| How To
Annoy Your Co-Workers |
- After every sentence, say "man" in a really bad Jamaican
accent.
- At the end of a meeting, suggest that for once it would be nice to
conclude with the singing of the national anthem.
- Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask "Did you get
all that, I don't want to have to repeat it"
- Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask, "Do you
want to trade?"
- Every time someone asks you to do something, ask him or her if they
want fries with that.
- Feign an unnatural and hysterical fear of staplers.
- Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits.
Wear them one day after your boss does.
- Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
- For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob".
- Hi-lite your shoes. Tell people you haven't lost them as often
since you did this.
- Ignore the first five people who say good morning to you
- In a meeting slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter "Shut up
damn it, all of you just shut up!"
- Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the
nozzle.
- Page yourself over the intercom and don’t disguise your voice.
- Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and
say "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye".
- Put a chair facing a printer. Sit there all day and tell people
you're waiting for your document.
- Put decaf in the coffeemaker for three weeks. Once everyone has
withdrawn from caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.
- Put your trash can on your desk and label it "IN".
- Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person:
"Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now".
- Run one lap around the office at top speed.
- Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with
double-barreled fingers.
- Send e-mail back and forth to yourself, engaging yourself in an
intellectual debate. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the
disagreement.
- Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
- Speak with an accent during a very important conference call.
- Clamp your hands over your ears and grimace to signal the end of a
conversation.
- When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper
"Mmm, that feels soo good!"
- While an office co-worker is out, move their chair into the
elevator.
- While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors
open.
- While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive. Call
everyone Madge.
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