Text describing the dream is in italics. My commentary is in normal style.

Hong Kong Comedy
Secret Agent
Combination Lock to Reality

Dream: Hong Kong Comedy

I was watching a movie -- a Hong Kong comedy (think lite, slapstick, etc.). It was called the "Swamp Seminary Love Student". I think the chinese supposedly translated to "Swamp College Love Student", but since the school setting didn't matter I guess it's ok. It was about a dorky nerd who told stories of his wild sexual escapades with the coeds. All his friends knew it was a lie -- no female students would get near him. Well his teacher (played by Madonna with a Hong Kong English accent) did hit on him -- and she was a real man-eater (illustrated for the audience when she fed a small guppy to a large fish in her aquarium). The nerd told all his friends of his wild hanging-from-the-ceiling-type sex, but of course, no one believed him.

Well, one day he meets up with a normal female student who turns out to like him. I'm not sure if she was the teacher's daughter or a fellow student (those Hong Kong comedies are often unclear...). Anyway the teacher gets jealous and kidnaps the girl and takes her to her secret lair in the swamp mountains. (Yes, she's got a lair, just like an evil villain -- complete with uniformed henchmen.)

So the nerd goes to rescue her on a Harley with a sleeve-less shirt and exciting nonsensical action ensues. It all turns out well at the end and everyone lives happily ever after. Or at least I think that's how it ends since my alarm woke me up. I got the feeling it ended well, like all Hong Kong comedy's should. Only I've never seen a Hong Kong comedy nor do I know if there is such a thing as a Hong Kong comedy.

Dream: Secret Agent

I was sitting with my team of special operatives and we had just gotten to meet President Clinton. Someone had given the President a gift-wrapped package that said "monopoly set" on it. He didn't want it so he gave it to us on his way out.

We opened it and found that it was a nice leather briefcase. Inside were high quality photo IDs from various countries of a child with a moustache and beard drawn on with pencil. They had various names: John Thompson, Ivan Voinovitch, Carlos Mendoza, etc. We could tell that they were CIA-issue and were for a boy of around 12 years old -- probably a birthday present for the child from a parent that worked for the CIA. Using CIA equipment for frivolous purposes is a big "no-no". An informant probably tried to give the package to the President, hoping he would discover it.

We knew the CIA would want these back, so we went to the CIA headquarters to turn them in. It seems that the father who made these for his kid didn't want anyone to know about the fake IDs. It would probably result in his termination and since he was relatively high up in the command structure he was going to handle it differently.

He asked us to go into the next room and then he turned his goons loose on us. Only I and one of my teammates made it out alive. He looked like Antonio Banderas in the movie Desperado.

We immediately went "underground" in Brazil. The CIA made it look like we were vicious criminals and had the police and news media out looking for us. We couldn't go anywhere.

Antonio had connections, a wife and child, living in an apartment high-rise. I knew it wasn't safe for him to meet with his wife, because they were probably being watched. But Antonio said he had a way to get 2 plane tickets for us to escape to another country where the heat wouldn't be on us.

Antonio and I met at his wife's apartment. He gave me a ticket and said we would meet at the airport. I made it to the airport at nearly the same time he and his wife did. They were waiting in line. Antonio got nervous when he saw me and told his wife he would go on ahead and wait for her. He used his ticket and went into the plane.

When I tried to use my ticket, the airline rep said the ticket I held had already been used on this flight. I realized immediately that he gave me a duplicate of his own ticket so that his wife could use the other. That was why he wanted to get on the plane ahead of me. I knew then that he double-crossed me. He wanted me to get caught at the airport so he and his wife could get away in all the commotion.

I quickly made up a story about being mugged on the way to the airport and said that the person who used my ticket and was now sitting on my seat must be the man who mugged me. I knew Antonio would probably expect me to say that, and that Antonio probably traded seats with someone the instant he got onboard.

While I was talking to the airline rep, I also knew that each moment I waited there at the airport was one moment closer to having the police or security show up and recognize me. I knew that if I didn't resolve this in the next 30 seconds, I was sure to be caught. I asked the airline rep to find the man who mugged me, and when she went onto the plane, I slunk back into the crowd, hoping that when security arrived they would find Antonio -- my own teammate who tried to double-cross me.

Then I woke up. So what do you think this dream means (if anything)? No, I didn't see the movie, Ballistics: Ecks vs. Sever.

Dream: Combination Lock to Reality

I had a bizarre dream. It was in the early 1900's. Normally I don't dream of this time period because it isn't a really very exciting period.

In this dream, there was a form of time-traveling magic. It's hard to explain, but basically, the physical world is like a combination lock. Moving some objects in a particular way causes changes to happen -- like magic. In the dream, there was a guy (who may be me, I'm not sure - you know how these dream conventions work) and his friends. They took a car out to the desert. While there, he moved a rock, twisted a branch on a tree and walked around these objects in a particular way.

When they got back to town, they noticed that on a sign outside a store the name of the owner had changed. It had been Stephens' Hardware, and now it was Stephenson's Hardware. The original owner's name had been changed. At first they didn't realize what had happened. And some of the friends even doubted that it had been Stephens' Hardware in the first place. Besides, what could such a small change be useful for.

The guy went back and performed his rituals again, but in reverse. When he came back to town, the name had reverted back to Stephens' Hardware. Again he told his friends, but they didn't seem too interested. So he went out one more time. This time when he came back, he owned the store himself (although it was called "Stephenson's Hardware" -- I guess he liked the name). It also changed a few other things: Some woman was attacked by a shark, and 'the guy' was very wealthy.

He told his friends and this time they believed him, but they were affected by the changes too and couldn't remember the way things had been originally.

It must be that when the guy left town to go to the desert, he changed the past of the things in the town. Anyone not in the town was outside the effect, but anything in the town at the time the changes happened was effected.

Now that's a wacky dream. It made its own sort of sense though. And it could be happening today. How would I know, since I am "in town" and my past is being changed. What didn't make sense is how 'the guy' knew what to do to get a desired effect (or maybe he just got lucky in the changes he made - or maybe any changes made are automatically beneficial to whomever makes the changes). He didn't read a book of magic rituals as far as I know.

Maybe that is a good explanation today for how some wealthy and famous people got their wealth and fame. It would sure explain Julia Roberts and Keanu Reeves. It sort of reminded me of "The Thirteenth Floor" or "Dark City".

Sleep is when all the unsorted stuff comes flying out as from a dustbin upset in a high wind.
--William Golding