When we last left our heroes, they were about to kill BROCOLLI THE EVIL ONE, QUEEN OF THE TROUBLED TEENS (who had been Frolicking with Sheep) LILAC LEOPARD, SCUTTER BOB ,FLUFFY THE EVIL ONE and LITTLE MISS CLARA (the gorgeous one). But due to GALDERHAT'S total stupidity in untying QUEEN OF THE TROUBLED TEENS, they all escaped, while GALDERHAT nursed a vicious cut that the aforementioned Queen has bestowed upon him. Well, not so much nursed as cried like a baby. The arse. Now we catch up with the EVIL BASTARDS, now with 6 members, as the newly recruited JAY OLE and SILENT ROBB PHD discuss their Cunning Plan in catching the ziners.

JAY OLE: Snoochie poochies!

GALDERHAT: Don't mind if I do. (GALDERHAT takes the deceased SAVAGE CABBAGE'S knob from his mouth, now limp from over sucking. And slightly burned.) Hee hee, cool.

CAGED LIBERTY: How in the name of Jesus did you let them get away, Galderhat, you complete fucking twat?

JAY OLE: The stupid motherfucker went down in some shit, man. He untied that Queen chick so he could get his dick sucked, but she fucking kneed him one, right in the balls, man! So she untied them all and they fucked off! Crazy shit! Hey, Silent Robb here had a whole fucking theory on how to catch them back, with more of the fuckers! (motions to SILENT ROBB)

SILENT ROBB:

CAGED LIBERTY: Wow! That is brilliant! That'll definately work! So, fill me in a bit more. What kinda trap do we use?

SILENT ROBB:

GALDERHAT: See? I told you, the man's a genius.

JAY OLE: Fuck, yeah, let's do this shit! (everyone hi-fives)

Cut to Davord and the Dismembered Townie, where FLUFFY, BROCOLLI, LMC, QUEEN OF THE TROUBLED TEENS, LILAC LEOPARD AND SKUTTER BOB are drinking massive pints of lager. Well, pints. Cos you can't have massive pints cos a pint is an imperial measurement, set to one standard. Duh. Anyway, they are telling SATAN'S RUBBER DUCK and SUGARED VENOM about the EVIL BASTARDS plan.

SRD: Oh my god! That weirdo Galderhat will stop at nothing! We must somehow foil their evil scheme!

LMC: Look, SRD, in my knowledge, you can't even foil turkeys, let alone evil schemes.

SRD: Yarg. Piss off. Yarg, hee hee, I thought of that word all by myself...

BROCOLLI: Um, doesn't Galderhat use that word, Duckie?

SRD: Um, he stole it. Anyway, I WILL foil this plan as surely as my name is Karl Kavanagh!

BROCOLLI: Um, SRD, that's Galderhat's name.

SRD: Fuck off, Brocolli. Just fuck off.

Cut back to the basement from whence the 'Ziners came, where the EVIL BASTARDS are busy preparing for the Plan. The carcasses of DARK GREY WOLF, SELF OBSESSION HONEY, EAU ROUGE, JACOBEAN SKATE PUNK amd PLUGHOLE FANTASY litter the floor. See, they did kill them after all.

CAGED LIBERTY: Galderhat! Stop eating that!

(GALDERHAT looks up, his face smeared in blood. He puts down the piece of JACOBEAN SKATE PUNK'S rib and ambles over to CAGED LIBERTY)

GALDERHAT: Oh, all right. You bitch, you always ruin my fun. What's a little cannibalism between friends anyway?

CAGED LIBERTY: About another 90 years in prison, I think. Anyway, Jay, have you got the map?

JAY OLE: Sure as fuck do. Man, this is some rude shit! Look at all those lines, man!

GALDERHAT: (tokes on Snoochie Poochie) Woooaaah, fuck yeah! They're like...pulsating. Like veins.

CAGED LIBERTY: Shut the fuck up. Fool.

SILENT ROBB:

(everyone laughs)

GALDERHAT: Man, you crack me up. Anyway, Caged Total Bitch, shall we get on with our plan?

CAGED LIBERTY: Yes. Well, here is the map. As you can see, I have coloured grass green and sky blue. Those little houses all have chimneys, like so. (scribbles a chimney in) The 'Ziners are here. Using Silent Robb's many instruments, we will catch the little bastards, and...oh, what was it again?

SILENT ROBB:

CAGED LIBERTY: Oh yeah! Forgot. Anyway, shall we off?

GALDERHAT: Huzzah!

Cuts back to D&TDT. The 'Ziners are still completely confused and afraid. They are also very drunk. KILTED ENGLISHMAN comes in, accompanied by the SNORKMISTRESS. SATAN'S RUBBER DUCK has panicked and shit his pants. Knob. LITTLE MISS CLARA,BROCOLLI, LILAC LEOPARD ,QUEEN OF THE TROUBLED TEENS and SUGARED VENOM are engaging in a drunken lesbian orgy, watched by SCUTTER BOB and FLUFFY.

FLUFFY: Wasn't it a great idea that I suggested the girls put on a bit of a floorshow to calm our nerves?

SCUTTER BOB: (holding his trousers) Ooohhh yeah. Did you bring the camera?

KILTED ENGLISHMAN: (out of breath) Hello, I came as soon as you asked me. Here's the camera.

FLUFFY: Danke, matey, danke...(KILTY gasps in reply) Oh, Broccy baby, spice it up, that's it...

(they all start gasping)

SNORKMISTRESS: Hello boys! Been runni....(catches sight of the orgy) You guys are sick! You're filming that with the lens cap on! Here...(fumbles with the camera) Now, there you go...

(all watch the orgy)

(Suddenly, SUGARED VENOM gives a high pitched scream)

SCUTTER BOB: Oooohhh yeah, baby...

SUGARED VEMON: No, you twat! I've just realised I'm sober! What am I doing?!?!

SCUTTER BOB: Little Miss Clara, by the looks of things.

(All the girls snap out of their lesbian trance)

LITTLE MISS CLARA: Urgh! They're filming us! Look!

(All the girls angrily look at SCUTTER,KILTY and FLUFFY)

BROCOLLI: Gimme that! (snatches the camcorder out off SNORKMISTRESS)

Let's destroy this...Follow me girls...

(Exit Girls)

FLUFFY: Dammit! That co-hey, what's that sound?

(From the back room, girly laughter comes. LILAC is heard saying, "Look at your arse, Broc!" Silence follows, then groaning is heard.)

SCUTTER: Ok then...

FLUFFY: Right, back to the matter in hand. The Evil Bastards.

SRD: *pppppffftttttttt!* Um, sorry. I shat myself.

FLUFFY: Urgh. Right, then. So, what, erm, what are we going to do?

KILTY: The way I see it we have 3 options.

FLUFFY: Yes?

KILTY: Option 1: We stay here, get pissed and feel nothing when they start to disembowel us.

FLUFFY: Hmm...

KILTY: Option 2: We eat a lot of hamsters so they don't want to kill us anymore, on account of the fluffy things lodged in our throats...

SNORKMISTRESS: Sounds...um, option 3?

KILTY: Option 3 is where we really push the boat out. We leave here, go on the run and hide in an obvious place where they'll probably find us!

SNORKMISTRESS: Um, I'd go for option 2 myself.

SCUTTER: No! There must be another way! How about...and here's a long shot...How bout we take the Evil Bastards on, head to head?

SRD: Nooo, I don't like that idea. They're mean, mean, mean. (cowers)

SCUTTER: What, are you afraid of Galderhat?

SRD: No way! Why would I be afraid of strong, intelligent, could-easily-outwit-me Galderhat?!? I'm not afraid! I'm not! (bursts into tears) Oooh, hold me!!!

FLUFFY: (untangling himself from SRD) Um, right. I agree with Scutter. I know they hang out in Manky Basement HQ. Round up the girls and let's go!

SCUTTER: Or, first of all, we could just watch them. For morale purposes.

FLUFFY: It's what they'd want. (pushes the door ajar)

ALL: Ooohhhh....