Saturday
11/21/98
god, i'm bad. i haven't updatedin twenty days. oh well. finally earned free reign over the computer once again. i'll try to update as oft as i can.
now i am faced with the dilema of what to write about. what to write about... well, how about what's on my mind, for the loss of anything else.
i hate school. i hate the system they've tried to shove us all into and through. i hate the standards and non-standards and expectations they set on us. i hate having to deal with the people. to look around and see all of those stupid people who quit going to school quite a while ago. they come, but they quit going, if anyone can understand what i mean.
there's this rage in me. there's something horrible and cruel. i hate them and pick them apart and psychoanalyze everything they do. very recently i realized why.
i'm jealous. i'm insanely jealous of their spunk and their life. they fight all the time, have the brainpower to do little else, worry about nothing but looking cool, being a gangsta or getting high, and their ugly, bitchy girlfriends. but they have fun. their kids. and i'm not.
this came to me in a revelation during group therapy. the other two girls blinked at me while i rambled in the extavigant language i've adopted for such things. one later went on to say that i think i'm better than everyone else adn i need to loosen up.
am i like this or do they not understand? i wonder.
i wonder about a lot of things.
yes, i will try to update more often. i promise.
- fallen
previous thoughts of the day
Monday, 11/21/98
Tuesday, 10/13/98
Monday, 10/12/98
Sunday, 10/4/98
Friday, 10/2/98
Monday, 9/28/98
Sunday, 9/27/98
Saturday, 9/26/98
Friday, 9/25/98
Thursday, 9/24/98
Monday, 9/21/98
Saturday, 9/19/98
Friday, 9/18/98
Wednesday, 9/16/98
Monday, 9/14/98
Sunday, 9/13/98
Thursday, 9/10/98
Wednesday, 9/9/98
Monday, 9/7/98
Sunday, 9/6/98
Thursday, 9/3/98
Wednesday, 9/2/98
Saturday, 8/30/98
Thursday, 8/28/98
Wednesday, 8/27/98
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