Anything Goes School of Masquerade Arts

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AGSMA at Worldcon 2006
Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends Script
Even though Cheese once made by stomach turn
I love Cheese
I hope to have my share of Cheese every day!
Perhaps even for the rest of my life.
Even though Cheese smells.
I think if we all look deep into our hearts, we can learn to have an appreciation for Cheese

With the advent of video, AGSMA will not have the usually scheduled skit re-enactment.
Please visit AGSMA Multimedia for the video to "The Cheese Stands Alone"

The Script to The Cheese Stands Alone
Music Change/Notes

The Cast (in order of appearance)
Wilt
Mac
Coco
Eduardo
Richie Wildebrat
Blake Superior
Bloo
"Frankie" Frances Foster
Cheese

Dark stage
Cue up Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends Theme
Wilt: Here we are, guys. A convention for Imaginary Friends!
Mac: Hey, has anyone seen Bloo? Is he still watching TV?!
(Blake and Richie have entered)
Mac: (sees Richie and Blake) Oh man, I didn’t know YOU guys were coming.

Richie: HelLO, Mac. You remember my friend Blake SUPERIOR, the world’s Best Imaginary Friend. His recent feats include saving baby seals and making Microsoft crash-proof.
Mac: Whatever, Richie Wildebrat. What’s so great about a tiger with a cape and his underwear on the outside?
Richie: At least mine HAS a cape. AND superpowers.
Blake: (proudly) And underwear!

Mac: At least MY friends don’t need underwear to prove that THEY’RE the best!
Richie: There’s only one way to prove who’s the best imaginary friend.
Mac: Do you mean a—
Richie: Yeah. A pose-off. Right here.
Mac: Fine! Last friend left standing is.
Richie: The.
Mac: WINNER.
Richie: YEAH?!
Mac: YEAH.
Richie: (leaves the stage). Get ‘em, Blake.

Blake: HA HA HA! Now witness the power of the TIGER.
Wilt: Mac, I don’t know if this is such a good idea—
Mac: We can’t let that stupid Blake Superior win! You guys are the best!
Coco: Co, cocococococo!
Eduardo: Si si, Senor Mac. We is too stage fright!
Mac: There’s no time for that now! Where’s Bloo?! We gotta find him, quick!
(Bloo enters the stage)
Bloo: Can you BELIEVE that they don’t get Project Runway here?!
Mac: BLOO! Thank goodness! Quick,
we’rehavingacontestwithBlakeSuperiorit’saposeoffandwegottawinbecauseRichieisaninsufferable—
(Bloo hits Mac)
Mac: Ow!
Bloo: Say no more, Mac. What kind of friend lets his best buddy down?

Cue up Survivor - Eye of the Tiger
Mac: Come on guys, you’re doing great!
Eduardo: Senor Mac, he too awesome!
Bloo: Juice! Get me a juicebox!
Wilt: Nooo problem, little buddy. I’ll get you some! (leaves stage)
Mac: No Wilt, don’t go! Argh!!
Coco: Cococo COCO! (flops down as if tired)
Mac: No, Coco, don’t give up!
(Blake continues to pose and flex slowly)
Blake: HA HA HA! Giving up so soon?!
Bloo: Shut up, you big overgrown cheetah!
Eduardo: Senor Bloo, he a tiger, not cheetah. Eek!
(Blake moves over to middle of stage, Bloo also moves to meet with him, Ed tries to hide behind Bloo)
Blake: No one calls ME a cheater! I’ll FINISH you.
Bloo: BRING IT ON.
(They stare at each other threateningly, Bloo charges but is held back by Mac, Blake ignores him)

Frankie: Hey guys.
Mac: Frankie! And Cheese? Where’d Cheese come from?
Cheese: CHEESE comes from HAPPY COWS.
Cue up Cheese Theme from Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends
Frankie: He was in the bathroom eating the soap again. What’s going on—a pose-off! Ohmigosh!
Mac: Yeah! The last friend left standing is the winner!
Cheese: OOH! I LIK3 THIS GAME!! POOT OFF!
Frankie: No, Cheese—“Pose-off,” not poot...
(*MASSIVE FART NOISE* Frankie holds Cheese at arm's length to demonstrate that he did it, Blake, Ed and Bloo act shocked)
Cheese: I pooted.

Frankie: (holding nose) GROOOOOSS!
Ed: Ai Carumba! It stink! (moves away from Cheese)
Blake: The stench! I'm outta here! (runs offstage)
Bloo: FORFEIT!! YOU LOSE, BLAKE!! And the last friend left (wobble)...standing...is...is!!! (falls)
Frankie: CHEESE?!
Cheese: The Cheese stands alone!
Cheese: DOITAGAIN DOITAGAIN DOITAGAIN DOITAGAIN DOITAGAIN DOITAGAIN....

Cue up Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends Theme
Mac: Oh well. You guys don't have to win some stupid pose-off to prove you're the best! You're the best friends a kid could ever have.
(Everyone but Bloo leaves, Mac in the rear)
Bloo: Go on without me, Mac. I'm done for!
Mac: Aw, I was gonna treat you all to ice cream.
Bloo: What?! I mean, uh, I feel better now!
(Bloo follows Mac offstage)
Black stage


Cheese: I have tonsillitis!
The Cheese Stands Alone is a production by GAP and AGSMA ©.

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