FRONT PAGE ARCHIVES

A place for those things which used to be on the front page of Absolute Truth.

SNORGLAK, a creation of Mark Boone's. Read to seek Snorglak's opinions on such things as certain Denison chapels and the plot to destroy DBU.

HEAD SNIPE

Why is it that so many people are not seething with rage at chapel, SWAT week, and Foundations? Why on earth are there so many who aren't even bothered by it? Ha ha, some of them are fools, they take no insult because they have no pride! But many actually ENJOYED these atrocities and got something out of them! How on earth!

The usual response is, "Well, you can't just please the smartest and the most mature, you have to please everyone" (as if you were supposed to please only the uneducated and the immature). How many times have I thought of this and refuted it in my head? Too many to count!

But it does make me think: one of my refutations is that these things are addressed, not to the youngest and least spiritual and least mature and (frankly) DUMBEST of us, but to EVEN LOWER THAN THAT. I've never met a DBU student who wasn't smart enough to know more than chapel (if they bothered) or perfectly capable of being led somewhere worthwhile (if the spiritual leadership tried to lead us anywhere; thank God Almighty for the exception that are our simply WONDERFUL professors).

So I ask myself, if everyone is being insulted (not just me), why am I the only one so offended? (Besides the fact that some are and I just don't know it, and the fact that others are and just don't take it too seriously.) Why do I so often seem to be the only one still seething with rage?

Well, let's play devil's advocate and we get a lovely possible answer. You people that think you've caught me and proven me wrong, realized that because I'm the only one who feels this way I'm unique, I was unique in my needs when I was put through SWAT week and Foundations and continue to be plagued by chapel ...

Don't be hasty, young Shirelings. You can't catch Snipes with such phosphorescent pillow-cases (the skilled Snipe-hunters use pillow-cases made up of arguments whose flaws do not glow in the dark).

Here's the deal: if I'm unique it was only because I was more able to recognize the insult when it came. No human being older than high school deserves to be treated like this. You people who haven't been offended: you didn't deserve it either! Don't even think about suggesting that I'm smarter than you or more spiritually mature than you because I was the only one so insulted and so deeply offended! (though there those are so unattuned to the Great Paradox that you think I'm not nice and therefore not mature.) I just noticed when we were all being insulted. It explains at least as much as the absurd theory that some-people-needed-it-and-I-didn't. It might even explain more: if you're really being kept in such dire intellectual and spiritual infancy ... of course you wouldn't be aware of it.

Forgive my harsh language, young Snipes. I'm enraged, as most of you should know by now. And it's not like I ever said I wasn't out of my mind. Heavens, I even said I was.

"AL ZARQUARWI AND THE MICE: A PARABLE"

Very handy link

God bless the Baptist Standard! What a nicely formatted site! The above link compares three of the different Baptist Faith and Messages.

WE'RE BEING HUNTED! (with pillowcases!)

Greetings DBU Snipe, allow me to introduce myself...my name is Snipe Hunter (dbusnipehunter@yahoo.com). As a DBU "insider" I think I can shed some light on your highly entertaining thoughts concerning Chapel and other happenings around campus. Although I am in no way seeking to "pick a fight", as it were, I am certainly up to the challenge of trading thoughts and, perhaps, the occasional battle of wits. I think you will find me to be a useful source of information and, as it were, a worthy opponent when need be. Touche' my good man. I look forward to some highly entertaining dialogue. Please feel free to post my messages if you would like.

Snipe Hunter

SNAPE HAS COME; VOLDEMORT, BEWARE

"First and foremost, I would like to introduce myself to the snipe community. I am Professor Snape, an unsavory sod who you wouldn't want to run into in a dark alley at DBU. Not that we have any alleys here, or any darkness for that matter." Snape

Dale Meinecke recently asked us during chapel to imagine what it would be like if all of DBU were really sold out for the Lord. He told us to imagine the change there would be. I suggest that the administration of DBU probably doesn't really want that (though they may not know they don't want it), unless, of course, Dale Meinecke meant we should be a bunch of sold-out dualists. But he probably doesn't mean that, since he's probably not a dualist, and we know that the administration of DBU supports Dr. Naugle. If all of DBU students were really sold out for the Lord (and weren't all dualists), we'd have a lot of controversy centered around our fine school. Let's do what Dale Meinecke suggested, shall we . . .

Any readers are welcome to submit essays with or without name, with or without pseudonym, at dbusnipe@yahoo.com. We welcome essays disagreeing with essays already posted.

SNIPE SITE SPAWNS INTERNET FREE SPEECH!!!

DBU music major(s) has (have) launched a website at www.oocities.org/dbumusic. The Williams Embassy to Lange is now the Unibaptist. It'd be great if we can find a replacement ambassador. Rumor has it the Redcoats may form a Geocities site.

DBU SWINGS 'CENTRIST'; GOD BLESS AMERICA

Not that any of us care all that much; that is, we're not offended; we care because these issues matter. But we're Americans. We can believe what we want. Doesn't mean someone's not right and someone wrong, but the only ones around saying we can't believe what we want are usually terrorists. Those losers can just shut up. But really, check out this article about Cook and the BWA, this reporting, on a subtle preference for a BGCT church over an SBTC/SBC church, and the general tendency of DBU chapels to always have just a hint of 'moderate' theology. Note that Jim Dennison, an important BGCT leader, is once again teaching classes (theology classes) for the Master of Christian Education program. Check how www.bgct.org has a prominent link to the Baptist World Alliance but no link to the Southern Baptist Convention.

That article about Dr. Cook and Dr. Kim is the real clincher. Outside of DBU people are aware of this; people at Southwestern Seminary are surprised to see DBU graduates going there because Southwestern is supposedly a 'fundamentalist' school, and they know there that DBU is somewhat to the left of that.

Not that we care. Most of the 'conservatives' I know are nice people, and most of the 'liberals,' and all of the 'moderates' and 'centrists.' We can believe what we want in America. Let's not forget that when we disagree (and especially on the nature of Scripture, that someone is usually wrong and someone right. Criswell warned that there are serious consequences.

However, if and when we have to go in separate directions in our institutions we can and must do so cordially. I suspect most conservatives and moderates agree that most moderates and conservatives are saved; though some may suspect that the liberals are not, they are still in God's hands, not yours. Furthermore, I don't see any particular reason why moderate Baptists can't have a Christian Worldview. We can, and should, cooperate on many things. A number one priority on which most BGCT and SBTC Baptist can probably agree: pro life. Also, we applaud Dr. Cook for inviting SBTC and BWA people to speak in chapel last semester, and any other diversity that was expressed in chapel last Spring.

"Developing a Christian Mind" just what we need!

(We finally set up some more commentary on Foundations! Click here!)

The Head Snipe is of the opinion that the curriculum of the adult education basic required course, along with the graduate program's course (the graudate and adult education programs' versions of "Foundations for Excellence") does a good thing when it makes students read "The Universe Next Door" by James Sire. The "Developing a Christian Mind" course is EXACTLY the sort of thing a Christian university should teach.

WHAT IS REVIVAL?

A lot of people talk about how God wants to use "this generation", or Generation Y, or today's college students or whatnot, for a major revival. The Snipe would like to point out that passion without wisdom is a bad strategy for a revival. If DBU students seek wisdom and have a great passion for God at the same time, that would be a good recipe for a revival.

ATMOSPHERE ON CAMPUS NOT CONDUCIVE TO STUDYING

Well, if you try hard you really can usually find a good, quiet place to study, but it's not always easy, especially on the weekends. The atmosphere here is just not conducive to studying. Students would rather make noise than study, and recieve little or no corrective encouragment from anyone except their professors. A huge exception is the new study rooms in the Williams and Lange lobbies.

AMERICAN COLLEGE LIFESTYLE FOOLISH AND UNHEALTHY

College students don't usually get enough exercise; worse, they eat very little that's healthy. Worse, they stay up way too late not studying though sometimes people stay up late to study. Almost no one in college gets enough sleep; why do we do this to ourselves?