Lizard home for the elderly deranged.....part4!

No one really knew why the Lizard home for the elderly deranged existed.  One day it was open fields, cows mooing, birds singing and a calm in the air, the next thing anyone knew, a huge  imposing building appeared.  With annexes only the truely loopy knew about.

It was in one of these annexes that CCG finally escaped her bindings of Kimmies make up chair.  Running along the corridor, she bumped into the painted bird girl from Rio.
"Hey...cool make up!" she said to CCG.
"Yeah right!" laughed CCG.
"No really, I love those acidic colours"
Sensing a whiff of madness around her, CCG ran for her life to find some make up remover and a sane person, but little did she know!

Kimmie was momentarily put out when she turned back to her chair with some electric blue eyeshadow to see that CCG had escaped.
"Dammit, I'll get her another day" she pouted.
Gathering up her kit in a silver spangly bag, Kimmie went on the prowl.

At the front door, Greylady7609 had arrived.  Initially she kicked the post on the doormat out of the way and stepped in.  But on second thoughts she decided to see if she could perhaps have some fun with everyones mail.  Gathering it all up as best as she could, she scurried off to find herself a vacant room.  The post being expansive was hard to carry and a few pieces fell to the floor, it was only the "Blair" catalogue for CCG, no worries, she'd come back for it later, but first...to find a vacant room.

Ladyblu and JIS were in an abandoned room.  Furtively whispering between themselves, they were hatching a plot to usurp some of the more popular residents.  So wrapped up in their plans that they failed to notice Kimmie and her make up bag sneaking up on them.  Before either could protest, they found themselves strapped down.
"Now ladies" Said Kimmie beaming, "What colour are we today then?"
Before either could reply, Kimmie had already loaded her brushes with orange and lime.
LadyBlu and JIs began to scream, but no one can hear you scream in spice colours.

Kian was in her room buried  under a million sweets and wrappers.  To the untrained eye, it would seem she was binging, but a closer look would tell you she was in fact looking for something.
"Be my icon" she muttered, "Be my icon" as she frantically unwrapped another pack of "lovehearts" in her quest for the right phrase.  So wrapped up in her mission she failed to notice that she had a visitor, with a crisp grey uniform, peaked hat and dark glasses, the figure waited for her to notice him.  Meanwhile behind him in the corridor, danced a girl/boy thing doing a funny skippy dance thing.

(hehe...Kian...YOU asked for it!!)

In the kitchen there was banging and muffled shouts from the walk in cold store room.  In his quest for tuna, John opened the door hesitantly.
Out fell a very disgruntled Lady Ice.
"I suppose some people think thats funny eh?" she yelled.
"Eeeep!" said John scared.  Tuna wasn't supposed to be this scary to find.
"Just cause the name's Lady Ice, doesn't mean I have to live in there!" she shouted.
"Outta my way" she yelled at John as she stomped off to find the jokers who'd put her there.
"Tuna?" asked John plaintively as Lady Ice slammed the door behind her.

Syldath was having a whale of a time on the ceiling, so far she and Coyote had dropped half sucked sweets into nurse Amanda De Medicine Cabinets hair, sprinkled talc into Nicks hair, which made him run screaming, looking for a stylist, then honey and ants onto nurse  Tara Palmer Tetanus, which much to Syldaths delight had got the biggest scream.
However it seemed their fun would be short lived as their next victim, NicksViper, spotted them before they could do anything.
"Aha!" she exclaimed at the upside down Syldath.
"Aww, but Viper, it's only a joke!" said Syldath.
Coyote had gone remarkably quiet.
"Oh, right, so dropping green slime onto me is funny huh?"
"Um...yeah?" ventured Syldath.
Still Coyote was too quiet, his eyes now widening.  With a quick 'riiiiiiiiiiiiip' of tape, NicksViper found Coyote Shivers standing very close to her.
"Hel-llo!" he said closely, "I've got something to show you"
As he led Viper away, Syldath noticed why Coyote had been so quiet and why his allegience had changed.  From the ceiling there had been an exceptional view of Vipers cleavage.
"Typical man!" shouted Syldath. 
But then she saw Nick running wildly around looking for help.  With a quick 'riiiiiiiiiip' herself, she landed in front of him and purred..."
"I'll help you my little man"
"Ok" gulped Nick, anyone who dropped from the ceiling must surely be obeyed he reasoned.

TLM and NYC Girl had succeeded in removing Simons pants, but it was with some laughter that they noticed a saveloy sausage fall in front of them.
"Ewwwww!" they both yelled stepping back slightly.
Not to be beaten Simon cried,
"But it was just effect!"
"Ewwwww!" said TLM and NYC Girl even louder.
"It's not ALL sausage!" shouted Simon, as he stood proudly with his hands on his hips.  Looking up both TLM and NYC Girl stopped in mid 'eww' as it became 'eep!'
"It's hot in here isn't it?" gulped TLM.
"Just a bit" squeaked NYC Girl.
"See!!" said Simon proudly as he reached to lock the door.....with his thing!
But niggling at the back of NYC Girls mind was the feeling that 'Simon' didn't seem quite right.
TLM on the other hand hadn't noticed anything, her mind on one thing and one thing only!

Fairys Midwife had got really carried away with the date stamp thing.  Unfortunately she'd forgotten to change the date, so people who were being stamped today, were in fact overdue already.  Disturbingly Fairys Midwife  made them pay their fines!

Miss November Tuesday was still tidying her room when 2 figures, one clad in yellow the other in red, ran into her room.
"Help!" they panted.
"What??" asked Miss November Tuesday slightly scared.
Suddenly there was a bang as the door flew open, Andy stood in the doorway looking flushed, then he noticed Miss November Tuesday.
"Aha!" he cried, "I've found my Dipsy!"
Before she could protest, MNT was in a green suit and also running, behind Lioness and Tigress as they tried to escape Andy and his Teletubby fetish.

Georgeschick was scared, she had never met a man so hairy that he resembled carpet.  It was only pure luck that Elaine wandered past in a cloud of shampoo bubbles.  Warren being decidedly fickle, jumped up and followed Elaine.
Breathing a sigh of relief  Georgeschick  decided to go to Lilys english class (Lily had changed tack) for some relaxation.  As she went to step into the class, she bumped into someone, stepping aside to apologise she was confronted by a fat guy with panties on his head.
"Hel-lo!" smarmed Spy Matthews
"Eeep"! said Georgeschick.
"Wanna come see my photocopier?" he asked breathily.
Georgeschicks answer was to run as fast as possible back the way she'd come.
"Aww...bugger!" sniffed Spy as he started to follow her, but with an odd loping type gait.

It was with some relief that Dazzlegirls surprise guests had left, when they'd realised that there in fact no farm animals to be found.  Crevette had promised Jez some laughs with nyquil and Overnight Sensations pets.  John had gone looking for tuna and Roger had wandered off in a daze.  Now with time to think, Dazzlegirl decided to skip the letter M after the last fiasco and go on to N.
"Noo, noo, noo" she pondered, suddenly her door was flung open, again.  Standing with a huge grin on his face was Andy.
Groaning Dazzlegirl realised her foolish mistake of naming another character from the Teletubbies.  With a sigh, she put down her pencil as Andy shut the door behind himself.

Lady Xanax, had finally located her invention,the  yet to be patented, Nick catcher.  she'd been looking for it for ages.  A simple box and pulley system, with make up and an Andy Warhol book, were its 'catches', all she needed to do was locate Nick, entice him with the bits and pieces, then clip him on the line and pull him in, a perfect piece of ingenuity.  Brushing the dust from it she went in search of Nick.  unfortunately in her haste, she had forgotten to untie the blanket rope from her waist.

Lady Interference had been slightly miffed that her tete a tete with Nick had been short lived due to a talc prank by Syldath.  it was with a determined glint in her eye that she remembered Lady Xanax's invention, she knew where it was, hopefully Lady Xanax had forgotten about it.  with a spring in her step she went to get it.

Tigertiger returned to her room in a fit of giggles, her latest prank on Christine had she thought been inspired.  It was only when her giggle subdued did she notice that Warren wasn't where she'd left him.  All that remained were the chiffon scarves that had tied him to the bed.  The only clue as to where he'd gone was a discarded waxing strip...used.  You couldn't leave anything in this place these days with out someone pinching it, even if it was tied down, pouted Tigertiger.  With a tigerish growl she left her room to find what was rightfully hers.

Christine had made her way to the nurses station but there was only nurse Amanda De Medicine Cabinet, picking out half sucked sweets from her hair.  She thought of saying something, but a glare in her direction made her change her course.
It was then that she glimpsed out of the corner of her eye a flash of toned torso, it could only be Warren.  Quickly she went to follow, only slightly heeding the niggling thought at the back of her mind that if this was Warren....where'd his masses of hair come from...she thought he was bald.

After chasing the boy with the red ball for what seemed an age, Gemini Girl stopped, panting she said to the now smooth skinned Crystal Tears (It's amazing what a mud bath can do for you!)
"I'm not sure about this"
"Jeez..., you mean all that running was for nothing?" said Crystal Tears exaspereated.
"Well, what are we achieving?"
"Fitter leg muscles?" questioned CT.
"I could get them at Lilys fitness classes" said Gemini Girl.
"Nicer scenery out here though" said CT looking around
"Hmmmmm"
Just then the small boy returned,
"Hey!" he said, "What aren't you chasing me any more?"
"Couldn't be bothered" replied Gemini Girl.
"Awww..C'mon, I've been doing this for 17 years and everyone has always chased!" he pouted.
"Shoo!" said both CT and Gemini Girl, flapping their hands.
"I'll get my dad" threatened the boy.
"Yeah right!" spluttered CT.
Just then a rustling in the bushes stopped both CT and Gemini Girl from saying anymore.  As the bushes parted out stepped.....................................(hehe!! such drama!!)
The lifeguard from GOF  (Hehe!! you KNEW I had to right???)
"You messing with my boys mind?" he asked.
unable to stop looking at his naked chest they both just mumbled
"Uh-huh"
"Run along son, I saw some people who will chase you, go and find them, I'll deal with these two"
As the boy ran off happy the lifeguard turned to CT and Gemini Girl,
"Now then" he said with a smirk that looked vaguely familiar in their Simon soaked minds.
"Don't you think my thing looks big in these speedos?"
"EEEEP!" said CT and Gemin Girl in unison as they both fell over.

UK Immaculate Dream was unpacking the rest of her stuff when Roger walked into her room.
"Hello" he said.
"Um...hello"
"I hear you've got rubber sheets and all that?"
"Yeees?"
"I was wondering....?" he stammered.
"Yeeees??"
"Um....ahem.."
"YES?" UK Immauclate Iream was getting annoyed now with the quiet drummer boy, she wanted to find Simon and wrap him up in her sheets.
"Um....I was wondering.." he faltered
A stern look had him gabbling out the rest of his question.
"Ifyou'vegotrubbersheep"
"What? you know I've got rubber sheets!!" she stormed.
"No, no!" said Roger horrified holding up his hand placatingly "Sheep, I said SheeP"
"Oh why didn't you say!" she said reaching into her trunk of stuff she pulled out a black rubber sheep.
"Here you go"
Flushing red, Roger grabbed the sheep and ran out into the corridor.  It was speculated later that it might not have been an accident when Roger had run into the wildboy monster and punctured the sheep.
Crestfallen, Roger went to mourn the loss.
"Sorry mate" called the monster after him.

Charl had turned up late and she was slightly scared by all these strange goings on.  She thought she'd spied a friendly face and made her way towards an empty room. On arriving she found it was in fact her reflection...
"Well at least I look friendly" she said to herself.
"indeed!" came the reply
Startled she span round to see who'd spoken to her.
Before she fainted she had caught a glimpse of  the tall stilty character from Arena, played by Milo O Shea (but really a stuntman...sheesh...am I being too over concerned with detail here???)
"oh deary me" he said to his companion
"Can I eat it?" his companion asked.
"Of course not...hasn't that girl in the tank been enough for you?" Stilty asked
Spoilsport" mumbled the creature.
Fortunately for Charl, Warren wandered in...or was it fortunate?

Yasmin had her studio all set up, she'd persuaded Warren to pose for her and it seemed he was wrapped under a sheet waiting for her already.  Readying her easel, paints and canvas, she could hear a rustling behind her.  Warren must be getting ready she smiled, although he was being very quiet which was odd for Warren.  Maybe deep down he was shy she thought.  A sudden noise made her spin round.
"Oopsie" said her sitter, which in fact wasn't Warren.
"OHMIGOD!" yelled Yasmin as one of the zombies from the Lonely in your nightmare video picked up its dropped leg.
"Hey lady, don't sweat it" it said, "Easily replacable, look!" as it squished its leg back on.
Just then to panels of the door were broken in as zombie arms waved about reaching out.
The horror of the situation made Yasmin faint, so she was unable to hear..
"C'mon guys, why do you do that?" asked the sitter, "Much easier just to open the damn door!"
"Yeah, sorry Mitch" called one of the zombies through the door.
"Oopsie" said another.
Slapping his hand against his forehead, Mitch sighed,
"Amateurs, flippin' amateurs!"

A low grumbling started from the foundations of the Lizard home for the elderly deranged.
"this is it!" thought LK as he hid in his stationery cupboard,  Now the loonies really start to come out!

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