How to Identify a Batterer

Although a spousal batterer is most often a man, it can also be a woman. Look for the following signs if you suspect that someone is abusing his or her spouse or partner.

Steps:

1.  

Look to see if he or she isolates their spouse from friends and family.

2.  

Make note if he or she calls their spouse degrading or hurtful names.

3.  

Watch out for signs of cruelty or abuse towards animals or children.

4.  

Notice if this person denies their anger at the same time that they display signs of it. They may also be unwilling to admit or discuss their problems.

5.  

Keep your eyes open for an out of control temper, indicated by anger triggered by a small thing or event.

6.  

Make note if they get easily defensive, or hear criticism when it's not meant that way.

7.  

Consider their childhood. People who have grown up in abusive households are more likely to take abusive action towards their own family.

8.  

Look into their background, keeping your eyes open for police reports by old boyfriends/girlfriends, and for a criminal record in general.

9.  

Remember that an absence of long-term, close relationships of any kind may be a sign of personal instability.

 Tips:

1.  

An abusive relationship is often characterized by the following cycle. First things are calm. Suddenly, an event triggers anger or violence, followed by a "honeymoon" with apologies, claims to change, agreeing to go to counseling, or gift giving. Things become calm again and the cycle repeats itself. .

2.  

Alcohol and drug use may be a part of the cycle of battery. An addiction to either, however, is no excuse for abuse of any kind

 Warnings:

Be careful when around the person you suspect of being the batterer. Avoid situations where you will be alone with them and their spouse. If you find yourself in a threatening situation, or if you witness any kind of abuse, call 911 for your safety and theirs.

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