Wednesday 20th November

We have a full house. Tess had a friend from Tasmania staying and Conchita is still here. I love having visitors. It takes my mind off being in Byron which is of course a beautiful place, but still not where I want to be. I'd rather be somewhere bustling, exciting and alive, even if it was dirty and not so beautiful. Perhaps I need more time, but how much more time could I possibly need? What if it gets no better?

The newspapers continue to be alarmist. They make it sound as though we are about to bombed and blown up at any minute. I can't believe that they are allowed to print some of their emotive speculations and opinions. The scary part is that it can easily become self-fulfilling. Build up enough hatred against a group in society and then people will start to believe that they have to launch an attack.

We watched an unusual video titled 'The legend of 1900' about a man who had been born on a luxury liner in the year 1900. He became a brilliant pianist but never once left the ship as he felt that the world was too big a boat for him. I don't think that it was a true story but it was certainly different. One really optimistic line that came out of it was 'you're never really done for if you have a story and someone to tell it to'. I think that I'll quote that as my own new motto.

Tuesday 19th November

I am so much fitter now as I have been going for hour long walks along the beach on an almost daily basis. So much so, that when I was in Byron doing some billpaying I was surprised to notice a spring in my step. I felt energetic and it was all so easy whereas a month ago I would drag myself from one place to the next. I had found it all really difficult then.

I was surprised to find my letter to 'the Echo', the local free newspaper, had been published. I had almost forgotten about it. Needless to say my letter to 'the Australian' newspaper hadn't appeared. This once left-wing newspaper is now so keen on building up anti-Muslim hysteria that any letter that suggests that not all Muslims are evil can expect to be sidelined. We can't have people doubting the Americans and their role in the universe, now can we? Not when one-third of the world's trade revolves around them. I suspect that priorities are not where they should be.

Yana had a strange day at work and is not sure what is happening there at all. Whatever it is, he is finding it very unsettling. He did a stint which was only just three hours long, came home and then as he walked in the door was asked to go back again. Hendri had an itch of some sort. Surely he had noticed the itch fifteen minutes earlier so that Yana could simply have been asked to stay on. I was not impressed as I then had to return to Byron as well. Yana, as yet, has not managed to pass the driving test and so is dependent on me accompanying him.

Monday 18th November

International schools in Jakarta have closed for the interim. I am not sure whether they have received specific threats or are responding to the general warnings that the American and Australian embassies have given out. I hope that it isn't the latter as the ramifications of longer term closures are huge. There is even talk of Indonesia becoming an 'unaccompanied posting'. Families would have to be left behind. My friends in international schools may find themselves with limited work prospects and the Indonesian economy would be affected as well. What about all the Indonesians who work as cooks, cleaners and drivers or the expatriates? The numbers of unemployed would swell and I gather they are rising as it is.

From the worries of the world I then retreated to my hedonistic lifestyle. I donned a bathing suit and decided to test the cold waters that had, as yet, not passed my knees. After a few minutes the cold was not so cold. In fact it was pleasantly refreshing. I didn't want to get my wig wet so I could only submerge myself to my shoulders and then do so quickly in between waves. I must have looked a right sight. It is so easy to forget that there is a world of conflict and suffering out beyond the waters. I do feel guilty about this.

Conchita is a good cook and has been presenting us with superb dishes on a regular basis. I have not complained at all. I still find it extraordinarily difficult to be inspired about cooking. Even my tastes vary from week to week. What I liked a month ago I can't even visualise now without feeling slightly sick. Needless to say I haven't touched macaroni cheese drowned in tomato sauce for some time now.

Sunday 17th November

Conchita and I left the boys to their music at the Broken Head Hall and we made our way down to Broken Head. It was a magnificent morning and there were people enjoying the sun, children paddling in shallow pools and dogs rushing about. We sat on a rock near the water and watched the surfers trying to catch a good wave. When we arrived there were about forty little black wetsuits out on the water but more suits kept coming. They arrived in dribs and drabs. Sometimes alone, sometimes in groups of two or three. I was amazed at the variety of people. There were lots of middleaged men, thickset and their hair receding. The younger men were of all shapes and sizes. Very few had long hair and so did not look like your stereotypical surfer.

The Australian lifestyle is not an unpleasant one and certainly not here in Byron. People can be seen walking along the beach, sometimes with dogs in tow. Outdoor pursuits and activities of all sorts are very popular. The climate is good and fine days are virtually assured on a daily basis. Mind you it is dangerously dry now and we could well pay for the superb sunshine at a later stage. We have access to an amazing variety of food and can even choose whether it is affected by chemicals or preservatives or not. No wonder people like to come to Australia. .

The youth of Japan seem to be especially enthusiastic about Australia. They love the surf, often buy cars and stay for long periods of time. I suppose it is less crowded than Japan and they can experience a different sort of freedom here. The pressures of family and achievement must seem far away. Even the weather is much better.

Saturday 16th November

It was a cool, cloudy morning with some moisture in the air. We had started the day in a leisurely fashion because Efic, Emma and Miko, another Indonesian, had spent the night. I had missed their arrival as sleep had been my main mission after having finally secured a front door key from Tess. I had cleverly left home the night before without my door keys. Yana had no key at all as he always relied on mine. So there I was, standing outside Tess' window, at midnight, whispering her name until it was obvious that she wasn't home. Next stop was Sam's house where we did manage to track her down. I was so relieved that she hadn't decided to go out on the town!

The newspapers were full of Osama bin Laden. Apparently he was back when silly me had thought that he had never gone. I was somewhat irritated by the use of highly emotive language in one article in the weekend Australian. It was quite extreme and clearly intended to strike terror in the mind of the reader. Again I feared for ordinary, non-fanatic, peaceloving Muslims, of which there are many millions the world over.

Friday 15th November

While in hospital being drained, I watched Oprah, a television program I don't normally watch. The major story was about the Nigerian woman who will be stoned to death once her illegitimate baby is weaned. It is a horrendous story and is particularly frustrating in that the father denied paternity and was believed. A DNA test would be very useful in such circumstances but may be a little expensive for a third world country. It was followed up by stories of Pakistani women being abused or murdered in honour killings by their menfolk. I did grimace at the timing of this program as anti-Muslim feelings are pretty high at present anyway but the two or three nurses who entered my room and spent some minutes watching all commented on the barbaric cultures concerned and were able to distinguish this aspect from religion. I was pleasantly surprised.

In the evening Conchita and I went to the 'Byron loves Bali' night at the local surf club. This fundraiser was quite well attended and had a varied program ranging from gamelan music to western rock music. There was even a western woman who did a very creditable Indonesian dance routine. The night was marred somewhat by a lot of technical problems and this did make things look very amateurish. We were all there to raise money for the Balinese victims in the Kuta bombing and hence were most sympathetic but a significant amount of people left before the night ended.

On the way home there were irritatingly bright lights in our rear vision mirror which we thought were coming from some ignorant person who had their lights on high beam. Then a siren wailed. Yana was obviously being asked to pull over. I suppose there generally aren't a lot of learner drivers out and about with their 'L' plates around midnight. Both of us were asked to blow into a breathalyser. Perhaps the policeman suspected me, the 'supervisor', of being drunk and hence asking a learner take control of the wheel. He certainly seemed surprised when my reading revealed no alcohol. We continued our way only to be pulled up by the same policeman a second time. He recognised us this time and waved us on.

Thursday 14th November

I have been in a rather decadent mood some mornings and have bought fresh breadrolls for breakfast. The bakery with all its freshly baked delights is only a short walk away. While in the vicinity I have started to buy the Australian newspaper as there have been big stories emerging over the smiling Bali bomber. I was instantly reminded of Martin Bryant's inappropriate responses in a Tasmananian court some years ago after he had murdered more than thirty people. Yana's sister in Bandung had commented on the strange behaviour in a telephone conversation the other evening. She was most confused about it all as I imagine most Indonesians are. Alexander Downer's comment that 'these people are blood thirsty .....' did upset me somewhat as I wasn't sure who he was referring to. Indonesians? Muslims? Or was it terrorists? He must be more specific in future because it can lead to unnecessary misunderstandings.

Living in Suffolk Park has its advantages. I discovered that the doctor's surgery is only about two minutes walk away from our house. I had to organise the paperwork for tomorrow's draining and also wanted to have my hearing checked. I am quite deaf at times, if not all the time, and wanted to know whether the chemotherapy has damaged my hearing or whether I had wax in my ears. As it turned out I had wax in my deaf ear, because I always known that I am slightly deaf, and none in my good ear. I had been hoping that it was the other way round. So it would seem that there has been some further damage.

Byron Bay is starting to liven up at night. The buskers, generally a few guitarists, the inevitable hand drummers who are so popular here and the odd didgeridoo player, are out and about. The street sellers are also emerging. There is even a sandcastle maker who builds the most ornate constructions with turrets and sculptured animals. He lights candles and places them in windows within the structure so that they glow once the sun goes down. The effect is stunning. Apparently he lives from his 'busking'. There are also two girls dressed in pink tutus and white bras who do acrobatic gymnastics outside the Great Northern hotel. They can be seen most afternoons.

Wednesday 13th November

I was going through a very philosophical bent and was trying to grasp why people seem to be overwhelmed by the differences between religions rather than the similarities. After all, the basic behavioural tenets are all the same, whatever the religion. Stealing, murder, greed and so forth are all viewed as inappropriate. I mentioned this to Conchita and Yana and this lead to a very passionate discussion for the next few hours. It would seem that people are very protective of their religion and consider the beliefs of other people to be foolish or backward. Similarly the average person generally has very little interest in understanding another person's religion. Misinformation then abounds.

Sometimes I feel quite concerned about the role of the media in our society. Journalists have a vested interest in the continuation of wars and big issues. This has major implications. For example, the Christian/Muslim conflict which seems to be building up to a climax, may not be reined in because the story sells papers. Whatever would the journalists write about if people started to be more tolerant and understanding towards each other? Then again, most people are basically flawed, me included, and I suppose this will never happen anyhow. Or could it?

Australia has been upset by the release of the Japanese's government's caution against travelling to Australia. They were genuinely surprised. Now they may understand how Indonesia feels. It doesn't hurt to experience the same things that you are dishing out to others. In fact it is quite a lesson. Unfortunately there are a few other lessons that Australia needs to learn as well. I am now starting to feel strongly that following America is going to endanger all of us. John Howard announced on television that Australia was not going to be intimidated by the comments contained within the latest audiotape that was reputedly from Osama bin Laden. I wish that his response had been more circumspect.

Tuesday 12th November

Conchita's plane from Bali was virtually empty. Obviously if this trend continues Garuda will have to stop some of its flights to and from Australia. Such a shame. She also noticed that the Australian immigration and customs people treated Asians and Europeans differently. It was not that they were rude to the Asians, it was rather that there was an element of impatience in their voice. The questions were more probing and the tone was not the same. I still feel that this is not acceptable particularly when the largest proportion of people who overstay their visa actually hail from the UK. Are we to take it that this is alright?

It is lovely having visitors because then I can see Byron Bay through the eyes of another. I really do need fresh input because I am not coping well with being in Australia. Conchita finds it all very spacious here, things are spread out and there are big gardens and tracts of land. Holland is obviously a lot more compact. Everyone is so informal around here, they stroll around in shorts and flip-flops, but then again it would be quite different in Melbourne. Byron Bay is a holiday town so you can hardly expect people to wander about in suits!

We are taking regular strolls along the beach. Every day it is different, as the colour of the water varies and so does the size of the waves. The air is unpolluted and comes across a wide expanse of ocean before it reaches us. Tallow beach, to be honest, is quite spectacular, it extends for quite some distance, all the way from the headland with the lighthouse right down to Broken Head some kilometres away. Conchita is most impressed and I suppose I should be too.

Monday 11th November

Yana barely slept at all as he wanted to make sure that we didn't oversleep. I did sleep a little but still woke up at four which was a good time to make a move. It is amazing how the body clock can be so accurate. We had overnighted at Scarborough, at Efic and Emma's house. We had arrived at a fairly late hour as we had experienced considerable trouble making our way through Brisbane. I was exhausted and just got very confused. Once it is dark it is so hard to find your way. Everything looked so different. I wished that we had spent the night at Cleveland, at my brother's house. It would have been a lot easier.

It was lovely to see Scarborough and Redcliffe in daylight. Efic and Emma lived across from the water and had a magnificent view out across the bay. At four forty-five in the morning everything was very quiet. Mind you, everything had been fairly deserted at nine o'clock the previous evening as well. We had no trouble finding the airport and settled down to a welcome cup of tea. We positioned ourselves where we thought that we had a good view of the arrival doors. It was a lovely compromise. Sitting down in comfort but still waiting. You can imagine our surprise when we were confronted with Conchita standing to the side of us. We had completely missed her and she had done a complete circuit of the arrivals lounge before spotting us! Very embarrassing.

Yana started to drive back while Conchita and I talked nonstop. I wasn't concentrating on the navigating and so we made a few more mistakes before we finally found the appropriate road. After an hour or so it was apparent that Yana was very tired and not really fit to continue. We stopped on the Gold Coast for a tea and Yana ordered fried noodles. I had told him that he would not be able to get them at eight in the morning but I was wrong. He was very happy to settle down to a plate of what he really felt like eating. I continued driving from then on. We were home before midday and so could unwind at leisure. The rest of the day continued in a similar pattern with cups of tea, chats and a nice meal with Tessie and Michael at the Suffolk Pub. My eyes were on stalks but I still went to bed well after midnight. It is hard to stop when you are having fun.

Sunday 10th November

Later today we will start heading off to Brisbane. I am not sure where we will spend the night but I'm sure that we will make some decisions once we get closer to our destination. We could treat ourselves to a hotel but I am reluctant to do so when we will have to check out at five in the morning. Having a leisurely morning is part of the pleasure of a nice hotel experience. Yana and I have had few opportunities to go anywhere or do anything special as he works six days a week and then on Sundays he is usually committed to help run the radio program. A treat may not go amiss.

Yana was quite intrigued by the discovery that flies abound in Australia, irritatingly so, even though it is such a clean country. You can leave a door open for five minutes and regret your foolishness for the rest of the day. Indonesia is a dirty country and yet there are no flies. Windows are unscreened and can be open all day with no consequences. Strange really.

I was reading in the Jakarta Post that the Bali Administration, Bali Tourism and Garuda have joined together to offer a return flight plus two days free accommodation to two relatives of the victims (dead or alive) for November 15th when a special sermon will be held. There will be prayers for the souls of the deceased and the bomb site will be cleansed from evil spirits. The Balinese are doing their level best to bring peace back to Bali. I am not sure that the Australian people fully appreciate the impact that the bombing has had on Bali. The Balinese are simply devastated. Latest travel warnings have only deepened the hurt.

Saturday 9th November

Mango season has arrived! Hooray. They would have to be my favourite fruit. I am so pleased that I have access here to all the wonderful tropical fruit that I loved so much in Indonesia. The only thing I can't find is red papaya, having seen nothing but the yellow variety. Indonesians calls this fruit, 'bird papaya', as they feed it to birds. Quite rightly too as it has such a revolting taste.

I was not feeling so sprightly today. I have been pushing myself of late, and haven't even given myself a mid-afternoon nap. I have been writing regularly, doing a spot of yoga, walking to the beach, updating my journal and unpacking. I haven't really stopped. It was bound to catch up with me. The odd thing is that by midafternoon I had caught up with myself and then as it turned out I didn't get to bed until about two! Emma and Efic spent the night so the two guys played music for hours. Efic is a renowned kecapi player (the Indonesian autoharp) and so was producing some amazing stuff while Emma and I just chatted.

Yana's mate had sent him a concerned email from Indonesia. He wanted to check that all was well. The Indonesian media was saying that Australia was not a good place for their people to be. I must read the local Bandung paper, the Pikiran Rakyat, which is available online, just to check the commentary. It could be rather interesting. I have been reading my old newspaper, the Jakarta Post again recently. For the first few months that I was back in Australia I felt too homesick to go anywhere near it. Now I can cope again, mainly because I have convinced myself that I live in an Indonesian outpost, just six hours from my favourite country. In fact I could fly to Jakarta quicker than I could go by bus to Pangandaran.

Friday 8th November

One of my best friends, Conchita, a Dutchwoman, is coming to Australia to visit us on Monday morning at 5:30. She is presently running an English school for Balinese children in Bali and will leave Denpasar late on Sunday evening. We last met about a year ago in Indonesia, and she was present for our wedding. I am so excited at the prospect of getting together again. It is nice to receive email with such positive news. What is even better is that I will only have to wait a few days.

Ramadhan, the fasting month has started in Indonesia and the rest of the Muslim world. Yana sounded a little disappointed when he realised that he was going to miss out. Westerners may find it hard to understand that people can enjoy fasting, but it is the social aspects that make the month a special one. Getting together with family and friends every evening to break the fast can become the highlight of the day. It is also a reflective time when people think about their behaviour. A very noteworthy practice for anyone, irrespective of religion.

I have no idea why the Australian government feels that the start of Ramadhan is going to make Indonesia more dangerous for Australians. They feel so strongly about this that they have upgraded their travel warnings. They obviously have never experienced the fasting month. In reality it is actually a quiet four weeks when the pace of life quietens down considerably. If anything, people are sometimes quite lethargic and tired, particularly as they are adapting to getting up at three in the morning to cook their breakfast. Anyhow, think about it, people are hardly going to race about in a tropical country when they are not allowed to drink between sunrise and sunset!

Indonesia was very annoyed at Australia's announcement and is now considering how to respond. Warning people not to come to Indonesia can actually cause the ill-feeling that the Australian Government is predicting. It becomes a selfulfilling prophecy. Can't this be seen? Megawati, a woman of few words, wisely warned Australia not to over-react to the terrorism threat. Very appropriate advice.

Thursday 7th November

Yana and I walked down to the beach at around nine. The water was a pale mint colour not unlike the walls of our new home. The waves were small but looked strong and I was anxious for Yana. He is still a rarity in that most people from Bandung cannot swim at all and when they go to the seaside there are often numerous drownings. Mind you, the south coast of Java is particularly notorious for its rips. Fortunately he didn't go out too far and he did have Tess's bodyboard to help. He seemed to enjoy himself immensely whereas I preferred to paddle in the shallows.

Malcolm Martin, in saturday's Sydney Morning Herald, said that Indonesesian Muslims should stop bleating and be glad that they still have their freedom. After Pearl Harbour all citizens of Japanese origin were rounded up and interned for the duration, even those who were 3rd and 4th generation Americans. What a comment! Just because it was done fifty years ago doesn't necessarily make it right. I find it scary that there are people like him still wandering freely around in the streets. And he worries about Indonesian Muslims! Indonesians were killed in Bali as well. Some people seem to have lost their perspective. Perhaps Mahathir, the Malaysian leader, was correct when he said that Australia was a dangerous place for Muslims.

The Balinese people seem to have a much saner approach to the present situation. A collection of village councils got to together and as a result of their combined efforts a speech was delivered at a press conference for Indonesian media. It focused on the following concepts. 'Why seek retribution from people who are acting as they see fit?..... We would like to send a message to the world - embrace this misunderstanding between our brothers and let's seek a peaceful answer to the problems which bring us to such tragedy..... Do not bring malice to the world. It will not bring back our dead. ....If we hate our brothers and sisters we are lost.'

Wednesday 6th November

My little nephew, Ricky, will be one year old today. He is probably mobile now and may even be able to speak a few words. I wish I knew. When Yana calls home to Indonesia he tends to be concerned with other matters. I am very disappointed that I have missed out on his first year. I gather he is a delectable young fellow.

It will be a few days before everything is really organised but a fair start was made. The unit has many more cupboards than our other house and this has given us the opportunity to put things away rather than stacking them along window ledges. Much tidier too. We have a big adjoining garage with a very clean green floor which will never be graced by the presence of a car if Yana gets his way. He wants to use it as his studio where he can play music. It certainly is a nice usable bit of space that makes everything seem less crowded. All in all it seems that both my fellow house mates are starting to see the positive side of this new flat.

Suffolk Park is only about seven or eight kilometres south of Byron Bay. I have always enjoyed the drive, which only takes minutes, because there are some superb gardens en route. They never fail to remind me of the suburbs of Harare where the white Zimbabweans used to live so comfortably a few years ago. I can't vouch for how it looks now because that poor country has been having such a torrid time of late and anyone who can leave seems to have chosen to do so. My ex brother and sister in-law have not been so lucky, unfortunately.

Towards the end of the day I walked down to the beach. Within five minutes I was there. I thought back to my childhood years when my family would go to Bridport in northeastern Tasmania for two weeks holiday. Fancy actually living permanently in a holiday place!

Tuesday 5th November

Melbourne Cup day and our anniversary, plus moving day, all on the same day. Not a very smart use of special days. It was never going to be easy as no one had really prepared for going. Then it was made worse when we were told that the new tenants wanted to move in that afternoon! We did the best we could, piling things totally unwrapped into the car and actually getting away with it. Nothing was broken but there was an awful lot of stuff to move. A number of car trips was needed. Odd really as I thought we owned nothing but two matresses, a fridge, a washing machine and a sofa but somehow there were boxes of other stuff. Perhaps it was Yana's purchases from garage sales! Then we had to turn around and clean. Physically I wasn't up to it but had to keep going anyhow. It was exhausting.

Yana had to work at three o'clock which was virtually the starting time for the Melbourne Cup so I was unable to watch the race with him. I tried to explain how Australia came to a halt and that it was a really huge event. Melbournites in particular take the race very seriously and some people had arrived at the racecourse at an extremely early hour to ensure that they had a prime position. Through television he was able to catch a glimpse of the fancy clothes and hats and all the wining and dining. I am not sure whether he was overly impressed or not.

The new flat seemed small at first and then it started to appeal. It had nice pale mint green walls and proper curtains. Our previous abode had been lacking in the latter. Even the finish of the unit was much better than our first home which had been built very badly. The ultimate bonus was the peace and quiet that surrounded our new home. We would no longer have to contend with the roar of passing traffic. In fact I could actually hear the sea. Things were starting to look very good.

I had barely eaten or drunk anything all day so that when everything had finally been moved and we had passed the cleanliness inspection I was ravenous. We all deserved a treat and so we walked to the Suffolk Park pub for one of their superb meals. I even had a few celebratory glasses of beer. I had given up alcohol some time ago but have allowed myself the odd beer recently. I can't justify it but I simply enjoy it and have decided that it won't hurt. I sometimes make the rules as I go!

Monday 4th November

I was still feeling very irritable and grumpy. We hadn't even started packing but I didn't feel like making a start. I suppose the problem is that I am actually feeling a whole lot better at present and this always makes me restless. I then wonder whether I should be doing something more with my time. When I am unwell I just want to sleep. When I am better time hangs heavy on my hands as I seem to have very few goals and plans. Perhaps I should try to emulate some of my friends. Take Patsy in Tasmania for example, she looks after orphaned wild animals. Not that I intend to start inviting injured magpies and motherless wallabies into my courtyard but you know what I mean, she at least has something meaningful to do.

Yana and Hendra had taken the car to Mullumbimby to a recording studio session and so I had to walk into town in the afternoon in order to sign the new tenancy arrangement. I coped surprisingly well but made sure that I didn't have to walk back. I intend to get fit but I intend to do so gradually.

Yana and I, together with Tess and Michael, went out to Hog's Breath Cafe for a celebratory meal in the evening. Sammie was working and so, unfortunately, was unable to join us. The cause for celebration? Yana and I were married on the fifth of November last year, so it was time to ponder in amazement that we had both survived. We both deserve a pat on our backs. Yana wasn't fully concentrating however, and as soon as it was over, he hailed Hendra and they went off to Mullumbimby for another attempt at recording their music. Apparently the morning's efforts had not been up to scratch!

Sunday 3rd November

Byron Bay Market Day. There was no music making today so Yana suggested we go to the market. It was a magnificent day and I could see no reason as to why we shouldn't make a pleasant morning of it. We headed off in the car and then the fun began. Parking is not easy to find on marketday and in the past we have parked near the shops and walked over through the railway crossing. This has worked perfectly well and was quite stress free. Yana, however, has an aversion to walking and would rather drive for hours searching for a spot rather than walk an extra metre. Today was no exception and not only that, he was more than keen to park his car in all sorts of places where it would have blocked numerous other cars or major exits. It was not good for my nerves and I am a patient person. Eventually he did return to our old trusted parking area and I pointed out two parking places to him which he then promptly drove past. When he ultimately came back to them they had been long taken. We then continued driving round and round for well over an other half hour. I was at the point where I had long lost interest in the market altogether and it was only sheer apathy that stopped me from getting out of the car and walking home. Why marry a smart woman when you are not going to listen to her? What a waste.

Yana had to prepare for the community radio program although he managed to hijack a lesson on his new kecapi from Epic, the Indonesian guest musician, before the latter returned to Brisbane. Judy had prepared some information for the session and I had to brief Yana. Apparently, since Thursday there have been unofficial, unidentified raids on Indonesian homes and five mosques. I know little in the way of details but it would seem that anti-Muslim sentiments are high at present and I am angry at the role the media has played in condoning this. Where has tolerance gone?

I should be starting to pack up my belongings but am rather out of sorts at present. I just don't feel in the right mood. We do have somewhere to move to now although it is not where I would have liked to have gone. Again I had made a decision only to find out that I was too late. At that point I was prepared to give up altogether and check oout caravan parks but Yana wanted to take the tiny unit in Brandon St, Suffolk Park. I had basically lost all interest but did follow my husband's advice. After all I had survived five months on a thirty foot boat so three months in a smallish unit should be a breeze. Just think of all the floor area I won't have to clean!

Saturday 2nd November

For the first day for a long, long time I think I woke up feeling better than Yana. He has had a very busy time recently making music with his mates and started the day off with a very definite hangover. Not surprisingly enough not one mention of garage sales crossed his lips. Just as well as there wasn't a great number about.

Tess was telling me that they had talked of bomb drills at her place of work, the Beach Hotel. It is one of the most popular pubs in Australia with a huge daily turnover. If one was talking of a good terrorist target and our leaders seem to be doing this, then this place would be a logical one. Tess is simply highly relieved that she will not have to work on Melbourne Cup Day on Tuesday, as it is all starting to be a little too frightening for her. What are we doing to this country if people start to fear such simple things as going to work? Well done Australia!

Yana's mates, the Indonesian twins, live life in the fast lane. Their habits keep them constantly in trouble, despite the fact that they have access to many more work hours than Yana. So I was not impressed when one arrived at our doorstep with a traditional Indonesian autoharp called a kecapi. Just the thing that Yana needs! Good friend that he is, he purchased it without a moment's hesiatation. It is, apparently, what one does for one's friends. It is irrelevant if one needs this instrument or not. I only hope that they will be equally good friends to him if he needs it.

Friday 1st November

Nasty events have been happening across Australia as ASIO conducted dawn raids throughout the major capital cities. Heavily armed men wearing masks crashed their way in to number of Indonesian Muslim households. In some cases there were young children present and strong armed tactics were used to overwhelm the residents. John Howard denied that Indonesian Muslim households were targetted. Needless to say only Indonesian Muslim homes were entered. Then again our earstwhile prime minister is very good at denying real events and expecting people to believe him. It is beginning to become a very bad habit. The sad thing thing is that there are people around who believe him! Should I be starting to expect a crash through our sliding windows at five in the morning?

Aren't ASIO clever enough to find the front door? At dawn you wouldn't expect a lot of resistance. The aggression is highly embarrassing and has affected relations with Indonesia. I know that country is not wonderful on human rights themselves but they are correct when they say that Indonesian Muslims in Australian have had their rights violated. Then again John Howard is so busy emulating George Bush that he has forgotten that Australia does not quite have the clout that he think it does. It still is only a largely an empty continent with a mere handful of people. Has anyone thought of the implications of such heavy handed tactics? It would seem not.

Yana received an email from an Indonesian mate in Germany who asked how he was coping with the 'sweeping' of Indonesians in Australia. Sweeping was a concept that came up in the Indonesia news last year in relation to the cleaning up of westerners. Nothing came of it then as the unrest settled quickly but I was amused on this occasion to hear of this fellow's perception of Australia as being an unfriendly outpost. I wonder what sort of images are being presented on German television.

marionecp@hotmail.com