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