There's No Place That Far

Category: Voyager J/C, P/T

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Voyager is attacked and apparently destroyed while Captain Janeway, Chakotay, and Tom Paris are on an away mission. They must learn to deal with the loss of their friends, and with each other. Don't worry, there is no slash or threesomes in this.

Disclaimer: Paramount owns all of it, but I doubt they'd claim this. It has entirely too much feeling in it.

St: Voyager and all things contained therein are the property of Paramount Pictures. No infringement intended.

In an Instant…

I've seen some seriously weird shit in my days. You know, like the kind of things that can shake you to the core and make you hide under your pillow at night. I've also seen things that can change your entire life in a matter of seconds. This was both of those things.

It started out mundane enough. We were on the surface of an unremarkable M-Class planetoid doing a survey for supplies. Chakotay, earthy guy that he is, was scanning for minerals and such in the dirt. Captain Janeway was doing a passable impression of Neelix as she plucked neon pink fruit off the trees, scanning it with her tricorder and saying things like, "It looks harmless enough, but what'll it taste like?" And me? I was being my normal hilarious self, teasing the hell out of both of them while I collected endless root samples for the doc and Neelix to analyze. You know, stuff like telling the captain that she should consider dying her hair that electric shade of pink because she had the charisma to pull it off. It was a lame joke, but I like that shimmer in her eyes when she's amused, or is it annoyed, with me. Makes everything seem … I don't know, okay somehow.

Most of the crew would've hated the idea of being planet side on a mission alone with the captain and Chakotay. Hell, I think it would scare most of them to death. Not just because they're the command team, but also because of the way the act together. They try to appear so professional, as if they mean nothing more to each other than valued colleagues. What they don't realize is … we don't buy it.

No one's told them that outright, of course. We co-exist in a state of mutual denial. They deny their feelings; we deny that it shows plainly on their faces. So, they continue with their 'casual touches' that border on caresses, their stolen glances and endless 'working dinners'. And we keep pretending not to know any better, snot-nosed children that we are.

Until their backs are turned.

Then we trade gossip like it's latinum and run betting pools about how long it'll be before one of them finally cracks. Or, at least, we did before all this happened. Anyway, I digress…

I had just finished telling the Big Guy that he looked as contented in that dirt pile as a pig in the mud when Tuvok's voice came trough Janeway's communicator and cut us all to the bone.

At least, that's what I think he said. Between all the static and the red alert klaxons blaring in the background, it was hard to make out. One thing was for certain, he sounded tense, stressed. Well … for a Vulcan anyway.

Janeway slapped her communicator, her auburn head immediately tilting skyward as if she could somehow control the battle if she could just spot her ship. "You're breaking up, Tuvok. Did you say you're under attack?" She shot a questing glance at Chakotay as he moved to her side. She didn't say anything out loud, but I read her expression. Under attack? By who?!

The three of us automatically moved toward the shuttle as Tuvok's voice tried to break through the interference.

<Affirmative, we ….. attacked by four …. sensors did not … until …>

Not the whole story, but enough to know they were in trouble. "We're on our way, Tuvok. Use whatever means necessary to defend yourselves."

<…not advisable… trying to land… methane … cannot follow …. hold your position.>

Before we could decipher his message, the unthinkable happened. Voyager suddenly came into view on the distant horizon. She wasn't much more than a silver speck, but we could still see her. We stopped running, the three of us, and stood there watching in abject horror. There were two alien ships hot on Voyager's tail as they tried to land. They almost made it, too. But almost never counts.

The ships dropped below our view, and then the entire planet rumbled as we saw the tell tale signs of a ship exploding. Flaming debris flew hundreds of feet in the air. We saw the two alien ships ascend from the planet and head toward our location. They emerged and Voyager didn't. That could mean only one thing … the explosion we'd seen was Voyager. Our ship had been destroyed.

I heard the captain scream as the shock wave knocked us off our feet, slamming us into the ground like an enormous paw slapping at a school of tadpoles. I barely had time to suck the air back into my lungs before those damn alien ships starting firing on us. The ground exploded around us as their weapons hit, like something out of one of the old war movies B'Elanna and I watched on our television set.

"There's a small cave just over that rise." Chakotay shouted over the commotion. "It's lined with dense mineral pockets. It should shield us from their sensors."

I nodded my understanding. I had just started moving in the direction he was pointing when I heard him yell to her. "Kathryn, come on. We have to go."

She was standing there, arms crossed over her chest and oblivious to the weapons fire exploding around us, staring at the mushroom shaped cloud of smoke that used to be her ship. She didn't hear him calling, and the alien's aim was rapidly improving.

"Kathryn!" he shouted, starting to move toward her.

Since I was a good five meters closer to her than Chakotay was, I rushed forward and seized her by the waist, holding her to me as I drug her toward the safety of the cave. She struggled against me, thrashing and shouting something about her crew. She used all of her weight (what? 110 pounds maybe.) to fight me, as if I didn't love the people on that ship as much as she did. I knew she'd probably kill me when her senses returned, but I'd be damned if I was going to stand there attempting to reason with her while aliens we'd probably never even met before vaporized her. Besides, it wouldn't be the first time she'd wanted to turn me in to space dust.

Another volley of whatever kind of weapons they were firing slammed into the ground around us. "Oh my God!" she muttered. The spot where she stood only moments ago was completely obliterated. I felt my stomach lurch at the thought of what nearly happened to the captain I had become so fond of. If I hadn't grabbed her, she'd be dead now. I had saved her life! As if sensing my thoughts, she relaxed against me. And I held her to me a little tighter - because I could.

We stumbled into the 'cave', as Chakotay called it. To be more specific, it was more like a crevice. There was barely enough room for the three of us. Tiny - but it was all we had. We couldn't even stand upright in it. We were forced to crouch. Chakotay slid in first, grabbing Janeway by the arm and pulling her to him. I looked at the two of them pressed together, his hands on her shoulders, and despite the urgency of the situation, I felt like a third nacelle. Like the kid brother tagging along on a date.

The blast must've snapped the captain out of her shock, because she sounded like her normal, in control self when she wryly said, "This is no time to be shy, Mr. Paris. I won't bite." She locked on to my wrist and pulled me to her side. "Get in here before they blast you to microfragments."

We crouched there, huddled together like frightened kittens, for what seemed like hours waiting for the shaking to stop. "They're trawling." Chakotay had said. We'd apparently disappeared from their sensors and now they (whoever they were) were just firing blindly, hoping to wipe us out.

"We'd better stay put for the night. Give them time to think we're dead and give up." The captain said. "Tuvok mentioned methane, and that the aliens couldn't follow them if they landed. They must be methane breathers, so at least we don't have to worry about them coming to the surface and searching for us."

Yes, Tuvok had said that. And now he was dead - they were all dead. But none of us were ready to say that out loud. Not yet.

I must've dozed off eventually, because when I opened my eyes, it was dark. I woke to the sound of the captain sobbing softly, her cries muffled as she buried her face in Chakotay's chest. It was a sound I'd never heard before, and one I'll never forget. He held her in his arms, lightly stroking her back and whispering to her that we had all suffered a great loss and it was okay to cry.

I felt my own tears well up in my eyes. How could it be real? They were gone, all of them. In the blink of an eye, I'd lost everything. My friends, my home, Harry. But most of all - my wife. B'Elanna, the woman who had burst into my life like a speeding shuttle out of control. She'd turned my world upside down - and made me the happiest I'd ever been. And now she was gone, taking with her the baby girl I would never hold in my arms. The pain was heavy, crushing my chest like a huge hand squeezing my heart. B'Elanna was gone.

I sniffed, fighting back the tears that were beginning to overpower me. God, don't cry now you idiot. At least wait until you're alone! I was about to lean against the cold stone wall and retreat into myself, as I often do when I'm in pain, when a slender hand reached for me in the dark. She patted around on my arm until she found my hand, and then she clasped it with all the strength and assurance I'd come to expect from her. "Don't turn away from us, Tom." She said softly.

Her small hand was warm in mine, and her voice soothed me like cool water when you're dying of thirst. So, right then I stopped caring about who was the captain, or what was 'appropriate'. I curled up next to her, her hand intertwined snugly with mine, her head on Chakotay's shoulder as he stroked her hair. And the three of us tried to swallow the horrifying concept that life as we'd known it was over. Voyager was no more. We were no longer part of a crew. Hell, we weren't even Starfleet anymore. We were just three small humans stranded on some alien planet in the Delta Quadrant.

Now how the hell do you wrap yourself up in that and fall asleep?

Eventually, morning came. Of course, by that time I couldn't feel my legs, or my soul. We climbed mechanically out of the 'cave' and surveyed our surroundings. For not knowing where their targets were, the aliens did an impressive job. Our little hovel was about the only thing still standing. We walked silently forward, taking in the sight of such destruction with almost Vulcan stoicism. No one said a word, even as we stared at the remains of our shuttle, what little remains there were I mean. That was our last chance off this rock; gone just like everything else we knew and loved. Not that we had anywhere to go. How far can you get in a Class-8 shuttlecraft?

We began sifting through the rubble, hoping to find something that we could use to prolong our pitiful existence. When I asked why we were bothering, Janeway simply responded, "We do what we have to do, Tom. Pretend we care until we actually do."

I shrugged indifferently and kept working. Partly because I didn't care enough about what happened to me to disagree with her, but mostly because I will stay loyal to her until the day I die. Kathryn Janeway doesn't need a ship to be the captain. She simply is.

We spent the next two days setting up "home". We found a decent spot near the base of a waterfall. There was a small pooling where the water was almost still and the fish were abundant. There was a tall cliff on one side, and a thick forest of trees on the other. It would've been beautiful under different circumstances. But to me - it was as ugly as the reality I was trying to digest. At that point, it was hard to imagine that anything would ever hold any beauty for me again.

We slept under the stars. Stars we'd never travel to now that we were earth bound. We had only two blankets, charred as they were, a few rations, one slightly damaged medkit, the phasers and tricorder we had on our belts in the first place, and each other.

It was during those first few days that I learned just how much Chakotay really cared for the captain. I knew all along he had feelings for her, but the depth of those feelings astounded me. It was the small things that really told the story. The way he tried to build a shelter out of wood and shuttle debris with makeshift tools. The way he held her hand while she was sleeping and stoked her hair back out of her face. And the way he listened to her, hearing the things she didn't say. He always seemed to know when to wrap his arms around her and when to leave her alone.

I watched in lonely silence as he put his own grief aside somewhere and cared only about being there for her. We were both worried about her. She stuffed her pain and her grief deep down inside herself. That's just her way. But those feelings have a way of sneaking up on you when you're not looking. I knew she was a photon torpedo ready to blow any minute, and so did Chakotay. It finally happened on the sixth morning of our miserable lives on that planet.

We had just finished picking at our "breakfast", some lumpy purplish concoction that the Big Guy called fruit. She hadn't eaten hardly anything since this whole thing happened, and it was starting to show on her sunken face. She sat her untouched fruit on the ground by her feet and ran her fingers through her hair.

Chakotay eyed her carefully. "You're not going to eat?"

"I'm not hungry right now."

"Kathryn, I haven't seen you eat anything since we got here."

She shot an irritated look in his direction. "Are you handling me, Chakotay?"

Unruffled, he stared right back at her. "No. But I will if I have to."

She glared at him. "I don't need babysitting. Stop hovering over me like I'm some petulant child."

"Then stop acting like one."

I couldn't believe he'd said that to her. I swear I actually heard her blood boiling. I had the sudden urge to get up and run. Dive for cover in the trees. But it was like I was bolted to the log I sat on. I just couldn't move.

She rose to her feet and planted her hands firmly on her hips. Normally, I find that stance reassuring. It usually means she's gone into her kick ass mode and the action is about to begin. But here, on this little planet, it meant that she was either about to have a breakdown, or the Big Guy was a dead man. My bet was on the latter.

"Back off, Commander." She hissed. "If I need your help, I'll ask for it."

"Will you?" he replied calmly. "Because I don't think you can. I don't think you know how to. That would require dropping your shields and letting someone in, sharing your pain. Not exactly your strong suit, is it?"

"I'm not going to stand here and listen this." She turned toward the river and started to walk away.

Chakotay closed the distance between them in about three steps, grabbing her roughly by the shoulders and spinning her to face him. "Yes, you are. Stop running from me. It's time for you to face this."

Her eyes bore into his, and my heart dropped into my stomach. Only Chakotay would have the gutts to do that. I'd never seen him manhandle her before. But his face was set with determination. I guess he thought he'd tiptoed around her denial long enough.

"Let go of me." She said, her voice low and deadly quiet. When he didn't release her, she added, "That's an order, Commander."

He laughed at that. He actually laughed! "An order?" He eased his grip slightly, but didn't let go. "Look around you. We aren't on a ship anymore. There's no command structure, no crew. There's only us. Three people who, like it or not, will be spending the rest of their lives together on this planet."

"Don't you think I know all that? Do you really think a single second goes by that I don't think about it?" she shouted, struggling to free herself from his hold. "Why are you pushing me?"

He wrapped his arms around her, ignoring her fight to escape. "I would never want to hurt you, Kathryn. You know that. And I've tried not to push you. But I won't stand by and watch you kill yourself slowly. I won't let you shut us out, and I won't let you give up!" His voice crackled with emotion as he held her to him. "Damn it! We're all hurting. We all lost people we loved. You're not the only one…"

"I was their captain, Chakotay! They were my responsibility." She glared hatefully at him. "Just let me go. Leave me alone and stop pretending you know how I feel. You have no idea."

He looked as if she'd slapped him. "How can you say that to me? They were my people too. Half of them were my crew before you even came into the picture. Each one of their deaths lessens me in ways I could never explain." His eyes narrowed as he glared at her. "When did you become so cold and heartless, Kathryn?"

She shoved him back with all her might, throwing him off balance and sending them both crashing to the ground. The fall stunned him just long enough for her to wriggle free. But instead of getting up, she rolled away from him and onto her side. She curled up in the fetal position, knees to her chest, and cried like a baby. All the pain, all the anger, all the pent up emotions seemed to come crashing down around her.

For a minute, I didn't know what to do. Walk away? Yell at them both and tell them that they didn't have a monopoly on pain? Remind them that I lost my wife, child, and best friend? Before I even realized it, I walked to where she was lying and stood over her. I guess it should've surprised me, maybe even scarred me for life, to see her that way. She was always larger than life, invincible, so in control. But in retrospect, I wasn't surprised at all. I think I've always understood her in a way the others couldn't. We grew up the same, both raised by famous Starfleet Admirals who were seldom satisfied, and who drilled into us that nothing but the best was acceptable. There are two possible outcomes for children who grow up under that kind of pressure. I am one. She is the other. I rebelled and set myself up for failure. She rose to the challenge and out-shined the competition. I taught myself to make a life out of wallowing in my discontent and blaming my father for my fate. Captain Janeway taught herself to ignore her feelings and deny her emotions, and she spent her days blaming herself for her father's fate. Looking at her was like looking at a reverse image of myself - complete opposites yet undeniably the same.

I suppose this understanding is why I wasn't afraid to reach down and put my hand on her shoulder. Why I didn't think twice about picking her up off the ground and clutching her to my chest. And why it felt so comforting to hold her while she cried. I've loved her for a long time. Not in the intense way I love my wife, but with more intimacy than I love my friends. And not in the same way Chakotay loves her either. I can't categorize it, it's just there. I'd humiliate myself a hundred times over just to make her smile.

So, I sat on the ground, holding my captain in my arms and crying for all we had lost. Chakotay didn't say anything, he just brushed himself off and glanced at us before he walked away into the trees. I think he knew I'd take care of her. And I think he needed to be alone for a while among the trees and wildlife he took such solace in. It was almost as if he felt his job was done for the time being. He'd pushed her until she finally had to deal with her feelings, and now he was going off alone to find and come to terms with his own emotions. Good hunting, Commander.

I don't know how long we sat there, clinging to each other. All I know is that I would've stayed there as long as she needed me to. Eventually, she lifted her head off my chest and looked at me, wiping the tears from her cheeks. "I'm sorry, Tom." She whispered.

You know me, always trying to lighten the mood. "That's okay, Captain. My uniform needed washing. You just saved me the trouble."

She chuckled softly and gave my shoulder a squeeze before rising to her feet. "No, I mean I'm sorry for loosing control like that. Not very captain-like, was it?"

I shrugged. "Maybe not. But it was very human-like. And, despite your best attempts to hide it, I know you're only human like the rest of us."

"I know that, Tom." She said, wringing her hands in front of her. "But I'm being insensitive to you. You lost far more than I did when that ship exploded. I'm sorry I've been so selfish when you could've used a friend."

My eyes teared up despite myself. "Don't apologize, Captain. We're all suffering here, and not one of us more than the other. You can't weigh pain. When it hurts - it hurts."

She reached over and lightly touched my cheek. "I wish your father could see how wise his son has become. Thank you for being here for me today."

"Ah, no problem." I grinned. "I didn't really have plans or anything. I don't know if you've noticed or not, but the social life on this planet really sucks."

That did it. The somber mood was somewhat broken and she was actually laughing. Well, for a minute anyway. Then I watched her gaze wander to the grove of trees where Chakotay had disappeared on his quest for peace.

"I was horrible to him." She said.

"I'm sure he understands. None of us are exactly in our right minds these days."

"What I said was unforgivable." She wrapped her arms around herself. "He was right when he said I've grown cold and heartless."

I hated it when she beat herself like that. "He didn't mean that, Captain. He was just upset. I'm sure everything will be fine when he gets back."

"If he comes back at all." She muttered.

"He'll come back. I have no doubt about that." She didn't say anything. She just sat there staring at her hands. So I continued. "You know, he really loves you."

"Yes. He's a good friend."

Evasive maneuvers, Captain? "That's not what I meant, and you know it." I locked my eyes on her, willing her not to look away. "He's in love with you. It shows on his face every time he looks at you. And … I think you love him too."

Once again, she didn't respond. She just averted her eyes.

I guess I'm getting gutsy in my old age, because I actually said, "Look, Captain, I don't expect you to admit it to me or anything. I'm only asking you to listen. I just lost the only woman I've ever truly loved, and I didn't even get a chance to tell her goodbye. But at least I know that she knew how much I loved her. She knew that she meant more to me than anything in the universe and that she changed my life." I put my hand on her shoulder. "Chakotay almost stayed on Voyager for this mission, remember? You would've lost him without ever telling him how you feel. And you would've spent the rest of your life swearing that you'd give anything for just one more chance to let him know you love him. You have that chance now, Captain. He's alive and here trying to make your life on this godforsaken planet a little easier. He's a good guy and he'd do anything to make you happy. And with all due respect, you're a fool if you don't run right into his arms and tell him how much he means to you … Ma'am."

She raised an eyebrow at me. Given her state of mind at the time, I guess I'm lucky she didn't slap me. "Well, I hadn't realized match-making was one of your many hobbies, Mr. Paris."

"And I hadn't realized tackling was one of yours." I teased. "You took the Big Guy to the ground in nothin' flat! Remind me never to play football against you."

This solicited a chuckle from her and earned me that crooked grin I love so much. "I really owe him an apology." The eyebrow went up again. "You think he'll buy it if I blame my behavior on lack of coffee?"

I nodded. "Temporary Insanity secondary to caffeine deprivation. Sounds plausible to me."

It was just before sunset when Chakotay finally came strolling through the trees. He'd been gone all day, and I thought the captain would go crazy waiting for him to return. He had taken his shirt off and tied it to a stick, like an old hobo's pack. "Look what I found to go with dinner."

He opened the shirt and scooped up a handful of small brown kernels. He held them out to Janeway. "A peace offering." He winked.

She took the kernels in her hand and looked down at them, confusion on her face. "What are they?"

"Smell them."

She sniffed tentatively, and then a look of utter delight washed across her face. "They smell almost like coffee!"

His smile was as radiant as a supernova. That was obviously the reaction he was hoping for. "I thought we could grind them down and make an exotic coffee. It won't be the same as the replicator, of course. But it's better than nothing."

"Oh, Chakotay, it's wonderful." She put her hand on his chest, the way she always did when he was within touching distance. "That was such a thoughtful thing to do. Thank you."

He clasped his hand over hers and stared meaningfully at her. That was my cue to get the hell out of there so they could talk.

"Well…" I scooped up the "coffee beans". "I think I'll go see what I can do with these." They nodded at me, but didn't take their eyes off each other. So I made myself scarce.

I didn't catch everything they said. But I did hear bits and pieces as I made a fire and boiled the water. She told him how sorry she was for the hurtful things she'd said, and he apologized too. As they spoke, they moved closer to each other so I figured it was going well.

I tried not to look at them, to give them privacy. But my head snapped up involuntarily when I heard the captain say, "I can't stand the thought that you almost stayed on the ship, and if you had, I would be here now without you. You would've died without knowing how much you mean to me."

He touched her cheek. "I know you care about me. I've always known."

"That's not what I mean." She stopped staring at her hands and looked up at him. "I would've lost you without ever telling you the truth. I love you, Chakotay, and I want to spend the rest of my life telling you."

The Big Guy looked stunned. He just sorta stood there shaking his head in amazement for a few seconds. I was starting to wonder if he needed rescue breathing when he finally spoke. Well, it was more like croaking than speaking. "Gods, Kathryn. I love you, too. I've never loved anyone the way I love you." Not exactly eloquent, but definitely to the point. She was in his arms in a microsecond. And as I watched him kiss her, I felt a longing for B'Elanna that ached to my bones, but I also felt a huge release for the captain, as if her emotions were finally set free. Finally.

That night they slept curled up in each other's arms. Peculiar after watching them tiptoe around each other for seven years, to see them holding each other in sleep.

I heated up some water and made some more "coffee", which tasted pretty good actually. As I sat on my log and watched the sun come up, I saw Chakotay pull her a little closer to him, as if even in his sleep he realized how close they came to loosing each other. And I realized just how alone I was. In fact, I was sitting there thinking about how I was doomed to spend the rest of my life being the third wheel when I heard noises in the trees.

Instinctively, I reached for my phaser. I had no idea what was coming out of that forest, but I was damned sure I was going to get it before it got me. Janeway must've heard it too, because she climbed to her feet beside me.

I vaguely heard the captain say, "What is it, Tom?" And then a figure emerged from the trees.

And I fired.

The world seemed to swirl around me as I heard a familiar voice say, "Hold your fire. It's us." Harry? I'd missed them so much, I was sure I was hearing things!

Then I knew I'd completely lost my mind when I saw B'Elanna standing next to him, a wry grin on her pretty face. "Good thing for us your such a lousy shot, Paris. You nearly took Tuvok's head off."

"Oh my God! I don't believe it." I heard Janeway gasp. "Chakotay, wake up."

I didn't turn around to see his face. I was already in a dead run. In seconds, I had B'Elanna in my arms … and the universe stopped. There were no sounds, no other people. Nothing but her and I and the tears I didn't even realize I was crying until they dripped on her shoulder. I kissed her face, her cranial ridges, and her swollen abdomen. She was a complete mess, uniform torn and dirty, her hair wild and full of twigs from the trees, and I knew I had never seen anything more beautiful in all my life. "God, I don't know how this is possible. But if you're an illusion created by my insane mind, don't tell me. I don't want to know. I just want to hold you and never let you go."

I heard B'Elanna chuckle through her own tears. "I missed you too, Tom."

The captain ran to her old friend, nearly knocking the Vulcan over as she hurled herself into his arms. He folded his arms around her protectively as if it were just a reflexive reaction to her sudden assault. But his, I am pleased to see you again, Captain. told me that he was hugging her right back.

I let go of my wife long enough to clap my hand on Harry's shoulder. "Never thought I'd be so happy to see you, Buster Kincaid."

He grinned back at me. "Well, someone had to rescue Captain Proton from the Queen of the Spider People."

Janeway chuckled and pulled Harry into an affectionate embrace. "I just may have to promote you, Ensign."

Chakotay gave B'Elanna a squeeze. "We saw the ship explode. We thought you were dead. How? How did you survive?"

Seven of Nine stepped up, arching an elegant eyebrow. "You only thought you saw the ship explode, Commander. In actuality, Voyager is intact."

"Well, for the most part, anyway." Added Harry.

They were confusing the hell out of me. "The ship wasn't destroyed? But, we saw it. We saw the flames."

B'Elanna elbowed me playfully in the ribs. I knew she was just being playful because it was only painful, rather than excruciating. "One little boom and you write us off for dead."

"Will someone please tell me what in the hell happened?" Janeway said, looking more and more like the in control captain every minute. "Where is the rest of the crew? And where, exactly, is my ship?"

"Perhaps we should address one question at a time, Captain." Tuvok said flatly. "The aliens launched a surprise attack. They were somehow able to mask their signals until they were within weapons range. We do not know who they are, or why they sought to destroy us. However, it soon became abundantly clear that we were severely outgunned, and they were unwilling to discuss the matter. When sensors determined that the aliens were methane breathers, the logical course of action was clear. I ordered the helmsman to land the ship on this planet, knowing that in the event we survived, the aliens could not follow."

"We saw Voyager enter the atmosphere and start to descend." Prodded Chakotay. "There were two alien vessels in your wake. All three ships dropped out of sight, we saw an explosion, and then the aliens ascended. We assumed the ship had been destroyed and all hands lost."

"There was an explosion, Commander." Said Seven. "But it was not Voyager. It was Ensign Kim's idea to detonate a low yield photon torpedo in our wake, creating an explosion and, we hoped, the illusion that Voyager had been destroyed."

I'm sure the pride must've shown on my face. Harry was far from the green post-cadet he'd been when we met. "Gutsy move, buddy."

He nodded in response, a self-satisfied grin on his face.

"The tricky part was to pull it off without actually blowing us all to bits." Said B'Elanna. "Seven and I made some adjustments to the aft shields. Then we evacuated the rear sections and held on tight."

"We then erected a dampening field to hide us from the alien's sensors." Added Seven.

"Well done, all of you." Janeway beamed. "Once again, this crew has surpassed my wildest expectations. And the condition of the ship?"

"There were several hull breaches as well as considerable damage to the deuterium tanks and the port nacelle." Answered Seven. "The crew are conducting repairs and collecting supplies as we speak."

B'Elanna grinned at Janeway. "We should be able to lift off in about four days, Captain. We have the Delta Flyer waiting on the outer edge of the forest."

"Well then, let's get underway." She took Chakotay's hand in hers, not caring who saw it. "Let's go home."

B'Elanna grinned at Chakotay, knowing how long he had waited for the captain to return his feelings. She said later that the Big Guy looked happier than she'd ever seen him. "If I'd have know that's what it would take to get those two together, I would've blown up the ship a long time ago." She muttered to me.

Tuvok's eyebrow climbed a notch or two, but he said nothing.

We made the journey to the shuttle easily enough, despite my wife's uncoordinated girth. And I can honestly say I've never been so happy to see the inside of the shuttle bay in my life. Or a sonic shower for that matter. Hell, I was even glad to see Neelix coming at me with a bowl of leola root stew. I was just happy to be home.

And the captain? Well, she didn't exactly announce her new relationship with the Commander or anything. But she didn't hide it either. They go almost everywhere together, and though they use some discretion about their public displays of affection, their body language speaks of a couple that are intimately comfortable with each other.

That week of separation changed us all, I think. But it made us better people. The crew no longer spends time speculating on the command teams relationship. I guess they've finally figured out that Captain Janeway is as fragile as the rest of us, and no one would do anything to jeopardize the happiness that she denied herself for so long.

As for me, those days of grieving reminded me that the people and lifestyle you treasure the most can be ripped from you any second, so you have to make the most of it while you can. I've been given another chance to be a husband and a father. And I can't think of anything in the galaxy I want more. Not anything.

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