"There is True Art in Interpreting the World through the Minds of Imbeciles"
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"Why do hot dogs come in packs of ten and buns in packs of eight?"
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The Refectory: Student & Faculty Facilities
We don't have a Kitchen anymore, but we have Microwaves ~~
and more important, we have a BAR
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Departments
Science
& Nature
Philosophy
& Religion
Politics
& Sociology
History
& Culture
Language
& Literature
Journalism
& Hype
Drama
& Fine Arts
Cooking
School
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We neglected to pay off the local food inspectors and lost our license to
serve meals (we can COOK food, as long as we don't serve it -- hence the
continuance of the School of Cooking). The original Dining Hall has since
been converted into an animal shelter and biological lab. However, other areas on the ground floor of our spacious facility are devoted exclusively
to the benefit of our students and faculty. There is a bookstore/library, a Tuck shop (microwavable food, T-shirts, cards, and candies), a pool room with a dart board, and a barroom/faculty lounge. Licensing laws require that you be a faculty member to use this -- but in effect every student is automatically registered as a faculty member upon enrollment at the Academy.
The building with the floor plan as shown below was once a pseudo-Scottish baronial castle built by a railway magnate named Cyrus
Helmuth van der Planck MacDonald in the 1880's. It is at the back of the Academy grounds behind the Academy itself, which was a medieval fantasy this same zillionaire built for his daughter Sophie as a wedding dowry. There is an extensive campus (100 or so acres) in prime shopping mall territory, so if it weren't for a deal worked out with Messrs Cthulhu and Nosferatu, the Academy would not exist -- and would not be free of admission charges
to all you freeloaders.
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Here is the Ground Floor Plan
The mottled central area represents the keep, or Scottish
tower house

G&F Academy contents
copyright © 1997, 1998
by Grobius Shortling
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