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Body language is the most powerful thing in seduction. Overconfidence leaks through the body in so many ways, and girls look for that. Everything you do or say in front of a girl gives her a different piece of the puzzle to who you are inside.
Insides count the most, but looks can tell a lot about a person. If a person spikes their hair, they are trying to be cool. No one would spike their hair the same way every morning to purposefully look stupid. Girls notice the time you put into your hair - big time. Make your hair look good or do something. Don't forget to shave your neck. Unkept hair is not the way to go...unless you are going to get heavy objects thrown at you.
How do you dress? Emo? Geek? Hard-core? Goth? Prep? Rich kid? Clown? It's all important to what kind of girl you want. Don't dress like a geek unless you want to attract wierd women; just like don't dress like a clown unless you want to attract quirky female tag-alongs. I go to a tech college, and I have heard the term "geeky cute" for the first time in my life here. It is appropriate to wear some nicer clothes every once in awhile, and try avoiding the darker colors - unless worn in contrast. Get rid of torn or stained pants...unless that is the style you are going for, in which case you should rip and stain them yourself (flick white out on a tight pair of jeans that you have cut up, bleached, and patched). Wear some accessories like a sweet chain, nice anolog watch, bandana, hip necklace, bling-bling, rings, different kinds of shades, and anything else that suits you style. I tend to have a lot of success with the "bad-ass" or "hard rocker" look.
"Doesn't he look goood?" Health is a big deal to women. You ever notice how girls talk about eating too much or not getting enough excersize? They care about the way they look. If you look all fat and gross, it doesn't matter how good your skills are, a pretty girl will be embarrassed to have you as a boyfriend. Take care of yourself. Get a tan if you need it. Eat when you are hungry until you are not hungry, and try not to eat only when it is convenient. Eating only two or three meals a day is bad because your body absorbs all the sugars in your food because it thinks it is starving. Work out and get some excersize if you want a chiseled look. If you are over the age of 27, you are going to have to work out to get chiseled because that is when your muscle content stops increasing (dead end of puberty).
Invest in some cologne. It helps to smell nice. There is even some cologne out there that makes guys smell more masculine. It's the stuff with pheromones in it (Axe even has pheromones in it). Pheromones are not important unless you have the skills to get the girl too, and they don't work on all guys. Don't put on too much cologne - just dab it or mist it and walk through the mist. Remember to find a suiting scent because the same smell smells different on every guy because of the way it reacts with your skin. Bring a girl along with you when you are picking out colognes - have different kinds for different events. Keep our lady friends excited by wearing a stronger smell on dates, less on casual outings, and a formal smell on work days.
Improve yourself, champ. Become a better stud by becoming a better person. Self-improvement is a big thing. Take lessons in various activities such as acting, boxing or competitive martial arts, cooking, public speaking, salsa, massaging, and creative writing. Acting and public speaking will help you gain social reverence by teaching you further things about body language and vocal control. Boxing and competitive sports will bring out your "inner man energy" and put you into shape. The rest are classes that lots of girls will be in. Also, girls like guys who can cook, dance, write, and give a massage (those are the kind of things they brag about to their girls). So basically, don't focus on hitting on girls all the time just because you can. Your life will fall apart due to an unhealthy balance.
Stop with the nervous habits! It isn't very cool at all. No foot tapping, playing with the hands, talking fast, whatever...just don't do it. If you twitch, you might not be able to help it without a little boost of confidence. Just take in a deep breath, and tell yourself how confident you are. The key is to not worry about what others think of you. It really doesn't matter what others think of you, but rather, how they react to you. One way that will help is to just go to a public place and practice for ten minutes slowing down or minimizing your body movements.
"Your voice sounds orgasmic." Yeah...I don't know who I was quoting...prolly me...but anyway... Use your strong voice when attracting! When you are getting the attention of groups or someone in a loud setting, you can't talk softly. In fact, DON'T talk softly regularly. It portrays low self-esteem. You may find your voice is shaky or uneasy when talking loudly or just talking normally, but don't worry. Just push on through with the loud voice, and over time the uneasy part of your voice will disappear. Just be sure to speak loud without yelling, although there may be times where you feel like whispering, and that's ok.
Embarrassment is embarrassing. The last thing on your mind should be embarassment. Visualize all your fears of being laughed at, ridiculed, and pointed at. Put them into a box. Now stomp on the box, and shoot it with a shotgun. Embarassment is stupid. If you make a bad impression to someone important, get over it. Stuff like that won't happen unless you sacrifice your moral values. To get over your fear of embarassment, get used to it. Simple? Yes. I did it by walking around for a week in a loud wal-mart baithsuit and the girliest sandals you've ever seen. It was awesome. People would start talking to me left and right. If anyone gave me a hard time, I just tell told them that I don't care what people think about me. The general response out of girls was "Oh, that's so cool." My advice to you is to go a week in the most outrageous outfits you have ever seen. Ask 10 people a day if they like parts to your outfit. Tell them you think your outfit displays your emotion of the day. Getting past embarassment is the key to displaying charisma.
Avoid the indirect aproach. I know that online flirting and stuff has paid off, but it's only for desperate guys. The direct approach is way better because it shows effort, and girls know that the best approach is the up-front one. Don't do "I like you" emails either...I screwed up with that one more than once. And on a more literal note, don't sneak up behind a girl either. Approach from the side, at an angle, or head on.
Walk and talk like you are worth a million bucks. Stick out your chest with your shoulders back, yet relaxed. Rich kids tend to have an acceptional amount of confidence, and so should you. Act like you got something BIG. Stand with your legs wide apart. Walk slow. Talk slow. You control time, remember? Busy = Insecure.
Why waste your money to get a "no?" Don't buy her anything until a week into the relationship. Trust me. It just says the wrong things. Being romantic only pays off in the middle of the relationship. It's just something you can't rush. The secret admirer technique has failed almost every time, so don't be a stalker!
Drunkards die unhappily married. Don't guzzle down the beer in front of the ladies. It shows insecurity, and it is rude to hit on someone when you are drunk and not in control. You shouldn't drink when you go out to meet girls - it gives you false confidence that will hurt your game in the long run. If anyone asks, just say, "When I drink, I grow gills. You don't want me to suffocate, do you?" or "Some of us can have have fun without drinking. In your face!" Well...maybe not the in your face part, but you should have a funny comeback to their comment.
What do I do next?? Silence. Do something! Anything! Don't worry because worry is just another word for feeling insecure. So, be spontanious, adventerous, and fun. Don't bore her. I've turned off at least two girls who were really interested in me just by talking with them...or rather, not talking. It is okay not to talk, but you can't just stare and be nervous. Go away for awhile, look interested at something around the room, or think of something funny to say and laugh to yourself (great opener). Silences don't have to be akward. In fact, some things you can't do while talking - like kissing and biting.
What's with the third degree? Talking too much and too fast is really bad too. It is one of the many signs of insecurity. You should not be doing all the talking if you ask the questions right. Ask relevant "open-ended" questions - questions that leave her with a story to tell. Avoid the yes, no, blue, McDonald's, Honda Civic, etc. questions because that isn't a conversation, that's a survey. Something in her story will undoubtly tell a little something about her that you may be able to use in future conversation. When answering questions, tell a story or leave the answer "open-ended" so that she will be tempted to keep the conversation going. Use effective listening techniques too: lean in towards her a little, tilt your head to hear better, look at her at least 90% of the time, make eye contact with her when she is making a point, prompt for clarity, stay still, and actually listen.
How YOU doin? Remember, guys, you care about her and how she feels, so make her feel good about herself, and don't make her feel like she is being badly hit on. Pick up lines suck. They are almost totally inneffective, and all the hot chicks know them all anyway. Openers, however, are quite effective. A simple, "How you doin?" will do just fine, or if you are feeling creative, say whatever you think would be right under the mood. If the opener worked, say something about her purse, skirt, drink, or something else interesting/funny about the surroundings. It can be slightly teasing or maybe more complimentary depending on the girl.
I see a ship yonder there! Look to the horizon, buddy. Staring at the floor is not an effective seduction technique. When you aren't looking in her eyes, look at something up or across, not at something on the floor.
Mommy...he's touching me. It's ok to nudge shoulders, touch their hair, lift their earing, play thumb wars, play footsies, play find-the-tickle-spot, teach each other how to bite and pull hair, whatever. Cooties never existed, and personal space is only needed if they have gun. Just non-sexual touching will get them to feel more comfortable with you. Touching releases one of the key hormones into your brain that gives a heroine high. Just don't ever go up to a girl and tell her, "I touch myself to get high." Heh, actually, go ahead, that would be funny, but actually don't.
Lean out. It is as simple as that. See if she leans in, if she does, she is interested. Talk softly if she isn't leaning in; if she cares about what you say, she'll lean in to hear you.
Are you nervous? How could you tell? A girl can tell how you percieve yourself by how much you move around. Try to keep a static personality when you are in public - changing behavior is not attractive unless you are showing off your acting skills. Don't wave your hands around, crack your knuckles, bite your finger nails, walk in a circle, look around a lot, etc. It all goes back to that nervous habit thing. As said in How to Use Body Language, "When observers are asked to rate the estimated power or status of a person entering a room, they give higher ratings to people who make fewer physical gestures!" So act comfortable and relaxed around women - just treat them like attractive friends.
Huddle up! Woa, woa, woa...stay away. When you are in a group conversation, make sure there is plenty of room all around you. Reverenced things seem to always have space around them, and so should you. You need some leg room because you are the big man on campus.
"I wish I knew what was so mysterious about him..." Make them in awe of you. Leave with style- make a brilliant exit. Say or do something at the end of your conversation that will leave her wanting more. Stroke her shoulder on your way by, drop a compliment on your way by, tell her you'll see her again, or do a stunt on the way out the door. She will think of you if you leave her with something to think about.
Mirror, mirror, on the wall...how am I lookin? Probably the most important thing after all this other stuff is to mirror the girl you want. What that means is that if she has her arms folded, fold your arms; if her hands are in her back pocket, put your hand in your back pocket; if she laughs, laugh with her; and if she is sitting by herself, join her. This is a sales technique that my dad taught me, but it works for just about any conversation. It builds comfort because it shows you are understanding and easy to talk to.
Have you got bad luck with women? Chances are that you don't know when to stop. Stop while you're ahead. When the girl shows signs of disinterest, stop talking and give her a break. The signs are rocking, leg swinging, looking around the room, tapping, intermittent closing of the eyes, slight tucking of the chin into the chest, and haunching the shoulders. Once you give her a little time, try to find a hot topic of conversation - one she is comfortable with; don't get on a debatable topic because that will spawn bad energy or something...
"Why isn't he giving me attention?" Some girls lose interest because you don't give them attention. Yes, if you want them, you need to give them attention and not let them slip away. Just be extra friendly. If you don't give them attention when they give you the right signals, they may move on, and you will lose your chance. This means you need to have an understanding of the body language of women. Click here to read "Reading women's body language" from SeductionSecret.com. That is an awesome article - very thorough.
Cameras are amazing. Most cell phones come with a camera feature. Ask a friend to video tape you at a party or a social event. Watch the video and write down everything you don't like about your body language: round back, talk to fast, jerky movements, wandering eyes, bad habits, etc. You will notice things about yourself that you never knew.
She doesn't like me! You can tell whether or not a girl is interested by her body language. Duh. She can tell whether or not you are interested by your body language too. Make sure you are getting the right point across. Glenn Livingston gives us a few examples: "Negative = crossed arms, fidgeting, scowling, leaning away, 'darting' eyes, close palms, arms behind the head, etc ... Positive = relaxed eye contact, leaning in, open palms, accepting via head nodding, arms uncrossed, etc"
Apply it all! Even if now, you are considered wierd or creepy by most standards, don't take it personally - it is just your mannerisms. Chances are, if you are reading this, you are NOT a sketchy person - you are just a guy who needs a little more romance or appreciation in his life. Just change your mannerisms.
I need to tell you something very important about body language and portraying the image that works best for you: believe in yourself. You need to first believe you ARE a lovable, fun, sexy guy before other people see that in you. All this body language talk will mean NOTHING unless you believe in yourself and give it root. Don't get me wrong - you need to take the above advice, but you will most likely still have a problem with girls if it isn't rooted in your belief system. You CAN get a beautiful woman to be yours - it takes practice, self improvement, and a lot of first-hand learning, but it CAN be done. Sometimes it can be done without security and self-esteem. Just get out there and do your stuff, and you will notice it is much easier to believe that you are a stud. If you REALLY need to, try self-hypnosis or subliminal techniques such as writing positive thoughts (I love life, Girls love me, I'm so funny) out on a piece of paper in your pocket and looking at it 10 times a day...but...keep in mind that hypnosis and subliminal techniques are temporary, so refresh them if need be.
The key to using body language is to show that you are confident and comfortable. When you are fishing for girls, always show your social status is at the same level or above the level of the girl, because at first, you want her to fantasize about you as a dream and not an obtainable goal. Seduction, however, will only succeed as far as you take flirting.