Redneck Jokes#8

You might be a redneck if......

  • You've ever had to siphon gas from your lawn mower to put into your truck.
  • Your kid calls your sister, mom.
  • You've ever tried to drown a fish.
  • You buy your jewelry at the hardware store.
  • You've ever had to knock the spider webs down to use the bathroom.
  • Your Christmas stocking is full of ammo.
  • You go to the DMV to transfer the title to your home.
  • You actually like Spam.
  • Your pickup truck has a bigger turning radius than your house.
  • Your wife howls at the moon more than your huntin' dogs.
  • The same pair of boots have been in your family for five generations and they're
  • only twenty years old.
  • You go swimming in the drainage ditch behind your house.
  • Your kids fight with the dogs for their dinner.
  • You have more pet names for your huntin' dawg than for your girlfriend.
  • You go to church to pick up women.
  • You think that Australia is ruled by the south because their flags are similar.
  • You think the Franklin Mint is a breath freshener.
  • Your only tie is made of leather, silver and turquoise.
  • You buy a can of Mountain Dew just to serve as a container to spit tobacco juice in.
  • If bar-b-que is a daily thing.
  • You think that the Dark Side is a room in your house.
  • You think doctorin' involves mamma's sewing kit and a jug.
  • You think a Ford Mustang is a new breed of horse.(Thanks Amanda)
  • You prefer to sleep in the truck than in your house.
  • You break wind in public and blame it on your kid.
  • You vacuum the sheets instead of washing them.
  • You've ever gotten an official letter of recognition from a tobacco or beer company.
  • You've ever taken reading material into an airplane restroom.
  • You've ever paid for a 6-pack of beer with pennies.
  • There are hubcap wind chimes anywhere on your block.
  • You have a Bud Light pool table light hanging over your dining room table.
  • The strongest smell in your house is butane.
  • Your dog passes gas and you claim it.
  • The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas it has in it.
  • You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.
  • One of your kids was born on a pool table.
  • Your dad walks you to school because you are both in the same grade.
  • You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
  • You have flowers planted in a bathroom fixture in your front yard.
  • Ya can't get married to yer sweetheart 'cause there's a law against it.
  • You dated one of your parents current spouses in high school.
  • You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
  • Your school fight song is "Dueling Banjos".
  • Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

    Last updated 01/31/05