We sat around your place and had some wine.
We had the urge and we had the time.
And I'll certify that it sure was fine,
But, honey, there ain't no way.
Now you're coming to me with tears in your eyes,
Telling me a whole pack of lies,
But, woman, I've got a little surprise.
Honey, there ain't no way.

There ain't no way. There ain't no way.
You say you're gonna have your lawyer make me pay,
But, woman, I've just got one thing to say:
Honey, there ain't no way.
I've been to the doctor and I had it done.
You know I still like my loving fun,
But there's no way it can be my daughter or son.
No, honey, there ain't no way.

Well I've been with you girl, I'll admit.
In fact it was a marvelous fit.
But if you faint easy, you'd better sit,
Cause, honey, there ain't no way.
You're coming to me and calling me "Pop,"
But I'm afraid I'm gonna hafta let the other shoe drop.
This saying that it's mine is gonna have to stop
Cause, honey, there ain't no way.

Chorus.

There's just one thing I don't understand.
You say you haven't been with any other man,
But I had the tube cut from that gland,
So, honey, there ain't no way.
Before you hired that lawyer and ran amok,
You should have talked to me about passing the buck.
I'd have explained to you that you were just out of luck.
Honey, there ain't no way.

Chorus.

Vernon McCall had both diabetes
And epilepsy to choke off his years
And an acre of forest the pine merchants wanted
Saying "Vernon move out, we want the land clear."

Vernon McCall lived in an old trailer
On land that his father had owned there for years
But the Forestry Service changed all the boundaries
Saying "Vernon move out, we want the land clear."

Vernon McCall was away doing odd jobs
When Danny Hile came with a tractor and gear
And dug a big hole and buried the trailer
Saying "Vernon move out, we want the land clear.

Vernon had things that were left from his mother
And from his two brothers who had died the last year
But they were all buried by the government tractor
With its "Vernon move out, we want the land clear.

Vernon McCall, he took his loss badly
He was bad to the whisky, his mind wasn't clear
One night he fell down and passed out in the highway
With "Vernon, move out" ringing loud in his ears.

The car came a-driving the dark curving roadway
Saw Vernon too late there even to veer
Now Vernon lies buried and free from the taunting
Of "Vernon, move out, we want the land clear."