Table of Contents
Page 28 - Alternate Resurrection
Page 35 - "The Book of Chances"
Page 42 - The Evolutionary Classifieds
Page 49 - The "Official Church Leaders" Page
Page 56 - Letters to the Editor
Page 77 - Contact the fools - How you ca contact the us
My name is pronounced "meekowe"
And don't you forget it!
I have lived several years (because I am fit) and learned a thing or two about life (surviving it). So this makes me very qualified at helping others with their daily survival.
Ergo, that is why I am the "help" writer for this publication.
It takes many random typings to create something coherent, but there's always one that seems to make enough sense to publish.
Dear Miko,
Why don't animals have religion? Do I, as a human, need religion if animals don't?
Thanks,
Curious Jorge.
Dear Curious Jorge,
This is a great question and I can help.
But first, I don't know why you "humans" claim to be so advanced and yet can't figure this stuff out! You all go around saying, "Look at us! Look at us! We're more advanced than other animals. Look at us!" Well if you guys are so evolved, why do you need help with this kind of stuff?!
The answer is so clear, it's right under your nose. If it was a snake, it would have bit you - then it probably would have died from fast-food toxic poisoning. You hairless freaks are gross.
Animals don't practice religion because they don't have the mental capacity to ponder such things.
But, I need to let you in on
a little secret. I AM the only animal that DOES practice religion.
It's called animism.
There are many forms of, but that's for another time.
The important thing is "why" do I practice religion
and the others don't?
Simply, it is because I am smarter and can comprehend such things, and the others, with lesser-evolved brains, can't.
So it is a clear sign that those animals (only me for now) who do practice religion are much more intelligent than those who don't. The logic is very simple and clear.
In fact, maybe it could be argued that I am more evolved than humans who don't practice religion?!
So I would say, "yes" to your question of whether you should practice religion or not. It will make you seem more intelligent to your peers once you have explained it to them the way I have to you.
And I suggest practicing animism, it is the only true religion. In fact, you can start by worshiping me! This would REALLY show your friends how INTELLIGENT you are.
Then you can invite them to the worship service (of me). And the good news is is that my tithe is only 5%.
(I hear that the humans of the Christian religion are going to be raising their tithe amount, but it is only an unsubstantiated rumor at this point).
I look forward to seeing you at the service,
Miko
