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From Land Over Baptist
To avoid offending anyone, all use of the word "Japs" has been changed--even
though the article's written in jest, using the term "Japs" doesn't make
me happy.
| Only an unsaved idiot would believe the [Japanese] forgot
about Hiroshima and Nagasaki. As Godly Baptist Christians, we recognize
that the [Japanese] have been planning to invade America since the day
we humiliated them and sent them into the history books as a race of short-sighted,
nin-com-poop's. Even though the [Japanese] run around with their eyes half
shut, it doesn't mean they can't think straight! With the help of Satan,
[Japanese] have secretly declared war on America by using the Pokémon
menace to brainwash our youth into accepting their fat murdering Buddha
as God.
As Baptists, we have absolutely no doubt that the [Japanese] are in league with Satan. They see the world in a horizontal slant. This is due to the physical characteristics of their eyes. Sources confirm that the Japanese (and all Mongoloids living in America) have per capita, the worst driving records in the history of the automotive industry. They can make cars, but God forbid someone put them behind the wheel of one! Their insanity becomes even more obvious to those of us who observe them as they pray to the little fat man who sits outside their restaurants. Christian experts tell us that children who see the new Pokémon film are almost immediately changed, both physically and emotionally. The minute they leave the theater they become pocket 'problem' children for parents who are too stupid to realize it is Satan himself working through their child. The brainwashed children skip and prance about, singing songs about pocket demons and love songs to Lucifer. They ignore their parents commands to 'SHUT THE LIVING HELL UP!.' There have been reports of children actually going through physical changes after seeing the Pocket Demon movie more than once. One parent (Mrs. Macel Thornhill of Landover Baptist) noted that her child's eyes seemed 'smaller' and 'slanted upward.' "My little Henry's head was sloped in such a way that he looked like a little perverted Christmas elf without the hat." Mrs. Thornhill said. "My husband noticed it too. He said little Henry looked like a [Japanese pansy]." Landover Baptist Church will not sit still and watch the Japanese turn America's youth into Japanese youth! We will not allow the [Japanese] to continue this 'sneak attack' on our families! They are turning our kids into a race of Mongrels! Junior Satanists, prepared to wage war against their loving parents! The Pokémon film has been banned altogether in Iowa. "It might be too late for some of our children," Pastor Smith remarked, "thousands of youths are turning Japanese even as I relate this Godly warning! These pocket demons are attacking parents, jumping on children's legs and performing sexual acts, they are the work of the Devil's [Japanese] Demons!" Landover Baptist is currently lobbying congress to make Pokémon illegal in all 50 states. Landover Baptist Pastor, Deacon Fred remarks, "There are going to be a lot of little sissy babies crying for their Demonic fix, but they'll get over it." If we don't ban these things soon, the next step will be an armed invasion. They didn't learn their lesson the first time around, maybe the only thing they understand is 200 Megatons of Plutonium dropped on one of their major cities. These are our children we are talking about! If we close our eyes to this, we will all be Japanese by year's end! Mark my word!" |
Pocket Monsters was not created by me. It was created by Satoshi Tajiri and the crew at TV-Tokyo. Pokemon is (c) Game Freak, Nintendo, 4Kids Productions, Hasbro, Bandai, and a ton of other companies. When you have a popular anime like Pokemon, lots of people own it so it's impossible to list every company who owns a piece of Pokemon. No infringement of copyrights is meant by the creation of the web site. All images were gotten from official websites (Nintendo, TV-Tokyo, etc.) unless otherwise noted (I don't steal images from other sites!).