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					the mortal coil by Dyin' Isis http://www.xenafan.com/fiction/content5/disis_mortalcoil1.html SYNOPSIS: A wild west adventure that takes our heroines out to the frontier, and face to face with the notorious outlaw Coal Damian. A sweeping saga of love, money debutantes, betrayal and oddly enough, no subtext! NANCY: I chose to read this story amongst the multitudes out there because of the name of the author! Clever, I thought. After almost a page and a half of disclaimers I almost decided not to read it, as funny as parts of it were. LISTEN UP PEOPLE! I don't care if disclaimers have turned into an art form, we want to read the story!! Dyin' Isis sets the stage for this wild west epic with a sweeping opening sequence, filled with glorious amounts of description. (extract): Not a true drive for understanding was the impetus behind these thoughts, but the cataloguing of the surrounding scene... EWOK: ... and its requisite adjectives. Can I put this dictionary down now, Nancy? My arms are getting tired. NANCY: Keep up the good work there, Ewok! Despite the author's claim in the extended disclaimer not to want any commentary on the story, we couldn't resist...but hey, if it's out there, it's fair game. The writing is a tad clunky. I found myself getting a little annoyed that my enjoyment of what was essentially a clever uber was being undermined (yet again) by little mistakes that a spellchecker and a fine edit could eliminate. EWOK: Sounds like Dyin' Isis is trying for a Robert "MYTH-inc" Aspirin sense of humour, and falling short. Light some more incense on the altar of Viv Darkbloom, baby. NANCY: The wild west is a budding area for fanfiction, and for a first time effort I think this one deserves a peek. Just bring along a good dictionary, our author here gets a little carried away with the long words at times. NANCY: 6.5 out of 10. At least this writer understands that the story is everything. Could use more substance and less window dressing. EWOK: 6 out of 10. And a nice ranch salad dressing.