Stupid Q-Pid (nc-17)

Category: VOY J/R, J/C

Rating: NC-17 for sexual content

Author: LadyChakotay

Disclaimer: Blah, blah blah…Paramount owns all things trek, including Chakotay's tattoo. No infringement intended. I will not make a penny off of this story.

Since Voyager's writers don't let our beloved Captain Janeway have any fun, I am forced to take matters into my own hands. The characters belong to them, the fantasies belong to me.

Summary: Q wants to do something kind for Cwaptain Janeway to repay her for helping end the Continuum civil war. It's no secret that our favorite captain has been without intimate contact for far too long. Q knows that she won't give in to Chakotay or anyone else on the ship because of protocol, so… he leaves Kathryn stranded on a romantic tropical beach with the incredibly charming Commander Riker from the USS Enterprise. This time, there's nowhere to run. Can Kathryn behave herself? (Oh come on, she's only human after all!! Could you behave yourself??!!?!?!) Forgive me, J/Cer's. I have strayed a bit. But rest

assured, I want to see them together as much as you do. This story has the only ending a self-respecting J/C author could write. No spoilers, but some references made to the episode The Q and the Gray and Jeri Taylor's Mosaic.

Feedback: Comments and gentle criticism welcome. Story request and challenges

welcome as well. LadyChakotay@yahoo.com

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"Report!" barked Captain Janeway as she walked onto her bridge. Voyager had been traveling through a painfully dull region of space for the past two weeks. They had seen no interesting anomalies, no other ships, and very few planets. It had been calm, quiet, and dreadfully boring.

"All systems nominal, Captain…" answered Chakotay, greeting Janeway with his usual warm smile. "The same as yesterday, and the day before, and…"

"Point taken, Commander." she laughed. Then she turned to face the officer at ops station. "Anything on long range sensors, Mr. Kim?" she asked hopefully. At this point, she would almost welcome a Kazon ship, or even a Borg cube. Anything to get the adrenaline pumping.

"Nothing at all, Captain." he answered, running his fingers over the console as if to double-check the results.

Did I really expect anything else? she thought to herself. She forced her best I'm-the-Captain-smile, and tried not to let the boredom show on her face.

"Maintain course, Mr. Paris. You have the bridge Commander Chakotay. I'll be in my ready room."

After ordering her customary cup of coffee from the replicator, Kathryn Janeway sat behind her desk and stared at the huge stack of padds with definite disinterest. She was looking at about ten hours of unbearably dull reading. She rubbed her hand across her forehead and cringed inwardly at the realization of an oncoming headache. "Oh, Gods! This is mind numbing." she groaned aloud. As she began skimming the words on the first padd, the door chime sounded. "Come in." she called without looking up. She knew it was Chakotay. He would bring in a few more padds requiring her approval, attempt at some casual banter in an

attempt to lighten her mood, and then invite her to lunch. Even this had become predictable and routine.

Sure enough. "The latest fuel consumption and food stores reports, Captain." He said, handing her two more padds.

"Thank you." She took them with a sigh and added them to the tower that already existed on her desk.

"Are you sure you can see over your desk, Kathryn? That stack of padds is nearly taller than you are. Shall I bring you a thick book to sit on?" he joked, flashing his disarming dimples that she liked to think he saved just for her. Damn, I love that smile! she thought.

"Very funny, Chakotay!" she retorted, returning his smile. "If your stack is any smaller, perhaps I need to reevaluate your work load."

He laughed at her little threat. "Rest assured, Captain. My stack is no smaller than yours. I'm just not as short as you." he smirked.

"Watch it, Mister." She jabbed him playfully in the chest. Chakotay could always make her smile. But even his company wasn't pulling her out of her doldrum today. Right on schedule, Chakotay offered his lunch invitation. "I think you need a change of scenery, Kathryn." She loved it when he used her given name. He was the only one on the ship who did. "What'd ya say you met me for lunch on Holodeck two at … say 1400 hours?"

He was so good at anticipating her needs. She was continually surprised at how well he knew her. He always tried to make sure that she ate, slept, and took a break now and then. He was a perfect compliment for her; he suited her like no one else ever had. That's why she loved him so much. Of course, she could never tell him. But part of her believed he sensed it, hoped he sensed it.

"Sounds great, Chakotay" she answered warmly. "I'll meet you on the holodeck at 1400. I'll replicate the coffee."

"I'll be looking forward to it." He gave her a radiant smile and exited the ready room, leaving her with her thoughts.

It doesn't take much to make that man happy. she thought. Chakotay took great pleasure in the small things; lunch dates, escorting Kathryn to ship's functions, spending off time with her on the holodeck or visiting in her quarters. He took whatever she offered and never pushed for more. She so wished she could give him what she knew he wanted. Give him everything both emotionally and physically. But she knew she couldn't.

Kathryn spent many sleepless nights longing to feel his arms around her, his lips on hers. She knew she had gone too long without physical intimacy. She also knew that she had a lot longer to go still. As much as she wanted to be Chakotay's lover, and she wanted it badly, she knew that it couldn't happen as long as they were on Voyager. Starfleet protocol…she was the Captain after all.

"Ahhhh…" she groaned loudly in frustration, standing to pace around her desk as she always did when she was unsettled. "I've got to stop thinking about him. I need a diversion…some excitement!" she continued aloud.

Her head spun around as she heard a voice behind her. "My dear, sweet Kathy! Haven't you learned anything yet? If you want something, all you have to do is ask."

There, perched arrogantly in her chair with his feet resting on her desk, sat Q. He was grinning like a Cheshire cat and sporting a Starfleet uniform with four brass pips. The epitome of conceit.

"Oh, Q…" she moaned, rubbing her forehead in an attempt to hold back the approaching headache that always accompanied a visit from Q. "What do you want?"

"It's not what I want, Kathy!" he said as he stood and moved toward her. He stopped just inches in front of her face, resting his hands on her shoulders.

"It's what YOU want."

"What I want, Q, is for you to get off my ship!" she snarled, stepping out of his grasp.

"Oh come now, Kathryn! No need to be rude." He scolded. He took her hand in his.

"I'm only here to help you."

She shot him her highly feared, stop-your-heart, I'm-the-Captain death glare and jerked her hand from his. She began to pace in front of him. "Somehow I find it hard to believe that you're here out of the goodness of your heart, Q. Now what do you want?"

He laughed condescendingly at her. "Darling, Kathy. Have you forgotten my fondness for you?" He again took her by the shoulders and pulled her close, despite her attempts at evasive maneuvers. "I just want to make you happy. Do you think I haven't noticed how lonely and, well…frustrated you've been?"

She raised an eyebrow in a quizzical fashion. Thinking perhaps he was there to court her again, she said bluntly, "I've rejected you before. Have you come back for more of the same?"

"Oh, no, no, no! It's not me you need right now Madame Captain! Although… I do believe that you're cheating yourself out of what would quite clearly be the most erotic and fulfilling event in your small existence." He ran his hand up her back suggestively. "Pity… we would be so good together!"

"Your point, Q!" she hissed, struggling against him, but to no avail.

"Oh, Kathy! You need to relax. Have a little fun!" he spat. "The time has come for you to release your sexual tension. A woman as sensual and beautiful as yourself mustn't be limited to a few naughty dreams and fantasies about Chuckles. And I know just the man to take care of you!"

She tried to control the rage he was bringing out in her. "What in the hell would you know about my fantasies, Q!?"

Q's infuriating chuckle was all Kathryn heard before the surroundings of her ready room began to fade and her vision blurred. She felt the anxiety building in the pit of her stomach. "Where are you taking me?"

As her vision began to clear, Janeway turned slowly in a circle, attempting to ascertain her whereabouts. She was standing in the middle of a small room, a bedroom of sorts. But she knew immediately that this was not a house. It was tropical….some sort of bungalow.

One look out the large window confirmed her thoughts that she was somewhere tropical. She was in a bungalow on a beach, a deserted beach as far as she could tell. She could feel the cool breeze through the open window; hear the waves lapping at the shore.

Despite herself, she thought it was beautiful. "Given different circumstances, this could be enjoyable." She muttered aloud.

"Okay. Q…" she sighed. "This is very entertaining. Now return me to my ship!"

She waited for several seconds for him to respond. Nothing but silence. She folded her arms across her chest. "Dammit Q! Show yourself! I know you're here."

Q appeared inches in front of her. "Patience, my dear Kathy. If I didn't know you better, I would think that you are ungrateful for this romantic little getaway!"

"I thought you said this wasn't about you and me, Q! Why are we here, in this setting…. Alone?" she growled in her husky voice.

"Oh, I thought you'd never ask!" he said playfully. He snapped his fingers and a figure appeared instantly in front of them.

"What in the hell…" Will Riker muttered as he looked around in confusion. Then he saw Janeway standing in front of him.

"Commander Riker?" Kathryn asked incredulously, more to herself than to him.

Will smiled in acknowledgment and stepped toward her, his hand extended.

"Captain Janeway!" he said, shaking her hand in a professional manner. Then he caught sight of Q.

"I should've known you'd have something to do with this, Q!" he boomed angrily .

"Now why have you taken me off my ship?"

"Oh calm down, you big oaf!" Q spat, looking at Will distastefully. "I'm sure Jean-Luc will be just fine without you for now."

"I assume you're not here by choice either, Captain?" Will asked, looking to Janeway.

Will's sparkling, deep blue eyes in contrast with his raven black hair momentarily struck Kathryn. She had to admit; the sight of him standing there in his uniform was very pleasing to the eye to say the least. She quickly noted that he wore what must be the new style of uniform - gray and black with a deep red turtleneck…very nice.

She recovered enough to answer his question. "That's right, Commander. A few minutes ago I was standing in my ready room aboard Voyager. And now…"

"Yes, yes, yes. And now you're standing here in this little slice of mortal heaven that I have created for you." Q said indignantly. "And instead of thanking me, what do you do? Whining, mortals are always whining…"

"Okay, Q…" Will said in his deep voice. "I'll bite. Why have you brought us here?"

Q rolled his eyes. "Honestly, Riker. I don't know what that pretty little betazoid sees in you. You are as dim-witted as a primate." He sorted. "So I guess I'll have to spell it out for you."

"Yes, please…" Will snarled. "Enlighten me."

"Well, I know all about your little academy crush on Kathy here. And frankly, our dear Captain needs to relieve her sexual frustration before she has a core meltdown, don't you my darling?" Q drawled, stroking her cheek suggestively.

"Gods, Q!" Kathryn snapped, smacking his hand away from her face. She felt her cheeks flushing as she desperately tried to contain her embarrassment and maintain her command presence. It wasn't working and she knew it.

"Oh, I know you'd rather have your own first officer, Kathy." Q began, pacing around her. He sensed her body tighten in response. "But, since you won't let poor Chuckles do what we all know he wants to do…surely the first officer of the Federation flag ship will be an acceptable alternative. I know you are attracted to him. Though I have no idea why you would choose such a narrow, intellectually challenged being over me…."

Kathryn was livid. She was sure she had never been so angry and embarrassed.

"This is absolutely ridiculous, Q! Now return us to our ships immediately!" she commanded in her best captain voice.

"Nonsense, my sweet. You are here until tomorrow, or at least until you learn to play nice together. So you may as well enjoy! Oh, and don't worry, Kathy. I'll keep Commander Chuckles busy while you're gone." And with that, he disappeared.

"Well…" Will sighed awkwardly.

"Well indeed." Added Kathryn. They stood and stared stupidly at each other for what seemed like eternity. Finally, Will couldn't take the silence anymore.

"I guess we're stuck here. We may as well take advantage of the time to catch up." He moved to the table and pulled out a chair, gesturing for her to sit. He took the chair on the opposite side of the table and smiled affectionately at her. "How have you been, Captain?"

His smile is incredible! She thought to herself. Her breath caught in her throat. "Please, Will. Call me Kathryn." She almost whispered.

"Alright, Kathryn. It's good to see you again, even if it is due to Q."

"I feel the same way." She said softly. "So tell me, how is the Alpha Quadrant?"

Damn, she is even more beautiful than I remembered. he thought, getting momentarily lost in the depths of her blue eyes. "It's pretty much the same as it was when you left it, besides the uniforms, I mean." He chuckled.

They spent the next two hours swapping stories, discussing Starfleet, and sipping wine. Kathryn felt herself relaxing in Will's easy-going company. Maybe this wasn't so bad after all.

Chakotay was waiting on holodeck two for Kathryn to meet him for lunch. He felt like he'd been waiting forever. He glanced at the chronometer, 1423 hours. She was 20 minutes late. It was unlike Kathryn to be late without notifying him. He tapped his combadge to open a channel.

"Chakotay to Janeway." She did not respond. "Computer, locate Captain Janeway."

"Captain Janeway is no longer on the ship." Droned the female voice of the computer.

"WHAT?!?!" Chakotay shouted in surprise. "Where is she?"

"Insufficient information."

He sighed in frustration. "When did the captain leave Voyager?"

"Captain Janeway left Voyager at 1218 hours." Answered the computer.

He felt his heart drop into his stomach. She had been gone for over 2 hours and no one had noticed? How was that possible?

After informing Tuvok of the situation, Chakotay called all senior officers to the briefing room. "I don't understand how the Captain could have gotten off this ship without leaving a trace!" Chakotay said as he paced behind the painfully empty chair that Kathryn normally occupied.

"It is possible that the Captain was abducted by an alien race with technology that is unfamiliar to us." Said Tuvok in his stoic Vulcan voice.

Chakotay felt as if an invisible hand was squeezing his throat. The mere thought of Kathryn in the hands of someone who might harm her made him want to scream out and start breaking furniture. But he was in command now, and he knew he had to stay in control.

Suddenly, Kathryn's empty chair filled with a familiar form. "Relax Chuckles! It's nothing nearly as dramatic as all that, I assure you." Q teased.

"Q!" Chakotay hissed, grabbing him by the front of the Starfleet uniform he always wore for his appearances. "Where is she?" He noticed that the rest of the senior staff had risen to their feet.

"Oh, calm down you Neanderthal!" Q spat, freeing himself from Chakotay's grip.

"I came here on Kathy's behalf to give you a message. But…" he began walking toward the door. "if you can't be civil, perhaps I'll change my mind."

Chakotay cringed inwardly at the conflicting emotions. He was partly relieved that Q was involved because he believed that, despite his annoying attributes, Q would never intentionally harm Kathryn. But he also detested the thought of Q anywhere near her. Ever since Q tried to convince Kathryn to mate with him, Chakotay held a secret fear that he would return for her one day. And here he was….

"Okay, Q…" he snapped. "I apologize. Where is Captain Janeway?"

"All you people need to know is that she is taking a much need vacation. Life on a puny starship can be so uninspiring. Our fearless Captain desperately needs some excitement. And I'm sure she's getting it right now!" Q boasted, flashing Chakotay and arrogant grin.

"What do you mean she's taking a vacation, Q? Is he alright? If you have hurt her in anyway…"

"Oh, don't start with the ridiculous posturing, tattoo boy!" Q interrupted.

"Kathy isn't being forced into anything. In fact, she wanted this. Don't worry, she'll be back tomorrow and you can be her little lap puppy again." And then he disappeared.

Chakotay tried in vain to hide anger and embarrassment from the senior officers.

"Well….I guess we wait. Dismissed." He said with a wave of his hand. They exited quickly, leaving Chakotay to wallow in his miserable thoughts.

Where was Kathryn, and what in the hell was she doing? He knew deep in his heart that it was probably better if he didn't know the details, but that didn't stop him from wondering. "Okay, old man. Now you just have to find a way to keep from going insane until she is back on this ship!" he mumbled to himself.

"Oh Will," Kathryn gasped between fits of laughter "I'd nearly forgotten how funny you can be. Stop…you're killing me."

Will was so taken by her musical laughter and beautiful smile; he nearly forgot where they were. "You know, Kathryn, there was a time back in our academy days when I would've gone to great lengths for an opportunity to be alone with you. Did you know that?" he asked shyly.

"Oh, you're kidding!" she said, hoping he didn't notice the rush of blood flushing her cheeks at the thought.

"No, I'm not kidding." He said with a slight shake of his head and a grin. "And I believe you are blushing."

"I am not!" she lied, folding her arms across her chest like a spoiled child.

"Starfleet Captain's do not blush!"

"Understood, Captain!" he chuckled. "Do you remember that blind date that our friends arranged for us to meet?"

"Of course I do."

"And you ran out on me…" he prodded.

"Well, I wouldn't exactly put it that way, I just… well I…" she stammered.

"You just ran out on me." He finished. "You're the only one."

"The only one to what?" she asked with a raised eyebrow worthy of Tuvok.

"The only woman to walk out on me during a date. I never even got to kiss you."

His words hung in the air between them. He reached across the table and gently placed his hand over hers. He was pleasantly surprised when she did not withdraw.

"Would you have?" came her husky voice, sending chills down Will's back. He had indulged in many fantasies about this woman and her voice since they first met. She raised her eyes up to meet his. He could see the fire burning behind her indigo pools and guessed that perhaps he had been included in a few of her fantasies as well. The look on her face nearly took his breath away.

"Yes, I would've. Would you have let me?" he almost whispered.

Kathryn stood and began pacing the room, an attempt to hide her nervousness.

"Perhaps…" she purred seductively.

Will rose to his feet and stepped up behind her. He was so close; she could feel the heat of his body on her back. He put his hands on her shoulders and turned her around to face him. They stood there, eyes intently locked on each other and barely breathing. Then Will leaned in until his lips were only centimeters from her and whispered, "Care to indulge a guy in a long-lived fantasy, Captain?"

Before she was even aware of her actions, Kathryn pulled her arms up and placed the palms of her hands on Will's broad chest. She felt his arms slip around her waist and pull her tightly to him. At that point, common sense and rational thought packed their bags and headed out the door. All was forgotten except Will's hot breath on her lips. Suddenly, she needed to kiss him more than she needed air in her lungs.

Will took her body language and rapid breathing as the invitation they were, and brought his lips to hers in a slow, sultry kiss. A kiss Kathryn felt all the way to her toes. She moaned softly into his mouth as he pushed his tongue between her teeth and began a gentle exploration. He took his time and reveled in the sweet taste of her mouth as he tenderly caressed her back.

Finally, the need for air forced them apart. They were both breathing rapidly. As the oxygen got to Kathryn's brain, she realized what she had just done. She knew she was dangerously close to forgetting all of the reasons that she shouldn't rip his clothes off and ask him to make love to her all night long. She needed some fresh air.

Will reached to take her into his arms again. She stepped back slightly and said, "Will, we shouldn't be doing this." Even though she wanted to with every fiber of her being.

He nodded sadly. "I know, Kathryn. I'm sorry." He looked like a scolded child.

"I've wanted to do that for so many years, I guess I just forgot myself. I would never want to make you feel…"

"Shhhh…" she cut in, placing a finger over his full lips. "I know. It's okay Will. I just don't want to lose control."

"I understand." He said, taking her hand in his to reassure her.

"What'd ya say we go check out this little paradise?" she said excitedly, always the explorer.

Will smiled at the sparkle in her eyes. "Sounds great. How about a moonlight walk on the beach?" he said, offering her his arm.

The action reminded Kathryn of Chakotay and she felt a twinge of guilt run through her as she took his arm. She tried to push it aside. After all, she rarely had the opportunity to enjoy herself, and who knew if she would ever see Will again. Best to make the most of the time Q had given them, even if she wanted to strangle his omnipotent neck for doing it. She had to admit, it was

nice to be here.

As they stepped out of the bungalow, Will suddenly felt a breeze on his legs and chest. Then he realized that both he and Kathryn were now wearing bathing suits. He laughed aloud and said, "Well, I guess Q has covered all the bases, huh?"

"Indeed." Kathryn replied.

Will couldn't help himself as his eyes wandered over Kathryn's petite frame in the black and green bathing suit and matching sarong she now wore. Well done, Q! he thought to himself as he admired the way suit accentuated her figure. Very nice!

Kathryn giggled nervously at the situation. She could feels Will's eyes on her body even as she failed to control her own. She took in the sight of his bare chest, the dark line of hair traveling down his muscles, along his abdomen, and disappearing into the brilliant blue swimming trunks he wore. She resisted the urge to trace that line with her finger. Focus, Kathryn!

"Well, Captain Janeway…" Will teased, "Since we're now quite seriously out of uniform, I suggest we test the water."

"Might as well." She returned. "It's a warm night. I'm sure a swim would be invigorating. And…since it appears we're going to be here a while, I say we make the most of it. I rarely get off my ship."

Will smiled at her and took her hand to lead her to the water. She knew she shouldn't allow the physical contact, but she enjoyed the feel of his warm hand around hers, so she said nothing and followed him across the sand.

Chakotay sat in his office trying desperately to concentrate on the duty roster in his hand. But no matter how hard he tried to shut them out, thoughts of Kathryn kept creeping back in his mind. He knew in his heart that she was alright. But her also knew in his heart that she wasn't alone, wherever she was. Rationally, he knew that she was an adult and could do what she wanted. He had

no claim on her, and he had seen other women before. But his heart screamed out that she was his soul mate, his other half. And if she were going to be with anyone, it should be him. He had waited for so long. "Damn you, Q!" he cursed out loud.

The door chime startled him out of his one-man pity party. Grateful for the distraction, he called, "Come in."

Chakotay sighed in relief as one of his oldest and dearest friends walked through the door. He found her presence comforting. "Hi B'Elanna. What can I do for you?"

Blunt, as always. "Well, for starters, it's 2000 hours. Your duty shift ended over two hours ago. And… I doubt you've eaten in a while. Wanna grab some dinner?" she offered with a warm smile.

"Sure, but let's go to my quarters. I'm not sure I can deal with Neelix's cooking tonight." He chuckled.

"Does that mean you're buying, Old Man?" she teased.

"Absolutely."

Once inside his quarters, he replicated a vegetarian cuisine and some white wine. They sat casually on the sofa and enjoyed the food in companionable quiet. Chakotay was almost always comfortable with B'Elanna, as she was with him. B'Elanna had noticed Chakotay's behavior since the captain disappeared. He was obviously having a hard time dealing with it, and not just as a protective first officer either. "So…" she said, setting her plate down and looking him straight in the eyes. "Do you wanna talk about it, Chakotay?"

"About what?" he feigned ignorance.

"You know what." She scolded. "About Q and the captain!"

"There is no Q and the captain!" he snapped.

"Woah - Okay! Sorry!" she returned, raising her hands to surrender. "Poor choice of words, but you know what I meant."

"I'm sorry B'Elanna. I know you didn't mean it that way. I'm just edgy tonight."

He said softly, looking away.

"It's okay." She said, gently putting a hand on his shoulder in a gesture that was so much like Kathryn, it made his heart ache.

"Talk to me, Chakotay."

"I'm just worried about the captain. Q is….. unpredictable, to say the least."

"I think we both know it's more than that. I can see right through you."

B'Elanna said. "Come on Old Man. It's just you and me. Spill it, before you self-destruct."

"Ahhhhgh!" he groaned. "You know the deal. I'm aware of the rumors about Kathryn and me that run through this ship. Most of them are completely false." He stood and began to pace, running his fingers through his hair in frustration. "Most of them, but not all of them."

He was obviously having a very difficult time getting the words out, so B'Elanna decided to give him a gentle nudge in the right direction. Okay, maybe it was more like a violent shove. "The rumor that you're in love with her… it's true, isn't it Chakotay?"

"Yes." He answered, so softly that she wasn't completely sure he actually said it.

"You fell in love with her on that planet didn't you?" she prodded.

Chakotay turned to face his friend, unshed tears glistening in his dark brown eyes. "I was in love with her before New Earth. I think I've always been in love with her, from the first moment I stood on her bridge. I've tried to fight it, but I can't."

"Have you told her?" B'Elanna asked.

"Not in so many words. But she knows. I told her in a story, an ancient legend, when we were on New Earth. If we had been there just a few more days, she would've let her shields down and admitted her feelings for me. It was evident in her eyes, but I knew she was afraid."

"And now?" she prodded.

"And now she hides behind protocol and Starfleet. She says it's not in the best interest of the ship or this crew if we get involved. And… she's probably right." Chakotay resigned.

"That's bullshit, Chakotay, and you know it!" she countered. "This crew is at it's best when our commanding officers are happy. This is more than just a starship, it's a community. We can't go home at the end of a mission and have personal lives. Voyager is our home. The rest of us have found a way to balance it. Why can't you?"

"It's not that simple B'Elanna." Chakotay said defensively. "This is different. She is the captain."

"Yes, she is. She's a great captain. She's just not much of a woman." She said.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Chakotay hissed.

"She hides behind her rank so that she doesn't have to appear mortal like the rest of us. As the captain, she is invincible, almost untouchable. But it's a façade." She said, taking him by the arm to make him look at her. "Don't you see, Chakotay? Women need to be held and loved. They need to be told that they are beautiful and desirable. Even Captains. Who does that for her?"

"No one does." He said sadly. "She won't allow it. She pulls away whenever I try to hold her or tell her how beautiful she is to me. I want more than anything to take her in my arms and love her the way she deserves to be loved, but she is uncomfortable." He put his hands on her shoulders. "I don't want to push her B'Elanna."

"But she needs to be pushed, Chakotay! What if we never get back to the Alpha Quadrant? You'll both spend the rest of your lives on this ship, being right next to each other, yet completely alone. Don't you see how sad that is?"

He shook his head softly. She continued, "And if we do get home, she won't remember how to be just Kathryn anymore. She'll be Captain Janeway all the time. Are you willing to let that happen?"

"No, I'm not." he said with determination. "But I can't make her do something she's not ready to do."

"She's more ready than you think." B'Elanna replied.

They were quiet for a few minutes while Chakotay gathered his thoughts. "Where do you think Q took her?" he finally said. "What do you think they're doing right now?"

"Oh, Chakotay…" she sighed, "Don't torture yourself with this. You know how Q loves to aggravate you."

"Yes, he does. But he also has an affinity for Kathryn." He reminded her. "And, she has been alone for a long time…"

"What?!?" she tried to stifle her laughter, without much success. "You actually think that the captain would give in and have sex with Q? Are you nuts?"

Chakotay's face was flushed red as B'Elanna mocked him. "Well, you're the one going on about how women need to be held…" he growled.

"Oh… you've got it BAD Old Man!" she teased. "I'm sure that wherever Captain Janeway is, she's giving Q the death glare that even the Borg fear, and demanding to be returned to her ship. You have nothing to worry about."

"I guess you're right B'Elanna." He said with a smile. "If anyone can handle Q, it's Kathryn Janeway."

After a swim in the warm, tropical water, Will and Kathryn sat side by side next to the fire that had suddenly appeared on the beach. (Obviously contributed by Q)

Will tried not to notice the little droplets of water that ran off Kathryn's long auburn hair and traveled down her sternum. He tried, but he failed. "You know…" he drawled seductively, "You are an extremely attractive woman. I feel pity for your first officer."

He noticed Kathryn tense up at his remark. "Why do you say that?" she asked, trying to sound unaffected.

"Because it must be damn distracting watching you in action on the bridge. I mean, it would be for me." He teased.

"Really?" she returned with a crooked grin and raised eyebrow. "Are you saying that you find a women who out ranks you a turn on, Commander?"

"An incredible turn on, Captain." he returned, reaching over to softly stroke her upper arm with his fingers. She was lying on her back, legs crossed at the ankles, propped up on her elbows. He wanted to jump on her right then and there, and it was difficult to hold back.

"Are you involved with him?" he hazarded.

The question took her by surprise. So did the fact that she wasn't sure how to answer it, she wasn't sure what she wanted the answer to be. "No, why do you ask?" was what finally came out of her mouth.

"Oh… Q's remark about you wanting your own first officer, for starters…" he said. "And your reaction when I mentioned him just now."

"It's complicated." She sighed. "I'm not sure you could understand it. I'm not even sure I do."

"Try me." Will challenged with a charming grin.

Oh, I'd love to try you! She thought to herself. She tried to turn the tables on him. "I also heard Q's comment about your 'pretty little betazoid'. I assume he meant Deanna Troi. Are you two seeing each other again?"

He was on to her evasive maneuvers. "Oh no you don't. You answer me first." He countered.

Kathryn smiled at him quietly for a moment, thinking it over in her mind. "Well, I suppose it would be nice to talk to someone about it. And, since you're not a member of my crew, and you're usually in another quadrant of the galaxy… I guess it would be alright to tell you." She said with a giggle.

"I promise, your secrets are safe with me, Kathryn." He said sincerely. "Go ahead, I'm listening."

Relaxed by his kind smile and undivided attention, she began telling him about the time she had spent with Chakotay on New Earth and what it meant to her. She told him of the times that they had shared and how connected she felt to him. And he listened attentively to her every word.

"I knew when we returned to Voyager that I couldn't allow the relationship to take that path. We're a command team - we have responsibilities." She offered sadly. "I know he's in love with me. And I suspect my crew knows it as well, despite my efforts to sweep it under the proverbial carpet. But… I can't acknowledge it, for obvious reasons."

"And how do you feel about him, Kathryn?" Will gently prodded., "It doesn't matter."

"Yes, I think it does. You need to say it." He pushed again. She looked away and said softly, "I love him, Will. But that doesn't change anything. My first responsibility is to my crew. I have to get them home. I can't afford to be distracted right now."

"It sounds to me like you already are. Ignoring the feeling doesn't make it go away, Kathryn."

"He'll move on eventually…as long as I keep my distance." She said firmly, more to herself than to him, Will thought.

"Is that what you really want?" he asked.

"No." Her reply came so quickly it startled her. "I guess I never realiz:d just how much I don't want that to happen."

"Perhaps you should revise your protocols, Captain. You're being unfair to him, and to yourself, by denying this opportunity at happiness. What if you never get home? Do you want to spend the rest of your life alone just to please Starfleet?"

"No, I don't want that at all." She answered. "Maybe I need to rethink my plan. We are a very long way from the federation."

"Now you're making sense." Will proclaimed. "Give the poor guy a chance."

"Okay, enough about Chakotay!" she declared. "Now it's your turn. Tell me about Deanna."

Will shifted his weight nervously. Kathryn smiled reassuringly at him. "Deanna and I have a complicated history. We are connected in a way that's difficult to explain."

Now it was her turn to push. "Try…" she said, placing her hand gently on his strong arm.

"We're Imzadi. Do you know what that is?"

"That's a betazoid word isn't it? It means beloved, if I remember correctly." She said.

"Yes, it means beloved. But it also has a deeper meaning. Your Imzadi is the first and only person to touch your soul. It means soul mate… life partner. Deanna is my Imzadi."

"That's beautiful, Will." She whispered softly. "But I don't understand. The problem in love is usually finding the right person. If you know that Deanna is your life mate, why…?"

"I know, why aren't we together, right?" he cut in. "I guess it's my fault. I hold back..."

"Why?"

"It such an all-consuming connection." He began, looking deeply into Kathryn's blue eyes. She can speak to me telepathically, and she taught me to do the same with her. It's almost like we've merged into one person. To be honest, it scares the hell out of me. Not to mention that she's my subordinate."

"I can understand that." She comforted, resting her small hand on his bare shoulder.

"Yes, I guess you can." He smiled at her warmly. He thought she was so beautiful with the glow of the fire bringing out the red in her hair. "Is Chakotay your Imzadi?"

She looked away for a few seconds, and then turned to look deep into his azure blue eyes. "I don't know. I definitely think he is my soul mate, that we are connected in that way. But to be Imzadi, don't you have to be…" she looked away.

"Never mind."

"Be what?" he pushed.

"Be together, intimately." She nearly whispered. It took a few seconds for her words to sink in, then a surprised look spread

over Will's handsome face.

"You've never made love to him, have you? You were on that planet alone with him for all that time, and you never slept with him?" His surprise was evident in his voice.

She shook her head softly. "No, if I allowed myself to do that, I'd lose all resolve. I would never be able to resist him. It's a very dangerous temptation, believe me."

"Maybe that's exactly what you need to do." He suggested. "Let yourself go Kathryn."

"Believe me," she said in her husky voice, "I would love to! It's been so long But I can't, not with him."

"Forgive me for prying, but how long has it been, I mean, since you made love to anyone?"

Will watched as a blush spread across her face. "Since the day I left DS9 to start this mission, since I left the Alpha Quadrant." She admitted, not looking at him.

He just stared at her, mouth agape, in utter disbelief.

"Oh, come on, Will! I'm the Captain. It's not like I have a lot of options. I can't touch the men under my command, though some of them I would like to." She defended, giving him a flirtatious wink. "And there have been some close calls with some of the species we've encountered. But a one-night stand with a Delta Quadrant alien is really not my style. I'm not Captain Kirk. It has to mean something, you know?"

They both chuckled at her comment. "I know just what you mean. A quick, meaningless romp with the alien flavor of the week is beneath someone like Kathryn Janeway." He said with obvious respect and affection. "You deserve more."

She was touched by the sincerity in his eyes. If she hadn't wanted him bad enough before, she was seething with desire now! It wouldn't be a commitment with Will. She rationalized to herself. And it wouldn't be a tawdry fling either. Will was special to her and she knew it. She needed to feel the touch of a man again. Q had been right about that, no matter how much she hated to admit

it.

Will had seen the desire in Kathryn's eyes. Before she had a chance to talk herself out of it, he rolled onto his side and brought his hand to her face, stroking her cheek tenderly. Their eyes locked and the passion was unmistakable.

He pulled her toward him and brought his lips to hers in a kiss that was even more charged and electric than the first one they shared. He felt her body go limp in his arms as she responded to his touch.

He ran his hand across her abdomen, along her hip, down her thigh and back up again. She moaned as his fingers lightly brushed the underside of her breast.

"Kathryn…" he whispered breathlessly in her ear, "You don't know how many times I've fantasized about taking you in my arms and…"

"Shhh…" she interrupted in a throaty voice. "Don't tell me, show me!"

Her words lit a fire in him that he could barely contain. He reached up and pulled the straps of her bathing suit down over her shoulders and began to remove it. She gasped as the cool breeze tickled her exposed nipples. In seconds, Will had her bathing suit off and tossed it aside.

He paused over her, taking in the sight of her nude body glistening in the firelight. She blushed at his visual stroking. "God, you are so beautiful!" he groaned.

He brought his lips to her neck and blazed a trail of hot kisses down to her breasts. He gently took one nipple into his mouth and suckled her as his hands began an exploration of her body. She moaned softly in response to his touch. His fingers found their way to the thatch of auburn curls between her legs. He gently parted her legs and stroked the silky skin of her inner thighs. A throaty

moan escaped her lips as his fingers pushed into her center, probing places where no one had been in far too long.

She was wet with desire. Hot and tight. Will groaned in anticipation. He wanted her so badly! He wanted to absorb her, memorize every inch of her, every sound. He slowly kissed his way down her abdomen until his lips found her hips. She arched her body against his mouth as he kissed her everywhere but the one place he knew she wanted it. Sweet torture!

He moved his head down and nipped gently at her inner thighs, causing her breath to catch in her throat. She reached down and entangled her fingers in his raven hair. He quickly snatched her small wrists and pulled her arms up over her head.

"No, Captain!" he said, breathless. "It's my turn. Keep your hands above your head. Don't make me restrain you." He teased.

He began the trail of kisses down her body once again. "Oh Gods, Will!" she groaned as he worked his way over her quivering abdomen. "Please, let me touch you!"

"You're not playing by the rules Kathryn. This is my fantasy, remember?" he scolded. "Now I'll just have to start over."

She tried to smother her screams with her hands over mouth and her body arched against him as he began the achingly slow process of kissing his way down her body again.

When he felt he had her sufficiently writhing in sweet agony, he plunged his fingers into her hot center and brought his tongue to her swollen nub. She was unable to stifle her screams anymore.

He repeatedly took her to ecstasy's door, only to back away and keep her from going over the edge until he was ready for her to. He wanted to watch her face as she climaxed at his touch. "Please…" she whispered.

He pulled his head up to watch her face and replaced his tongue with his thumb. The thrusts of his fingers became rhythmic and purposeful. He felt her inner muscles start to tighten around his fingers. He knew she was close, but she was fighting it.

"Let go for me, Kathryn." He whispered as he plunged his fingers deeper into her. "I want to watch you cum."

His words sent her spiraling over the edge and she shattered around him. He watched worshipfully as she arched her back and dropped her head back, her eyes half closed and the rapture evident on her face. Her body glistened in the light of the fire, and her skin was flushed pink with her desire. Knowing he would probably never have this opportunity again, Will tried to memorize every detail of her. The sight of her responding to his touch was intoxicating, and he knew he would never forget it.

Kathryn attempted to get control of her breathing as the afterglow of her orgasm washed over her. She wanted to touch him, to pleasure him as he had her.

"My turn, Commander." She said in her captain voice. She got up and guided Will to his feet. He had the most sensuous smile on his gorgeous face. She wanted to make him writhe and quiver as he had made her. She planted a bruising kiss on his full lips. He instinctively moved to wrap his arms around her waist and draw her body against him. This time, she seized his wrists, and pulled away.

"No, not yet!" she barked, pushing his arms away. "Your turn is over. Keep your hands to yourself Commander Riker. That is an order!"

He chuckled and suggestively replied, "You're not my Captain, I may decided not to follow your orders."

"But, I am your Captain tonight, Will." She purred seductively. "For just this one night, under these stars, I am yours." She ran her hands down his chest and seized the waistband of his swimming trunks.

"I am a spoiled Captain, and I'm used to getting what I want." She said as she rubbed her breasts against his bare chest, causing his breath to quicken. "And right now, I want to dress down an arrogant, cocky first officer. And you will keep your hands to yourself." She ripped the trunks off of him with one firm yank. "Understood?"

"Yes." He moaned, barley audible, as she ran her fingernail down the length of his throbbing erection.

"I can't hear you, Commander." She said in her husky, throaty voice. She wrapped her hand around his shaft and began stroking him. "How does a Starfleet crewman answer his superior officer?" she demanded harshly.

"Aye, Captain!" he barked appropriately.

"That'll do for now." She said coyly. Then she dropped to her knees in front of him. Every nerve in his body stood at attention in anticipation. She began her torture with flicks of her tongue along the head of his penis, lapping up the moisture that had already accumulated there. Then she worked her way down his large shaft. His breathing became ragged and he struggled to stay in control. Kathryn noticed that his head was back and his eyes were closed.

"Watch me, Commander." She ordered as she took the length of him into her hot mouth.

"Yes, ma'am." He managed to choke out. She continued her oral ministrations, and then brought her hands up to join the party, stroking his balls in rhythm with her tongue.

"I need to touch you, Kathryn. Please…" he gasped, reaching for her hair.

"No!" she hissed, seizing his wrists again. "I said watch!" When he returned his gaze to her, she took his length into her mouth again, more forcefully now and worked her hands and tongue like magic. His knees began to quiver.

Will Riker was suddenly struck with the reality of what was happening. His wildest fantasy was coming to life. He was standing there on a tropical beach, completely nude and bathed in the moon and firelight. And in front of him, on her knees, was the intrepid Captain Kathryn Janeway - one of the most powerful and beautiful women in the federation. And she was giving him the most erotic blowjob of his entire life! "Oh God, Kathryn…" he growled.

Realizing that he couldn't hold back his orgasm any longer, he tried to withdraw from her mouth. Kathryn seized his hips and roughly shoved him deeper into her throat. She was taking his full load.

He called out her name as he exploded in her mouth, and reveled in ecstasy as she hungrily lapped up every last drop. She moved her mouth off him slowly as his shuddering began to subside.

Will pulled her to her feet and held her tightly as his head swam with images of her. Kathryn, barking out orders on her bridge during battle, her bright smile that lit up her eyes, the look on her face when he brought her to orgasm, and the fantasy he had always had of biting off her shiny brass pips before ripping off her uniform and making love to her. He was amazed at how quickly his erection returned. Too many images to separate, his head was spinning. He wanted to take her, to make love to her slowly and tenderly. Without a word being spoken, he wrapped one arm around her back and brought the other under her knees. He lifted the petite woman into his arms and carried her back to the bungalow.

Once inside, he placed her gently on the large bed. A devilish grin spread across his face as he noticed their uniforms draped over a chair in the corner. He scooped hers up and tossed it to her.

She looked from him to the uniform, and then looked up at him with obvious confusion. He flashed her an affectionate smile. "I want you to put it on, Captain, so that I can have to pleasure of taking it off of you.'

She looked at him with a raised eyebrow and a crooked grin. Amusement danced in her blue eyes. "I see. You want to conduct your own debriefing, Commander?" she teased.

"More than anything!"

She slinked past him and into the bathroom. Minutes later she emerged from the bathroom in full uniform, command mask firmly in place. She looked just like the Captain Janeway of his fantasies. "There is something incredibly sexy about a powerful woman who not only out ranks you, but is beautiful as well." He muttered at the sight of her.

"Permission to approach the Captain?" he requested formally, already moving toward her.

"Permission granted." She drawled, displaying a cocky grin. Will took her into his arms and covered her mouth with his in a passionate kiss.

"You have no idea what you do to me, Kathryn Janeway!" he said into her ear.

"I think I may have some idea." She whispered in return, sliding her hand across his erection. He groaned and stepped back slightly to take in the sight of her in the uniform that only she could make look so good. Then he could resist no longer.

"Forgive me, Captain." he pleaded. "This may get me court martialed, but I have wanted to do this to you for years." He kissed his way down her cheek to her neck. She gasped aloud but made no attempt to stop him as he slowly, one by one, bit off all four of her shiny pips. The sound of the gray turtleneck tearing under the strain made her heart beat quicken.

Then Will ceremoniously, worshipfully, began the process of divesting Kathryn from her uniform. A symbolic gesture of reaching the woman under the captain's mask, a point that was not lost on Janeway, and it touched her deeply.He guided her gently to the bed and onto her back. He began a trail of kisses that started at the top of her head and ended at the tip of her toes. She moaned

in delight.

He tenderly parted her thighs with his and slid his body between her legs. She could feel his erection pressing against her entrance. She was moist and ready, and the anticipation was almost unbearable.

He brought his head down and captured one of her nipples in his mouth. He moved his hips suggestively, teasingly against hers as he suckled her.

"Gods, Will… please!" she moaned breathlessly. They locked eyes for an instant, his searching hers for any signs of doubt. When he found nothing in her face but desire, he thrust his erection deeply into her, causing her to scream aloud.

They thrust together, slowly at first, allowing her to adjust to his size. Then their pace quickened.

Will wrapped his arms around her tightly and rolled over, pulling her on top of his body. Kathryn raised herself up to a sitting position, straddling him. She lowered herself onto his hardness, taking him inside her deeper than before, and began to ride him.

He took her hands in his and placed them on her breasts. "I want to watch you touch yourself, Kathryn," he whispered in a raspy voice. Following his lead, she began caressing her own breasts, pinching her nipples between her fingers. Will groaned loudly and held her by her hips, pushing her down harder and faster onto him. Their pace became hard and fast until they lost control, tumbling over the edge into a screaming orgasm, she just seconds before him.

She collapsed on top of him and they panted, trying to catch their breath. She rolled off of him and lay down on the bed, resting her head on the pillow. She was exhausted, physically and emotionally.

"Let me hold you, Kathryn." He whispered as he drew her into his arms and pulled her tightly to him, her back against his chest and his arm possessively around her waist. He kissed her lovingly on the temple. She gave him a soft, satisfied

smile in return.

"You are an amazing woman, Captain Janeway." Will said sincerely. "Incase Q sends us back before we wake up, I want you to know how much this night means to me. It is a rare thing when the reality surpasses the fantasy. You have given me much tonight, Kathryn."

Her eyes shown with unshed tears. "It has meant more to me than I can ever explain, Will. I will never forget it. Deanna Troi is a lucky woman." She said sweetly, almost sadly.

"You are a beautiful, complex, sensual woman. You deserve to be happy." He declared. "Promise me you'll give Chakotay a chance to hold you like this, to take care of you. Let him make you happy, promise me."

"I promise I'll try, Will." She slurred in a thick, groggy voice. In minutes they were sound asleep in each other's arms.

Kathryn Janeway woke slowly to the warm sunlight and the sensation of tiny kisses being spread across her cheek. She smiled sleepily and, without opening her eyes, rolled toward the man in bed next to her, curling up against him.

"Mmmmmm… Good morning, handsome." She muttered in a hoarse voice.

"Good morning, my wild, naughty Kathy." Came the response.

Kathryn jumped up immediately and drew the blanket tightly around her nude body.

"Q!" she hissed vehemently. "Get away from me!"

He watched her with an amused smile on his face. "A simple thank you would suffice. Honestly, you humans are the most ungrateful little beings…"

"Where's Will?" she demanded before she could stop herself.

"Rest assured, Kathy. The big oaf is back on his ship with Jean Luc to resume his pitiful, insignificant existence." Q snorted disgustedly.

Kathryn tried to hide her disappointment. She had hoped for a chance to say goodbye. "Will he remember?" she asked quietly.

"Of course he will." He answered without hesitation. "It looks like you had quite a night in this little paradise once you stopped fighting it. Honestly, Kathy, I don't understand why you make things so hard on yourself. Always arguing!" he chided.

"I'm not in the mood for this, Q!" she snapped. "Now get out of here and so I can get dressed. Then you will return me to my ship."

"Oh please…" he said impatiently, "don't be so dramatic. Like you have anything I've never seen before. You certainly weren't shy last night." She shot him an angry, threatening glare. "Oh, alright!" he surrendered. With a snap of his fingers, Kathryn was once again in her comforting uniform… boots, ponytail, and all.

She moved away from him. "Now what? What other little games are we going to play, Q?" she snarled hatefully.

"Come on, Madame Captain. Why can't you just admit that you had a wonderful time last night and it was long overdue? Why must you be so stubborn?"

"Alright, I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy last night." Her tone softened. "But you can't keep popping up and altering the events in my life, Q. Can you understand that?"

"Well…" he said reluctantly. "I suppose. But you were so kind to me. When I was injured in the continuum civil war, you cared for me, tended to my wounds. Saved my very existence even. I just wanted to give something back - something to make

you happy."

She hated to admit it, but she was touched by his kind words. "I don't know what to say, Q." she sighed, resting her hands on her hips.

"Just say thank you, Kathy."

She smiled at him with what could almost be considered affection. "Thank you." She whispered.

Chakotay was sitting in the command chair on the bridge, Kathryn's chair, trying to give his crew the impression that he was calm and collected. But his thoughts were of nothing but Kathryn, and he wouldn't be able to relax until she returned to the ship. Until she told him everything that had happened.

He was trying to figure out how he would approach the subject with her, when there was a bright flash of light on the bridge. Suddenly, Chakotay realized that Kathryn had appeared, and she was sitting on his lap!

"Kathryn!" he gasped in surprise, his arms encircling her protectively. She allowed it for a few seconds, knowing it was mostly a reflex, and tried to ignore his slip of using her given name on the bridge. That was the least of her problems at this point.

She patted Chakotay reassuringly on the shoulder and then pulled herself out of his arms and to her feet, but not before the entire bridge crew took in the sight.

"Very funny, Q!" she snapped, knowing he heard her even though he was nowhere to be seen. Her head whipped around in time to catch the college boy grin on Paris's face.

"Nice of you to drop in, Captain." Tom teased as only he could.

"Enjoy it, Mr. Paris." She snapped. "You'll need something amusing to think about while you're scrubbing the hull with your toothbrush!" She attempted to give him her "Don't mess with me, I am the Captain" death glare, but the playful twinkle in her eyes betrayed her, and a small smirk crept across her face.

"Yes, Ma'am!" he barked in a mock salute, and then he turned back to his station, unable to wipe the grin from his face.

"Are you well, Captain?" asked Tuvok. Janeway thought he almost sounded concerned, for a Vulcan.

"I'm fine, Tuvok." She said, perhaps a little too happily. "Thank you."

He simply nodded in acknowledgement and returned to his duties. Kathryn used all of her self-restraint not to laugh at the scene on her bridge. Harry Kim stood at his station, mouth agape, and eyes the size of teacup saucers. "Um… Good to see you, Captain. Welcome back." He stammered.

"Thank you Mr. Kim. It's good to see you too."

"Uh…Captain…?" came Tom's voice again.

"What is it, Mr. Paris?"

"Forgive me, but have you been demoted? You seem to be missing some pips." He said, motioning to her collar.

Her hand rose to the empty spot her pips normally occupied. She smiled despite herself, as the memory of Will biting them off her collar flashed through her mind.

"Thank you, Tom. I would hate to be inappropriately dressed." She said with a crooked grin, as she tried to ignore Chakotay's questioning stare. She knew she needed to get off the bridge and collect herself.

"Well, I'm sure I have a lot of work to catch up on, seeing as how I am now a day behind. I'll be in my ready room. You have the bridge, Commander."

"Aye, Captain." came Chakotay's defeated voice. He knew better than to push the subject. She would call for him when she was ready.

Captain Janeway paced nervously in her ready room. She had replicated new pips, and was on her fourth cup of coffee. But she still had no idea how to handle Chakotay.

After another hour of silent debate, Kathryn decided that Chakotay deserved to know the truth. The right thing to do was lay all her cards on the table; tell him the truth about Will and how it helped her understand her feelings for him. She had to make her desire to pursue a relationship with him clear, then back off and let him make his choices. He was always honest with her, though painful

it often was. She owed him no less.

She tried to reassure herself that he would forgive her. He was always a passionate, but fair man. He had known that she needed some time to collect her thoughts, and no matter how much he must've wanted to, he'd made no effort to contact her. He was letting her come to him, putting her needs ahead of his own as he always did. And she loved him all the more for it.

She took a deep breath and tried to steel herself for what she had to do. No time like the present, Kathryn. She thought to herself as she tapped her combadge. "Commander Chakotay, could I please see you in my ready room as soon as you're free?" she said, trying to sound nonchalant.

"Acknowledged." Was his reply.

Out on the bridge, Chakotay tried to concentrate on the padd in his hands. He was stalling. He didn't want the bridge crew to see him rushing into her ready room like a jealous teenager. Then his combadge chirped.

"That means now, Commander." Came Janeway's tart voice.

He was on his feet in an instant. He shot a quick, "You have the bridge, Tuvok." over his shoulder before entering her ready room.

Kathryn was sitting on her sofa by the view port, sipping her beloved coffee when he entered. He noted that if she were intending to discuss ship's business, she would be sitting at her desk. "You wanted to see me, Captain?" he said, playing it safe. Better to let her take it to a personal level.

She nodded at him over the rim of her coffee mug. "Mmmm hmm… please, Chakotay.

Have a seat." She gestured to the spot next to her on the sofa. "Would you like some coffee or tea?"

"Coffee would be great, thank you." He took the seat she offered. They were seated side by side, about two feet apart. Close, but not inappropriate.Chakotay noticed her hands were trembling slightly when she passed him his coffee cup. She was obviously nervous. He decided to get the ball rolling for her.

"What's on your mind, Kathryn?" he asked softly, looking deeply into her blue eyes. He saw that, despite her nervousness, there was a gleam in her eyes that hadn't been there before.

"We need to talk Chakotay." She began shakily. "I have so much to tell you, I'm not even sure where to start."

"Try the beginning. I'm not going anywhere." He soothed, giving her a warm grin. She placed her hand on his chest in the way that only she could, and said softly, "You're not going to like most of this, Chakotay." That's not what he wanted to hear. "But promise me you'll hear me out before you make any decisions, okay?"

He covered her hand with his, holding it against his chest. "I promise. No matter what's happened, I'll always be here for you, Kathryn."

She gently pulled her hand away from his and stood to pace the room. She took a deep breath and began. "I've been in here all morning debating whether to tell you any or all of what happened last night. I've finally decided that you deserve to hear the truth and make your own decisions. I care too much for you to be less than honest with you."

"I appreciate that." He said.

She gave him a small, nervous smile and then continued. "I was pacing in this room yesterday, much like I am now, when Q appeared. He went on about me needing to relieve some tension, which was not entirely untrue." She paused to check

Chakotay's reaction, but he listened quietly, attentively. So she continued.

"The next thing I knew, I was standing in a bungalow on some tropical beach, with…" she paused nervously, "with… Will Riker."

She watched as the realization spread across Chakotay's handsome face. He had a pretty good idea what was coming next, but he kept his emotions in check, as was his nature.

"Commander Riker…from the Enterprise?"

"Yes, Commander Riker." She confirmed. "He was just as surprised as I was, I assure you. Anyway, Q informed us that we would be left there at least over night. We both objected and demanded to be returned to our ships. Futile maneuvers, of course. Then he said he would keep you entertained until I returned, and he was gone."

Chakotay said nothing, just nodded his head in understanding. She swallowed hard and turned away from his deep brown eyes, forcing herself to continue.

"At first, we just sat and talked. I asked him about the Alpha Quadrant, and he filled me in on the scuttlebutt about Starfleet. Then I started to relax…"

She was having a hard time getting this out, so she decided to just be direct.

"Oh, shit… I'll just say it." She turned to look him straight in the eyes.

"Chakotay, it was an incredibly romantic setting. We were all alone. There were stars and wine, and we sat by a fire. Will Riker is an attractive man, and I have been alone for over three years. He didn't push me. I have no one to blame but myself, not even Q. I wanted to make love to him, so I did." There it was; she dropped the bomb.

Chakotay immediately dropped his head into his hands and ran his fingers through his short-cropped hair in frustration. She wanted to go to him, to hold him. But she knew it would only aggravate the situation. "I see." He finally choked out.

"Oh, Chakotay, you don't see. You don't understand." She moved to sit near him again. "I realized just how much I've been denying myself, denying both of us. It had been so long since someone touched me, or held me while I slept."

He looked at her longingly. "Kathryn, I have been right here, wanting to hold you and love you, but you push me away!"

"I was so afraid to let you fill that void in my life. Because of the ship, and the crew… but while I was on that beach, and away from it for a while, it occurred to me. It all seemed so ridiculous. Starfleet protocols written by a federation that is 65,000 light years away. By people who have never even been where we are. As determined as I am to get my crew home, I must face the fact

that we may never see Earth again. And that we are already home, here, on Voyager."

"I'm afraid I still don't understand." Chakotay said evenly.Kathryn moved off the sofa to kneel on the floor in front of him, taking his hands in hers. She looked intently into his eyes. "Those protocols were written for people who get to return home at the end of a mission and have families.

They were not intended for us out here in the Delta Quadrant." She fought to keep the tears from spilling down her cheeks.

"Don't you see? I am in love with you, Chakotay. I have been since almost the very beginning. I was just too busy trying to be the captain to admit it." She smiled warmly at him through her tears.

He stared at her, mouth slightly agape, tears flooding his obsidian eyes. He couldn't find the breath to speak the words that were in his heart. He took her face into his hands and kissed her tenderly on the forehead.

"I love you too, Kathryn. More than anything. I have loved you all along. But you need to know, if we do this, we do it all the way. I'll keep our personal relationship separate from our professional one, Kathryn. But I won't hide it and I won't sneak around. If we're going to try and make this work, we're going to do it in the open. That means the crew will have to know." He said firmly.

"I won't pretend I don't love you anymore, Chakotay. I won't lie to myself anymore." She reached up and softly stroked his cheek. "I love you. I want you in my life, in my heart, and in my bed. And I don't care who knows it."

Her words touched him deeply. He pulled her up onto his lap and wrapped her tightly in his embrace. He brought his lips to hers and kissed her with a hunger that had grown inside him for three years. "I love you, Kathryn."

"And I love you." She returned, stroking his hair with her slender fingers. They held and caressed each other as they had wanted to for so long.

Eventually, they pulled apart and rose to their feet. "Kathryn…" he gasped, still trying to control his breathing, "I was wondering…"

"What, love?"

"What the hell happened to your pips?"

Kathryn couldn't suppress her laughter. After taking a few seconds to find the right words, she simply said, "One of the nice things about being Captain… is that you can keep some things to yourself."

Meanwhile, in another quadrant 65,000 light years away…

"Troi to Riker." Came the familiar voice over his combadge. It snapped Will Riker back into reality.

"Go ahead, Deanna."

"You're late. We had a dinner date 15 minutes ago. Is everything okay Will?" she asked sweetly.

He smiled at the sound of her voice. He was more in love with her now than ever before. "Everything's fine, Imzadi." He answered, knowing she loved to be called that. "I'm on my way right now. Riker out."

He paused at his door before exiting, deep in thought. He wasn't sure if he dreamed the night he spent with Kathryn Janeway or not. It seemed so real… but, it couldn't have been…could it? "Naahh." He said aloud, shaking his head and grinning to himself.

Then, as he moved toward the door, he heard a jingling sound coming from his pocket. Confused, he reached in and pulled out the contents, and then laughed out loud.

In his hand, he held four shiny gold pips, still bearing the remnants of the gray fabric they were once attached to. "That was no dream!" he said aloud.

"Thank you, Q." Then he put them back snugly in his pocket and headed out the door.

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