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Page 8: Finally, Page 8

You find yourself in the middle of the Mario Brothers game. Seeing no use in trying to rescue the princess, as she is in another castle, you have decided to switch to another game. We won't go into the details of how you do this while you are inside the game, much less why you don't die when the system is turned off.
You chose a game that should have been much more popular, M.C.Kids. That's right, it's a game about McDonalds. You thought you had escaped from the McDungeon, but you have only begun to McTravel it.

You don't get far before you run into McRonald McDonald. You are understandably very hesitant after hearing on the news about a child molester who has been running around dressed as a clown. You ask him if he has seen The Grimace, but he seems to be a robot McRonald programmed to do nothing but send you on some menial task related to the plot of M.C.Kids. Something about a "Magic Bag." We'll ignore this blatantly obvious McInnuendo and try to enjoy this sideplot.

You progress through the first 6 levels in search of Ronald's puzzle cards. Every time you go back to talk to him he's a real dutchbag, until you finally retrieve his precious cards. Well, rather than reward you with something useful, like information about The Grimace or a big knife, he just sends you off somewhere else. The nerve! You shout "Boogie this!" and sucker-punch him in the kidney (a move you learned from Travolta) and then kick him in the shins. You leave Ronald McChildMolester wincing in pain on the ground. Oh, and you stole his puzzle cards. And his wallet.
After more questing, you finally find a lead.

Big Purple House! Of course! It all makes perfect sense now! You make your way to the cliffs so that you can finally speak with The Grimace.

Well, it would appear that you have just followed a false lead. A red herring. This is not The Grimace, but merely a robot that LOOKS like The Grimace. After all, would the real Grimace, keeper of all wisdom and knowledge, ever utter the words "Duh" or "I don't know?" Besides, if it were really The Grimace, when he saw the Hamburglar he would have used his telekinesis to break his freaking back.
Well, it's not like we haven't learned anything from all this. Now we are more certain that The Grimace was kidnapped and is being held somewhere that is not this video game. It is also clear that no one in this game is going to help you. They are all mindless androids programmed for tasks limited to those that serve to advance the game.

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