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Blind Dates"a/s/l?" she sent to me randomly one evening. Another girl who believes in online dating, wonderful. Perhaps I'll give her a show. I gave her my information. "Hey! I'm from there too!" she spewed back. We went on chatting for a good three more hours, and continued our chats for the next several weeks. "Y'know," said she "we live in the same city and we haven't ever met each other before." By this time I had started to like her, she seemed like a very nice young woman. My biggest thing I looked for in a woman was intelligence coupled with lovingness, and she seemed to have both. Finally, a girl that will treat me alright and can actually talk to me about things that are interesting rather than the latest fad of beanie babies, pop rock, or panties that say 'You got this far, lucky you.' We had agreed to meet in a blind date situation at the movies, if she turned out alright, I might believe in this whole internet dating thing as well. I made myself look decent, put on somewhat handsome clothes, applied cologne, and shaved my unfashionable beard away. She deserved the best looking Buf that I had to offer, after all, she did strike my attention enough to get me to actually meet her. Two o'clock, I walked smoothly into the movie theatre waiting tables where I saw her. She was...amazing, unique, breath-taking...and by far the ugliest creature I had ever seen before in my entire life. Hideous is the word that described her best. She wasn't fat, mole-faced, or anything a typical freak of nature would be. The chick from AOL was the skinniest thing I had ever seen. She looked to be almost 6 years old, veins viewable at every major artery, hunch-backed, no body-fat at all, and with height not in her favor. After making her way to me in the most monkey-like fashion I had ever seen before, she blurted out a somewhat surprising "Hi! Are you Buford?" Here's where I made my mistake: "Yeah...” I mumbled as I struggled not to vomit. I then paid for the tickets and we sat down. I didn't speak for fear of disgorging my lunch all over the place, and she did most of the talking. Her words were of complete idiocy unlike her instant messages. One mark down, she wasn't intelligent in the least, and the whole-ugliest- creature-alive thing didn't help out a single bit. It looked to me like I had to get rid of her. She seemed like a fairly innocent girl and probably possessed that 'loving' quality I had sensed about her, I had better let her down easy. I had always told myself that looks didn't matter, my god, they certainly did in this case. She asked me what was the matter, and I told her that I was sick. Thankfully, I arrived home without her in my presence and I stared at previous girlfriend's pictures and porn to rid my head of that engraved vision of nastiness. Later that night, I received another IM stating that she had a great time and that she had fallen in love with me these past few weeks. After cleaning up my coke I had spilled all over the place from that statement, I desperately tried to tell her how I truly felt, that I didn't want to have anything to do with her unless it was strictly in an instant message. Of course, with my luck she was persistent and practically forced me to feel like a fairly large amount of shit by telling her no. A week of IMs from her sent my head spinning; I wanted to run away. Until one day she informed me that she was having a party with a few of her friends. Perfect! I would go to this party, tell her that I didn't like her at all, and then she'd have her friends there to support her after I left. In their eyes, I'd be the bad guy, but in my eyes, at least she wouldn't do anything crazy if I told her that I thought she looked like a baby monkey because her friends would be there to help her out. I got off work and went directly to her house to tell her that there was never, and never will be anything between us, but when I got there, everyone was drunk, and not to mention the Chick from AOL had a very hot friend whom I'd love to get to know. After some weed and several shots, I ventured into the backroom searching for the bathroom when things suddenly got very out of control. The Chick from AOL pulled me into her room, her skinny disease infecting my skin. I screamed like a school girl until I realized just what it was she was doing. My cock flew out of my pants and she engulfed it whole. I glanced down in shock and thought to myself "Well heyyyy, she is quite a girl, perhaps if I don't tell my friends..." She gobbled my bobbler again and again until I couldn't take it anymore. I threw her on the bed and she ripped off all her clothing. She wrapped her legs around me and I had the best drunken high sex I had ever had. I drove home under the influence and woke up thinking 'SHIT! What have I done?!' I was definitely a dick this time. Why would I even think of doing that? I had sex with a girl I practically hated when she loved me. Guilt overwhelmed me as I thought of what to do. Well, I had already screwed things up, I had to make her think that I was interested so she doesn't feel like I just used her for sex and brand me as a jerk to everyone in the city. My hell lasted for nearly a month before I gathered both of my balls and told her that I didn't love her at all. To my horror, she went completely nuts, threatening to kill herself all the time unless I talked with her, stalking me, watching me as I sleep, and sending people over to violently hurt me even years later. Strike number two, not loving, instead, she was a psycho-whore. There is an important lesson in all of this, learn how to tell people 'NO!' Being nice to people can lead your life into serious problems that can harm you and your future. |