***
EPILOGUE - Crib-notes version: Steve re-opens the testing site, with the test scorers having the advantage over the testees for a change.
***


TITLE OVER:

One year later

EXT. SHEARS TESTING CENTER - DAY

It is another first day, but things have changed dramatically. All workers are impeccably dressed and are unusually happy, greeting and backslapping each other. At the entrance door, underneath the Shears sign is another sign: "Under New Management."

INT. SHEARS TESTING CENTER ENTRANCE - DAY

An impeccably dressed Jeff enthusiastically greets each new worker, then gives him or her a clip-on ID badge. Two of the workers he greets are Phil and Lana, holding hands and showing off their traded wedding rings to anyone who will listen to them.

INT. SHEARS TESTING CENTER - DAY

The center looks nothing like the converted warehouse of the previous year. The walls are freshly painted with vibrant colors, and inspirational paintings are hung everywhere. Each worker's computer is at an individual desk that has large, comfortable rolling chairs to replace the old, dilapidated chairs. In place of the previous, stuffy break room, a huge buffet of juices, bagels, appetizers, etc., greets the incoming workers, who happily partake as they mingle. It looks more like happy hour than a first day at work. The only sour note is the disgruntled waitress who is solemnly filling people's juice glasses and putting out the food plates. The waitress is Marie, who was evidently unemployable elsewhere. The same podium and speaker system still occupy the room's center, which is now approached by Steve. He, too, is crisply dressed and is far more at ease than ever before.

STEVE
Ladies and gentlemen . . . everyone . . . if I can have your attention for a few moments, please be seated. I'd like to welcome each and every one of you to the new and improved Spears Testing Center. And if you have ever worked her in the past under previous management, I can only say this . . . you won't recognize the place!

The workers cheer heartily. Steve reaches around to a banner on the wall behind him.

STEVE (CONT'D)
Based on my previous experience with this company, I thought it best to start fresh. And in that spirit, I've composed a new motto for our center. The motto is printed underneath this banner, so when I take the banner off, I'd appreciate it if you all would help me read the motto aloud. Ready? One . . . two . . . three!

Steve tears the banner off, and everyone reads the motto aloud.

ALL
"If you can't read them, you don't grade them!"

All of the workers cheer uproariously.

STEVE
(raising his hand)
Now, to go over some of the opening-day formalities, I'd like to introduce my lovely wife Adrienne.

As the workers match Steve's applause, Adrienne approaches the podium. She is crisply dressed and visibly pregnant.

ADRIENNE
Thank you very much. Let me begin by saying, if anyone ever has a question about any of our procedures, please raise your hand, and one of our representatives will help you as promptly as possible!

As Adrienne continues her spiel, Steve stands off to the side, beaming with pride. Suddenly he looks puzzled as he feels around in his coat pocket. He pulls out his old, dog-collar-like ID badge and smiles. He pulls the badge tightly, snaps the string, and discards it in a nearby wastebasket that is already filled to the brim with old, discarded I.D. badges.

TITLE OVER:

Why Movies Have Credits

EXT. CHINESE STREET CORNER - DAY

A man and a woman are sitting at a long table. Although the persons are Chinese, they resemble Bill and Marie -- the man with grey hair and glasses, the woman with dark hair and a resigned look. The couple is pressing wooden blocks onto pieces of paper and are not paying particular attention to what they are doing. Suddenly, the man looks down, gets an angry look on his face, and berates the women in Chinese.

CHINESE MAN
(via subtitle)
Careless fool! You forgot to carve our names into the blocks! Now we will never get any credit for inventing this!

FADE OUT:

THE END



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