How to
Identify a Batterer
Although a spousal batterer is most often a man, it
can also be a woman. Look for the following signs if you suspect
that someone is abusing his or her spouse or partner.
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Steps:
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1.
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Look to see
if he or she isolates their spouse from friends and family. |
2.
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Make note if he or she calls their spouse degrading or hurtful
names.
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3.
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Watch out for signs of cruelty or abuse towards animals or
children.
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4.
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Notice if this person denies their anger at the same time that
they display signs of it. They may also be unwilling to admit or
discuss their problems.
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5.
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Keep your eyes open for an out of control temper, indicated by
anger triggered by a small thing or event. |
6.
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Make note if they get easily defensive, or hear criticism when
it's not meant that way.
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7.
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Consider their childhood. People who have grown up in abusive
households are more likely to take abusive action towards their own
family.
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8.
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Look into their background, keeping your eyes open for police
reports by old boyfriends/girlfriends, and for a criminal record in
general.
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9.
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Remember that an absence of long-term, close relationships of
any kind may be a sign of personal instability. |
Tips:
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1.
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An abusive relationship is often characterized by the following cycle. First things are calm. Suddenly, an event triggers anger or violence, followed by a "honeymoon" with apologies, claims to change, agreeing to go to counseling, or gift giving. Things become calm again and the cycle repeats itself.
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2.
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Alcohol and drug use may be a part of the cycle of battery.
An addiction to either, however, is no excuse for abuse of any
kind
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Warnings:
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Be careful when around the person you suspect of being
the batterer. Avoid situations where you will be alone with them
and their spouse. If you find yourself in a threatening
situation, or if you witness any kind of abuse, call 911 for
your safety and theirs.
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