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Once Upon A Midnight Anger and pain well up in my heart, and it’s all I can do to keep from exploding. He has minced words, twisted their meaning, to protect his wallet. He knows I need to move on, get out, get away, but he doesn’t want me to. Whether he knows it or not, he has trapped me here, hiding behind a financial excuse that isn’t really valid. I cannot scream, because he will hear. I cannot hit, because he will retaliate. All I can do is walk and hope my head clears before I return. I don two coats against the frigid temperatures, leash my pet, and start off. The night air is still, the sky clear, the stars bright. Next to the moon, I see Orion, his belt being one of the few things in the sky I can recognize. I walk to the park, gaze into the heavens, and let the wonders of the universe draw my thoughts away from my fury. Those little points of light beaming at me somehow relax me, and while the anger remains, it is low and smoldering, lying in wait for another confrontation. I am healed, for the time being, and so start back towards home. I hate thinking of that place as home. I need to be myself, find a new home that is mine, not his. In typical fashion for one my age, I want everything, and I want it now. My rational mind tells me to be patient, to plan, to do what I can and wait for the rest. My emotional mind screams back that I have been patient too long. There must be a balance between effort and results. I come inside, warm my hands, and am thankful that he is asleep now. I look to my friends for justification of my anger, but all are asleep and cannot help me. I distract myself with some success, and decide there is nothing more I can do about the situation. I will go on with my life, manage as best I can, and hope that he will change his mind, though I know he won’t. Content Copyright © 2002 L. Force unless otherwise noted. You hear that? It's mine. All mine! Steal it, and I'll come after you with a rusty spoon. Then I'll make you drink water from that rusty spoon and you'll gag because drinking water from a rusty spoon is disgusting and you'll get really upset because you should have known better than to steal my friggin material. So, um, don't steal. If you think I'm brilliant enough to quote, tell me and provide a link back here. Thanks muchly. Want another disclaimer? Click here. |