Alaska
LOCATION: Juneau, Alaska
ARENA: The Ice Palace
DATE: Monday, December 23, 2002
REMAINING WRESTLERS: 15
  • IMMUNITY MAIN EVENT: IME- King of the Hill
  • Bring your parka, bring your winter boots. Two wrestlers are selected to fight on the top of a mountain in freezing temperatures!
  • With low oxygen, he who is pinned or made submit WHICHEVER TEAM THAT WRESTLER WAS ON, THAT TEAM MUST CAST THEIR VOTES NO LATER THAN 1 DAY AFTER THIS CARD


"Arctic Anarchy"

(A black Charger pulls up in the parking lot. The bellowing sounds of black metal enthusiasts Cradle of Filth bellows from the old car. Out steps the UWA's own Hardcore Legend, Tommy "Bruiser" Bradley. The fans bellow a cheer for the man who redefined Hardcore wrestling back in the day. He starts his walk to the locker room when our own Creighton Duke catches up with him.)

Creighton:Tommy, let me get myself a word with you.

Tommy:Sure thing Creighter! Whats up?

Creighton:Well you have the abhorred racist Triple K coming up tonite. He has said a lot of strong words in the past few hours, do you really think you can take the big man down?

Tommy:Creighter, not only can I take him down, I will. Triple K, you are full of so much hot air you'll go down faster than the Hindenburg. Let me tell ya something Triple K, this isn't about whether minorities like Creighter here deserve a shot at greatness or not, its about me doing what millions and millions of people across this great country of ours have always wanted to do, shut your big fat ass up!

Creighton:Those are some strong words Bruiser! Are you ready to back those words up?

Tommy:You better believe it Creighter. One thing everyone has always known about the Bruiser, I come to every fight looking to tear someone apart. Its a hell of a lot easier to say what you are going to do than it is to actually do it. Frankly, I am ecstatic that in a few short hours, it will be me and you Triple K, staring each other down. Question you have to ask yourself, are you man enough to come to the dance? Or will you be ditched like the ugly bitch you are!

(Tommy pushes past Creighton and makes his way to his locker room.)


( [Backstage: ] The dressing room of Hardcore Hooligan is abuzz as Hogan, and Bomber are chillin’ before the nights events. Hogan is sitting on a padded chair with a stripper bouncing on his lap! Hogan is rubbing his bald head on her and she’s loving it. Chris Bomber looks a bit more composed as he is studying his notes on Dark Avenger before the fight. And Johnny Damage is two fisting booze while the beautiful Alexis is massaging his shoulders.)

Hooligan: Hey Hogan, we have to take this thing to a whole new level tonight.
Hogan: Well you know something brother. (Hogan raps his knuckles on his scrotum.) I’m all healed up and ready to drop my greasy leg on those over grown bullies dude!
Hooligan: Good. That’s real good Hulk. Hey Bomber, you want me and Hulk to soften up Dark Avenger before your match?
Bomber: No. I have to beat this man under my own accord. I can do it. And I want to prove to the fans that I can do it too.

(Bryan Deverot walks in and he is sweating. He takes a sit and heavily slumps down next to Bomber.)

Hogan: What’s under your skin Bryan?
Deverot: I just want to kill. Kill that racist bastard Triple K. I hope the presidents sign this match so I can end him. It will be the feel good moment of the year when the teachers are educating the youth of America during Black History Month.
Hooligan: That Triple K is a prick. But he’s got a mean streak on him. You be careful Deverot. I don’t usually say that.

(Tommy “Bruiser” Bradley saunters in and leans up against the wall.)

Bradley: Hey guys, I heard someone mention Klancey’s name.
Deverot: It was me. I hate that Mother… Oh well, I’ll get my turn to mash his head into the canvas.

(The group of wrestlers begin to talk and the camera leaves them to strategizing. The camera turns around and Triple K is around the corner. Eavesdropping on the conversation. He looks visibly angered and he pulls the camera man in close.)

Triple K: You know what I hate? Black people. You know what I hate? Minorities. All of them. You know what I hate? People talking about Triple K. That’s okay. I dub this episode of UWA Survivor; White Fighter Night. Namely Klyde Kooger Klancey. I’m gonna show each person in that room that you shouldn’t talk about ol’ Triple K.

(Triple K smiles and prepares for a long evening of cheating.)


(Rave Bletsch comes onto the camera and begins to report.)

Rave Bletsch: I have just confirmed that none other than Chris Copeland has been in an accident. Folks, as you all know he was driving disturbingly dangerous as he cut through traffic like a hot knife through butter. But the odds caught up with Copeland as he gambled with his life and now he is in serious condition. Cliff Knight, when I had last met up with Copeland, he claimed you had a part to play in all this! What happened between you two!? And why was Copeland at a cemetery? Folks, I’ll try tp meet up with Cliff Knight and get some answers before this night is through!

( The camera turns off and Rave Bletsch grins. Suddenly Creighton Duke slams him into a wall and the two are face-to-face.) Duke: Bletch you son of a bitch, this isn’t your job. You are the sound technician. What the hell is going on!?
Bletsch: What’s going on? I find myself asking that while watching your interviews Duke. You don’t get to the bottom of anything. You just scoot around the big topics. I’m gonna steal your job. Or are you too dense to realize THAT too? Maybe you aren’t cut out for this line of work.

(Bletsch smiles and calmly peels Duke’s fingers off of his finely tailored suit and walks away smiling.


Paul Duffy vs Bryan "Big Show" Deverot

(Downfall plays and Paul Duffy, the Foundation of Sensation marches to the ring oozing confidence. Duffy puts his cowboy hat on a kid’s head and the kid starts freaking out. Duffy continues to dance to the ring and he raises his hands. The fans go ballistic and Duffy is psyched.)

(WEEEELLLLL, Well it the BIIIIG SHOOOWWW! Bryan Deverot chugs to the ring to an equal amount of cheers from the fans! Deverot waves his flabby arms in the air and the fans are loving it. Paul Duffy just guffaws as he watches the morbidly obese wrestler make his way to the ring.) Rudolph: This is quite an odd pairing in the ring tonight. For starters, both are extreme fan favorites and they are bringing two very diverse fighting styles to the ring. One, a high flyer, the other uses his massive size to it’s advantage.

(Deverot and Duffy circle each other and lock up. Deverot, with the obvious strength advantage sends Duffy to the ground, where he quickly gets to his feet and hits Deverot across the chest with a thunderous dropkick. Deverot sways off balance and stumbles back and Duffy is all over him! Duffy begins to smash Deverot into the turnbuckle and slowly Deverot begins to sink to the mat.)

(Duffy backs away and charges in with another dropkick to Deverot, who is sitting in the corner. Deverot throws his arms up in the air and shakes around from the impact. Deverot gets up and Duffy runs up to him and vaults off Deverot’s shoulders, flying up in the air, and as he comes back down, he wraps his legs around Deverot’s head and delivers a hurricaranna into a pin!)

1…2…Deverot groggily kicks out of Duffys aerial attack.

(With renewed vigor, Deverot gets up and Duffy sends him off the ropes! Deverot avoids yet another dropkick from Duffy by performing a cartwheel out of harm’s way. As Duffy gets to his feet he nearly does a backflip from the clothesline Deverot hammered him with. The force sends Duffy to the outside and “The Foundation of Sensation” takes a few steps to clear his head before re-entering.)

(Duffy, now composed, rolls into the ring, and Deverot begins to stomp away on his back. Deverot picks him up by his hair and whips him into the corner. Deverot charges in and comes to avalanche Duffy, but Duffy pulls himself away from the ropes and Deverot crashes into the turnbuckles and takes a few steps back from the impact!)

(As quick as a hiccup, Duffy jumps to the top rope and goes for a hurricaranna off the top! As Duffy lands on Deverot, the BIG Show slams Duffy to the ground with amplitude in the form of a powerbomb!)

1…2…Duffy squeeks a shoulder up!

(Triple K walks to the ring with a shovel in his hand and watches the fight unfold. Deverot notices Triple K and is wary of the man on the outside. Deverot drops an elbow and goes for another cover.)

1…2…Duffy kicks out again!

(Deverot sends Duffy off the ropes and when he gets close, Deverot throws him up in the air and catches him on his back, and delivers a death valley driver! Deverot, wheezing, goes for another pin.)

1…2…DUFFY KICKS OUT AGAIN!

(Deverot just shakes his head and wipes the perspiration off his head. He picks Duffy up and “The Foundation od Sensation” weakly delivers a few shots to Deverot’s gut. Duffy goes for a quick irish whip and CRACK! Triple K levels Deverot with a shot from the shovel to the back of his head!)

(Bryan Deverot is awarded the match as the ref signals for a DQ. Duffy is beside himself! Triple K cost Paul Duffy the match to injure Bryan Deverot!)

Jimmy: That son of a bitch has taken over tonight! He’s doing whatever he wants whenever he wants!
Rudolph: Triple K needs to be stopped!

(Triple K rolls into the ring and gives Deverot a few more courtesy whacks with the shovel!)

Triple K: This is the shovel that I’m going to bury Bryan Deverot with!

(Triple K turns around as Paul Duffy takes it to the air and dropkicks the shovel into his face! Triple K falls to the outside rubbing his face and surveys Deverot, who is holding his head. Triple K barks out a laugh and heads backstage.)

(Paul Duffy just shakes his head at the carnage that had unfolded in the ring and goes to head backstage, but a hand stops him. It’s Bryan Deverot. Deverot has one hand on a gash on his head, and the other is extended in friendship to Paul Duffy.)

(Duffy looks back and forth and the crowd begins to raise in pitch and ferocity. Duffy shakes his hand and Deverot lifts it up and the two are in the ring holding their hands up!)

Rudolph: Duffy overlooked the loss to help Deverot from the clutches from the maniacal Klyde Kooger Klancey.
Jimmy: Goods show from both of these men. It’s a damn shame that Triple K has to taint this night with his pure evil.


Cliff Knight vs Chris Copeland

Jimmy: As you all know, Copeland was in an accident and will not be here tonight. But it is the controversy surrounding what was supposed to be quite an electrifying mat---

(Jimmy is cut off as Rave Bletsch is now on-screen.)

Bletsch: Rave Bletsch here with you as always. I am just outside of Cliff Knight’s locker room and I can hear movement coming from the inside.

(Bletsch knocks on the door and Cliff Knight opens the door. Rave enters the room and shoves the mic in Cliff Knight’s face.)

Bletsch: Mister Knight, as you have probably heard, Chris Copeland was in an accident tonight prior to this match. What are your thoughts on that?
Knight: Well, I wish all the best to Copeland. A speedy recovery and it’s a damn shame because I was looking forward to defeating him here in the squared circle tonight.
Bletsch: Cliff, I managed to catch up with Chris Copeland a few days back and he was in a cemetary. He made reference to you and how the cemetary was suitable considering who his next opponent was. Does that mean anyhting to you?
Knight: Not really. I knew he was in a bit of a funk, but I didn’t think ol’ Copey was gonna change his personality in favour of a goth angle.
Bletsch: Well Mister Knight, I assure you, it’s not that at all! You see, I looked at the two gravestones in the cemetary and it was the tombstones of his wife! His wife Mister Knight, and the other… His only child. Both deceased. Because of you. Because of you Mister Knight! You are a murderer and I intend to get to the bottom of this very story.
Knight: (Obviously shocked!) Listen Dave, or Rave, or whatever the hell your name is. I don’t know what the hell you are talking about, but I didn’t kill anyone and until it is proved otherwise, you can kish my ass!
Bletsch: You are getting awefully defensive Mister Knight! What are you hiding!?

(Knight slams the door and Rave turns to the camera satisfied.)

Bletsch: There you have it folks, angry words, from a guilty man. A man who had some part to play in the death of Chris Copeland’s family. I will keep you posted as I peel back the layers and uncover this story from top to bottom. Rave Bletsch for UWA Survivor, over and out.


Tag Team Match
Hardcore Hogan & "Hardcore Hooligan" Johnny Damage vs Evan Drexxler & Dynamite Newton

(Johnny Damage and Hardcore Hogan are chillin’ at Party Central with the lovely Alexis.)

Johnny Damage: Now you see this? (grabs a roll of barbed wire) You’ve just gotta wrap this around your leg like how I am doing to my body like-so!
Hardcore Hogan: YOU KNOW SOMETHING LITTLE DUDE! We’ll see about that one later in the match, little dude. Right now, all I gotta say is WHAT YOU GONNA DO!?! WHAT YOU GONNA DO, Newton when the Hardcore Legdrop is dropped on YOU??? WHAT YOU GONNA DO Drexxler when Damage 180’s ON YOU!?! WHAT YOU GONNA DO WHEN THE AGE AND THE RAGE COMES CRASHING DOWN ON YOU!!!
Johnny Damage: AHHHHHHH, That’s MUCH BETTA!!! [In the gym at the Ice Palace…] (Drexxler is bench pressing while Dynamite Newton is spotting for him)

Evan Drexxler: You know Dynamite. I kinda miss that little Myron from UWA Survivor I. Have you heard of anything from him?
Dynamite Newton: Who? That mentally handicapped kid in the wheelchair. How should I know.
(Drexxler lifts the largely weighted barbell one last time before putting it back in its place. Sweat drips from his brow and he wipes it off with his towel)

Dynamite Newton: I just don’t get it Drex. You sit here pumping iron all day and beefing yourself up to no end but you get pleasure from teaching those little fellas. Why?

Evan Drexxler: (Drexxler puts the towel down beside him and they both get up after their pre-match warm-up) You know, Newt. You have to try it at-hand. And then you realize that these kids are the future of North America… (while walking and talking Drexxler opens the door outside the gym)

(Suddenly a large amount of kids swarm around Evan Drexxler and all that he can do it smile. Kids are hugging his left and right legs while he stands there smiling.)

Dynamite Newton: C’mon, Drex. We have a match.

Evan Drexxler: You know Dynamite Newton. This is what I truly miss. (the kids are surrounding him giving him unconditional love) (Evan Drexxler kneels on one knee)

Evan Drexxler: Boys and girls, I am sorry but I have to go right now. But I’ll be back. You can count on me getting back in the classroom and teaching you knowledge-the most powerful tool of them all.

(“Hardcore Hooligan” by Business begins to play and Hardcore Hogan along with Johnny Damage and Alexis walk onto the entrance ramp. Hardcore Hogan is waving his hand around his ear while Damage is giving five to the fans.)

Jimmy: This an odd duo we have here but they are grouped up because of one common denominator. And that is the element of hardcore.
Rudolph: Two contradicting styles of hardcore. The new and the old.
Jimmy: Two contradicting styles of age. The youth and the old.
Rudolph: Two contradicting styles of body size. The bony and the beefy.
Jimmy: This is a team made in heaven Rudy.

(Johnny Damage and Hogan await in the ring when Scorpions “Rock You Like a Hurricane” begin to blare. Drexxler steps out onto the rampway followed by Dynamite Newton. Suddenly a swarm of kids appear and Drexxler drops down to one knee again. Drexxler signals for them to flee the area and they comply with Drexxler’s commands. Newton enters the ring along with Drexxler. Hogan points at Drexxler and it’s a POSEDOWN! Hogan starts flexing his 24-inch pythons and Drexxler poses his more muscular arms. Hogan gets a bit jealous and rakes the back of Drexxler.)

Jimmy: The bell sounds and we’re off!

(Hogan squares up with Drexxler to start. Hogan nails a few hardshots to the skull of Drexxler and tosses him against the ropes. Lowering his head for a back-body-drop, Hogan gets kicked square in the temple by Drexxler. Drexxler follows it up by opening his repertoire of moves with a ¾ nelson ddt! Hogan’s bald head is dropped into the mat and he immediately tags his partner.)

(Juiced up on adrenaline, Johnny Damage comes in swinging with a flying elbow. Drexxler is smashed into ropes. Damage puts the cherry on top by annihilating Drexxler with a devastating clothesline. Both men tumble on the outside and Hogan attacks Dynamite Newton. Damage attempts to Irish Whip Drexxler into the turnbuckle but Damage ends up with a face full of metal. Hogan starts smashing Newton with his open fist and Newton retaliates with some of his own. Hogan rakes the eyes and unravels the first turnbuckle. Drexxler is on the outside and he Gorilla Presses Damage from the outside to the inside.)

Jimmy: Check out the raw power of Drexxler.
Rudolph: But he has that soft side to him, too.

(Hogan pulls out a banana peel from the turnbuckle! He places the banana peel on the ground like a sneaky vagabond and goes back to his corner. Damage crawls up to Drexxler and unloads a right fist into the stomach! Drexxler backs up to the turnbuckle and Alexis hands in his Singapore Cane! Drexxler gets caught right in between the eyes and the crack is heard from all around the World! Hogan wants the tag and gets it. He pulls off his belt and he lashes Drexxler across the back! Damage smashes the right ankle of Drexxler and Hogan gives another clean shot to the back! Drexxler falls flat on his face and tags Newton. Newton starts tapping his feet on the ground like he was in the old west!)

(Damage swings his cane wildly but Newton blocks the shot and punches him down! Hogan tries to lash Newton but he receives a knuckle sandwich! Newton grabs a head full of electric-blue hair but Damage gives a cheap-low-blow to Newton. Hogan is on the top rope and he yells at Johnny Damage.)

Hardcore Hogan: Duck!

(Johnny Damage ducks and Hardcore Hogan drop-kicks Drexxler who was blatantly going in for the kill! Damage gives the thumbs up to Hogan and sees Dynamite Newton behind him with a chair. Now Damage yells at Hogan.)

Johnny Damage: DUCK!

(Hardcore Hogan ducks. Damage picks up Hogan’s belt and whips Newton! Newton tumbles out of the ring and rolls on the concrete.)

Hardcore Hogan: OK, little dude!

(Hardcore Hogan lifts up Johnny Damage in the air and throws him out of the ring. Johnny Damage waves his arms like a bird and capitalizes on Dynamite Newton’s demise! But Drexxler, out of nowhere, catches Hogan in the back with a double ax-handle! Hogan rolls between the middle and bottom rope and all four men are on the outside. Drexxler climbs the top rope and drop-kicks Hogan with authority. Hogan collides into the railing. Johnny Damage has the head of Dynamite Newton bottled up in his armpit. He starts scratching it against the railings giving him the biggest-face-rub-ever.)

Jimmy: That ought to hurt.

(Suddenly, the light shines on the entrance way. Drexxler’s class room comes out to the ramp way to cheer on their teacher. Without hesitation, Evan Drexxler runs to the entrance and gathers all the kids up. Taking a lot of time, one kid is left behind. It’s the trouble-maker kid-Roberto! Hardcore Hogan finds his opportunity and plants Drexxler in the back! Drexxler lies on the ground leaning on his left rib so he can see Hardcore Hogan. Hogan grabs Roberto by the shoulders and he trips on the rampway scared of Hogan’s immense body.)

Drexxler: NOOOOO!

(Hogan goes for the legdrop!!! But Drexxler pushes little Roberto out of the way and takes a leg drop for his student!)

(Hogan stands up and chuckles at Johnny Damage who is rubbing Newton’s face along the top rope. Damage springs back and rolls up Newton for the pin.)

1…2.. (Dynamite Newton kicks out!)

Jimmy: Who’s the legal man in this thing.
Rudolph: I guess Newton and Damage!

(Damage perches on the top rope and raises his hands. He snarls and then drops a huge barbwire body splash onto Dynamite Newton. Hardcore Hogan enters the ring and Johnny Damage immediately goes to his bag of hardcore weapons. He pulls out a yarn of barbed-wire and wraps it around Hogan’s right leg. Hogan starts shaking his head like he doesn’t want to explore the new generation of hardcore wrestling. But he still goes with it. Drexxler is running in for the savior but Damage connects with a Singapore Cane shot to the chin! Hogan runs off the ropes and drops a greasy barbed wire leg drop over the neck. Newton squeals and Damage is on the top rope! Damage goes 180 degrees, with barbed wire wrapped on him like a Christmas present, and connects with a frog splash!)

1…2… (Evan Drexxler goes for the save but Hardcore Hogan’s boot halts his effort) …3 (Johnny Damage pins Dynamite Newton!)

Jimmy: OH MY!!!

(The ref grabs both their arms and raise them high into the air! Damage and Hogan beat Drexxler and Newton!)

Jimmy: Nice cohesiveness shown by Damage and Hogan.

(Suddenly, Klyde Kooger Klancey charges out with a steel-chair-in-hand. Klancey strikes Hogan once. Damage turns around and then gets clubbed on the forehead! THE SOUTH SHALL RISE AGAIN! Klyde Kooger Klancey raises his arms in the air. Damage and Hogan lie on the ground… Drexxler and Newton are walking back in defeat…)


Old School UWA Brawl
Tommy "Bruiser" Bradley vs Klyde Kooger Klancey

Jimmy: This is an old school UWA war we have here.
Rudolph: The two wrestlers that have made the greatest impact on the UWA are here toe-to-toe in the ring, tonight.
Jimmy: This is a dream come true.
Rudolph: The kids have been dreaming for this one for quite sometime and the wish has come true. Klancey vs Bradley right now!

(THE SOUTH SHALL RISE AGAIN! “Blue Monday” by Orgy blares and Klyde Kooger Klancey emerges. He has a Christmas tree raised high up in the air when he walks down to the ring. He throws the tree into the ring and sees a Mexican man in the audience. Klancey points at the Mexican and then slaps him across the face. The foreigner climbs over the rails as security swarm the Mexican man and take him backstage. Klancey laughs and then enters the ring to wait for Tommy Bradley.)

Jimmy: Klancey brought a Christmas Tree as a weapon of choice tonight!
Rudolph: What’ch you doin’ Klacney? Picking fights with fans?

(YOU STAND BEFORE THIS COURT ACCUSED OF HERATHY AND WITCHCRAFT. HOW DO YOU PLEAD??? GUILTY!!!! The guitars start roaring and Tommy Bradley appears with two flags in his hands. The fans detonate with explosive cheers! Bradley, wearing a “Lemmy for President” t-shirt enters the ring with a mic-in-hand.)

Tommy Bradley: Helllo, Juneau!!!

(The fans love this guy. Bradley raises his left hand-the Confederate flag. The fans are quiet… Bradley raises his right hand-the United States flag. The fans vociferously cheer for the US flag and Bradley pulls out a lighter. He flicks it twice and the Confederate flag catches like it was previously dipped in gasoline. He waves the burnt flag around and Klyde Kooger Klancey angrily comes in with a running clothesline! The flag falls to the outside and Klancey grabs the Christmas tree. He swings and hits Bradley right into the corner. Klancey charges at Bradley with the tree like a jousting stick. Bradley gets stabbed three times in the chest before Klancey throws the tree to the outside. Klancey goes for the quick roll-up-pin.)

1… (Tommy Bradley kicks out!)

(Klancey launches Bradley into the ropes but it’s reversed! Klancey rebounds back and receives a devastating powerslam bouncing on the canvas! Bradley goes for the quick cover.)

1… (Klancey kicks out!)

(Klancey is quick to his feet and blocks a right fist from Tommy Bradley. Bradley starts swinging lefts and rights but none prevail. Klancey drives a headbutt into the chin of Bradley! And Bradley tumbles to the outside.)

(Klancey finds the confederate flag on the ground and starts poking Bradley with the red-hot-end of the flag! Bradley feels the burn running through his veins when Klancey drops the flag onto the ground. Klancey gathers Bradley and Irish Whips him directly into the steel guard-railing. Klancey, like a Jason Vorhees, just keeps on coming back at Tommy Bradley with everything he’s got. With the strength of an animal, Klancey lifts the steel steps into the air and rams them into the back of Tommy Bradley.)

Jimmy: Look at the strength of Klancey, impressive!

(Klancey throws Bradley into the ring and he climbs the turnbuckle. Showing great agility for a bigman, Klancey moonsaults!!! Bradley rolls out of the way in the nick of time and Klancey hits nothing-but-canvas! Klancey holds his chest in pain and Bradley capitalizes on Klancey’s misfortunes.)

Jimmy: Klancey misses a moonsault! A MOONSAULT, RUDY!

(Klyde Kooger Klancey rests face-first on the canvas while Bradley climbs the top rope. Bradley flies in the air like an eagle and drops a double-foot-stomp on Klancey’s massive frame!)

Jimmy: SOUTH TROY STOMP! SOUTH TROY STOMP!

(Bradley drags Klancey to the turnbuckle and ties his feet up in the tree of woe position! Klancey is upside-down and catches in the corner of his eye Bradley reaching for the US flag. He starts to wave it around the ring to get the fans even more hyped! Bradley, who does not play golf, swung like Happy Gilmore on this glorious night. Bradley does a windmill-like-swing with a running motion and connects into the face of Klyde Kooger Klancey! Klancey slowly stumbles out of the corner in pain and Bradley catches Klancey from behind. In a spinning-motion, he delivers a cradle piledriver dropping Klyde on his bald, fat head!)

1…2…3 (Tommy Bradley scores the victory over Klyde!)

Jimmy: Nice match-up guys. Tonight Bradley had more strength to defeat Klyde Kooger Klancey!

Dark Avenger vs Chris Bomber

(Dark Avenger’s music “Beyond the Black” begins to play and Dark Avenger guns the engine of his motorcycle to the ring. He slowly rides to the ring and when he stops, he adjusts his mask and steps into the ring.)

(Poem by Taproot begins to play and Bomber walks to the ring dragging a glass table behind him! The fans are going crazy and using a tremendous strength, Bomber presses the table over his head and continues to the ring! Chris “the Mad” Bomber opens up the table and enters the ring.)

(The two are staring each other down, when “Bullets” by Creed begins to play and President Kingsly steps out from behind the curtain.)

Kingsly: I have noticed that there is quite a rivalry going on between you two and a regular match won’t be enough to fully display your hatred. So I am changing the game tonight! I want the ref to leave the ring and set up two tables around the table! The first wrestler to put his opponent through two table is the winner!

Jimmy: Awesome! A best 2-out-of-3 tables match! One of these men will go through two tables before the night is through!
Rudolph: Well, the presidents always pull out this match once in a while when the situation calls for it!
Jimmy: And now more ever, we need this match!

(The bell rings and Bomber snares Dark Avenger in a hammerlock and kicks out the back of his knees! Bomber applies a sleeper from the back and on the outside, the ref sets up a table.)

(The ref slides the last table into the ring so it can be used as a weapon. Dark Avenger stands up with Chris Bomber hanging off his back. Dark Avenger reaches from behind and flips Bomber over his shoulder. Dark Avenger gets in a few more shots as Bomber get to his feet and scoops him up for a bodyslam. Dark Avenger sets up the table while Bomber recuperates.)

(Bomber is quick to recover and sends Dark Avenger into the corner! Bomber runs to the opposite side, leaps off the table, which is set up in the middle of the ring and crashes into Avenger!)

(Avenger goes to the outside and Bomber launches himself over the top rope and crashes onto Dark Avenger with a flying overhead cross body! Bomber pulls Avenger over to the closest table to them and Avenger wants none of it.)

(Bomber reaches under the table and pulls out a garbage can! He throws it into the ring and Dark Avenger kicks the can away. Bomber slides in with a chair and and whacks Avenger with it! Avenger is stunned and Bomber puts the garbage can over his head and upper body! Bomber whacks Avenger again and Avenger falls against the ropes! On the rebound, Bomber delivers a back body drop OVER THE TOP ROPE and through a table on the outside!)

Chris Bomber takes the lead 1-0 in the table match.

(Dark Avenger is groggy outside the ring, and Bomber tries to capitalize by taking Avenger over to the glass table. Avenger is horribly shaken and just falls over from the incredible impact. Avenger slides out of the garbage can and he is bleeding profusely.)

Jimmy: CAN YOU BELIEVE IT! DARK AVENGER WENT UP AND OVER THE TOP ROPE AND CRASHED THROUGH THE TABLE BELOW! HOW IS THIS MAN STANDING!?

(Dark Avenger is still trying to roll away and Bomber hops on his back and applies a camel clutch! Dark Avenger is writhing in pain and Bomber just lets the pain sink in and disable Dark Avenger even more.)

(Dark Avenger is wearing a crimson mask and he is stumbling around wiping the gout of blood off his face. Bomber looks disgusted at the amout of blood dripping from Dark Avenger’s mask and Bomber runs off the ropes and as he approaches, he scoops Dark Avenger for a belly to belly overhead suplex!)

Rudolph: Tremendous power at the hands of Chris Bomber!

(Bomber is rolling along and as Dark Avenger stands on mere intestinal fortitude, Bomber crashes him down with a famasser off the second rope! Dark Avenger is stumbling around and Bomber sets up a chair. Dark Avenger stands and rests against the ropes and Bomber comes in and grabs Dark Avenger around the head. Dark Avenger with an explosion of strength, snaps Bomber into the air, and slams him to the ground with an olympic slam!)

Rudolph: Dark Avenger seems to have nothing left after that devastating fall over the top rope and through a table.
Jimmy: But give him credit. He managed to deliver an olympic slam!

(Dark Avenger wipes away the blood from his face and slowly gets up. Dark Avenger leans on the table in the ring, which is still erected. Bomber, gets up, runs, and jumps as he spins to tackle Dark Avenger, Avenger grabs him in mid-air by the throat and delivers a spinning baldo bomb through the table in the ring!!)

Dark Avenger ties the match at 1 table apiece.

(The two UWA warriors are lying amidst the rubble of the second table and Dark Avenger rolls outside of the ring like a bloody mess. Bomber rolls out the other side and grabs a chair. Dark Avenger also grabs a chair and the two come at each other and strike the chairs. The reverberation causes them to drop the chairs and Bomber performs a short arm clothesline.)

(Bomber gets onto Dark Avenger’s Harley and crashes into Dark Avenger!! Avenger slumps to the ground and Bomber prepares to finish Dark Avenger with his finisher, Bomb’s Away! A lionsault with a diamond cutter through the glass table on the outside! Bomber tosses Dark Avenger down and mounts the apron. When Dark Avenger gets up, he prepares to deliver his finisher. Dark Avenger get up and Bomber bounces on the second turnbuckle and soars through the air! Avenger walks straight into the moonsualt, but before Bomber could turn over and deliver the Diamond Cutter, Avenger grabs him in mid-air again and delivers a jumping powerslam through the glass table!)

Dark Avenger defeats Chris Bomber 2-1 in the 2-of-3 tables match!!

Jimmy: Dark Avenger stated that for every move, there is a counter, and Dark Avenger coutered the Bomb’s Away through a table made of glass!
Rudolph: If this was a regular match, do you think Bomber would have kicked out of that move?
Jimmy: I don’t know, Bomber’s tough. But is the THAT tough!?
Rudolph: That was probably one of the most intense matches I have seen in a while!
Jimmy: I’ll give both of those guys credit. They are tough as nails!

(Dark Avenger painfully stumbles to his Harley and rides out. Bomber is sitting up, wiping blood out of his face and he looks upset. He gets up and heads back to the locker room looking dissapointed.)


IME - King of the Hill
Elimination Style Triple Threat
Pinfall, Submission, No Count out
Lou Carbo vs Jason Ross vs Chainsaw Masaca

(A camera swoops around the tallest mountain in North America- Mt. McKinley)

Jimmy: Welcome to Mt. McKinley…20,320 feet in height, and the tallest mountain in North America. Lou Carbo, Jason Ross and Chainsaw Masaca will be lifted great lengths to the top of this very large mountain. The three will be put to the physical, mental and psychological test of beating an opponent on a mountain top.

(The camera stops it’s circular motion and is centered at the mountain peak. It quickly zooms into the pin-point-peak and shows a helicopter approaching Mt. McKinley)

Rudolph: All three wrestlers have been training to great-length’s for this one, Jimmy.
Jimmy: We have a back-up medical helicopter just-in-case.
Rudolph: Jimmy and I are getting out of this one. So goodnight, folks!

(The scene shows a whirlwind of air caused by a landing helicopter. Lou Carbo and Jason Ross escape the chopper separately… They both are wearing parkas and have grown miniature beards for warmth. Chainsaw Masaca exits the helicopter with a chainsaw-in-hand. A select group of camera men then exit the helicopter and watch from a distance.)

(All three men are covered in warmth. But they also are mobile which makes it much easier for wrestling. Lou Carbo and Jason Ross already are talking to strategy to win the immunity main event. Chainsaw Masaca is lying down in the snow like a military sniper. Jason Ross and Lou Carbo cannot see this camouflaged man.)

Jason Ross: Lou, you go right. I’ll cover this area.
Lou Carbo: Yes, master... I meant yes, Jay.

(The camera man zooms in on the face of Chainsaw Masaca who is smiling profusely on watchful-eye. Lou Carbo approaches the camouflaged Chainsaw Masaca grabs his leg with a take down. A package of wind blows in the air and catches the attention of Jason Ross. Ross runs in the snow but falls to the ground because of its incredible depth. Carbo is on the ground when Chainsaw Masaca is smothering him with punches to the face. Jason Ross finally makes it and spears Chainsaw Masaca off of his buddy-Lou Carbo. Chainsaw Masaca somersaults backwards and stands back on his feet.)

(Masaca pounds his fist into his open palm and signals for Jason Ross to attack. Jason Ross charges at Masaca like a rabid bull! Masaca ducks a clothesline attempt and Jason Ross falls down 6 meters down the mountain. Masaca chuckles to himself and grabs Lou Carbo by his jacket collar. With tremendous strength, he hoists the small man up into the air with a gorilla press. Chainsaw Masaca notices a running Jason Ross and he launches the Lou Carbo’s corpse into Jason Ross. Both men tumble 8 meters down the mountain. Masaca follows and executes a running drop-kick knocking Lou Carbo 25 meters down the mountain in a rolling-confusion. The ref is struggling to catch up with the wrestlers.)

(Chainsaw, like a monkey on a banana, rolls down 30 meters down the hill at tumbles right beside his opponent. Lou Carbo picks up a rock-like chunk of snow and throws it in the direction of Masaca’s face. But Masaca, quick and nimble for a big guy, rolls another 8 meters down from the mountain peek. The Ref and Jason Ross finally catch up to the fight as they slowly descend to the battle between Masaca and Lou Carbo. Masaca is pouding Lou Carbo into an oblivion until Ross comes out of nowhere with a flying clothesline from a higher point on the mountain.)

(The helicopter swoops into the scene and creates a miniature snow tornado where Masaca, Carbo and Ross are. Carbo and Ross look up at the helicopter but Chainsaw Masaca unloads a double clothesline knocking both men to the ground with this devastation! Both men are rocked and lay side-by-side when Chainsaw Masaca climbs the hill! He stands at a higher point with his arms in the air. Chainsaw Masaca free-falls for good two and a half second before crushing both men with a flying cross-body! Both men fall into the snow and close their eyes. But Masaca’s momentum has him hanging off the ledge of the mountain holding on for dear-life!)

(The camera sees a picture of Chainsaw Masaca holding on with both hands on the ledge of Mt. McKinley! Masaca roars and lifts himself back on stable ground! He sees Lou Carbo and Jason Ross resting side-by-side and he stands on both opponents’ frames with his two-feet. He raises his arms in the air and the referee counts.)

1…2…3 (Chainsaw Masaca destroys Lou Carbo and Jason Ross!)

(The helicopter comes in close and Chainsaw Masaca gets picked up. But this match is far from over! It’s elimination style! In exchange for Chainsaw Masaca, President Pondababa and a medic exits from the helicopter. The medic gives some breaths of fresh air to Lou Carbo and Jason Ross and both men slowly stand up to their feet.)

President Pondababa: I know you two are friends from PoW and I know that this is the last thing that you guys probably want to do. But, it has to be done. The fight must go on. Are you okay to fight?

(Lou Carbo nods his head and Jason Ross has eyes of determination.)

President Pondababa: (pats both men on their backs) This is the last thing that the Ultimate Wrestling Alliance wants. We don’t want to break up a friendship like yours. But this is business. Business is beyond friendship. Let the fighting begin.

(President Pondababa walks back into the helicopter as it swoops away with Chainsaw Masaca within. Masaca has already gained immunity.)

(This is an old classic friend versus friend battle we have here. Ross stares into the eyes of Lou Carbo)


DOWNLOAD THIS SONG TO HELP UNDERSTAND THE MOOD THAT BOTH WRESTLERS ARE IN


They’re forced to fight for team immunity… But they don’t want to do it. Lou Carbo looks up into the eyes of Jason Ross. And you can tell by the expression in there eyes that they both don’t want this to go down. Carbo lowers his head as a gust of wind sweeps through the air. Both men just stand there without fighting and the helicopter returns. President Pondababa hops out of the helicopter and approaches both men.)

President Pondababa: Now what can I possibly do to get you two friends to fight?

(Pondababa looks at the two of them and they are speechless)

President Pondababa: You have nothing to say? I’ve spent six months of my life and my entire life-savings trying to organize UWA Survivor 2 and this is what I get? If you didn’t want to fight, then why did you come? Maybe this might change your opinion of fighting…

(The helicopter flies slightly over top of the two guys and Chainsaw Masaca again comes diving out of the helicopter with a double clothesline!)

President Pondababa: Whoever Masaca pins… That’s the team that has to vote tonight!

(Pondababa escapes the madness when Chainsaw Masaca is swinging his chainsaw around in circular motions! He clubs Jason Ross with the back-end of the chainsaw and he goes flying 40 feet down the mountain! Lou Carbo is on his knees in front of Masaca. In one big-jerking motion he lifts up Carbo and stuns him on the way down {OSAKA STREET CUTTER!}!!! Carbo drops to the ground like a dead squirrel and Masaca goes for the pin!

1…2…3 (Lou Carbo ultimately loses the match!)

(Chainsaw Masaca finds his lost chainsaw and holds it high-in-the-air. With Carbo battered-and-beaten on the ground in front of him, the scene slowly fades away. It temporarily fades back in with a UWA Survivor 2 logo but fades back out.)

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