Irina sent us her thoughts on this topic:
I have always loved ping-pong and instinctively felt that I would like big tennis. When the idea was born to teach my son tennis, I figured that if I learn along with him, he would have someone to practice with. So, I signed up for tennis lessons. I loved it from the first try and realized that it was indeed similar to my beloved ping-pong except it required more physical endurance. I enjoyed the exchange of the ball, the feeling it gave me when I was able to send the ball forth and when my partner was able to return it. It felt like a pure energy exchange, as if it was not a physical object flying across the net, but a ball of energy sent back and forth between the Souls of the players. This exchange gave me joy and joy brought success. All was fine until one day I got an urge to join a tennis league. Here, it was not about joy but about sheer competition. Everyone played to win. Quickly, I realized that when I had to keep the score in a game, I would tense up and become very anxious. If the score said that I was winning, I would fear that I may spoil the next shot, if it said that I was loosing, I would become depressed and loose the desire to continue. Because of these emotions, my game suffered. I missed the shots and mostly lost the matches. After the matches, I felt a bitter aftertaste of lost opportunity. I began to fear the upcoming matches days in advance. The joy of hitting the ball was gone replaced by the worrying about hitting it right. Soon, the stress that came with the competition wore me out to such extent that I ran away from the league and from tennis altogether. For a long time, I did not want to play. Then, one day my neighbor asked me to play with him because he did not have a partner. I said that I did not play well, he responded that he did not care; he just needed someone who can hit the ball back to him. We began meeting with him on the courts. He is 80, and although he is a strong tennis player and is still in a very good physical form, his knee joints wore out and he can not run. So, he can not really play the game, he can just stand on one place and hit the balls. He hits them well. We have been playing with him for a long time now. I enjoy playing our game very much because we do not keep score. There are no winners and losers in our game, just a pure pleasure of ball exchange. Because the score is not hanging over my head any longer, I am able to completely relax when playing and it makes the energy flow freely through my body and my game improves. Also, because my head is free from worrying, I can talk to God while playing and ask for the energy I need. It is enjoyable and easy to play tennis without keeping the score. This I imagine is how my life would be if I never had to compete with anyone and others would not compete with me. |
