Guest
Speakers
Ladies
and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to announce both the writing
debut of Odephius McAntismash and the return of Roxie Downwardspiral (AKA
Lola), but also IRSOS's tackling of an issue that has remained mostly untackled.
IRSOS gives you a Point/Counterpoint on the existence of the musical genre
known as Emo.
Point
Roxie
Downwardspiral
Emocore.....that
sounds like a can of tuna
No, this article isn¹t strictly about
emocore music. But I came up with the title while I was washing my face
and thought it was darn clever. Why, explain to me WHY, emo and it¹s
angry little brother emocore (or screamo) became so popular? What makes
thousands of girls (and boys) fawn over girly looking boys who whine?
Every emo song I hear sounds like the dying cat parade on speed.
However well written the songs are (in the case of Dashboard Confessional
anyway) or how poorly, it¹s all the same. Some skinny white
boy with a guitar, a trendy ³vintage² T-shirt, and a floppy Eric
Foreman-eqsue hair cut, singing about how his girl left him and how much
it is destroying him internally, or about blisters or porcelain or bandages,
or God. Yet all of this is done while whining and screaming at the
top of said white boy¹s lungs. I am surprised he doesn¹t
loose his voice.
This is a relatively new phenomenon.
Personally I am frightened that a person with a brain and ears for that
matter can stand this breed of music. In fact, while on the way home
from work one day, I realized that a particular emo band¹s lead singer
sounded like Screech from Saved by the Bell. Oh yeah, real attractive,
kids. Nothing fresh comes from this genre, and when something appears
to be fresh to the people living under the proverbial non-indie rock like
yours truly; the diehard fans complain about how that band sold out and
that they have been around for years. They¹re just as whiny as the
bands they¹re preaching about.
What I don¹t understand is that many
emo songs are meant to be ballads of love. Tell me something emo
rock star, do you really think bitching about you aching heart and sounding
like a prepubescent boy is going to get you into a girl¹s pants?
Oh honey you¹ve got another thing coming. Plus you are far too skinny.
Eat something! What¹s even more amusing is the fans of emo.
They all look the same to a point. They wear the shirts, and studded
belts and Dickies, those stupid nautical star tattoos, not to mention those
oh so trendy emo glasses that even Weezer wouldn¹t write a song about.
Dickies and studded belts should only be worn by people who truly have
the balls to do it. That seems to make sense to me and no one else.
The emo boys, although they look cute from afar, are just silly boys who
listen to bad music and have bad haircuts.
Now onto the the tuna. Emocore is
probably worse then just whining about a girl. Now, they¹re
screaming about more macabre things and sounding very depressed yet still
fronted by a prepubescent boy. Just look at these lyrics from Finch: "Today
is on fire. The sky is bleeding above me, and I am blistered. I walk these
lines of blasphemy, everyday and still...like a bad star, I'm falling faster
down to her. She's the only one who knows, what it is to burn."
They could almost be Metallica lyrics they¹re so dark. Emocore
is the horrible radioactive love child of regular emo and nu-metal.
It makes me laugh how easy it is to write
an emo song. And here is my guide on how to do it. For the
Emo boy, write a sappy love song for your girlfriend and make sure to include
that you miss the smell of her hair (and that it¹s everywhere, screaming
infidelities) and her (insert band name here) t-shirt. Also, include
how you gave your girl a cheesy 25 cent promise ring and how she threw
it at you. Be certain to write about all the love letters and poems
you wrote to your girl, and sing about an entry in a diary that depicts
a summer. Tell your girl about how every other girl you have dated
in the past has not made you feel the way you feel when you're with her.
As an added bonus, talk about the emo names for your unborn children: Dexter,
Eddie, Corey, Mat (with one T cause that¹s just so emo), Nathan, or
Jesse. If the emo boy does not have said girlfriend, than emo boy
should write songs about his cat.
Emo, in summation, is just an excessively
lethargic version of punk, and emocore is a mass suicide waiting to happen.
It¹s that ³oh my life sucks so why don¹t you kill me²
feeling. Hey wait, didn¹t Beck say that first? Emo, apparently
stands for "emotion." The cute little abbreviation makes sense, but
can¹t a band be quote "emotional" without blowing out one¹s speakers
due to wailing words and high pitched vocals? Wait, I take that back,
they sound like screaming rabbits, nails on a chalkboard, a dentist¹s
drill, that uncomfortable sound your teeth make when they rub against each
other. Please pick one.
Emo will hopefully die the same well deserved
death that the Macarena suffered shortly. Music trends (except for The
Beatles) die. Hot Topic can only supply those studded belts for so
long. One day the former emo kids will look back on their youth and
hide their heads in shame. Similar to what any former trend whore does
as they think of their past. And maybe, just maybe, people will listen
to good music.
Real music, with lyrics that mean something and don¹t
sound like they were written in less than 10 minutes. You can only
do that if you¹re John Lennon.
Counterpoint
Odephius
McAntismash
Oh, shut up you guys...............
No, really, as a supposed "emo kid" myself,
I decided to write an article in defense of emo, plus, Mr. Retina would
not let me write my own bio if i did not. First of all, I do not
understand how people can say they dislike a form of music because of it's
popularity. When I say "pop music sucks" I don't say it sucks because
of the teenieboppers who listen to it, or because it's played on every
station, but because it quite simply stinks. Plus, many people seem
to think that because they don't like people who like emo, they can't like
emo itself, but how come a personal dislike for a person or group of persons
should leak into one's dislike of a form of music? And what is all
of this about all emo kids being skinny white kids with dumb t-shirts and
sloppy hair? I'll admit that MOST of the band members dress like
that, but what about the members of Planes Mistaken for Stars, or Sunny
Day Real Estate?
Emo itself is NOT a new phenomenon; it
has been around since around 1984 or so, with bands such as Rites of Spring
or Moss Icon. The emo that most people see these days is quite different
from the original type, which sounded much more like punk, and is closer
to today's emocore. As for the statement that nothing fresh ever
comes from this genre, I suggest everyone take a listen to anything by
Fugazi, and then anything by the Promise Ring, 'nuff said.
Now that you know a shaky history of emo,
we should clear a few things up. First of all, and most importantly,
Dashboard Confessional, today, borders far closer to Pop music than Emo.
Far too many people use Dashboard as an excuse to bash emo. Sure,
he's got sad lyrics, and sure, he doesn't smile, but the music he is putting
out nowadays is really only being played to be played on the radio.
Mr. Carraba has had his day with emo, and if you want to hear it, pick
up Dashboard's first CD (The Swiss Army Romance) or Further Seems Forever's
CD The Moon Is Down. My second problem is with emocore bashers, because
most people who make fun of it do not know what it is. Finch is not emocore,
Taking Back Sunday is not emocore. From Autumn To Ashes is emocore,
One Dying Wish is emocore, Samiam is emocore. Check them out,
and then we'll see about it. And finally, people who make fun of
the lyrics do not really listen to emo. They hear "your hair is everywhere"
and think that they've heard it all. Most emo lyrics are heartfelt,
and mean something, and even further, the lyrics may not even be "emo".
Rather, the emotion is expressed through the music (and besides, if you're
gonna write about a journal entry, it'd be in winter, winter's emo, duh).
I think it would be dumb if emo bands existed and very few people ever
felt sad. Well, guess what, everyone does feel sad sometimes, and I think
it's nice to know that there's a type of music out there just for you.
Run-on sentences and bad grammar aside,
emo is a very varied type of music, with ups and downs in each genre.
I don't expect for everyone to love emo, but I think it would be nice for
people to give it the respect it deserves. It's not the best music
out there, but it keeps me listening, and does the same for many others.
Get used to it.
Thanks Roxie and Odephius, for your strong and humorous
opinions. This debate is over, and if you don't like it, why don't
you cry about it. Muhahaha.
