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LOCATION: Tokyo, Japan ARENA: Tokyo Dome DATE: February 22, 2003 REMAINING WRESTLERS: 4
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LOCATION: Tokyo, Japan ARENA: Tokyo Dome DATE: February 22, 2003 REMAINING WRESTLERS: 4
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Round 1
Chris Copeland vs Evan Drexxler
Finals:
??? vs ???
(The pyro’s kick off the show for the last time for UWA Surivor II and the camera swings over to Jimmy and Rudolph. The two are wearing suits and look much better than usual.)
Rudolph: Welcome everyone! To the Shurikan! The final four competitors; Hardcore Hogan, Chris Copeland, Evan Drexxler, and Dynamite Newton are moments away from smashing their way to complete and utter victory.
Jimmy: These men have earned their spots here and now all we have to do is settle this once and for all.
[Backstage:](Chris Copeland is walking through the back hallways with his wife and retarded child. They are all walking hand in hand and Copeland gives his wife a kiss before turning to the entrance curtain. Copeland’s wife whispers into his ear. “You’re gonna do great.”)
(Evan Drexxler stares in the mirror. He is sweating and he wipes his face off. Tonight, Drexxler makes a stand for all the little people. For Jen. For her mother. Evan stands up and prepares to do battle.)
(Pacing, Dynamite Newton stretches his muscles before his match. This is it. The night to prove that Dynamite Newton is the greatest wrestler in the world. Time to prove to the naysayers, that Dynamite Newton is the future of wrestling.
(Hardcore Hogan is sitting and relaxed. He is looking through his scrapbook. All the pictures of his past and there are pictures of him giving the leg drop to famous wrestlers; Andre the Giant, Macho Man, Ultimate Warrior, the Rock, Hardcore Hooligan, Tommy Bradley, and Bryan Deverot. There are pictures of him when he was in famous movies such as the hit; Mr. Nanny, and Suburban Commando. And now. Now is probably the last great run of Hardcore Hogan. For the fans. But most importantly… For himself.)
(“Aenema” by Tool plays and Chris Copeland steps from the curtains with a mixed reaction of cheers and boos. He walks to the ring and on each side of the ring, there are tombstones. The closer he gets to the ring, the more recent the name of the wrestlers elimination. For the final three tombstones, they are left blank until the final man falls for the evening.)
(As the first few chords of “Rock you like a hurricane” strum out, the fans explode for the man known as Evan Drexxler. The muscled master of the squared circle flexes his muscles and jumps onto the apron. He stares at Copeland and enters the ring, posing a little more before the bell rings.)
(As the bell rings, Drexxler goes for Copeland, but Copeland ducks his head under the top rope and the ref gets in the way of Drexxler to stop the fighting. As Drexxler backs away, Copeland rushes him and delivers a dropkick and it sends Drexxler back against the ropes. Copeland quickly gets up and clotheslines the behemoth over the top rope. The two tumble to the outside and Drexxler is stunned. Copeland continues hunting him and drops a knee on his back. Copeland rolls in and out to break the count and applies a camel clutch on the outside. Before the ten count, Chris Copeland rolls Drexxler back into the ring and delivers another dropkick.)
(Drexxler grunts and tries to get his head cleared, but Copeland whips him into the turnbuckle. Copeland runs in and eats a big boot to the face. Copeland get up on pure instinct and walks straight into a spinning belly to belly suplex! Drexxler gets up and floors Copeland with a thunderous clothesline! Copeland gets up again, and goes down in the same fashion.)
(Drexxler pulls Copeland up by the trunks and proceeds to gorilla press him over his head and lets him drop onto his chest. Drexxler returns the favour and applies a camel clutch on Copeland who squirms and eventually makes it to the ropes. Drexxler releases the hold and stomps down on Copeland as he rolls to the outside for a bit of a breather.)
(Copeland lulls Drexxler close to the ropes, then jumps onto the apron and pulls Drexxler’s throat across the top rope! Drexxler falls back holding his throat and Copeland wastes no time mounting the top rope and taking to the air like a bird! Crashing down on Drexxler with a flying headbutt, Copeland snatches Drexxler’s leg and goes for a pin.)
1…2…Drexxler kicks out before the three.
(Copeland continues the mad assault and applies a liontamer to continue to wear down the monstrous Evan Drexxler. Drexxler struggles to the rope but eventually bites it. Copeland relentlessly pulls Drexxler away from the ropes and with an expression of joy he applies more pressure on the liontamer. Again, Drexxler reaches for the ropes but this time he places his entire arm around the bottom rope. Chris Copeland still has the liontamer cinched in and the Ref angrily tries to pull Copeland off of the struggling Evan Drexxler. Finally, Chris Copeland releases the hold and poses for the crowd.)
Jimmy: Chris Copeland is a madman on the loose.
(Chris Copeland pulls Evan Drexxler to the turnbuckle and sets his enemy up for the tornado death drop. Jen starts running to the ring with a worried look on her face. Drexxler looks at the worried Jen and powers up! With one swift punch to the bread basket, Copeland timbers to the ground like a Christmas Tree. Evan Drexxler points at his woman who is smiling like a lovesick puppy. Drexxler jumps in the air like Mike and procures a European Economics Elbow Drop on the chest of Chris Copeland. Drexxler hooks the leg for a pin.)
1…2… (Chris Copeland kicks out and Drexxler is on him like a mouse on a piece of cheese)
(Drexxler pins Copeland down to the ground and gives a few good elbow shots to his enemy. Chris Copeland holds up his blockers and cleverly grasps Drexxler with his legs for a pinning combination.)
1…2.. (Evan Drexxler kicks out)
Rudolph: Both men want are giving it their all!
(Now, Bruno uneasily runs to the ring. Jen hops on the canvas distracting the referee by showing off her assets. Von Gotch slowly rolls into the ring. Gotch swings his cane at the distracted Chris Copeland knocking him off his feet. Von Gotch places Evan Drexxler on top of Chris Copeland for the pin)
1…2… (Chris Copeland kicks out!)
Jimmy: OH MY!!! Copeland kicks out!!!
(Evan Drexxler lifts his head up in surprise. His eyes are bulging out like his muscles as he lifts Chris Copeland off the ground. Evan Drexxler tosses Copeland off the ropes and Drexxler shakes his arms signaling for the Hurricane Heart Punch. He swings with all his might but the nimble Chris Copeland ducks the shot! Copeland bounces off the ropes and nails Drexxler with a vicious flying forehand smash! Chris Copeland has adrenaline on his side as he mounts the top rope. Evan Drexxler quickly stands up and rapidly delivers a belly-to-belly suplex from the top rope! Evan Drexxler positions himself over top of his enemy and powers up for the Hurricane Heart Punch. With a downward angle, Drexxler drills Copeland while he was lying on the ground! Drexxler quickly covers Copeland!)
1…2…3 (Evan Drexxler beats Chris Copeland)
Jimmy: Evan Drexxler wins and does not have to fight in the next round of the unethical tournament!
Rudolph: That was an exciting match to the bitter end, Jimmy! Chris Copeland put up an excellent fight but I don’t think that this is over between these two.
(TICK. TICK. TICK. BOOOOM!!!! “Changes” by Fourpac blares and Fourpac charges out and busts a few rhymes. Dynamite Newton bounces outside to the beat with a pair of shades covering his eyes. Both men walk down the aisle and Dynamite Newton places his sunglasses on a retarded boy sitting in the front row.)
Jimmy: It’s going down.
(Ding. Ding. Ding. The bell sounds and Hardcore Hogan asks Dynamite Newton to lock hands in the center of the ring. Dynamite Newton smiles and their hands lock up. Hardcore Hogan immediately boots Dynamite Newton in the gut. Newton was tricked by the experienced Hogan. Hardcore Hogan goes to town on the first turnbuckle and discovers a garbage bag! Hogan licks his lips and grabs the cat that is resting in the corner. Hogan covers the cat with the black garbage bag and starts swinging him around like a discus. Dynamite Newton staggers to his feet until getting smashed by the bagged cat. Newton falls back into the corner and Hogan points at the garbage bag with the cat inside. The fans give a loud cheer as Hardcore Hogan swings the bag like a golf club rocking Dynamite Newton in the groin area.)
(In his celebration, Hogan tosses the bag with the now dead cat, into the crowd. Nguyen Tobbits, former wrestler for the UWA, catches the bag and licks his lips in thought of the meal of cat he will be enjoying after the card.)
Jimmy: That is a Japanese delicacy. Cat! Hogan did them a favor and killed the chowed meow for them!
(Hogan goes to the next turnbuckle and and unveils a fork! Hogan performs his patented back rake with a fork in his hand and Dynamite squeals in pain. Hogan sends Dynamite Newton off the ropes and floors him with a big boot. Hogan wastes no time and goes off the ropes and delivers a big Greasy Leg Drop!
1…2…Newton Kicks out! The fans are freaking out! Newton begins to shake and he gets to his feet. Hogan fires a right hand, and Newton blocks it and fires a right of his own. Hogan recoils from the impact and Newton dumps him over the top and Newton poses for the fans!)
(As Newton is posing, a piece of bloodied fur hits him in the chest and he looks disgusted as it seems the fans are eating the cat before the end of the match…RAW!)
Rudolph: These Japanese fans are digging into that cat like they’re zombies!
(Hogan rolls under the ring and emerges holding a bat made out of LEGO! Hogan nails Newton with the bat and it shatters into thousands of tiny pieces. Newton falls outside and Hogan starts throwing small bits at Newton and Fourpac! Newton gets back into the ring and tackles Hogan to the ground and rifles a few shots into his old face. Newton picks Hogan up by his handle-bar moustache and flings him into the corner. Newton charges in and crushes Hogan with a diving splash! Newton schoolboys Hogan)
1…2.. (Hardcore Hogan kicks out!)
(Hardcore Hogan quickly gets up but Dynamite Newton knocks him back down to his feet with a powerful clothesline! Newton locks up the legs of Hardcore Hogan with a sharpshooter.)
Rudolph: Dynamite Newton is givin’ it to the ring veteran.
(The expression on Hogan’s face says it all. Hardcore Hogan is old and fatigued. Slowly, Hardcore Hogan eventually grabs the bottom rope and Dynamite Newton releases the hold. Newton mounts the top rope waiting for the UWA Legend, Hardcore Hogan. Like a wrestling eagle, Dynamite Newton delivers a hurricarana to Hardcore Hogan and his head hits the canvas like a ton of bricks. Suddenly, Hardcore Hogan begins to stand up to his feet staggering like a drunk. Hogan holds his chest and pants for fresh air. Dynamite Newton has a look of concern as Hardcore Hogan drops to one knee.)
Jimmy: Newton.?.
(Hardcore Hogan holds his heart with both hands and drops to both knees. Dynamite Newton converges with the old wrestler and four paramedics are charging to the ring like a herd of buffalo. Hardcore Hogan hides a sardonic smile away from Newton. Newton touches the pulse of Hardcore Hogan on the neck and its beating fine. Dynamite Newton backs up and realizes the trick that Hardcore Hogan played. Newton angrily locks Hardcore Hogan in the Full Nelson Forward Sweep. With one big motion, Dynamite Newton annihilates Hardcore Hogan with the DYNAMITE SWEEP!)
Rudolph: DYNAMITE SWEEP!!! DYNAMITE SWEEP!!!
(Dynamite Newton pins Hardcore Hogan)
1…2…3 (Dynamite Newton beats Hardcore Hogan)
Rudolph: Hardcore Hogan must fight Chris Copeland in the finals. Dynamite Newton and Evan Drexxler are guaranteed to fight in the 3-way ladder match. But who? But who will win between Copeland and Hogan.
Jimmy: I don’t know…
Jimmy: Hogan has run backstage to get a drink of water and now Chris Copeland is on his way out.
Rudolph: Hogan faked a heart attack against Dynamite Newton and it backfired on him.
Jimmy: One of these men will be the forth place finish for the UWA Survivor II.
(Once again, “Aenema” plays and Chris Copeland heads to the ring and the fans are booing and cheering in a mixed reaction.)
(The opening riff of “Voodoo Child” plays and Hogan steps out with a real live boa wrapped around his neck. Hogan holds a sign over his head that reads: “Chow Meow” and fans begin to chant it. Hogan raises his arms and a flurry of animals runs from the backstage area! Deer, rabbits, squirrels, a fox, A dog bites a deer’s hamstring and begins to tear it’s flesh! A fish flops around in the aisle and Hogan charges to the ring!)
(As Hogan slides into the ring, Copeland begins to stomp the messiah of “Chow Meow” and Hogan takes a flurry of stomps. Hogan shoves Copeland off of him and immediately goes for one of the two remaining turnbuckles. In the turnbuckle is an extension cord! Hogan begins whipping Copeland across the back and then goes to the outside. Hogan reaches under the ring and plugs the extension cord into.. A WEEDWHACKER! Copeland screams a feminine scream as the weedwhacker roars to life and Copeland narrowly avoids having his face mulched as a few strands of hair get snipped off in the attack.)
(Hogan chases Copeland around the ring until the cord reaches it’s full length and is ripped from the plug. Copeland strikes while the time is good and delivers multiple atomic drops to Hogan! Hogan shakes his head as the impacts slowly compress his old spine!)
(Copeland follows up with the ever popular flying headbutt and Hogan shakes around like he is electrocuted. Copeland whips Hogan off the ropes and takes him out with a shoulder butt. Copeland lifts Hogan up and Hogan delivers a jumping Olympic slam! Copeland is hurting bad from the move and Hogan hungrily opens up the final turnbuckle.)
(Hogan reveals the item to be a folded up sign. Hogan opens it up and it says “Chow Meow”! but wait, there seems to be something else written under the initial words… It reads: Says goodbye.)
(Hogan looks at the sign in confusion that Copeland found time to change the bottom part of the sign and then Copeland strikes him with the superkick while he is distracted! Hogan drops to his sweaty knees and collapses face first and Copeland goes for a cover!
1…2…3! Chris Copeland defeats Hardcore Hogan and eliminates him!
Jimmy: Hardcore Hogan takes the fourth place spot.
Rudolph: Copeland is already backstage to rest up before his next match.
Jimmy: Wait. Hogan is getting up to cheers of the fans.
(Hogan turns in a circle and the Japs cheer Hogan as he gives the big thumbs up and he shakes his hand and holds it to his ear. The fans get louder. Hogan soaks up the love before heading backstage to hit the showers.
Jimmy: The the finalists are being given a moment to rest before the next match. So in this time we would like to present-
Rudolph: Wait, we have just received word that Evan Drexxler is having an encounter with President Pondababa.
[Backstage:] (The camera is in Ponda's office as the door bursts open. Evan stalks in. He walks directly up to Ponda and stares him in the optical beam.)
Evan: I'm sure you know that Jen's grandmother is dying. I'm also sure you know that you're the only one that can save her. So, I'm asking you to.
(Ponda stares back at him.)
Ponda: And what do I get out of it?
(Even glares at him.)
Evan: I'll fund the next UWA project with two million dollars. And I'll extend my contract with the UWA for an extra year, for free. It's your choice.
(With that Evan turns and walks out of the room leaving Ponda to stand and wonder.)
(Chris Copeland heads to his change room to celebrate with his family. But they are nowhere to be found. Copeland looks a little concerned as he turns to Chainsaw masaca, who is lingering in the backstage area and asks.
Copeland: Have you seen my wife and handicapped child?
Masaca: No, I saw them talking with Kingsly, but that was a while ago.
Copeland: Hmm, quite curious.
Jimmy: Now we present a video to give the wrestlers a last minute rest before the triple threat ladder match.
As the music begins, there is a few fading shots of wrestlers coming through the curtains during their entance. Hooligan marches out smoking a cigarette with the beautiful Alexis/Paul Duffy raises his hands and throws his cowboy hat into the air/Bryan Deverot jogging to the ring in his pink sweat-soaked shirt/Dark Avenger holding up his COLES NOTES book of Satanism/Lou Carbo screaming at the fans/Triple K flipping the bird to the fans/
As the music changes the clips now show wrestlers who were fueding:
There is a shot of Bryan Deverot flying off the loft of a burning farmhouse landing a moonsault on Klyde Kooger Klancy/Tommy Bradley and Hardcore Hooligan fighting tooth and nail and smashing all the people in the ring with them/Newton giving Hogan a low blow, followed by a cutshot to Hogan taking the Dynamite Sweep after faking a heart attack/Dark Avenger dragging Paul Duffy behind his motorcycle/Evan Drexxler and Copeland staring each other down, Copeland pinning Drexxler, Drexxler pinning Copeland/ President Pondababa staring optical visor to eye with Evan Drexxler.
Now the scenes cut to backstage friendships: Hogan jumping in the air, hugging Bryan Deverot after a big win/Jason Ross, Village Idiot, and Lou Carbo huddled together football style/Bradley and Hooligan having a beer together before more smashing/Newton and Fourpac celebrating after a hard fought win/Drexxler and Paul Duffy lifting weights together/Pain Express patting Chainsaw Masaca on the back
The video now show the three finalists and them delivering some of their patented moves!: Copeland pinning Drexxler on the Great Wall of China/Drexxler pinning Copeland just moments earlier/Newton pinning Hardcore Hogan/Hogan dropping his greasy leg on Hardcore Hooligan’s throat.
Now, slow motion shots of the three finalists: Chris Copeland, sweaty and tired raising his hands in Africa/Evan Drexxler, celebrating after knocking Chainsaw Masaca out/ and Newton on the top rope raising his arms!
Fade to black
(“HERE I AM! ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE” Evan Drexxler heads out to the ring, more determined than ever. He jumps through an artificially created hurricane. He eyes the ladder and examines it’s structural integrity.)
(“Aenema” plays once again and Chris Copeland marches to the ring with vigor and his knee is taped up. Copeland stares at the ladders, and then at Dynamite Newton and Evan Drexxler. It will be a hard match to win with the odds like this.)
(At the sound of the bell, Evan Drexxler and Dynamite Newton double clothesline Chris Copeland and Copeland rolls to the outside and grabs a ladder. Copeland begins to spin and hits Drexxler with the ladder. Newton ducks the ladder and tackles Copeland to the mat. Newton continues to grasp Copeland by the neck but Copeland cleverly monkey flips Newton through the middle and top rope. Evan Drexxler picks up the ladder and starts swinging around in a continuous three-sixties! Copeland ducks the ladder one time, but the second time he gets jacked into the corner. Evan Drexxler sets up the ladder and begins climbing like a Neanderthal. Chris Copeland eyes Drexxler and shoves the ladder causing him to fall all the way to the concrete floor!)
Rudolph: That was a huge fall that Drexxler suffered!
(Chris Copeland resets up the ladder and begins to climb. Dynamite Newton quickly scrambles to the other end of the ladder. They both reach the top steps of the ladder and exchange shot-for-shot. The ladder topples like a see-saw as both wrestlers panic and try to maintain a stable position. Chris Copeland gives a gigantic punch to the face of Dynamite Newton and he plummets to the ground. Copeland has a huge smile on his face as he reaches for the briefcase. Out of nowhere, Evan Drexxler drop kicks the ladder and now Chris Copeland falls and hangs onto the top rope. Evan Drexxler charges at the suspending Chris Copeland and smashes his hands. Chris Copeland crashes into the guardrail and kisses his hands.)
(Drexxler and Newton cohesively set up the ladder and begin to climb opposite sides. The two reach the top off the ladder and begin to brawl. Copeland sneaks up the one side of the ladder and pulls Drexxler down. Copeland bursts forward with extra force and nails Newton off the ladder! With his last ounce of reserve strength, Copeland grips the briefcase and tries to pry it off! Drexxler grabs onto Copeland’s feet and starts hanging! Finally, the clasp releases and Copeland plummets to the canvas with briefcase in hand!)
Chris Copeland wins the first briefcase
Rudolph: Despite the odds, Chris Copeland managed to get his hands on a briefcase and he will meet the other winner of this match! Either Dynamite Newton, or Evan Drexxler!
Jimmy: These two are friends too!
(Evan Drexxler pushes Chris Copeland and he flies through the middle and top rope to the outside. Chris Copeland grins while Drexxler angrily yells in bewilderment. Preoccupied, Drexxler is. Dynamite Newton has his hands on his waist as he turns around Evan Drexxler. Drexxler walks up towards Newton and they stare eye-to-eye.)
Rudolph: These are two friends, Jimmy.
Jimmy: I am sure this is THE last thing that either of the two want to do-fight each other.
(The fans erupt-they want violence. Suddenly, both men go shot-for-shot! Newton and Drexxler start dropping bombs on each other!!! Drexxler irish whips Newton into the ropes. Newton ducks the massive forearm of Drexxler and bounces off the ropes. With intense power, Dynamite Newton unloads a powerful clothesline. The fans jump off their seats detonating for Dynamite Newton! Fourpac on the outside starts breakdancing. But this is Dynamite Newton’s moment; he poses for the crowd as they cheer for him not Fourpac. The adrenaline is rushing through Newton’s veins as he mounts the top rope. Newton blazes through the air dropping an elbow on the chest of Evan Drexxler)
Rudolph: Dynamite Newton is on fire in the ring. He’s hitting Drexxler with everything he’s got!
(Newton has a handful of hair as he tosses Drexxler into the ropes. Newton unleashes a clothesline, but Evan Drexxler ducks. Drexxler continues off the ropes and Newton leap frogs Drexxler. With stunning strength, Newton powerslams Drexxler to the mat! Drexxler bounces off the canvas from the extraordinary strength shown. Dynamite Newton picks up his enemy but Drexxler springs forward and delivers a devastating spinning spinebuster! Drexxler sets up the ladder in the corner of the ring and Drexxler picks up Newton and executes a belly-to-belly overhead suplex into the ladder! Newton bounces off the ladder and lands on his neck and shoulder.)
(Drexxler sets up the ladder and begins to climb the ladder and as he reaches the top, Newton guts it out and climbs up the other side! At the top of the ladder, the two begin slugging it out and Newton grabs Drexxler by the back of the head! Newton jumps down, pulling Drexxler’s chin into the top steel rung of the ladder! Drexxler falls off like a punch drunk prize fighter!)
Jimmy: CHING CHING SUCKAAAAAAS!
(Newton spins in a circle as the fans are erupting like Vesuvius! Newton now begins to climb the ladder for the prized briefcase! Slowly, so slowly, Newton climbs the ladder. Drexxler sits up and groggily places a meaty hand on the bottom rung and begins pulling himself up the ladder. Newton reaches, but the ladder wobbles and he has to regain his balance. Drexxler grabs Newton by the trunks and pulls himself up to the same level. Newton goes to punch and Drexxler blocks! When Newton is off balance, Drexxler grabs him by the throat and manages to gorilla press Newton over his head! The ladder shakes but Drexxler manages to maintain balance!)
(Outside, Fourpac is running around in a panic! Drexxler notices Fourpac and throws Newton off the top of the ladder to the outside onto Fourpac!!!! The two crash to the ground and are out cold!)
(Drexxler exhaustedly raises his hands and unclasps the briefcase to obtain victory!!!)
Evan Drexxler wins the final position to the final!
(Drexxler immediately heads to the outside and helps up Newton, who is still regaining his composure. Drexxler pats him on the back and begins to walk away, but Newton spins him around! The two are eye to eye, and Fourpac looks nervous. Newton slowly extends his hand and the fans begin to roar! Drexxler grasps Newton’s hand and the two embrace briefly.)
Rudolph: Newton and Drexxler maintain their friendship, even after that battle!
Jimmy: Evan’s going to be way more worn out now that he had to obtain the second briefcase!
(Newton bows to the fans before he and Fourpac return to the backstage area for the last time.)
Jimmy: We will give Evan Drexxler and Chris Copeland a moment to get their heads back in the game and we have a video to show the ongoing feud between Chris Copeland and Evan Drexxler.
Rudolph: Enjoy.
The music begins as it shows Chris Copeland mourning his family as he accuses Cliff Knight for the death of his wife and child.
Copeland delivers a superkick to Cliff Knight and it is the last time that Cliff Knight is seen as an active competitor in the UWA.
After Cliff Knight is eliminated, Chris Copeland states that is was in fact, another person responsible for the death of his wife and child.
Indiana. The Pondababa Sequence. Copeland reveals that it is none other than Evan Drexxler responsible! Copeland superkicks Drexxler and he is pinned in the Pondababa Sequence!
The feud truly begins as the two are constantly at odds with one and other.
There is a shot of Chris Copeland pinning Evan Drexxler's close friend, Dynamite Newton.
The next shot show's Copeland pinning Evan Drexxler on the Great Wall of China. And these words come out of Chris Copeland's mouth:
Chris Copeland: Hey Drexxler, about my wife and kid being dead... I lied.
A shot of Drexxler pinning Chris Copeland after interference from Bruno Von Gotch.
Chris Copeland grabbing the first briefcase.
Evan Drexxler obtaining the second briefcase.
And a shot of Chris Copeland and Evan Drexxler eye to eye.
Fade to Black
[Backstage:](Chris Copeland gets back to his dressing room and there is an envelope on the door. Upon opening it, there is a chilling message within.
Chris Copeland. You have abused my sympathy and kindness for far too long. I require you to throw the last fight to Evan Drexxler if you want to see your family again.
Kingsly.
Copeland storms towards the ring.
(Evan Drexxler is in his locker room. Bruno Von Gotch has his armed kindly wrapped around his neck giving some final words of encouragement.)
Bruno Von Gotch: You've made it this far. NOW, DON'T SCREW IT UP!!! The whole world is watching you.
Evan Drexxler: (nods his head) Thanks for the added pressure, Bruno. This one I have to do completely on my own. Despite, the 14 lumberjacks on the outside, Bruno... I want to prove to the entire world, to my elementary kids, to little Myron and his family, that you, myself and anyone can succeed at anything in life. If you put your mind to anything, absolutely anything, you are already half way there. The UWA Survivor title, Bruno... I have put my mind on. And this is something that I cannot and will not fail at doing.
("Rock you like a Hurricane" plays and the fans erupt! Evan Drexxler marches to the ring flexing his pipes and he climbs into the ring. Drexxler spins in a circles and then Chris Copeland's music, "Aenema" by Tool begins to play and Chris Copeland gets to the ring in a hurry.)
(Copeland grabs a mic and begins to speak:)
Copeland: President Kingsly! I demand that you bring my family to the ringside area immediately!
("Keep Away" By Godsmack plays and Kingsly emerges with Copeland's wife and retarded child in tow! He has them on a leash and he leads them to the ring. The three enter the ring and Copeland begins to speak once more!)
Copeland: Kingsly! This blackmail attempt was a good one. But there's only one problem!
(Copeland superkicks his WIFE!!!)
Copeland: I'M NOT MARRIED! DO YOU THINK MY GENETICS WOULD ALLOW ME TO CREATE A DOWN SYNDROME CHILD!?
(Copeland superkicks Kingsly and Copeland signals for the ref to ring the bell! The Down syndrome child is crying as she looks down at the two unconscious people.)
(The Lumberjacks, all of the wrestlers who competed in the UWA Survivor II head to the ring. Minus Cliff Knight. All the big names: Johnny Damage, Tommy Bradley, Dynamite Newton, Hardcore Hogan, Bryan Deverot, Triple K, Dark Avenger, Paul Duffy and Chainsaw Masaca. The bell rings and the match is underway.)
Jimmy:The fans are jakked for this high caliber match-up.
(The electricity in the Tokyo Dome is incredible. The roof is being raised because of the fans applause. Drexxler and Copeland circle around each other for a few seconds and lock up. Drexxler over powers Copeland by shoving him into the corner. Copeland dusts himself off and stares into the eyes of Drexxler with confidence. The two lock up again, this time Chris Copeland gives a drop toe hold, smashing Drexxler face-first into the mat.)
(Drexxler charges at Copeland, and Copeland seizes the moment and rolls Drexxler up in a small package!)
1…2…3! Copeland scores a surprising first pin!
Jimmy: That flash pin caught Evan Drexxler off guard and Chris Copeland takes an early 1 point lead!
Rudolph: If this were a normal finals, Copeland would already have won it!
(Drexxler gets up in a rage and charges Copeland! Copeland goes for a superkick, and Drexxler ducks it and gores Copeland into the corner! As Copeland stumbles out, Drexxler delivers an overhead suplex! Keeping the momentum going, Evan Drexxler goes to the top rope and takes to the air, landing on Copeland with a painful Eastern European Economics Elbow Drop! Drexxler hungrily goes for a pin!)
1…2…Copeland kicks out before the three count.
(Copeland delivers a low blow followed by three eye rakes pushing Drexxler all the turnbuckle. The lumberjacks on the outside didn’t like the cheating at all. Copeland irish whips Drexxler all the way to the opposite end. Copeland rushes in happily but Drexxler levels Copeland with a devastating clothesline. Chris Copeland quickly is back to his feet but Drexxler hugs Copeland like a black bear. Drexxler swings with momentum and gives a belly-to-belly suplex all the way to the outside!)
Jimmy: The lumberjacks are like sharks out there! They’re hungry for chum, that’s fish guts!
(Dynamite Newton and Fourpac start going to town on Chris Copeland. Newton gives a Scott Hall like paintbrush and Copeland panics. Dynamite Newton then executes a Dynamite Sweep on the hard concrete. Fourpac disses the damaged Chris Copeland and tosses him back in the ring like yesterday’s garbage. Evan Drexxler covers Chris Copeland)
1…2... (Chris Copeland kicks out!)
Jimmy: OH MY!!! After the Dynamite Sweep, Chris Copeland is still on his feet!
[45 minutes remaining…]
(Evan Drexxler picks up his enemy and Copeland gives a surprising small package to Evan Drexxler!)
1…2… (Evan Drexxler kicks out!)
Jimmy: We’ve seen Drexxler already down one point because of the small package! That is one devastating maneouver!
(Copeland maintains control and hoists Drexxler to the top rope. Elevating Drexxler on his shoulders, Copeland attempts a big samoan drop from the top rope! Drexxler reverses the samoan drop by kicking out his feet. Copeland flies 13 feet to the ground with a scorpion death drop from the top rope! Drexxler continues his assault by gorilla pressing Copeland in the air. He presses Copeland twice but Copeland grasps onto the neck of Drexxler and DDT’s his head straight into the canvas! The ring shakes after the seed was planted!)
Jimmy: Copeland is just punishing Drexxler! This match has been filled with reversals, Rudy! What’s your thoughts, Jimmy?
Rudolph: Both are bringing their A-games! The lumberjacks have been pretty silent so far.
(Drexxler is guided off the ground and whipped into the ropes. Copeland attempts a back body drop but Evan Drexxler quickly goes behind his opponent. Drexxler gives a punishing German Suplex pinning combo!)
1…2.. (Chris Copeland kicks out!)
(Evan Drexxler scurries to the top rope and Copeland struggles to his feet. Like a drunken lunatic, Copeland stands on his feet. Drexxler flies in the air with a flying drop kick and Copeland’s eyes light up like Lights of Vegas! Copeland catches the feet of Drexxler and places his opponent in a liontamer!)
(Drexxler starts pushing himself to the rope and eventually grasps it. Copeland, tugs Drexxler away from the rope and reapplies the liontamer more fercious than ever! Evan Drexxler starts tapping out because of the pain enforced on his back! Copeland continues with the hold until the referee breaks it up!)
2 points Chris Copeland
Jimmy: Chris Copeland is shining!
[30 minutes remaining…]
(Drexxler rolls to the outside to regain his composure and Triple K floors him with a huge shoulder butt. Newton picks Drexxler up to protect him and Hogan delivers a big boot to Newton. Newton’s sacrifice gives Drexxler enough time to get back into the ring! Copeland charges in with a double axe handle and Drexxler ducks the blow, spins in behind Copeland and delivers a german suplex!)
1…2…3! Evan Drexxler scores a pinfall on Chris Copeland!
Rudolph: Evan Drexxler just scored a flash pin of his own on Chris Copeland!
(Copeland spring back to his feet and levels Drexxler as he’s getting up. Copeland once again applies the Liontamer and using great strength, Drexxler kicks Copeland off of his legs and over the top rope!
(Dark Avenger stomps away on Copeland and Chainsaw Masaca applies the Osaca Street Cutter on Copeland and he rolls Drexxler back into the ring! Drexxler goes for the pin!)
1…2…Copeland gets his foot on the bottom rope. Drexxler drags Copeland into the middle of the ring and goes for another pin!
1…2…Copeland kicks out!
(Drexxler sends Copeland off the ropes and ducks down for a back body drop, but Copeland flies over top and applies a sunset flip!)
1…2…Drexxler gets his sweaty shoulders off the canvas and he is quick to get up, but it is clear that fatigue of the whole night, and the Iron Man match itself is taking a toll on his body.
(Chris Copeland wipes a pound full of sweat of his bro and lets it drip from his fingers. Copeland charges off the ropes and lets his knee drive into the ribs of Evan Drexxler. Drexxler growls and rolls to the outside. Hardcore Hogan starts pointing at the fatigued Evan Drexxler and starts a chant “Meow Mein, Meow Mein, Meow Mein!” The japanese people join in as Hardcore Hogan drops a greasy leg across the throat of Evan Drexxler! Hardcore Hogan rolls Drexxler back into the ring and Chris Copeland goes for the cover)
1….2… (Evan Drexxler kicks out!)
[15 minutes remaining]
Jimmy: Evan Drexxler is here to show the World!
(Evan Drexxler starts crawling on the ground like a cat and holds onto the calf muscle of Chris Copeland. Copeland grins but Evan Drexxler was playing possam! Evan Drexxler hoists Chris Copeland on his shoulders and starts spinning around like an old school wrestler. Evan Drexxler tosses Copeland off his shoulder like an F-5. Because of pure dizziness, both wrestlers drop with their shoulders stuck to the mat. The ref counts.)
1…2….3…4…5
(Both wrestlers remain on the ground motionless)
…6…7…8...9... (Evan Drexxler places his hand on the chest of Chris Copeland)
1…2… (Chris Copeland kicks out!)
Jimmy: After all that! We still have both wrestlers incredibly fatigued! It’s still 2 to 1, Chris Copeland has the advantage.
[10 minutes remaining]
(Evan Drexxler places Copeland in a bearhug to further wear him down! Copeland grunts like a pig and Drexxler slams him face down on the canvas! Quick as a hiccup, Drexxler hops onto his back and applies a camel clutch! AKA, the DREXXLER RECLINER! Copeland squirms, but the hold is cinched in very tight! Copeland wriggles and reaches for the ropes, but there is no chance he will get to the ropes!)
(Copeland taps out!)
[The match is tied 2-2 with 5 minutes remaining…]
(Drexxler raises his arms in celebration that the score is evened up and when he turns around, BANG! Copeland floors him with a superkick!)
1…2…DREXXLER KICKS OUT!
(Copeland looks shocked as he looks at the lumberjacks watch on intensely! Drexxler opens his eyes and HIS EYES ARE GLOWING! IXON has returned!)
(Copeland looks stunned as his eyes bulge at the hyper-intensive man! Ixon starts pointing his finger at Copeland but Copeland fearlessly attacks. Ixon elevates Copeland 12 feet in the air from sheer strength with a gorilly press! Ixon starts shaking the ropes and the lumberjacks avoid the pumped up Ixon! Ixon starts pacing around the ring until he hoists Copeland up in the air. With an up-down-motion, Ixon performs a jumping sitting tombstone and Copeland is flattened on the ground.)
(Copeland slowly rises up to his feet and Ixon launches him into the ropes. Ixon lowers his head, and Copeland delivers a running bulldog. Copeland thought that it would turn the tide, but Ixon was back up on his feet like a monkey on a banana! Copeland is stunned by the resiliency of Ixon! Ixon scoops Copeland upside down and prepares to deliver another tombstone piledriver, but Copeland starts kicking his legs and IXON bends backwards. Copelands manages to get IXON upside down and floors him with a tombstone piledriver of his own!)
(Copeland starts stomping his foot to denote the Superkick! IXON is slower to get up and when he turns around, he telegraphs the move and spins Copeland in a circle! As Copeland spins, IXON does a spin of his own! IN THE FORM OF THE HURRICANE HEART PUNCH! Copland collapses to the canvas and IXON goes for the quick cover!)
1…2…3! IXON scores a pin over Chris Copeland!
(The final seconds on the clock wear down and IXON reverts back to Evan Drexxler.)
(ding, ding ding)
[Evan Drexxler wins the match 3-2]
(Evan Drexxler’s music begins to play and President Pondababa walks to the ring with a velvet bag. Pondababa opens the bag to reveal a beautiful ULTIMATE SURVIVOR II wrestling belt, made of gold with the words, “Ultimate Survivor” with a large roman numeral number of “II” inlaid with diamonds behind the letters.)
(Pondababa places the title around Drexxler’s waist. Kingsly climbs in the ring to help deliver the prize.)
President Pondababa: We’ve spent many months, many days and many hours trying to settle our differences… And I made a promise to you… I made a promise that the school would be given back to you in one piece. And here you go…
(Pondababa hands Evan Drexxler the key to his elementary school)
President Pondababa: Here is a key to your elementary school. You deserve this and so much more.
(The scene cut shots to a gymnasium full of kids. Myron is in the front row and they are all cheering for the new Principal Evan Drexxler.)
(The scene cutshots back to the Tokyo Dome. The eyes of Evan Drexxler glisten)
President Pondababa: And I’ll do anything in my power to help Jen’s mother in the hospital as long as you return next year for UWA Survivor III- (The Triad). What do you say.
(President Pondababa puts out his hand and Evan Drexxler gladly shakes the hand of the president. The fans begin to chant: “Drexxler, Drexxler, Drexxler!” and the lumberjacks calmly enter the ring. Johnny Damage and President Kingsly light up cigars and puff until their lungs are charred. Triple K hugs Bryan Deverot. Hardcore Hogan is juggling some kittens trying to gain the attention of the crowd. Cliff Knight walks out from the crowd with a three piece suit and gives a thick thumbs up to Evan Drexxler in the ring. Dynamite Newton and Paul Duffy sneak up behind the Ultimate Survivor and place him on their shoulders. The embodiment of true hard work, ethics, and a warrior’s spirit. A true hero in the eyes of the fans. Evan Drexxler. )
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