Testing :: Tuesday

*** TUESDAY - Crib-notes version: Marie lays down the law for Steve. ***

TITLE OVER:

Tuesday

INT. SHEARS TESTING CENTER BREAK ROOM - DAY

Clock on wall reads 7:59. Dining tables show scattered remnants of food scraps and reading material. As workers scurry around getting drinks or heading for their desks, one nonchalant worker sits at a table, buried in a newspaper that sports the front-page headline, "U.S. Schools' Test Scores Decline, Recent Studies Show."

INT. SHEARS TESTING CENTER - DAY

Marie is heading the day's training session. She is standing at the podium next to her projector.

MARIE All right now. After reading the prompt for this practice response, how many people scored this as a "1"?

A few workers raise their hands.

MARIE (CONT'D) Really? How many "3's"?

The majority of workers raise their hands.

MARIE (CONT'D) Well, this surprises me. Our supervising committee scored this as a "1".

The "1"-scorers smirk triumphantly. The rest of the crowd loudly voices displeasure, particularly Steve and Jeff.

MARIE (CONT'D) Now, let me discuss this. The prompt clearly asks the reader to "describe the history of The newspaper beginning in 700 A.D." Now, if you read the history that was given to the reader, the history of the newspaper clearly goes far beyond 700 A.D. In fact, it goes...let me look at the paper again...yes, it goes all the way up to the present. Now, how could this paper get anything but a "1"? (points to upraised hand) Yes, you have a question? WORKER Yes, but isn't that just what the prompt called for? MARIE Pardon me? WORKER The prompt said, "Describe the history of the newspaper beginning in 700 A.D." I thought the reader gave a very good description of how the newspaper began in 700 A.D. He wrote, "It was first printed in China, by hand, using wooden blocks."

Steve and Jeff nod their heads. The crowd murmurs its quiet agreement.

MARIE Well...certainly it describes the first newspaper very well. The trouble is that the given history goes well beyond 700 A.D., and the reader didn't cover that.

Steve winces.

JEFF But the prompt does not specifically ask for the entire history. It asks for the newspaper's beginning. MARIE Well, I think you're starting to split hairs now. Of course the prompt does not specifically ask for the entire history, but I'd certainly say that that is implied. (pointing at STEVE) Yes? STEVE But the reader described what was asked for. Can't we at least give him credit for . . . MARIE (clearly growing irritated) Look, I'm afraid that all this academic debate is rather beside the point. The committee scored this as a "1" based on criteria that was fairly clearly stated in the prompt.

Steve scowls slightly.

MARIE (CONT'D) And furthermore, I'm perfectly aware that you are just as desperate for a job as I am.

Steve's eyebrow raises slightly as the "fantasy" Marie continues.

MARIE (CONT'D) It was exactly this kind of confrontational behavior that lost you your teaching job in the first place.

Steve looks around at the rest of the workers, who show no surprise at Marie's tirade.

MARIE (CONT'D) Perhaps if you had learned somewhere in your dithering career to suck it up a bit, you would not be floundering at a job that is clearly your final alternative to the welfare office.

Steve cowers slightly in his seat.

MARIE (CONT'D) Now, the committee scored this thing as a "1", and they may be a good-old-boy network overflowing with testosterone and test bias, but the goddamn Nazis sign my paycheck every week, and their tentacles are spread all over the statewide educational system, so I'll be fucked if I'm going to cross them! So just play the game and try to make sense of their ass-backwards scoring system.

Steve gulps.

MARIE (CONT'D) And while you're at it, get your brain out of your dick and stop staring at Adrienne's cleavage! This is a testing center, not a peephole to the girls' locker room.

Steve averts his eyes from Adrienne, who nonchalantly keeps looking at Marie while buttoning the bottom button of her blouse.

***

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