Lizard Home for the elderly deranged.......part 5!

Due to the huge surge in electricity in the air, the whole of the Lizard home for the elderly deranged was glowing.
LK and LQ were due to serve tea, but because of the wailings and strange people running around they chose to just shove ice cream and jelly through the hatch into the dining room.
They had thought of going out, but a screaming Laa-Laa, Po and Dipsy careering down the hall towards them had them bolting the door of their office.
"My God what is happening?" screamed LK.
"Sshh, they'll hear you" whispered LQ scared.
All they could do was wait and hope it'd all end soon, or someone sane would recue them.

Greylady 7609 was ensconced in her room.  The room was dark and candles burned, the smell of incense hung heavy in the air.  Surrounded by everyones mail, Greylady strained her eyes in the light.
"Oh, sod this!" said Greylady as she stood up to turn on the light, so much for atmosphere but she couldn't see a damn thing.
But as she flicked the switch nothing happened.  Opening the door, she saw all the lights were out.  Returning to her room, she perused what she had achieved so far.
A ransom note for Overnight Sensation supposedly from Crevette and Jez, A love letter to Shawn from CZJ, highly altered, in fact according to her letter CZJ was pregnant, now that'll scare him thought Greylady with glee.  Before she could formulate a health leaflet to get everyone to shave "everywhere" (although Warren was almost there anyway!)  her door flew open and a flash of green ran and hid behind a large wardrobe.
"Um...hello?" asked Greylady
But the green figure didn't say anything, just panted as it tried to catch its breath. Growing angry Greylady yelled,
"Hey you! Greenie, what are you doing?"
Unfortunately for Greylady the figure in green had been deeply traumatised by being chased by Andy and could only see Andy in her eyes.  With that, Miss November Tuesday launched herslef at Greylady and a tussle ensued.
It was John who walked past munching on a tuna sandwich, (finally!) who entered the room to see what the fuss was about.  Seeing the green teletubby Dipsy fighting with a hippy flowing style person was too good to miss, so pulling up a chair he sat to watch the entertainment.

Syldath had captured Nick in her room, she had already cut his fringe, although a loud bang from outside had made her jump and his fringe now looked very asymetrical, perhaps the Phil Oakey look was in again she mused.
It was as she pondering what to do after putting him into the pink and orange nylon shirt when Kimmie bounded in, her make up radar being finely tuned, she "felt" the despair emanating from Nick ten rooms away.
So it was with their great glee and Nicks screams that pink and orange became "de riguer" on Nicks face. 
"We'll make a flamingo out of him yet!" laughed Syldath as she rummaged to find a pink and orange feather boa.

Dazzlegirl was fed up.  Here she was just whiling away the days til her knight in shining armour came to take her away from this madhouse,  by finding words to rhyme with poo, when first she had been accosted by animal slash fic fans and now she was dressed in purple as Tinkywinky stood over the writhing Andy as he clasped his "mens bits" and said "Ow!" a lot.  also she was now on O and all that would rhyme with poo would be...well...oo.
"Oo oo oo" said Dazzlegirl chancing her luck. so far when she'd said any words out loud something scary happened, so far though, nothing.  Hey things were looking up.
"Oo oo oo" she said again optimistically. Still nothing
"Yes!" she said maybe she was free at last.  But no sooner had she thought that when the door was flung open and in rushed Warren dressed as John Travolta doing Elvis.
"My God!" screamed Dazzlegirl.
"Hel-lo!" winked Warren suggestively.
"I'm hallucinating Elvis!"
Momentarily stumped Warren replied
"Yeah, but you're the one in a purple padded suit"
Raising a sceptical eyebrow Dazzlegirl motioned to Warrens attire
"You were saying?" she said as she pointed at Warrens Elvis style padded purple suit.

Kian was sat in amongst the mound of sweet wrappers, just then she thought she caught a glimpse of "be my icon" but by a cruel twist of fate the lights suddenly went out.
"Noooo!" yelled Kian  as she desperately held onto the possible "be my icon" message.
After a few moments two beams of light speared into the room, shielding her eyes against the glare, Kian could see a sillouhette of a uniformed man while a dark shadow, chicken danced behind him. It was then that Kian realised what the lights were, they were car headlamps and the sillouhette was the Chauffeur.
"EEEEEP!" yelled Kian as the Chauffeur stepped forward into the room and the chicken dance girl/boy wiggled in with him.  Backing up Kian began to chant as if it'd protect her,
"Be my icon...BEGONE!, be my icon!"
But still the chauffeur advanced and as he came near to Kian he reached out....plucked the "be my icon" sweet from her hand and..................ate it.
Kians screams echoed around the home, while the girl/boy dancer flaunted her non boobies in time to the screams.

As the lights went out and screams began to reverberate around the home, the zombies in Yasmins art studio began to whimper.
"I'm scared!" wailed one from the doorway.
"sshh, if we be quiet no one will find us" whispered Mitch as he tried to hide under the sheet again.
Yasmin, just regaining consciousness looked up and said,
"You wimps!"
The zombies just whimpered at their new scary boss lady.

Lady Ice was still stomping around looking for whoever had shut her in the cold store.  there was a giggle as she walked down the hall, that must be the joker she thought, right, I'll teach you!
Picking up her pace, she followed the flash of shirt as it whipped around a corridor.  They'd run round nearly the whole house when whoever she was chasing ran into the wall that was Lioness and Tigress dressed as Laa-Laa and Po.  Wheezing the figure rolled around the floor.
"One of yours?" asked Laa-laa/Tigress.
"Yes!" exclaimed Lady Ice trying to blot out the fact that she could suddenly hera Celine Dion,
"My hearrrrt willl...goo.oooooonnnnnnn"
shaking her head she thought she might go for a lie down once she'd sorted out this joker.  Helping the figure up, Lady Ice was dismayed to see that it was Leonardo DiCaprio, he looked at her and smiled meekly.
"Oh no!, please!" said Lady Ice, raising her eyes upwards, "More ice jokes and Titanic now eh?"
Sighing and shaking her head she retired to her room.
Leonardo DiCaprio turned to Po/Lioness and said,
"Hi, you're kinda cute!"

CCG was still on the lookout for makeup remover but it seemed that Kimmie had been there before her and stolen all of them.  But with head held high, she wasn't going to let a bit of acidic makeup spoil her day,oh no!  Maybe she could convince everyone of its fashionable merits.  Just then she bumped into nurse Tara Palmer Tetanus.
"Ahh, miss ECG"
"CCG" said CCG
"Time for your electro check miss" said nurse Tara Palmer Tetanus.
"What?? I don't have that!" exclaimed CCG.
"You do now, have you not realised the implications of your name?"
"Um...no?"
"ECG = heart monitor, no?" asked nurse Tara Palmer Tetanus as she took the reluctant CCG to the electro check room.
"Ok so now this is ridiculous!" thought CCG.

TLM and NYC Girl were aghast at the Simon/lifeguard man in the room.
"You mean you're not Simon?" spluttered NYC Girl
"Maybe" he replied enigmatically.
"Well are you or not?" asked NYC Girl doggedly.
"What do you think?" he asked.
"God knows, we've spent 18 years trying to figure it out!" said NYC Girl exasperated.
Meanwhile TLM had donned a black hi-cut swimsuit and was frantically puffing up a kiddies paddling pool.
"TLM!! what are you doing?" asked NYC Girl.
"Don't want to waste a good opportunity" she puffed.
"Hey, you could be sumo girl" said the lifeguard that might be Simon but might not.
"No flippin' way!" said NYC Girl.
Just then out of the closet jumped the black guy as a horse, all 3 turned to him and said,
"NO FREAKIN' WAY! OUT!"
the horse boy slunk out forlornly.

NicksViper was still waiting for Coyotes great revelation, but so far he'd locked himself into the bathroom and had been in ther for the last 20 minutes.
Growing bored, she began to debobble the carpet with the duct tape.  Just then Coyote leapt out of the bathroom in a pink suit, blond wig and makeup,
"Ta-DA!" he shouted.
"Oh my God! what have you done?" screamed NicksViper.
"I'm Nick, look!" said Coyote giving a little twirl.
It was then that NicksViper realised where her heart lay, gently pushing Coyote back into the bathroom she said,
"Get back to being Coyote Shivers, Coyote"
As he shut the door, she quickly taped it shut and resolved to find Nick, her Nick. She would fight to the death for him.  Hefting up a 5 foot hockey stick she thought to herself,
"May as well give myself a fighting chance though eh?"
Luaghing, she went on the prowl for Nick.
Meanwhile Coyote was calling plaintively from the bathroom, ruing the day he'd dropped from the life of ceiling girl Syldath.

After her scary moment in Lava Lamp Queens room, nursing a bump to the head Lava Lamp Lady wandered around dazed.  rushing to her room she rushed to wash her socks. she had no idea why, but she felt compelled to do so.  Watching her UK Immaculate Dream was stood in the doorway.
"What ya doing?"
"Washing socks" replied Lava Lamp Lady
"Eh?"
"And now I'm wating"
"Um...what for?" asked UK Immaculate Dream, almost too scared to ask.
Sighing, LLL said,
"I've washed my socks and now I'm waiting for the New Moon on Monday!"
With wide eyes UK Immaculate Dream watched her walk away.
"Hey, you're not called Lucy are you?" LLL turned to ask.
"Um...no" said UK Immaculate Dream.
"Ahh, so it's not a case of Lucy in the Sky with diamonds then?" said LLL dreamily.
"NO!!" said UK Immaculate Dream as she ran to her room and locked the door.
Wandering outside LLL met Fairys Midwife who was stamping everything that stood still longer than 5 seconds with her date stamp.
"Hello" said Fairys Midwife, "What are you doing?"
"Only came outside to watch the night fall into rain" replied LLL.
"Lord, she's barmier than me!" said Fairys Midwife backing off.  she then noticed LLL was studying the ground intently.  almost too scared to ask, but curiosity getting the better of her, Fairys Midwife asked,
"What now?"
"I'm looking for crakes in the pavement" said LLL
"Crakes?" said Fairys Midwife, "Don't you mean cracks?" realising what LLL was up to.
"No, crakes, it's a type of wading bird"
"Yeah right" Fairys Midwife  was getting really spooked now, but before she ran off she gave LLL a quick stamp of her date stamp.
It was then that Lava Lamp Lady realised she'd become Lava LYRIC Lady.

Lady Xanax was scurrying off with her invention when she ran into Lady Interference.
"Oh, hi" stammered Lady Xanax, trying to hide her Nick catcher behind her back.
"Whats that?" asked Lady Interference, knowing full well what it was, "Damn" she muttered to herself.
Hoping to nip away quickly and get Nick to herself for a bit, Lady Xanax said,
"Oooh look, David Sylvian!" as she pointed behind Lady Interference down the hall.
"Where?" said Lady Interference as she span round.
Realising she'd been duped she turned back to see Lady Xanax scurrying away.  Fortunately for Lady Interference, Lady Xanax had forgotten about the blanket rope around her waist, so quickly Lady Interference grabbed it and hauled her back.
"Oh no you don't, we'll go together 'kay?"
"Ok" sighed Lady Xanax
It didn't take them long to find Nick but it seemed the Nick catcher wasn't needed as he was so pleased to see them.
"Please help!" he pleaded, "I need make up remover and scissors"  As both of them went to unstrap Nick he looked up over their shoulders and said,
"Oohh look, David Sylvian"
"Yeah right" said Lady Interference unbelievingly, she wasn't going to fall for that one twice in a row.
"No serious, look!" pointed Nick.
Just then a silky voice behind her said,
"Ahhh,  my Lady Interference, I've been looking for you"
Trying not to faint, LI turned around slowly to look at a floppy fringed David Sylvian.
"Oh my!" she said as she fainted.
Lady Xanax meanwhile was ecstatic, she got Nick to herself after all!

Re had been wandering round the home for hours and still no one would play.  then he encountered Gerogeschick being slyly followed by Spy Matthews.
"Hello" said Re
"Hello, who are you?" asked Georgeschick, forever the friendly face.
"I'm Re" said Re
"Re? that's an odd name?"
"Do you think?"
"Are you on your own?" she asked.
"Yeah, no one wants to play"
An itch at the back of Georgeschicks mind began to annoy her, something was odd here, she knew this place was strange, now who was this odd child called Re and he was on his own, lonely you might say.  Realising Georgeschick said,
"On no! you're not Re Flex by any chance are you?"
"Yeah, how did you know?" beamed Re.
Just them they could hear the strains of Lilys aerobics starting up again. As before it was "Ba-na-na-na, Ba-na-na-na....flex flex, flex"
Res ears pricked up,
"hey, that's my uncle!" he said happily.
"what?" asked Georgeschick confused and also the stench of Spy creeping up on her was beginning to annoy her.
"My uncle, Ba-na-na-na Flex, I've got to go see him now!" smiled Re.
Not wanting to upset the boy, Georgeschick let him skip off happily.
Just then Spy Matthews made his move, he lunged at her, but being slight of foot and a whizz with photcopiers, Georgeschick grabbed him in a headlock, whipped his head into the photcopier and hit copy x 100.  As the light blinded him she made a run for it.

From the floor CT and Gemini Girl had quite a scary view of the Simon/lifeguard man in his speedos.
Just then Gemini Girl found herself in  a black hi-cut swimsuit.
"What the?" said Gemini Girl leaping up.
"Oh, Hel-lo!" said the Simon/lifeguard man suggestively.
"Damn TLM!" yelled Gemini Girl.
from the floor CT said,
"Sod TLM, you should see the view I'VE got now!" she giggled.
As CT giggled at her view and Gemini Girl huffed about TLM influencing her dress again, everything suddenly went very neon and jerky.  CT giggled even more, wondering if someone had slipped something into her cocoa recently.  Simon as a lifeguard that maybe wasn't, looked around scared.  He knew what was happening and he really didn't want to face an era of his life when he had looked a bit odd.
Making his excuses he went to run away, but as he did 3 figure shuffled out of the bushes.  Finally facing his nemesis Simon screamed and fainted.
CT stod up reluctantly, now her good view had gone. It was then that CT and Gemini Girl realised why everything they said came out in a neon speech bubbles and had gone jerky as if in a strobe light.
The 3 figures were in fact  mannequins of Simon, Nick and John, Simon having fainted at his bad hair and scary likeness.
Advancing on CT and Gemini Girl the 3 mannequins ushered them back to the house.  Gemni Girl was kind of relieved as she was getting a touch cold in just a swimsuit, plus she was going to kill TLM. All she needed now was the 3 mannequin Durans to stop chanting..
"All she wants is...All she wants is....All she wants is"

It was RioDNCR who ran into Roger as he clutched his scrap of remaining sheep to his chest.
"Oooh you poor man" said RioDNCR as she reached to prise the black rubber away from him.  Reluctantly he let go.
"Now then" said RioDNCR soothingly, "I'm sure there must be a drumkit or something for you round here"
Roger perked up, "Drums you say?"
"Um..well...."stammered RioDNCR
"Where? where?" asked Roger excitedly
Sheepishly RioDNCR led Roger to the "drums"
"Oh" said Roger when he saw them.  Two bongos sat alongside the monster from the Wildboys video.
"I'm not sitting by THAT THING!" Roger hummpfed, "He burst my sheep!"
RioDNCR sighed and wondered if it was time to go home yet.

So as night fell, screams punctuated the quiet every so often.  The laughter and giggles followed by slamming doors and more screams.
LK and LQ hoped daylight would come soon as they clung to each other on top of a filing cabinet.
Part 1
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Part 7