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in the shadow of the eagle's wing
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the price of innocence
heat in the desert
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i do
long fall of shadows
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by lela kaunitz
http://xenafiction.net/scrolls/lela_kaunitz_w.hts

SYNOPSIS:
UberGabrielle and UberXena meet for a drink. Sort of.

NANCY:
More like "almost".

EWOK:
Well, this is the kind of romantic, life-affirming sweetness we've come to expect from uberfiction, isn't it? The disclaimer recommends "mature readers", and perhaps - as a mere sidekick - I don't fit into this category but ...

*snicker*

It looks like the bard got bored halfway in, chopped off a few loose ends with all the finesse of Gabrielle making sushi with a chakram, and came up with this.

NANCY:
Well, I happen to like sushi, and as for tying off loose ends, at least she BOTHERS! I found this story to be really sharp (like most of this bard's writing), and it doesn't fall into those goddamn boring "we're-going-to-have-the-best-sex-in-the-universe-right-now-even-though-we-just-met" traps!

EWOK:
Who are you to begrudge them good sex?

NANCY:
Every goddamn time? I mean, sooner or later somebody has to be just not in the mood, don't they? Now I like this story, blacker than black with a touch of ironic humour. Ahhhhh. That hits the spot. And it doesn't run for 100 plus pages so it's like a short, gasping breath of fresh air.

EWOK:
An excessive fondness for adjectives, not to mention a bad habit of leaving vital pieces of sentences OUT, seems to be characteristic of Lela's style. My grammar checker was going berserk with "fragment" warnings.

NANCY:
Ewok, the last time I checked, this was fiction, not some goddamn doctoral thesis. You could put Lord of the Rings through your grammar checker and it would go berserk. Besides, I bet your grammar checker is in Word, right? Its grammar checker goes off when you run a check through its own HELP file! So please, spare me.

EWOK:
I happen to put these reviews through the Word grammar checker, thanks Nancy, and they come up just fine. Someone was in need of a good editor, methinks.

NANCY:
NO spelling errors, MINIMAL grammar problems (despite your obviously schizophrenic grammar checker) and a tightly woven, fast hitting storyline. You are damn well hard to please.

EWOK:
Nancy, why the hell did you put this in your top five?

NANCY:
Because I CAN.


rating:
-------------
EWOK:
6 out of 10, since someone's drinking bourbon. Yummo.

NANCY:
Fans of Conqueror stories should love this - picture making Evil-Xena wait for anything and transfer the same viciousness over to an Uber Gabby character. My senses are still ringing from imagining her eyes. 9 big ones, count them Ewok, *9*!

EWOK:
I can count. Who did your taxes this year?