|
ASS!!!!I'd like to begin by saying that this is a description of a female arse. No where in this essay shall a male body part be grossly discussed. Starting off with the issue of size, the waist of the speci-woman should be significantly smaller than the hips. Curves, my friend, make the woman a woman. The waist should accompany the ass in a 2 to 3 ratio roughly, a little more or less is acceptable only under the correct conditions, such as when alcohol is involved. The actual cheeks themselves should be large enough so that your hand cannot fit all the around the 'front' of the wondrous slabs of fatty fun. There must be plenty of room to roll the cheeks around without stretching things too much from their original gravity-based position. When a man sits down and lets a woman sit in-between his legs, her "behind" must fit snugly into the provided area without the male feeling like he's in the spread eagle position or like he's humping a stick. The size isn't everything, shape is also extremely important. The 'butt' should not be excessively noticeable as the farthest hind side margin, although it should be competing for the position. The shape may range from the acclaimed 'basketball' butt to the slightly elliptical yet semicircular ass. If the ass seems more like a spoon has molded it then you know to get the hell out of there as quickly as possible. The ass cheeks should hang firmly side by side as if they were best friends, the kind of friends who aren't EXTREMELY close, but yet they like to hold hands and walk shoulder to shoulder. Hmm, tender fine ass.... Next is texture. A woman’s ass must be smooth, extremely smooth, greater than or equal to the smoothness of her breasts. There should be NO hair at all, that's just fucked up. Moles are not acceptable, however, birthmarks are welcomed. It's always enjoyable to trace the path of a birthmark with your pinky finger, especially if it's ass-bound. I'm sure you've all seen your share of butt-dimples as well. These are difficult to explain, but they are 'okay' as long as the surface of the ass doesn't look like a diagram of radio waves. The hole which is found on the ass, yes, I know it's a difficult topic to cover, but it must be discussed! The arse-hole MUST be air tight, no stretch marks, no pulsating 'breathing' movements, and definitely no hair. Hypothetical situation: You're having sex with a girl and you slip your manhood into her fairly easily, if she says "Wrong hole dear," you give her five dollars and get the hell out of there. The perfect ass is pure. No more on this sickening topic. Onto bounce and jiggle, my favorite part of the discussion. I'm sure you've all seen those television shows where women shake their ass up and down in an erotic fuck-me-now motion. All asses are capable of doing this awe inspiring technique; the woman must master this technique. She may never use it, but she has to know that she has it just incase she really wanted to get someone's...attention. The ass should be jiggly to the touch and should shape and form like Jell-O to your every command. I know I'm forgetting something, bah! There you have it, the perfect female ass. I would scan a picture in and give you a prime example of such a marvelous ass, but I doubt she'd speak to me again if I did. God bless the ass.... |