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	Zeldamastery: Zora's Domain      I will not speak of the horrible fact that you have to converse with Kaepaa Gorabaa, but the owl is the most annoying creature in all of Hyrule. And the worst thing of all is that you must speak to him each time you fall in the water and leave the Zora's River area before you enter Zora's Domain. Along the way, you meet your best friend—the octorocks. They try to pester you by shooting you with large stones each time you pass them. However, they are big scardey-cats; if you get within two feet of them in the water, they cower in fear and hide in some type of hole in the ground. I'm not sure where they go. They can especially be pestering when you go at a slower pace since you're holding a chicken. People, there's a reason there are chickens. Look up: you should see heart pieces! Anyway, once you get the heart pieces, or even if you don't bother to do so, there is a metal square on the last land bridge before the end of the river area on which a triforce symbol is inscribed. I wonder what song you should play? If you don't get this one, you shouldn't be playing the game. After you play the song, the door to Zora's Domain opens, allowing you to enter. The door shuts after a little while, so you must be quick.      Upon entering the great hall, you see water everywhere. The Zoras swim in the water day and night. Aren't they supposed to be guarding the King's water source? No matter. The first thing you must do, if you're going to do anything in this "Waterworld," is to go up the stairs to where you see the King, but take a left into the tunnel before you ever speak with him. You find a male Zora who asks if you want to play a diving game. This is a very easy game, and you get the Silver Scale from it, which is very useful in this area. The next required part of your quest also requires your getting of the Silver Scale, so if you chickened out, go get it now. In the bottom-most lake in Zora's Domain, face the flat area which leads to the Zora Shop. Tread water about fifteen yards from the shore and dive down to find an underwater doorway. The doorway leads to Lake Hylia, where you'll find rupees, a Zora, and a bottle! Z-target the bottle and center yourself above it to get the bottle. It is signed Princess Ruto. She is the Princess of the Zora's Kingdom. I think some sort of inbreeding has caused her extreme ugliness—you will see what I mean when you see her in Jabu Jabu's Belly. Take the bottle with the letter back through the warp point, and show it to her father, the great, enormous, massive, fat, disgusting, lazy, repulsive, (did I mention extremely fat?) king. He will scoot his butt over to the left so that you can get into Zora's Fountain. The scooting takes 25 seconds, including countless molecular scoots of his enormous butt. The last thing you should do it take the empty bottle you have just gained and go down to the knee-deep pool to the north of the Zora Shop. Grab a fish and then head on to the next area which used to be blocked by the king's unspeakably enormous behind.      Wade knee-deep in water until you get out to the fountain. Go to the right of Lord Jabu Jabu and swim over to a small landing with shrubs, trees, and a tekite. You know what to do with the tekite, right? After killing the tekite, take a bomb and place it in front of the brown stone near the wall. Surprisingly, you won't blow up the boulder, you'll blow up the wall. This is another of the Great Fairy Fountains. She will give you Farore's Wind, which will transport you, not any animate or inanimate beings with you. This magic would be greatly helpful in the next dungeon, which has you carry around Ruto's lazy butt most of the way. You can swim back to the set of stairs before the Great Lord Jabu Jabu, and set the fish which you have bottled in front of his mouth. He will open his mouth not only to take in the fish, but also you! He's a big, no—enormous, no—humongous, no—gigantic fish. His bowel system includes many rooms and enemies. Wouldn't you get a stomachache? Anyway, you meet lazy Ruto in the fourth room, who makes you carry her until you get to the miniboss—Big Octo. This may be a difficult task, but she will only reward you with hostility in the end. Along the way, you enter a series of rooms with tentacles blocking the doors. One is not blocked with a tentacle, but with a switch. Set Ruto upon this switch, allowing your passage into the room. You must kill the enemies and tentacles in each room to get to the final room, where you get the boomerang. You get this item way too late in your childhood to be of much use, but you will need it when you decide to challenge the boss. This dungeon is a bit strange, what with all the body parts you must go through, but it's pretty easy once you get the hang of it.      The boss of this dungeon is hard in my opinion. Not even the most skilled Zeldamaster may leave this battle unscathed. However, the plethora of recovery hearts in the pots in this room make it a bit easier. You will receive the normal heart container, the Zora's Sapphire, and Ruto's hand in marriage. What? I don't want that! Evil! Evil! Is Shigeru Miyamoto trying to make me vomit? I think he is. I don't want a four-eyed fish creature as my wife. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwww!      Head back to Hyrule Castle, and you will see to where your childhood antics have led. 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