Ever since the original great wolf flick THE HOWLING, the series has been all hit and miss. HOWLING II was an utter nightmare, and not in the good way, while THE HOWLING III, though interesting and bizarre, was also, well, not in a good way. After all the failures at making a new werewolf story under the HOWLING imprint, writers Freddie Rowe and Cliver Turner (the latter of which was a producer on the LAWNMOWER MAN films) along with director John Hough (who's yet to impress the God of Death with his other Hall of Judgment entries the Incubus and American Gothic) decided they'd try to instead throw together a remake of the original HOWLING, hence the subtitle, THE ORIGINAL NIGHTMARE, used here. But, when you cut down on the cast talent and the writing talent, and the amazing FX work, you don't exactly get a good remake... or sequel for that matter.

Author Mary Adams plays our heroine this time around, as she seems to be having fucked up halucinations of nuns and flaming lycanthropes every 5 minutes. Where as THE HOWLING's good girl Karen White's nightmares about werewolves were brought on by her attack and near rape by one of the monsters in an NYC porn theater, Mary's don't seem to have any real root in her personal life. Therefore, as a student of cheap horror movies with no talent writers, I'd likely have to say these visions are really omens of events to come... likely in this movie no doubt. As with the first film, Mary's doctor too decides the images are stress induced, and she just needs a nice vacation in the middle of nowhere... everyone who saw THE HOWLING can pretty much stop right now and go read my monthly editorial instead, because the rest of the film pretty much pans out parallel to Joe Dante's original work, only, as I said, minus all the talent. But, for anyone who disbelieves me and needs to read the proof of the rip-off, read on... So, Mary and her husband Richard head off to the sleepy secluded town of Drago, where they get an out-of-the-way-and-far-too-far-from-the-safety-of-civilization cabin and settle in for a 3 week "just the two of us" party. Unknown to them (but obvious to viewers like ourselves), Drago is really one of those ghost town places where werewolves or vampires flock to live normal lives outside the preying eyes and hunting rifles of "normal" people. Like I said, this is JUST like the first movie...

The retreat proves to be useless, as Marie's halucinations of flaming nuns and wolves continue. Meanwhile, since Marie's too busy "relaxing" to put out, Dick lives up to his namesake and goes cruising Drago for some frech meat. Hell, at this point the horny fuck'll settle for some slightly used meat as long as he waxes his willy! Too bad for Dick (and his "sexy" Indiana Jones hat) that he finds his solice in the local craftstore owner. Normally planting a couple suckpumps in a babe like that would be a good thing, but in a case like this (where "doggie style" can take on a literal meaning) it's not... unless you lie your woman with that more "natural" look. Back to crazy Marie, she is confronted by Jamie, an ex-nun who's come to Drago in search of clues to the death of her friend, also a penguin... no, not the flightless Arctic bird, I'm using a slang term that refers to sisters of the cloth. "A nun?" you ask? Well, this makes it official that Marie's bad dreams aren't dreams, but evil premonitions as I stated earlier... who da man? Watch horror movies twice a day everyday like I do kids, and maybe you can have a crappy website that no one goes to too! :D

Hoping to resolve these night and daymares of hers and to find out what all the recent HOWLING noises coming from the woods lately are about, Marie decides it best to team up with Janice and play "Cagney and Lacey"... as long as she gets to be Cagney. The first thing they notice is the aparent cover-up about the bell in the Drago belltower. The townsfolk seem none too eager to give up info on it's origins, especially to nosey tourist women. Looks like a job for Scooby and the gang! Gas up the Mystery Machine Fred, while Shaggy and Scoob pack the bong for another hit! And Daphne and Velma can finish up they're amateur lesbian porn while... I... drool... uhm, childhood cartoon fantasies aside, Marie and Janice decide to look a little deeper into this mysterious bell. Further female prying reveals that the bell in the tower was originally in a 16th century Romanian town known as Draga. As for the Draganians, they were all herded into their beloved belltower by residents of the neighboring village. Under the suspicion that ONE of their ranks was a werewolf, the entire populace was then burned alive... and people botch because so-called "innocents" suffer from OUR unfair justice system! As for Dick, well, his sleeping around backfires on him, as he catches an unfortunate STD from his new girlfriend, after she goes feral and takes a big bite out of his shoulder before running off into the night! Hmmm, does this count as simple infidelity or does it fall under simple beastiality? Hey, I say if it's another species it's not cheating...

After a visit from Drago's local physician, Dan begins insisting to Marie that the wound came when he "fell down a gully", and that's it's nothing more than a little scratch. Since the gash heals itself up so quickly, I guess it really is "just a scratch"... an EVIL scratch though! It's not long before Dick learns the benefits of a condom though, as in the film's only decent scene, Dick's molecular structure breaks down, causing him to literally melt into a pile of primordial ooze! From said ooze, Dick reshapes into a quadriped with far more hair than he had before... yep, the adultering husband is now one of the bad guys, in feature not just in practice. Now, with the husband in their ranks, the town of Drago decides it's finally time to take care of their intruders, as they make a rush for our heroines! But, a little quick footwork and a valiant, if not stupid, sacrifice by Janice leads to a happy ending for Marie, as she burns all the wolf people in the belltower, locking them in for a repeating of Draga. Well, it woulda been a happy ending anyway, if Marie's vision hadn't come completely full circle and she winds up attacked by a large flaming shapeshifter who leaps from the mass pyre for some last minute revenge! It all ends with an up close shot of a screaming Marie.

What can I say, HOWLING IV is alot like EVIL DEAD 2, in that it's a remake of the original, only not an exact remake. However, where as EVIL DEAD 2 had the benefit of an awesome cast and crew, along with a great FX team, HOWLING IV has no such benefits, only burdens. Sadly, the duo of Turner and Rowe would go on to script the 5th and 7th HOWLING entries, while Hough, luckily, saw the error of his ways and got out while he could. Although, I think they damage was already done, as he didn't get a whole lot of work after this anyway... unless he just died... if we are so lucky that is.

Sequels: HOWLING V: THE REBIRTH; HOWLING VI: THE FREAKS; THE HOWLING: NEW MOON RISING

If You Liked This Flick, Check Out: BAD MOON or WEREWOLVES ON WHEELS