ELPfan 09's Humor Page

I have been told by many people that I have a great sense of humor and can tell stories well. I have also been told that I "can stick it up my Yeah." Actually, that isn't what exactly was said, but in order for me to keep this web site, I can't say words like A-hole, cunny, F-face, bull-S, bitch, son-of-a-whore, fitty-tuck, fumb-duck and other choice words. Anyway, here are some stories that you might find interesting and entertaining. If you don't feel that these stories are enjoyable, then please send me an e-mail and I will give you some great porn links. Thanks for the cooperation.

Random Stories:

Story #1	Barbies, Barbies and More Barbies
Story #2	Basketball Stuff
Story #3	Movie Fun
Story #4	Pennsylvania Trip
Story #5	Driver's Education
Story #6	Carpool

Many of my friends and I are part of an acedemic school program known as the International Baccalaureate. Here are some stories related to that.

Story #7	Introduction
Story #8	First Day of School
Story #9	Second Day of School
Story #10	Satirical Essay

I like to spend lots of time online, mostly with the Instant Messanger on the away message. Unless you are totally dense, then you already know that my screen name is ELPfan 09. Don't be afraid to IM me, unless you are a dork. I don't like dorks.
Anyway, IM me and find out what I'm really like. Read my profile, too.
Here are some of my favorite away messages:

• This is an away message. So go away!
• It's time once again to flush out the plumbing. Try not to bust an o-ring in anticipation. I'll be back. If I'm not back in twenty minutes, call 911.
• Oops, there's the dryer. Time to go put on some clothes.
• Profound Thought of the Minute: Who would be a better running partner for Al Gore? Ling-Ling or Sing-Sing. I know one of them is dead, but still...
• Profound Thought of the Minute: brothels and bordellos: is it still wrong if you use big words?
• Profound Though of the Minute: What is the best part of Baywatch: the acting, the location, the plot or the jigglling?
• Profound Thought of the Minute: If you ate your foot, would you lose weight?

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