- Guest asks to split a glass of water, no ice
- Guest needs a doggie bag for the left-over bread they didn't eat
- Guest wonders if you have samples of wine, like they have samples of ice cream at Baskin Robbins
- Asks, "Is this all you get?" each time a new course is brought to the table
- Asks, "Are refills free?" When the answer is yes, sucks down the beverage right in front of you, then asks for another
- Guest says, "I'm only having a cup of soup, I'm saving room for dessert."
- Wants to know if it's OK to split a beverage and/or entree among five people
- The adults at the table are discussing in great length the variety on the kids menu
- Guest asks for a doggie bag, and it's a buffet
- Guest wonders if you could "Super-Size" their twenty-five dollar entree
- Wants a free cake to celebrate Uncle Jimmy's parole
- Wonders if they provide spittoons as well as ashtrays in the smoking section
- Guest says their doctor put them on a strict diet--No entrees over six dollars
- Wonders if they get a discount for using their own silverware
- The less teeth in the mouth...the less money on the table
- They give you a $100 bill, and they look like that might be their entire paycheck (W. Scott M.)
- The customer begins to empty his penny loafers (R.T.)
- The guest is seated in your station with a Gift Certificate
proudly sticking out of their shirt pocket (Gerald S.)
- They refuse to remove their "Bass Pro Shops" ball cap throughout the dinner (Once again: Gerald S.)
- When it is time to pay the bill, the guests one by one leave for the restrooms until their is only one left to settle the tab (Terence)
- The more praise the waiter gets, the less money they receive (William G.)
- The older the payer of the bill, the less the tip (William G. part 2)
- You hear the guests talking about how they used to wait tables, and they can't believe how awful the service in restaurants has gotten these days...(Dan R.)
- You see them shuffling credit cards saying, "That one won't clear, that one won't clear..."(Kimberley Y.)
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