It is not a cut and dry answer. Grief has a tricky way of showing itself and because as a society we have little or no practice in knowing how to handle grief, it can be confusing and as a breaved parent, give mixed messages. There are several websites and literature that can give a loved one some guidelines, such as, Do's & Don't Grief Support List from M.I.S.S. (Mother's in Sympathy & Support).
A Grandmother's Grief ~
The death of your grandchild is like a double edged sword. You grieve for the death of a baby whom you cherished; a baby whom you had hopes and dreams for. But you also grieve the death of your own child, the baby's mother or father. For the baby's parents died with the baby. Not physically, but figuratively. Your own flesh and blood, the person whom you once knew your child to be, will never be again. Your child has been transformed in a moment of time into a new person. An overwhelming grief has touched their lives.
It is a time of confusion, anger and frustration for many grandparents. Offer your unconditional love and support. Go to support group meetings with your child and go to a grandparents group for yourselves. Remember your grandchild on special occasions such as his or her birthday/death day, Christmas and Easter. Send your child a Mother's Day or Father's Day card reminding them that they are still the parents of the precious child, always loved but now lost. Share their pain with them, even years later. It will surely create an even deeper bond of love, appreciation and fortitude withstanding the passing of time and circumstances. (copyright J.Cacciatore, M.I.S.S. )
Stop the Junk Mail - get your name off the baby mailing lists and telemarkers. Send a postcard to the following address stating you would like your name removed from ALL their lists:
Mail Preference Service
Direct Marketing Association
PO Box 9008
Farmingdale, NY 11735-9008
(212)768-7277
How can you help a friend, parent, co-worker who has gone through a childbearing loss? Consider joining the The Kindness Project , sponsered by a wonderful support organization M.I.S.S.
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