Redneck Jokes#4

You might be a redneck if......

• You ever fantasized about Princess Leah wearing Daisy Duke shorts.
• You've ever lost a loved one to kudzu.
• Your boat has not left the drive-way in 15 years.
• Chiggers are included on your list of top five hygiene concerns.
• You have ever accidentally referred to Darth Vader's evil empire as "them damn Yankees."
• You burn your yard rather than mow it.
• You've ever raked leaves in your kitchen.
• The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
• You think Han Solo would look better in flannel cause he looks like a sissy in that vest.
• You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.
• In your opinion, that Darth Vader fellow just "ain't right.".
• Your wife has been on six talk shows talking about you.
• You think fast food is hitting a deer going 100 miles an hour.
• If your family tree doesn't fork.
• If you've ever been too drunk to fish.
• If your richest relative buys a new house and you have to help him take the wheels off of it.
• If you refer to the 5th grade as your senior year.
• If your dad walks you to school because your in the same grade.
• Ifstarting your car involves popping the hood.
• If your kid has a three day old kool-aid mustache.
• You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl.'
• You think that Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
• Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
• You go to your family reunion looking for a date.
• Your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.
• You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are, "Gentlemen, start your engines.".
• You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
• You take a six-pack cooler to church.
• You had to remove a toothpick for your wedding pictures.

Last Updated 01/31/05