The Thought Police

Your Thoughts Are Not Your Own

We here at the Thought Police know what a burden free will can be.  That's why we formed this society... to take that awful strain off your hands.  Once you realize the truth of our words, you will no longer be responsible for your actions.  That is the beauty of it all... and who needs free will if all it's going to do is get you into trouble? We're sure you're already thrilled at the idea of sacrificing your free will to us, but wait, there's more.  You also get to sacrifice your individuality.  You will give up you uniqueness, and become the same as everybody else.  All sources of discomfort, tension, and hostility will vanish.  You will live in a Utopian community, a heaven on Earth. It's quite simple.  All you have to do is accept our tenets and live by them.  Though they are in no ways unpleasant, they may seem unfamiliar in the beginning and take some getting used to.  This is understandable, and we'll be here the whole time to help you through. First, you must learn the golden rules...

The Golden Rules 1.  Always obey the tenets of the Thought Police. 2.  Always follow the laws of our nation. 3.  Should someone be found breaking these laws, report them immediately to the Thought Police. 4.  Under no circumstances shall you create, reproduce, or distribute anything that may be found to be offensive or unsettling.

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Dishonor Becomes Them

These pages are all perfect examples of how you shouldn't think.  Let this be a warning to you, and learn by their mistakes. Be assured that they will be dealt with as soon as their purpose is done.

The Rabid Aardvark - This supposed Aardvark is stirring up trouble with his incessant whining about his life.  See how dissent leads to unhappiness? The Inconceivable Times - All tabloid newspapers spread paranoia and distrust of government, but this is the most dangerous one there is. White Wolf Games - They might deny it, but by spreading demonic games like Vampire: the Masquerade they corrupt young minds. They should water down their material like Wizards of the Coast watered down Dungeons and Dragons. WWWF Grudge Match - This site encourages violence for its own sake, and it openly mocks celebrities, trying to make them unhappy. The Battle for Sanity - The writer of this site ridicules his educators, not realizing that no matter how stupid they appear, they are serving a purpose within society by teaching skill needed for conformity.  He should at least be comforted to know that soon enough the people in question will be sent to camps as part of the genetic purity project.