We had tried to have a baby for almost a year. When I got the results of the pregnancy test I was so happy. I had so many hopes and dreams for my little boy. It was over almost as quickly as it began. At 7 weeks I found myself in the emergency room threatening to have a miscarriage. I said so many prayers and God let me keep my son, if only for a while longer. The pregnancy was not an easy one. When I was 26 weeks, I was awoken in the middle of the night by me water breaking. I was frozen still, I couldn't believe that this had actually happened. The doctors gave me medication to stop the contractions, in hopes I could hang on for a couple more weeks. To make it a little bit safer for the baby to be born. After 2 weeks on bedrest in a hospital bed, my placenta started to abrupt. I had no choise. Brandon was going to be born that day. 8 hours later my son was born--asleep. I couldn't cry. Not out of denial, but because I knew that my son was going to Heaven to live in peace. As I held him my heart felt like stopping too. I just wanted to go with him. Brandon made such an impact on my life just in the short time he was here. I think of him everyday and wish he was still here. I love him and miss him so much. The autopsy showed a congential heart defect that would have taken him to heaven no matter when he was born.

I was 36 weeks pregnant with Krystalyn when my appendix burst and the poison went through and killed her, I almost died as well. I kept going to the doctor for 3 days, they kept telling me I had the flu and sending me home. I was miserable. They would also say I looked very dehydrated then why didn't they put me in the hospital!?! They waited until there was nothing else to do. When I was finally put in the hospital my blood pressure was 83/35, everything in my body shut down but my heart and brain. They thought they were going to lose me as well. I was 17 years old.

This has changed my whole outlook on life, I grew up fast. I wish I could explain for them why this happened but I can't, you just have to stay strong. I know it's not my fault. It was a challenge that I went through and one day I will meet with my Krystalyn again. If there is anyone else out there that has gone through similar experiences, all I can tell you is I'm sorry. I kind of know what you're going through and stay strong deal with it but don't let it take over you. May God Bless You, go ahead and email me I will talk to you. RIP Krystalyn and everyone elses children.

On October 11, 1998, my little baby girl was stillborn. I had a perfect pregnancy (even though I knew something was wrong the last month). On Friday, October 9 I heard the heartbeat at the doctor's office. Sometime later that day, I knew she was gone. I prayed that night to God to help me get through this. I talked to my doctor the next day and asked if I could go be checked. They could not find a heartbeat, and I delievered her Sunday night at 10:07 p.m.

She was the most beautiful little baby girl, with dark curly hair and a little cleft in her chin. She looked perfect. My husband held her in the chair, and I told him the next baby he holds will be crying. We are going to try to have another baby. After seeing her, I want a million babies. I know I would have done anything in the world for her. My heart aches, and I feel like I walk around with my heart outside my body, like anything and anyone can hurt me. I have found my most support through all of you others who have experienced this, too. I am amazed at some people's insensitivity, they say it's like I had a miscarriage, and I should be over this because I never knew her. My husband and I both knew her. We talked to her all the time through my stomach, and told her that her mommy and daddy love her.

I could go on forever. I am going to be putting her picture on for everyone to see how beautiful she was. I don't really know what else to write now. Her life touched so many people's. She's my little angel in heaven.

My beautiful son was born still 3 weeks before his due date due to a blood filled mass on his liver.His tiny body couldn't sustain life outside me so when the doctor cut his lifeline to me he died. The mass on his liver comsumed his blood supply to his tiny heart and caused his death. We miss him terribly, and wonder what his life would be like today if only he was with us. The Lord has greatly blessed us with more children who look like our baby Nathan so I know he is still with us in the reflections of Johnathan and Jordan. We love you, Nathan, you're in our hearts forever! Mommy, Daddy, and your brothers and sister.

My angel came into this world nine years ago this December 8th,1989. I don't know exactly when his spirit left his body through mine to go and meet our Lord. My doctor said he had been gone for about 2 weeks. I often wonder what I was doing when he passed away inside my body.

Was I buying him new toys or decorating his room? Had I just read him a story or sang him a lullaby? Maybe I was sleeping and dreaming of his arrival when his tiny life slipped away. I ask myself often how could I not have known? Was there some hint I missed, some feeling of forebodeing I simply passed off as part of pregnancy? Was there something I, as his mother, could have done differently in order to save his life? I guess I'll never know all the answers.

It's been nine years and I still miss him and think of him all the time. I wish I had pictures but none were taken because my husband at the time was afraid he might find them someday and be made more upset by them.I was in surgery when that decision was made. So much seemed out of my hands. It was unfair and cruel, the things that were done in order to supposedly protect me from hurt. But those things were what in the end were most painful.

After 10 hours of induced labor, I finally had my son.There was no cry no tiny noise to signal his arrival. Only silence as deep and lonley as I have ever endured. They took him away to "clean him up" as I waited anxiously to hold him close in my arms. I had dreamed of this moment as every mother does, and knowing he was not alive did not change my excitement. The nurse finally brought him to me, but not in her arms swaddled in a blanket. She brought him to me in a cold metal pan laying on top of a blanket like some sort of speciman. I was speechless. She sat the pan on my lap and said "the doctor said not to touch him, his skin might slip off." Then she backed away and waited as if she expected me to turn away in horror from my child. I did not turn away. And I was not horrified by his appearance.

He was so beautiful! Tiny, yes, but so very beautiful. He only weighed 7 ounces because he had lost so much weight since I carried him 2 more weeks after he died. His skin was the rose petal red common to preemies. And he had soft fuzzy hair on his tiny body. He looked like a perfect little baby boy. His fingers were so small and sweet. His feet were just like my own and I took comfort in our likeness. He had dark hair and the most beautiful full lips, slightly parted as if only asleep. His lips were a little dry and I thought to myself if only I could kiss them it would bring him back to life as in a fairytale.

My thoughts were interupted by the nurse who came and snatched him away hurriedly, saying "you have to go to surgery now I'm sorry." That was the first and last time I ever saw my little boy. My pastor took him in his tiny casket to his house and I never saw him again. The next day my folks took me straight to the cemetery for his service. I sat there in devestation and shock, wanting to grab up his coffin and run away with him. I did not, but sometimes wish I had just to have the chance to look at his precious face one last time.

Time has passed and I have other children with my new husband who are so loved. I am proud to be their mother and have the chance to love a child again. But I always remember my first love and have told his brothers all about him. Someday we will all be together in heaven for the first time. That will truly be a wonderful homecomeing. Until then I will remember him always, dream of him often, and love him for all eternity. He is my tiny rose, plucked from this life too soon, but remembered for the miracle he was and will always be.

I miss my daughter so much and I am thankful for places like this that help to remember children. I have been pregnant five times, and only have one living child. I have three miscarrages early on in pregnancy. I switched doctors to try and find out what was causing it. The doctor seemed unwilling to help. My new doctor decided I had a hormone imbalance. So, when I became pregnant with my daughter, I was giving hormone shots three days per week for the fiirst tweleve weeks. After I made it to the 14th week, I thought I was home free. I was over joyed. I was finally going to become a mother.

I carried her up until 32 1/2 weeks with no problems at all. But one day she just stopped moving. I cannot tell you how horrifying it was to be on that table, having the doctor serch for the heartbeat and hearing nothing but static. The doctor just sat and shook her head. didn't know what to do when they told me she was dead. I was to shocked to cry. My doctor hugged me and began to cry, but I just stared at the wall. It was to most aweful day of my life. I was put into the hospitol and induced into labor. She was born January 22, 1997 at around 12:00 pm. It was a Wednesday. They couldn't tell me the whys really only that the placenta had suddenly separated from the uterus. Later they decided it was due to a division in my uterus that had a low blood supply. I have some pictures of her that I keep in a flowered box at the foot of my bed. She will always be in my heart.

Tyler died 2/12/96 due to hydrops. We wanted another baby when Megan was 3y.o. so we started trying just after her 2nd Birthday. We were so happy when I found out that I was pregnant, we told everyone. Come to find out my sister and sister-in-law was also expecting around the same time so we were happy they all were going to grow up together. My husband and I wanted to know the sex so at 20 weeks I had an ultrasound. We found out that it was a boy, my family was going to be completed after his birth.

Well our happiness turned to nevousness because they found something on the ultrasound, I had extra fluid. We were followed at a level 1 Hosp. for the rest of pregnancy always reassured that he would be ok. Well of course they didn't have a clue. Tyler developed fluid in his lungs which had to be drained twice but it still didn't help he later developed fluid in his abdomen. He was taken by c-sec on 2/12/96 and only lived for 30mins. We buried him 5 days later after I got home.

We had such hope for him because we were always told he would survive. He was born at 30 weeks. We decided to try again, I wanted to hold another baby and to feel life. Sarah was conceived 6months after Tyler died. She has given me so much. Best thing I ever did. We unexpectantly got pregnant again when she was 7months old. It was a boy the best pregnancy until 1 day past the due date he had no heartbeat. We couldn't believe it I had lost another child. We don't know why.