Girls
Rule
**This Page is not to say
that guys suck, and girls are better..I just have a lotta poems etc. on girls, so I am not
a feminist, guy hater, etc.**
Beautiful Freak
You look at me strangely with ignorant
eyes
Chains on my neck, and fishnets on my thighs
Black shirt, Black skirt
Black boots on my feet
my unbrushed black hair isn't perfect and neat.
You say I'd be gorgeous if my makeup didn't streak
I could care less
"I'm a beautiful Freak!"
Women Are
Wonderful
Everyday I give thanks to the Goddess
I have to mounds upon my bodice
I shave my legs, I sit down to pee
I can justify any shopping spree
Not to a barber, but a beauty salon
Can get a massage without a hard on
Can balance the
checkbook, pump my own gas
Can talk to my friends about the size of my ass
I always save money by using coupons
Can admit to others when I am wrong
Don't drive in
circles at any cost
So I don't have to admit when I am lost
Don't act like I'm in a timed marathon
Every time I go to the john
Let me tell you
men
Listen to me boys
Those things in your pants
That you treat as toys
You love them more than we ever will
We would rather suck on a cold pickle dill
I spend two hours
preparing for a date
Only to find you're two hours late
I don't watch movies with lots of gore
Don't need instant replay to remember the score
I won't lose my
hair
I don't get jock itch
And just cause I'm assertive
Don't call me a bitch
I don't wear the
same underwear everyday
The food in my fridge has no sign of decay
I don't go to sears to look at the tools
I don't cheat at poker
I follow the rules
I don't smoke
cigars
Don't pay for drinks at bars
I don't punch my friends just to say "Hi"
And it's ok for my to cry
I know all you
men
Think you're "IT"
But compared to a woman
You just ain't shit!
-author unknown
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"I myself
have never been able to find out precisely what a feminist is, I only know that people
call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a
doormat."
-- Rebecca West, 1913
Things that girls think guys should know:
1. Don't
ever lie to us, we always find out
2. We don't enjoy talking dirty as much as you enjoy listening.
3. Don't say you understand when you don't.
4. Girls are petty, get over it.
5. You don't have PMS, so don't act like you know what it's like.
6. Saying something sweet might get you off the hook, but doing summtin sweet gets ya off
the hook.
7. If you talk about having a big dick, we know you don't.
8. Size does matter.
9. We don't like it when you act like Mr. Big, we like it when you are Mr. Big.
10. A system in your car only impresses your homeboys.
11. No matter what you say, your x-gf is a hoe
12. Its good to be sensitive (well sometimes)
13. If you did summtin wrong, or you didn't - apologize.
14. Be spontaneous, dinner and a movie won't always cut it.
15. We are self-conscious by nature - we can't help it.
16. We are drama queens.
17. Fashion police do exist.
18. don't ask us to give head, if you are nice you just might get it.
19. we absolutely do not care about monster trucks, car systems, paintballs or anything
else you and your friends talk about.
20. Hugs and kisses must be given at all times.
21. We don't shave out legs everyday, get over it.
22. Don't make bets about us, we always find out bout em.
23. Shave - no matter how cool you think it looks.
24. Even if you think it is cool to burp, fart, or emit other strange gasses from your
body, it's not.
25. Don't compare our breasts to Pamela Anderson's, hers are not real.
26. It is not cool to shoot snot rockets.
27. We are beautiful, but make-up helps.
28. We will always think we are fat, humor us and tell us we aren't.
29. You can shoot hoops, score goals, and hit a tiny baseball with a stick, so why can't
you pee in the toilet and not on it??
30. MOST IMPORTANTLY - WE ARE ALWAYS RIGHT, DON'T FORGET IT =)