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LOCATION: Las Vegas, Nevada ARENA: Caesar's Palace DATE: Thursday, January 3, 2003 REMAINING WRESTLERS: 13
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(In a hallway in the back of the arena. Two men stand at the drinks machine that stands on the right. Those two men are Dynamite Newton and FakePac. Newton is picking out a drink as FakePac begins the conversation.)
FakePac: So is Braz coming?
Dynamite Newton: He's doing me a favour. He will show up later.
FakePac: What favour? I could of done you a favour thats why you hired
Me.
Dynamite Newton: This is something only Braz could do. It involves an
old friend of ours and a few prison guards.
FakePac: You guys arent planning on busting out a friend are you?
Dynamite Newton: No man. Look heres the story, about 10 year back we
was all out on the pull me, Braz, and Jimmy. Jimmy's drinking got a bit
out of hand and well lets just say he landed himself a 10 year sentence.
FakePac: Oh. So what is Braz doing.
Dynamite Newton: He's making sure we can go see him later. He's in a
maximum security prison otherwise known as the Tank.
FakePac: OK ill shut up about it now.
Dynamite Newton: Good idea.
(Newton collects his drink and both men walk off down the hallway. They reach locker room number 12 and both men walk in. In the locker room sitting on a leather sofa is Evan Drexxler. Drexxler is looking over a UWA Survivor magazine as he see's Newton and FakePac walk in.)
Dynamite Newton: Hey Drexx.
Evan Drexxler: Hey Newt.
Dynamite Newton: Ready to kick ass tonight?
Evan Drexxler: As always.
Dynamite Newton: Survivor Series rules, 3 remaining men. Dynamite
Newton and Evan Drexxler. There cannot be a different outcome.
Evan Drexxler: I hear that.
(The entire group of Mixed Bag incorporated are standing in a circle with their heads bowed. Dark Avenger seems to be leading a dark sermon to fuel his teammates with power.)
Dark Avenger: And let Satan lead us into battle for victory absolute.
Triple K: And let our enemies be black so I can smile with each kill.
Chainsaw Masaca: And let me turn Cliff Knight’s skull into a pablum-like slime.
Copeland: And Uh… Let their eyes fall out of their heads.
Dark Avenger: Alright my minions of darkness. We are the only team that is still complete. We need to solidify our superiority by winning tonights IME. So Masaca. The pressure is on you the most tonight.
Masaca: I know.
(Hardcore Hooligan is having his usual drinkfest before the nights events and Hardcore Hogan is there with Chris Bomber. The three chillin’ and illin’. Hogan has a brick and he continues to throw it against the wall of the room. Hooligan is bobbling Alexis on his lap and shakes his head like skinny loeppky.)
(Cliff Knight and Paul Duffy are sitting in the staff lounge having coffee and it seems Knight is giving pointers to the young gun known as Cliff Knight.)
Cliff Knight: Thirdly, always be aware of your ring position. That way you can just flop a leg over the bottom rope.
Duffy: Yeah, I guess I never thought about that.
Knight: Fourth, Let your skills carry you like a bat being smashed like a ball hit by Sammy Sosa. And fifth…
Duffy: Yeah?
Knight: Never… Ever… Fuck with Cliff Knight.
Duffy: Umm, alright. Hey, I gotta go.
(Tommy Bradley enters the arena and he has something inside a large duffel bag. Whatever is inside seems to move every once in a while, and just before Bradley rounds the corner, a small, midget-like hand emerges from the bag.)
(The show ignites and the pyro’s explode! Lights are flashing and the fans are screaming like they just got tear gassed by the gestapo.)
Rudolph: We are live here in Caeser’s Palace and and this was the final location for the last Survivor! Now, we are here again to watch thirteen wrestlers put their souls on the line.
Jimmy: Tonight, we are kicking this off with a streetfight! Paul Duffy fights the undefeated Dark Avenger!
Rudolph: And Tommy Bradley gets a raw deal as he has to fight Chris Copeland AND Triple K! What did Bradley do to merit that match!? And what was in his duffel bag?
Jimmy: The 3-man elimination match involving The Age and the Rage, Hardcore Hogan and Johnny Damage! Chris Bomber completes the triad of power. Their opponents, Evan Drexxler, Dynamite Newton, and Bryan Deverot.
Rudoloph: This match looks pretty cut and dried. I think Cookie and Creams is a big underdog in this match.
Jimmy: And we end this night with an Immunity Main Event Ladder Match! Cliff Knight takes on Chainsaw Masaca! Chainsaw Masaca is hot right now.
Rudolph: Chainsaw Masaca sold the body and jumped from the top of the cage to get the win.
Jimmy: Let’s get these battles rolling out!
Paul Duffy vs Dark Avenger
(Duffy staggers against the wall and Dark Avenger goes in for the kill! Duffy is trying to regroup and Dark Avenger smashes his head against the brick wall he is resting against.)
(Dark Avenger is stopped momentarily by a vicious eye gouge and Duffy jumps to knock Avenger down with a flying cross-body! Avenger catches him in mid-air and slams him to the ground onto the broken glass! Duffy is lying on the ground… Resting. Avenger grabs a large piece of glass and begins to fillet Duffy’s face!)
(Duffy is groggy and Avenger Places him face down on his shoulders. With strength and grace, Avenger performs an F5 and sends Duffy spinning through the front windshield of an 83’ Buick! Duffy is resting on the dashboard and Avenger continues the assault.)
(Avenger punches through the driver side window and grabs Duffy by the throat and pulls him through the remainder of the window, further adding to the lacerations decorating Duffy’s body.)
(At this point, Duffy’s flight senses kick in and somehow, he gets to his feet and starts to run! He re-enters the building and is running down the hallways smearing the blood from his hands onto the white walls, in a grotesque fashion.)
(As Duffy turns the corner, as if by magic. Dark Avenger is standing there. Waiting. Duffy turns around and goes to run. But almost as if Avenger had the power of Jason Voorhees, he is now behind Duffy! Duffy squeels and Avenger grabs him by the throat! Avenger drags Duffy back to the alley and chokeslams him onto the hood of the tattered 83’ Buick!)
(Dark Avenger places Duffy on his shoulders like a Rebel Rack and delivers a Burning Hammer!!)
1…2…3! Dark Avenger manipulates Paul Duffy’s body to earn the victory!
(Dark Avenger wraps chains around Duffy’s feet and walks around the corner of the building. It seems he is attaching the chain to something else! Dark Avenger rolls the Harley into view and the chain is attached to the Harley! Dark Avenger guns the engine and Duffy gets to his feet in an attempt to run! Duffy realizes he is beyond saving and he holds a hand out towards the camera with a look of fear and acceptance in his eyes. Dark Avenger takes off and Duffy falls, and is dragged out of sight! Duffy continued to reach for the camera even as his body was being shredded.)
([Backstage]: Cliff Knight is looking into Duffy’s eyes as he reaches for the camera. Knight just grins and touches the hand of Duffy on the monitor.)
([Backstage]: (The camera comes on once again in the locker room. We see Evan Drexxler accompanied by Ms. Simmons walking down the hallway. As he reaches the locker room door Bryan Deverot catches up with him. They shake hands.)
Deverot: How’s it going?
(As Evan and Deverot enter their locker room we see the sight that we
saw earlier as it is trashed. Dynamite Newton is standing in the locker
room in awe over the mess that is around him. Evan’s eyes widen as he
pushes past Newton and drops to his knees in front of his bag.)
Evan: Oh, man. Where’s my medicine? My pills had better be here.
(At this point Ms. Simmons, who has been standing by the door aside
from the rest of them, slides out without the three men seeing her.
Deverot and Newton stand over Evan and look down at him.)
Deverot: Is everything okay?
(Evan looks up and there is a look of sheer horror on his face.)
Evan: My pills are missing.
(Newton nods his head yes.)
Evan: Well, unless you want to deal with him again we need to find those pills.
(Deverot looks very confused.)
Deverot: What’s going on? Who is Ixon and what’s in those pills?
(Deverot now catches on.)
Deverot: Ixon!
(All three men start searching for the pills as the camera changes
scenes. The scene cuts to the office of the presidents. There is a knock
at their door and Ms. Simmons comes in.)
Ponda: Any news?
(Ms. Simmons’ head is bowed a bit.)
Ms. Simmons: Yes, Evan has lost his medication.
(Those simple words are all it takes to put an evil smile on the faces
of president Ponda and Kingsly.)
Kingsly: Good, perfect timing.
(Ms. Simmons looks a bit at shame as she leaves the area. The camera
comes back to the locker room as the three men search around for the
pill container. Suddenly the speakers come on.)
Speakers: Evan Drexxler to the Presidents office please!
(Evan storms off as the other to continue to keep searching.)
Evan: Pretty good big man, how about you?
Deverot: Good, Ready for our match?
Evan: You know I am.
Newton: So?
Evan: Do you remember Ixon?
Evan: I have a defect in my mudulah omblimgota those pills are a mix of
sedatives and tranquilizers that shut it off. If I don’t have them my
anger rises and I lose control. Turning into something more of an
animal or a demon than a man.
Evan: Crap! I’ve got to go. Keep looking.
Chris Copeland & Klyde Kooger Klancey vs Tommy "Bruiser" Bradley
Klyde Kooger Klancey: (while licking his lips) I will picture the face of Martin Luther King on Tommy Bradley, tonight.
Chris Copeland: Yea,
(Knock, Knock, Knock. President Kingsly barges into the room with a document in his hand. He starts tapping it on Klyde’s chest.)
President Kingsly: Are you guys ready for your handicap match? Well. Are you?
Klyde Kooger Klancey: Yea, we’re going to end Bradley’s career tonight.
Chris Copeland: What’s the catch?
President Kingsly: Ah, very perceptive Mr. Copeland. I am giving you guys Tommy Bradley on a silver plater. If you guys lose tonight, you will face each other in next weeks I-M-E.
Klyde Kooger Klancey: But we’re on the same team!!!
President Kingsly: That’s true. But if you win, you won’t have anything to worry about. Isn’t that right, gentlemen?
(With dull expressions on their face)
Copeland and Klancey: Yea, I guess…
(Tommy Bradley has his big dufflebag along with a hockey stick in his right hand. The duffelbag has been put to sleep, temporarily of course. Bradley, greasy like a side of bacon, walks down the shadowed hallway. Along the way, Bradley starts swinging the duffelbag like a windmill. Like a disgruntled Fed EX mailman, he bashes the duffelbag into the wall on his long walk down the hallway. In the distance he hears: YOU STAND BEFORE THIS COURT ACCUSED OF HERATHY AND WITCHCRAFT, HOW DO YOU PLEAD!?! The atmosphere turns from dark to light. Flash photography goes wild and the spotlight shines like the sun. Bradley raises his arms in the air walking down the aisle. He lies the duffelbag aside and enters the ring)
(THE SOUTH SHALL RISE AGAIN! Aenema by Tool kicks in and dressed in orange Chris Copeland emerges from the curtains. Klyde Kooger Klancey wearing a wife-beater and jeans talks trash with a few black men in the crowd. Both wrestlers enter the ring and the bell sounds.)
(Tommy Bradley comes out smashin’. With a rock-hard elbow, Bradley blazes Copeland in the backside of the skull and he falls to the outside. Klancey watches Copeland fall to the outside and Bradley goes to the corner where he hid a chair before the match! Klancey turns around and is striked like a heat-seeking-missile by the hardore-hand of Tommy Bruiser’s steel chair. Klancey falls like he has just been blessed for all his sins. Bradley rolls up the leg for the pin.)
1.. (Klyde Kooger Klancey kicks out!)
Jimmy: WOW! Bradley has come here to fight.
(Chris Copeland, angrily rolls into the ring and blasts Bradley with a thundering clothesline. Bradley’s skull bounces on the mat and Copeland quickly follows up with an elbow. Copeland, like a maddog off his leash, hops up to the middle turnbuckle and drops a Bret Hart like elbow. Copeland scoops Bradley for the pin.)
1… (Tommy Bradley kicks out)
(Triple K and Copeland rain blows down on Bradley and he struggles to free himself. Copeland leaves the ring and goes to inspect the duffel bag by the side of the ring. When Copeland opens the bag… A midget emerges from the bag like a flower that is slowly blossoming. Copeland looks a bit surprised at the midget.)
(Inside the ring, Bradley and Triple K are trading fists like cards in a set. Triple K sends Bradley off the ropes, and when Bradley bounces off the ropes, Copeland snatches out his feet from under him. Bradley falls to the canvas and Klancey drops a heavy elbow onto his back.)
(The midget on the outside is wearing a shirt that claims: “I am Billy Barty’s son!”. The midget is also very old and he swaggers when he walks. The midget walks back to the duffel bag and pulls out a tazer! The fans are loving the little man as he dances like a sugar plum on the outside of the ring!)
(Triple K notices the midget on the outside and smiles sadistically. Copeland places Bruiser in a figure four and Bradley winces in pain from the perfect application on the textbook hold. Bradley reaches for the ropes. But Alas! They are too far.)
(Outside, Triple K begins to chase after the little man. The fans are booing Triple K as he gains on the wee man. When Triple K lunges for the midget, he spins and electrocutes Triple K like a piece of cattle and Triple K falls to the ground, shaking. The midget leans over Klyde Kooger Klancey and lets a gob of saliva drip onto his face.)
(Inside the ring, Copeland releases the figure four and Bradley lies on the mat, immobilized. Copeland executes a lionsault and goes for a cover.)
1…2…(Bradley raises a shoulder off the canvas and Copeland stands up. When he does, his attention is diverted by the midget who is dancing and dipping gaily along the ring apron. Copeland takes a few more steps and sees the unconscious Triple K on the outside.)
(Using great speed, Copeland boots the midget off the apron and the little body crashes into the guard rail and snuggles up nice and close to Triple K.)
(Bradley takes the moment to snare Copeland in a school boy pin!)
1…2…(Copeland kicks out and gets to his feet. Bradley is showing fatigue from the earlier two-on-one assaults. Triple K is waking up and he sees the little midget beside him and he stands over the midget. Triple K grabs the midget by the neck and tosses him with one hand over the top rope!)
(The midget crashes into Bradley and when Bruiser turns to see what hit him, he realizes it was his midget. Bruiser turns around to continue fighting with Copeland, but as he turns, he recieves a mouthful of superkick, courtesy of Chris Copeland!)
1…2…3! Chris Copeland scores the victory for himself and Triple K!
Jimmy: Copeland and Triple K are safe. I wonder if the midget is okay?
Rudolph: Look for Tommy to bounce back on the next card. He’ll have some issues to settle with these two guys.
Jimmy: That superkick is so lethal.
Elimination Style
Hardcore Hogan & Johnny Damage & Chris Bomber vs Evan Drexxler & Dynamite Newton & Bryan Deverot
Evan: What do you want?
(Ponda motions to the man to his right.)
Ponda: This is Mr. Vance. He is from the Federal Board of Education.
Evan: SO!
(Mr. Vance steps up.)
Mr. Vance: We understand that you have been teaching inappropriate material in your class.
(Evan looks shocked and confused.)
Evan: What?
Mr. Vance: Well, you where teaching directly from the Bible. That is a
breaking of federal law, due to the separation of church and state.
So, until we get down to the bottom of all this the federal government
has decided to revoke your teaching license. You teach, and you’ll be
thrown in jail.
(Evan is infuriated by this. He begins to shake in anger. He speaks through clenched teeth.)
Evan: YOU…….CAN’T……DO……THIS!!!!!
(Ponda cuts in.)
Ponda: Oh, they can, and have.
Evan: You WILL pay for this.
(With that Evan shakes violently as he makes his way to the door and out it. The camera cuts on Ponda’s mechanical face.)
(We cut back stage to see Newton and Deverot searching through their locker room still. Newton steps back for a second.)
Newton: Man, I don’t know what we’re going to do. We’ve got a match
right now and I don’t even know where Evan is.
Deverot: Yeah, we’ve got to go.
(Just then the door bursts open and Evan slams in. He is holding his head and covering his eyes. Blood drips from where Evan’s fingure nails are digging into his head. Evan is ranting like a maniac)
Evan: Make it STOOOOOOPPPPPP!!!!!!!!
(Deverot and Newton look at each other confused.)
Deverot: What’s going on?
Newton: Drexx, dude, you okay?
(With that Evan removes his hands from his face. His eyes are not in their sockets. What remains is a glowing golden orb in each socket. Newton’s eyes widen in horror. He pushes Deverot toward the door and follows him toward it.)
Newton: Let’s get the Hell out of here.
Deverot: But…….
Newton: Trust me.
(The two men franticly scramble out of the room and close the door behind them. As the two stand there breathing a little heavily. As they do so an unhuman howl is heard from behind the door. Their heads snap up and eyes widen. Before they can react the door bursts into shards from the other side. Through the shards comes Evan Drexxler, or what appears to be Evan Drexxler. His suit is torn nearly off and his eyes are golden. Blood covers his face and his mouth is curled in an animal like snarl. The force of the door bursting causes the two men one the other side to be knocked on their backs. Evan rages down the hallway and directly at two backstage workers who don’t notice him. He crashes through them and papers fly as he rounds a corner and is gone. Deverot looks at Newton.)
Deverot: What’s going on with Evan?
(Newton looks back at him solemnly.)
Newton: That isn’t Evan.
(With that the camera cuts back to the ring.)
(“Poem” by Taproot plays and Chris Bomber comes spinning out of the backstage area and begins posing for the fans. He mounts the turnbuckle and flexes and the fans are eating his madness like candy.)
(A remixed version of Business and Jimi Hendrix pumps out and Hogan steps from the curtain wearing his feathered boa and sunglasses. Hardcore Hooligan walks out with Alexis on his shoulders and the two pose in a freeze frame for the fans. Alexis, still on Damage’s shoulders, lights a cigarette and places it between Johnny’s lips.)
(WEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLL, WELL IT’S THE BIIIGGGG SHOOOOW! Bryan Deverot steps from the curtains and puts a hand on his “slimmer” belly. Deverot wipes the sweat of his forehead with his pink shirt and chugs to the ring and the fans are loving it!)
(“Still I see no changes, can’t brother get a little peace!?” Fakepac steps out, singing into the grill of the microphone and Dynamite Newton marches to the ring and Fakepac starts to speak after the songs ends.
Fakepac: Hey y’all! My name ain’t Fakepac no more! It’s Fourpac! Suckaaaaaas!
(Rock you like a Hurricane! Plays but Evan Drexxler is nowhere to be seen! Deverot and Newton look confused because Drexxler isn’t coming out. And at that moment, Hogan and Damage attack Newton and Deverot! Bomber goes to the corner and Damage and Hogan throw Deverot over the top rope. Newton is being stomped by Damage and Hogan makes his way over to the corner.)
Rudolph: Where is Evan Drexxler! We saw him.. Transforming. And now he is nowhere to be seen.
(Newton rallies back and sends Damage to the mat with a horrific spinebuster! Damage recoils from the impact. Newton drags Damage to the center of the ring and applies a Texas Cloverleaf! Damage is turned onto his chest and he squirms for safety. Chris Bomber hops to the top rope and knocks Newton off with a dropkick! Deverot chrages in and decapitates Bomber, sending him rolling back to his corner. The ref pushes Deverot back to the corner and Hogan is tagged in by Damage.)
(Bam Boom whatcha gonna do!? Hogan steamrolls over Newton and bounces off the ropes and drops a huge Hoganite elbow! Newton gets to his feet and tags out. Deverot steps in the ring and he and Hogan goes nose to nose and the fans begin cherring. Louder and Louder. The Palace is in a frenzy as Deverot goes to fight his long time friend. Deverot lobs a right handed bomb, but Hogan blocks it and fires back with a right of his own! Deverot goes for another right punch, but again, Hogan blocks it and fires back! After that punch, Deverot drops his guard and opens the flood gates! Hogan begins rifling him with shot after shot and Hogan whips Deverot off the ropes and goes for a big boot!)
(Deverot ducks it and as he rebounds off the other ropes, he sends Hogan to the canvas with a double ear clap! Deverot follows up with a huge body splash and Hogan is rocked! Deverot goes for a quick pin!)
1…2…Hogan Kicks out!
(Hogan begins shaking his head and feels the adrenaline coursing through his veins. Deverot puts that to a quick end with a low blow. Hogan grabs his man parts and waves his hand in pain as he tags out to Chris Bomber.)
(Bomber runs in and goes for a hurricaranna, but Deverot powerbombs him to the ground. Deverot tags out to Newton who uses to top rope to sringboard himself onto Chris Bomber!)
Rudolph: All things considered, Deverot and Newton are handling themsleves great, despite the odd man advantage!
(Newton goes for a surfboard submission and Bomber grunts like a hard working farmer of the prairies. Newton smiles as Bomber’s sweat drips onto his face and chest. Bomber is shaking his head to signify that he does not give up and in frustration, Newton releases the hold. Bomber slowly gets up but is hit back down from a drop-kick of Dynamite Newton. Bomber staggers up to his feet and is placed into an abdominal stretch. Fourpac on the outside reaches in and adds a bit of extra leverage increasing the pain. Damage runs in the ring and kicks the joined hands of Newton and Fourpac. Bryan Deverot angrily comes in to attack Damage. Hogan charges into the ring and now Fourpac is turned inside-out by Hogan’s 24-inch pythons. Bomber rolls out of the ring and Dynamite Newton stands in the eye of the storm. Around him is complete havoc.)
Jimmy: Holy Toledo’s Rudolph, everyone’s fighting! This is insane.
Rudolph: You’re telling me!
(Finally, the ref gets the match settled. And everyone returns to the corners. Bomber rolls into the ring and Dynamite Newton is perched up on the top turnbuckle. He waves his arms like an eagle and hurricarana’s the Mad Bomber to the ground crushing his skull into the canvas!)
Jimmy: Dynamite Newton is showing excellent skills tonight against the Mad Bomber!
(Dynamite tosses Bomber into his corner and as Bomber bounces off the turnbuckles, Newton snares up his arms and executes a full nelson forward slam! Newton goes for the cover! Hogan and Damage run into the ring and so does Deverot!)
1…2…(Deverot knocks Damage and Hogan down with a double clothesline!)3!
Chris Bomber has been eliminated!
(Inside the ring, an exhausted Newton tags out to Bryan Deverot, who also looks relatively drained of energy. Deverot gets into the ring and Damage starts kicking away at his enormous belly. Deverot grabs Damage by the leg and spins him around. When Damage comes faces to face, Damage feels the pain of a swinging neck breaker! Damage falls and Deverot tiredly tags out. Newton gets in and commences battle with Damage.)
Rudolph: You can really see the fatigue wearing on Newton and Deverot.
Jimmy: Yeah! Hogan and Damage had an extra man to tag to during the early stages of this fight!
(Newton sends Damage off the ropes and goes off the opposite ones. Newton nails Damage with a power clothesline and the skinny phenom known as Johnny Damage rests against the bottom rope and Newton signals for another Dynamite Sweep!)
(Outside the ring, Fourpac reaches new heights in fans popularity as he breakdances to give Newton power!)
(Damage is caught in a half nelson and he manages to hip toss Newton away from him as he makes the tag to Hogan. Hogan clotheslines Newton down! Newton gets up, but is clotheslined down again! Hogan signals for a Greasy Leg Drop! Hogan bounds off the ropes, but Newton is pulled to safety by Fourpac, who, in a panic hugs Newton before letting him go back to the smashing.)
(Newton goes to tag, but Hogan pulls him away and whips him to the opposite corner. Damage gets in a few shots from the outside before Hogan tags in the exhausted fighter. Before Hogan goes to his corner, he charges in and delivers a big boot to lay out Newton. Damage mounts the top rope and goes for the Hangover!)
(Damage flies through the air, performing a 180 degree frog splash and crashes onto Newton! Hogan runs to block Deverot from the save!)
1…2…3! Damage pins Dynamite Newton!
Dynamite Newton is eliminated
(The match is now back to handicap standards as Deverot runs in clears the ring! He smashes each man is turn and after he is done, uses his new energy to do a sommersault onto Damage! Hogan exchanges shots with Deverot! Deverot tosses Hogan over the top rope and goes to work on Damage! Deverot climbs to the top rope and successfully lands with a moonsault!)
1…2…Damage kicks out!
(Hogan goes back into the ring and pulls Deverot up! Hogan lambastes Deverot with a big boot and sends him sprawling to the ground! Damage mounts the top rope and waits! Hogan lands the Greasy Legdrop!!
Jimmy: Too bad, Deverot was really doing well all alone.
(Damage flies through the air and performs a regular frog splash and goes for the cover!)
1…2…Deverot kicks out! Deverot kicks out!
(Hogan grabs his stringable cheese hair in shock and looks from side to side! Damage looks bloody surprised as well! Deverot begins to shake and get up! Hogan goes for a punch, but it is blocked! Deverot fires a punch and begins to build momentum! Damage jumps on his back and applies a sleeper! Deverot sways and falls to one knee.)
(The fans begin roaring and Hogan turns to see IXON! The man formerly known as Evan Drexxler marching to the ring pointing! Drexxler get onto the apron and Hogan goes to smash him! Drexxler goes low and uses the butt of his shoulder and drives it into Hogan’s stomach! Drexxler sends his massive body over the top with a sunset flip, but instead of pulling Hogan down, he stands up and delivers a powerbomb! Hogan falls to the outside!)
(Drexxler pulls Damage off of Deverot and easily tosses the lighter man into the corner before chraging in and crushing Damage in the corner! As Damage slumps forward, IXON lifts Damage over his head and gorilla presses Damage! IXON throws Damage over the top rope onto Hogan and the two crash to the ground. Deverot tiredly gets to his feet and IXON is jacked up! A changed man from the gentle teacher the students such as Myron, Melissa and Roberto love.)
(IXON and Bryan Deverot start posing to the crowd who are going bananas. Hardcore Hogan falls all the way back into the guardrail. Johnny Damage reaches for his Singapore Cane and enters the ring getting pumelled by Deverot and Ixon. Damage swings the Cane and Deverot ducks! Deverot grabs the throat of Damage with both hands and drops him with a two-handed chokeslam. Ixon runs off the ropes and drops a rock-hard knee on Damage. Hardcore Hogan rolls into the ring and Damage falls out. Deverot, reaches down and grabs Hogan’s stringible cheese hair. It’s in position for the Deverot Driver! Deverot whispers: “We’re still tight, but this is business”… With this said, Deverot hoists the UWA Legend Hardcore Hogan high into the air and drops him on his neck with his patented finisher- {The Deverot Driver}
1…2… (Damage is on the top rope for the save… But IXON pushes Damage off and he moshes into the crowd!……..3!!!!)
Hardcore Hogan is eliminated!
(Damage is irate and he goes into the ring begins to brawl with both men at once! IXON and Deverot swarm him with acts of violence. Damage Grabs the singapore cane and whacks IXON and Deverot with it! IXON grabs the cane snaps it over his knee! The fans are going nuts! IXON sends Damage off the ropes and delivers a Hurricane Heart Punch! Damage stumbles before slumping to the top rope! Deverot flies through the air and lands on Damage with the sloppiest shooting star press the world has ever seen!)
1..2…3! Deverot pins Johnny Damage!
Johnny Damage is eliminated!
(Bryan Deverot and IXON defeat Bomber, Damage and Hogan!)
(Dynamite Newton and Fourpac return to the ring and are celebrating after their come from behind victory over the unstoppable hardcore menaces!)
Jimmy: What a match! IXON finally showed up at the end f the match!
Rudolph: He sure is unpredictable!
Jimmy: It looks like his transformation has died down. He is becoming Evan Drexxler again! Let’s hope he can get his pills. Deverot sure earned his keep tonight!
Immunity Briefcase Ladder Match
Cliff Knight vs Chainsaw Masaca
[In Cliff Knight’s locker room]
(Cliff Knight has one of the most serious looks the Ultimate Wrestling Alliance has ever seen on his face. Cliff Knight is building a light sweat from jump-rope)
[In Chainsaw Masaca’s locker room]
(Chainsaw Masaca looks at the camera with a look happiness on his face)
Chainsaw Masaca: YEAH!
(He starts cutting a locker apart with his chainsaw. He’s warned by an official and he starts to walk down the hallway.)
[In the arena]
(LET’S GET READY TO… DESTROY. Chainsaw Masaca pushes the curtains aside. He waves his chainsaw around and the fans go nuts. Masaca charges to the ring and analyzes the ladder.)
(“Seasons” by Crossbreed blares and Knight emerges from the shadows. He gives the thumbs up to the ring and then gives the thumbs down. Knight struts to the ring and points at Chainsaw Masaca. The bell sounds… Ding. Ding. Ding. And it’s a race up the ladder! Masaca like a loose cannon runs up the ladder and so does Knight. Knight reaches to the top the quickest and reaches up at the briefcase. Masaca sees the opening and EXPLOITS IT! He oppreses Knight with a stomach shot. Knight’s armour is shredded by the bullet-like fist of Chainsaw Masaca. The ladder teeter-todders and it falls with both men reaching up for the briefcase! Knight jumps and has the biggest fall-all-the way to the outside. Chainsaw Masaca falls groin first on the top rope. Masaca has a look of gutteral disgust on his face when Cliff Knight starts bouncing it up and down! Masaca eventually falls down and grabs his groin in pain!)
Jimmy: THAT’LL PARALYZE A MAN, RUDY!
(Cliff Knight, like a man possessed by the devil, grabs Masaca by his rag-like hair. Knight drags Masaca down the aisle to the locker room. Masaca stops and punches Cliff Knight into the gut. Masaca whips Knight into the wall like he was a Ken Doll. Masaca now drags Cliff Knight all the way to a nearby elevator. The cameraman sneaks into the elevator and Masaca pushes the second floor key- where all the gambling occurs. Cliff Knight goes to town by nailing Masaca in the groin. Knight starts swinging Masaca around like a merry-go-round. The camera man falls to the ground and for seven seconds, Ultimate Wrestling Alliance goes OFF AIR!)
Jimmy: Hang on folks, we’ll get this back together.
(RING. The elevator bell rings. A camera man is waiting at the second floor. The door slowly opens and Chainsaw Masaca is down on one knee facing the door with blood oozing from his forehead.)
Rudolph: WHAT THE HELL DID CLIFF KNIGHT DO TO MASACA WHEN WE OFF AIR?
(Chainsaw Masaca is rolled forward and he tumbles like he just fought in the Vietnam War. Cliff Knight starts peeling the skin from Masaca’s forehead before he tosses Masaca onto a whole pile of chips from the Blackjack Table. Masaca, with tons of momentum, falls off the blackjack table and Cliff Knight searches around in the busy casino for Chainsaw Masaca. Cliff Knight gently touches a beautiful lady with a red dress on. But what he does not see is Chainsaw Masaca running at him like a million elephants of Africa. Knight turns his head and is rammed like a stegasaurous into the Blackjack table.)
(Knight lets out a muffled gasp as he fingers what may be broken ribs. Knight is resting against the table and Chaisaw Masaca decides to head back to the ring and climb the ladder. The Lady in Red helps Knight to his feet after a few moments and she gives him a kiss for good luck. And Knight goes to take the stairwell and tries to beat Chainsaw back to the ring.)
(A camera follows Knight as he rail slides all the way to the bottom floor. Knight holds his ribs and heads and sees Chainsaw climbing the rungs slowly. Chainsaw is getting up and the ladder and Knight waits for him to get up one more rung. Then, when Chainsaw Masaca makes it up one more rung and reaches for the briefcase, Cliff Knight runs in and pushes the ladder! Chainsaw flies over the top rope and crashes through the announcer’s table!)
(Cliff sets up the ladder and begins the climb! Chainsaw is horriby hurt outside the ring and Cliff Knight snatches the briefcase like a greedy child grabbing a lollipop!)
Cliff Knight defeats Chainsaw Masaca in the Ladder Match IME!
Rudolph: Holy Shysa! Chainsaw has gone through two announcer tabels in two shows! And now Mixed Bag Incorporated must vote off one of their members!
Jimmy: Either Triple K, Dark Avenger, Chris Copeland or Chainsaw Masaca will be going home before the next card!
Rudolph: I can’t wait to see what happens after THIS card!
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