Redneck Jokes#3

You might be a redneck if......

• Your dog and your wallet are both on a chain.
• You have a rag for a gas cap and a hefty bag for a side window.
• When asked for I.D. you show them your belt buckle.
• Your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.
• Your wife's hair-do was ever ruined by a ceiling fan.
• Your brother-in-law is also your uncle.
• Your father walks you to school because you're both in the same grade.
• Your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.
• You view your next family reunion as a chance to meet babes.
• Your house doesn't have curtains but your pick-up does.
• Your father encourages you to quit school because Uncle Larry has an opening at the "Lube Rack".
• You think that safe sex is a padded headboard on the waterbed.
• Anyone in your family has ever worn a tube-top to a wedding.
• Your richest relative buys a new house and you have to help him take off the wheels and skirt it.
• You consider a six-pack and a bug zapper to be quality entertainment.
• Your mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board.
• Your front porch collapses and it kills more than three dogs.
• Your family tree doesn't fork.
• You ever have to scratch your sister's name off the walls in restrooms in messages that say for
• a good time call...
• Directions to your house include the phrase Rturn off the paved road.
• There are four or more cars up on blocks in the front yard.
• You bought a VCR because wrestling is on while you're at bingo.
• You prominently display the gift you got at Graceland.
• You have an Elvis Jell-o mold.
• You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
• You own more cowboy boots than sneakers.
• You've been to a funeral and there were more pick-ups than cars.
• Jack Daniels makes your most admired list.
• You think that a Volvo is part of a woman's body.
• You have only one more hole to be punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
• You have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over yourfireplace.
• You just bought an 8-track player to put in your car.
• You owe the taxidermist more than your annual income.

  Last updated 01/31/05

  
  

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