Oh, that Matt, he sucks.

The
"I Hate Matt"
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    • Ask Us Volume III, April 2001

    Kristofer Von Der Skrotem Berger asks:
    During the Second World War when my Uncle was at large, I committed war crimes such as going soldiers back door and enjoying the company of Jewish males (they are soooo hairy) do you think i have any problems?
    Volcom says:
    Skrotum, judging by your question I think it's safe to say you have several problems. First being your name. I've only got three names, and I'm the first to admit I'm pretty cool, so why the fuck do you have 5? It's wild!
    Is sodomy actually a war crime? I think it should be. And you were doing it to jews? Err.... Skroter. Come on.
    Milfy asks:
    Hey do you reckon matt would go for me? Or do i still have to tea bag von skroter?
    Volcom says: Matt is pretty gay, but not that gay, sheesh.
    So I suppose,
    Skroter it is!
    seriious asks:
    I have taken a survey and 54% of the public want naked pictures of matt on your site. If not naked then weird, embarrasing, awkward pictures. Can you deliver? Don't be such a gringo!
    Volcom says:
    It seems to me that Matt has many homo followers wishing to see him naked. Alas, I'm unable to deliver on that, as the last time I tried to photograph Matt "sans garments" my eyes started seeping blood and I vomited so hard and so long it was technically feces by the time it left my disgusted face.
    However, I am able to show you this shocking photograph depicting a long haired Matt in an homosexual/beastial embrace.
    Mrs Vadge asks:
    You won't win you vile little chunk. I got rid of your last web page and I can destroy this one just as easily. Mr.Vadge and I will see to that. Do your worst. Have you no manhood?
    Volcom says:
    I have plenty of manhood.
    Now, listen up, Vadge, I don't need to take shit similiar to that written above. As an educated black man, I'm offended by your degrading opinion of me. Get your head out of your festering sladge, Vadge.
    Either Mr Vadge don't do you hard enough, o' you been raped as kid, Vadge.
    There, that's my worst.
    Mike B asks:
    Some faggot named **** ****** told me that if i liked him he would be my friend. The bitched turnd against me and brought in the GST now everythings fucked and i hate it . Please Help
    Volcom says:
    What the fuck do you want me to do?
     
     
    Please Note:
    I don't decide the subject matter for these questions dear, you do. I only give smart arse responses, so if you send in, or read a question and are offended by my response in some way, please send your complaints to gitfucked@whocares.i7.com.au.
    All questions are and remain © of the I Hate Matt Dimension after submision.
    "Ask Us" is produced and recorded in front of a live, studio audience, Bronson K Volcomstalker speaking.

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