The Great Ancient Turd Saga
The Great Ancient Turd Saga
"... deep within the heart of the stinky swamp, I was suddenly struck by something; no, not the poo which those thrice-damned monkeys perpetually tossed at me and the rest of my party. No, there were no monkeys anymore. Verily, I had seen no sign of life for three days and three nights, and I wondered at the power that the dead trees alone stand witness to. Such ignorance is a luxury no longer afforded me. Deeper still I ventured; the stench was indescribably horrible, and one-by-one my porters fell under the thrall of some entity whose call was beginning to echo in the back of my own mind. Like helpless automatons, they each wandered into the murky waters, and I never saw them again. Alone, I ventured onward, the insistent call ever growing more urgent, until finally, I beheld in all its horrid splendor, an abomination! For it was then that I found the... ARRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHhhhhhhhh*"
...uh, that's it. Apparently, the prophet chose this dramatically appropriate moment to expire, although none of us have the slightest idea as to why he would actually write out his own dying cry... weird, eh? So anyhoo, it looks like it's up to us "elders" to get off our lazy rears and figure out what the deal is with this thing that was strong enough to drive away a tribe of poo-lobbin' primates. Stay tuned!
Wednesday, May 13, Somewhere within the stinky swamp-
I hate the heat! A few months in Bagrada and one forgets what it's like to have gnats swarm so thick about his head that he cannot see his own feet. Poor Poopman forgot his bug spray, and I'm darned if he's getting my skin-so-soft®! That weasel PooP has already ferreted his way into using half the bottle in exchange for his "protection" from the alligators in the swamp. I'll bet he just made up those alligators. Hmmph. He wouldn't need so much of that stuff if he cut his hair every year or so.
I so miss my comrades back home, with their luxuries which this swamp has none of. I bet PhantomPoop is using a real toilet right now, and not this sorry latrine which I had to dig myself.
Earlier today, we found a nest of those poo-lobbin' primates which the cryptic writings spoke of. The nest was long abandoned, but while looking for a bathroom, Poopman stumbled over a hideous bas-releif of a truly frightening thing. It displayed a vaguely humanoid figure of bloated corpulence, its pulpy head surmounted by a mass of rubbery feelers, squatting wickedly over a toilet with wings extended. (Interesting material the sculptor used, not unlike the PooPets we have back home). Truly, this is a frightening thing, for the monster reminds me of something, in the manner that a scar reminds you of a horrific accident. Could it be? Great gallopin' balls o' poop! That thing on the toilet is none other than Great Cthulhu! Could it be, that we are on the trail of the droppings of a creature older than history can tell? PooP and Poopman are very grave... we are onto something big.
| The Order of Poop Myth Pages | The Order of Poop StarCraft Pages |
|
Members |
