If you're fiending for a good dicking in the ass, Georgia Tech housing is only a phone call away. They will fuck you over in every possible way. After kicking you out of your dorm room halfway through the semester and forcing you to move way the fuck over to the other side of campus, they will put you in a room with 3 times as many bastards as before (for those who can't do math, that means it would be a room of four). One of them will still be a stoner, for we all know that its healthy to have at least one stoner for a roomate.

    We have auto-flush toilets that have a tendency to flush while you're on the shitter and will suck your colon right out of your asshole if you're not careful. The toilets installed on our facility have been rejected for use in larger passenger planes by the FAA(Federal Aviation Administration) because they flush 7 times more forcefully than the legal limit for airplane toilets, which we all know are the most powerful known to man. Correction: were the most powerful.

    Half the dorms on east campus have shower heads that point directly into your face and can't be adjusted at all.  So if you're about that perfect height of 5'10", then you'll probably have fun drowning in the shower. 

    Also, the temperature of the water in the showers tends to unexpectedly change by 20 degrees at any time.  It likes to do this especially when someone flushes a toilet.  This is a west campus thing.  You just can't win.

    Chances are they might make you move out of your dorm after the semester is over because they felt like renovating yours of all dorms (as if they couldn't do it over the summer). Of course, the dorm you are in probably used to be a coed dorm, but they decided to make it all male this year, because they figure it is easier to tell guys to pack up and get the hell out than it would be to tell girls to do the same. By the way, what is the point of signing up for a Freshman Experience dorm when they kick you out?  I thought the whole point of the Freshman Experience was to smooth the transition to college.  Way to go jackasses.

    Chances are the kid next door will never go to class the entire semester due to his prior obligations to his Playstation 2.

    At late hours in the middle of the night, random people down the hall will yell out random expletives for all to hear.

    If you don't get a good housing assignment your freshman year, then don't expect shit for the remaining years either. As usual, Georgia Tech has been kind enough to "guarantee" every sophomore a housing assignment, whether that be an asshole crack in the wall, a four person cubicle, or a converted basement with one shitter and one shower to be shared by 10 guys. But hey, you're guaranteed housing, so aren't you the lucky bastard?

    When it was time to get kicked out of Caldwell, housing insisted that we stay until the Sunday after classes ended before we could move our shit out of the room and get a key to the new room, even if the person whose spot we were supposed to occupy had already moved out.  They'll tell you anything to make you do it too.  I called them up asking for the key to my new shithole because the guy had moved out like a month ago, but I was told a multitude of lies, with the biggest one being "We can't give you the key because we have to clean the room first". HA! Where the fuck were they when it was time to clean my shithole?  Because when I moved in, there wasn't even an empty desk, dresser, or cabinet for my stuff, so I was the one who had to scrape out the fingernails stuck in spilled coke, the rotten food inside the drawers, and the gross body hair off of my mattress.

    In contrast, the fuckers mandated that everyone move out within 24 hours of their last final for the spring semester, which is real convenient for those of you whose parents work on Fridays and live nowhere near here. 

    Maintenance requests for Georgia Tech Housing are literally non-existent, at least for east campus.  You can go on their website and fill out that damn little form, but face it, nobody is coming.  I put in a request 2 weeks ago to get my air conditioner looked at because all it's doing is fanning, and I got no response whatsoever and it still hasn't been fixed. 

    If you're lucky enough to live on east campus, it's always pleasant to open your window and inhale that good smoke congested freeway air. 

    If you live near Britain, you'll get to hear the garbage truck with its BEEP BEEP BEEP every morning at about 5am. 

   Does anyone know why they insist on the puke lime green furniture in the dorms like Fitten on west campus?

    It has been brought to my attention that 40 students in Towers are being forced to share 2 showers and 2 urinals because housing can't fix either of them.  I swear, even animals aren't forced to live in their own fecal matter.

    Hear the housing experiences of other students. Click Here

    Hear about prospective roomates. Click Here

 

   

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