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Cassie Hanaway
Critique Page Editor
Reviews For May 20- May 25
CRITIQUE OF THE WEEK
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name = Ken Bushnell
Narrative_author = The Fine Art Of Home Improvement by Patti Dinneen
Points = 5 points
opinion of the narrative and author = This is the second funniest thing I have ever read. I guess you're going to have to call the copyright police. I showed a copy to Darrel in the warehouse. He wanted to impress the girls in the office so he showed it to Karen. She copied it and passed it around. We found Marge, from accounting, rolling around hysterically on the floor, clutching her copy, twice. Every time you went into the coffee room somebody was reading a passage. I figure about twenty copies. How much do I owe you?
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name = GAYLE THOMPSON
Submission_author = The Lid by R.L. Walker
Points = 2 points
opinion of the poem and author = IT WAS GOOD ON THE FIRST PART BUT THE SECOND PART WASNT CLEAR WHAT HE WAS WRITING ABOUT. WHAT IS THE LID AN UNHAPPY PUP? NOT A BAD POEM JUST NEEDS CLEARIFICATION ON THE SECOND HALF GOOD LUCK.
name = Dick Swenson
Story_author = Sam Schpade - Private Detective by Gary Gordon
Points = 5 points
opinion of the story and author = I'd give this story 20 points if you'd let me. I knew Gary in the service and he was a funny bastard then too. We recently bumped into each other and he mentioned your site and - Here I Am!
He was right too - very professional and loaded with really good writers. I'll be back to visit and tell Gary to write some more - QUICK!
name = Alexa Mackenzie
Narrative_author = Hail The Mighty God Cyber by Megan Love
Points = 5 points
opinion of the narrative and author = This author has a habit of provoking thoughts were there were none. Unruly and undisciplined thought usually results in extraordinary messages - and in 15 years, she just got better at it. it is nice to see her publishing in such a open fashion. Well done Megan!
name = Alexa Mackenzie
Poem_author = Pan's Seduction by Megan Love
Points = 5 points
opinion of the poem and author = This Author can turn anything into verse, and this is one of her better efforts as a serious adult poet. I would like to see more of her work published.
name = Alexa Mackenzie
Poem_author = Again, my love... by Megan Love
Points = 5 points
opinion of the poem and author = Again this author draws on personal emotion to present a truthful encounter.
name = Alexa Mackenzie
Poem_author = Pan's Pleasure by Tommy
Points = 4 points
opinion of the poem and author = This author compliments the inspiration nicely.
name = Kathy
Narrative_author = It's Not Just About Me Anymore by Khyla
Points = 5 points
opinion of the narrative and author = Khyla is a very shy and sensitive person and her enthusiasm at being able to relay her experience comes through in her narrative. She has always been a favorite of mine.
name = michele joanne lozito-manera
Narrative_author = It's Not Just About Me Anymore by Khyla
Points = 5 points
opinion of the narrative and author = I think that this article was very well written and states a very real, optimistic turn of events for BBW's & SSBBW's around the world ... It's about time! Go Khyla!!!
name = LISA FERRER
Submission_author = Snow! by R.L. Walker
Points = 5 points
opinion of the poem and author = That poem is sooooooo cute! How true it is about snow. It brings me back to when I was a child, great snow memories. definately a 5!!!
name = LISA FERRER
Submission_author = Leaves by R.L. Walker
Points = 4 points
opinion of the poem and author = this is a very nice descriptive poem. I could actually see the leaves in my mind.
name = Ken Bushnell
Narrative_author = Now Spit by Patti Dinneen
Points = 5 points
opinion of the narrative and author = This is the funniest thing I have ever read. I guess I should offer a critique here. It looked like everything was spelled right. You make it look easy. Was it?
name = GAYLE THOMPSON
Submission_author = Snow! by R.L. Walker
Points = 5 points
opinion of the poem and author = EXCELLENT POEM! IT BRINGS YOU BACK TO YOUR CHILDHOOD YEARS. WELL WRITTEN AND HAS A NICE RHYMING EFFECT AND IT IS EASY TO FOLLOW AND READ. NICE JOB.
name = sheila
Poem_author = Angel Cast by Lisa Ferrer
Points = 5 points
opinion of the poem and author = i found this to be inspiring
name = Raye McDonald
Narrative_author = It's Not Just About Me Anymore by Khyla
Points = 5 points
opinion of the narrative and author = Khyla, your piece was beautifully expressed. Americans are obsessed with body image. I've always wondered how many who criticize fat people will handle growing old and wrinkled in a youth oriented society - and having watched a few of them age,(who are bone thin)... boy they do it faster than those with abundant flesh.
name = Richard Clark
Column_author = Please select the column you are reviewing
Points = 5 points
opinion of the column and author = ..and so where does this mirror image of the Gemini hang? After rejecting your interpretation I then read your piece and was fascinated as just now I was looking at my face in the mirror and was struck by the life and depth of my left eye and the profound sadness and mystery that I perceived in my right eye. Uncanny huh! so a belated thank you, Richard.
name = Jerry Lewellen
Poem_author = A Candle In A Dirty Glass
by Alice Bateman
Points = 5 points
opinion of the submission and author = I like the symbols and image that this poem represents. Nicely done!!
name = Jerry Lewellen
Poem_author = The Sacrifice by Linda Dousay
Points = 5 points
opinion of the poem and author = The idea that God is dead and we are alone to take on the world is controversial but you state it very well. I will have to return to this poem and try to understand it better. The reason I read poetry is to try and understand complex views in a creative format. Your poem does just that. I will be looking for more from you.
name = Linda Dousay
Poem_author = First Gray by Jerry Lewellen
Points = 5 points
opinion of the poem and author = Very well written. The opening sentence/paragraph effectively
grabs your eye. He continues to hold your attention with an
excellent and extremely funny example of a day "locked in a four-
door prison (car) with two strong-willed four year olds". His final
paragraph refers to the opening one. Excellent finish!
name = Darlene Cates
Narrative_author = It's Not Just About Me Anymore by Khyla
Points = 5 points
opinion of the narrative and author = I applaud the author's sense of self acceptance and self respect and wish that every person of size could inherit that same self respect and awakening of spirit. Brava, Khyla!!!
name = Alice C. Bateman
Poem_author = Visions by Pam Newton
Points = 5 points
opinion of the poem and author = Pam, this is a very well written poem with an excellent message! Thank you for sharing this with us.
name = Bill
Poem_author = MY, Protector, The Crow by Gayle Thompson
Points = 4 points
opinion of the poem and author = A rough Gem with a little polish this would be an outstanding poem. I could easily envision what the author had seen
there seems to be a problem with the way the program displayed the poem it papers it was not displayed as the author intended making difficult to read.
name = Krystal Bateman
Submission_author = I Wanted To Write A Poem by Durrell B. Robinson
Points = 5 points
opinion of the submission and author = well, congratulations, that must suck not having poems come naturally, mine to, they just come so i guess i'm lukey, well i can't wait to read your next one
name = carol
Poem_author = Angel Cast by Lisa Ferrer
Points = 5 points
opinion of the poem and author = i really enjoyed this poem it made me cry this women has away with poems,that touches my heart
name = carol
Poem_author = A Candle In A Dirty Glass
by Alice Bateman
Points = 3 points
opinion of the submission and author = it:S nice but needs more detales
name = kristen
Submission_author = Its Only A Dream by Heather Donovan
Points = 4 points
opinion of the submission and author = awesome, narrative, very concise
name = Derek Bracer
Poem_author = Bald And Dead by Emily Janiak
Points = 5 points
opinion of the poem and author = I have been waiting for another one of Ms. Janiak's poems and I especially like the chilling effect of her prosetry. The work world is not kind and those people in it don't care. However, we must find a way to survive. Great Images from this poem, as always!!
name = Raye McDonald
Submission_author = My Life by Durrell B. Robinson
Points = 5 points
opinion of the submission and author = Your writing is perceptive and deep. All age groups could relate to this story. Hope to read more of your submissions, Durrell.....
name = Parker Lykins
Poem_author = Angel Cast by Lisa Ferrer
Points = 4 points
opinion of the poem and author = This poem is creative and inspirational to all who read it. I like all of the descriptive words and illustrative thoughts that make this story a winner. Keep up the good work and I look forward to all other poems from you.
name = Derek Snyder
Submission_author = The Question by Jessica Sayer
Points = 1 points
opinion of the submission and author = The poem to me didn't make sense. I just didn't like it.
name = Brian Willmott
Submission_author = Cold Presence by Kim Knight
Points = 3 points
opinion of the submission and author = Kim has the basis of a horror tale here, but I feel that it needs some expansion to work properly.
name = Brian Willmott
Submission_author = Campground Killer by George H. Lafferty
Points = 4 points
opinion of the submission and author = George's story presents a chilling prospect. Somewhere out there such a killer could be waiting!
The only complaint I have about this story is the un-necessary attention to the details of the weapon. This distracts the reader slightly from the flow of the story.
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