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Guest
Speakers
Jackson reports:
Good morning Vietnam. Unfortunately, the
lastest scheme to steal the collectible Annie plates has again failed.
Do not worry for right now, puppets are currency. Sarah the cat is a mean
and occasionally vicious creature who is unable to connect with her fellow
human counterparts. Who's afraid of the Virginia wolf? Obviously Ed Shockley.
Perhaps, I should speak seriously for a moment. One of the current trends
among today's youths is snorting cocaine (or coke-kane, in their perverted
and often ridiculous slang). For those Bible-thumping morons out there
who ignore the presence of "coke-kane" among today's youth, it is a fine
powdered substance that is inhaled through the nose or "hose-pipe" as they
call it. It will enable the user to solve all their problems in life and
become a happy and fulfilled person. But, since the "coke-kane" is supplied
by the dirty Slavs, adults do not advocate its use. So, do your best to
snort "coke-kane" and kill the police, because they do nothing that is
good and want to steal your teddy bear that is named Harold. While we are
on the subject of teddy bears named Harold, strike a blow for freedom.
Slap a democrat. Don't you love the Boss? Because I don't. I wish him ill-luck
and a day filled with more George Clooney than is reccomended by four out
of five doctors. Another serious issue in modern-day America is premartial
ping-pong. Too many of today's youths are playing ping-pong before marriage,
which is bad for the environment, for no apparent reason. Also, no playing
golf while naked and in a bed, because those bastards as Burger King gave
us too many french fries. I'll have a double whooper (hilarious British
accent not included). Speaking of illiterate penguins, let's start a petition
to have the Mayor turned into a optimistic. And by the way, Jenna Bush's
federally protected wetlands are now open for public drilling. 'Natch.
Fuv's Rebuttal:
Are you all staring at my rebuttal again?
Well, hello, I am here again for the first time, and this is a monkey.
I am a student of e.e. cummings (since he has a funny name) and as such,
i will no longer write in caps. yep, that's the way that the monkey does
the hula, while crumbling. and yes indigo, monkeys do crumble, so there.
i do believe that my part is better than jackson's part, because i will
endourse u2. their new song elevation is. yes, that's right, it is. that
is all i have to say, though i will go on, because i am under contract
from the webmaster baiter. and yes, he is an excellent fisherman. my shoe
was stuck, and is was no longer. anywho, they are chuck tailors. actually,
they were chuck taylor's, but i digress. i don't want jackson to be al.
again, i have chuck taylor's, and i am very proud of such an endangered
species. this commentary is going down the toilet. why i am even bothering?
no one is going to be reading this anyway. indigo's water is highly wonderful,
and it is h2O. i am done i think. i don't know. i don't know!!! n'sync's "pop" is not good. dman is an anagram. it is an anagram for adam. so there
you go . godspeed to all of you meatheads. i will close with a joke. a
priest
says to a rabbi, "why don't you eat ham?" and the rabbi says "it's against
my religion". the rabbi says to the priest "why don't you date girls?"
and the priest says "it's against my religion". so the rabbi says "you
should try it. it's better than ham." long live archie bunker, and have
a good day.
Indigo Retina's
Apology
Well, what have we just read? Jackson preached
about "coke-kane." Fuv preached about Chuck Taylor...I think. Now, I will
preach about something. I am here to say that this site does not necessarily
endorse all of the words that were put on this page by Fuv and Jackson,
except for, of course the words a, the, but, when, there, just , and the
phrase "Indigo's water is highly wonderful", because it is, oh god it is.
"In West Philadelphia, born and raised..." Come on, admit it, you know
the entire rest of that theme song. Oh yes you do. Don't deny it. Don't
give me none o' yo' lip. "Gone in 60 Seconds" was gone from my TV in less
that 60 seconds. Julia Robert's lips are stranger than Marky Mark becoming
Mark Wahlberg, and Robert Redford is strange, period. Thank you, and don't
forget not to tip your waitress.
Go to The Babble
That Was The First "Guest Speakers" Column
Go to The Not-Babble
That Was The Point/Counterpoint on "Planet of the Apes"
Go to Fuv and
Jackson's reviews of "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back"
Go to Fuv's
Review of "Ocean's 11" and Jackson's letter to Antonio Atacan
Go to Lola's Debut Article on Avril Lavigne
Go to The Emo Point/Counterpoint
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